Chuck vs the day that changed everything
by supesfan18
Summary: An A/U Chuck/ Sarah story.  Even the years are different.  Please pay attention to the dates.  It's a heavily emotional story in the beginning.  Will be a drama/ tragedy to begin with.  But eventually a story of survival and romance.
1. Chapter 1

Forward by Bdaddydl.

So I was once again enjoying the privilege of Betaing The Coma when Supesfan18 said " I got my next story idea."

He started telling me about an AU that takes place before during and after 911. I thought it was a great idea, and told him if he would let me, I would be honOred to help.

I would like to give you a warning. These first few chapters are not fluff by any means. Raw intense emotion will be on display. I know for personal reasons I can't hear taps. So please remember there will be some deaths early in the story, and Chuck isn't going to handle it to well. I will say that those scenes are beautifully written. I wanted to warn you because I know some great people who avoid this kind of drama.

Once that is over, a mature romance will form. Finally, at the stories heart, this is a survivors story. It's about 2 extraordinary people fighting internal demons as much as the outside world.  
I only hope you enjoy the ideas as much as I have.

* * *

there will be an authors note at the end of the chapter.

* * *

Chapter 1 PRELUDE TO TERROR

**September 7, 2001**

Charles Irving Bartowski was a normal college senior. He was attending Stanford University on a full ride scholarship for a double major in engineering and applied sciences; he was set to Graduate in December, a full six months before the rest of his class.

He was just bringing in the last of his furniture into the off campus apartment that he had rented for his last six months with the money he had earned from working at the Buy More by his sisters place last summer. He gave up his room at the frat house for one of the incoming inductees.

He was riding a personal high as he and his best friend Bryce moved the last piece of furniture into the apartment.

Bryce flopped down on the couch pulling the top off the Killian's Irish Red that Chuck had handed to him.

"Hmm the good stuff huh?" Bryce remarked as he nodded to Chuck.

"This is a great day, so why not splurge on something that will taste as great as this?"

"Here, here. Listen Chuck. Man. I gotta ask? You're only here for what another 6 months tops, why so much stuff, and why waste your time when we will need to move you again later in the year?"

Chuck simply shrugged his shoulders and replied "I just want everything to be perfect."

"Sooo what your saying is, once she moves in, the guys and I will never see you again."

The she the Bryce was referring to was Chuck's fiancée Kayla Hart.

Chuck had never been good with women. One night on a trip back to Burbank for the weekend two years ago, Bryce introduced Chuck to his fiancée Kayla. Bryce had heard about this club that had just opened up so he had talked Chuck into going and taking a night off from the Buy More. As soon as they entered the bar there she was. a vision of brunette hair and tanned golden skin. Chuck and Bryce's eyes went immediately to her. Although Bryce had looked over at his friend and saw a look that he had never seen before. Chuck leaned back on the love seat and just let the memory hit him in waves.

* * *

April 1999

Bryce watched his friend with amusement as his eyes never left the woman that hovered around the bar of the club. There were literally a few hundred women in the club, and his friend could not take his eyes off the one singular woman. However, this was Chuck Bartowski he was talking about. Chuck would never make the first move. So Bryce made the first move for him.

It started when Bryce started to make some noise at the bar. "Hey bar keep there's a problem with my drink!"

"Bryce what are you doing?" Chuck asked in a hushed tone

"Don't worry old pal." Bryce replied in the same way. He than continued in a much louder voice. "Hey Bartender, why are you watering down your drinks?"

That got the attention of Bryce's target for this operation. .

"Excuse me sir, Can I help you with something?" She asked warily?

"Certainly; first, you can give my apologies to the bartender. Secondly, you can give my friend here your name."

Chuck buried his face in his hands turning beat red.

The manager cocked her head to the side "Well for starters you're going to buy everyone at the bar a round of drinks after you falsely accused my bartender of watering down the drinks. Also, why should I give him my name if he can't even ask me himself?"

Chuck looked up at both Bryce, and the woman in question, and simply said "Look we are sorry to have bothered you let's just go."

As Chuck turned to leave, the Manager spoke up.

"Hey Quiet Man, I never said that I wouldn't talk to you, I was just curious as to why your friend had to approach me?"

Bryce slowly backed away and wandered a little farther down the bar and left the two alone to let nature take its course; he knew once Chuck got started he'd be fine, he just needed a push. "Barkeep, a round for every single woman at the bar."

"Well uh…you see." Chuck ran a hand thru his hair in frustration.

"Ahhh I see, one of those shy types. But you are cute in a geeky sort of way; my name is Kayla, and yours?"

"We prefer nerd actually."

"Excuse me?"

"Well I know the first word that rolls of your tongue is geek, but we actually prefer the term nerd."

"Ok, so nerd then, do you have a name, or should I just call you my nerd?"

Chuck stood there for a second unsure what to say. His mouth just fell open. Until he felt a nudge from Bryce and then he heard him whisper "tell her your name genius" and the Bryce continued onto the Dance floor with two blondes on his arm.

"Chuck!" His neck became red again as he said it way to loudly.

Kayla giggled "Well Chuck it's nice to meet you. So, what brings you to my little club?"

"Well, my friend Bryce heard about this place. He suggested we come here on our way back from our weekend break from college."

"What school?"

"Stanford"

Kayla gave him a huge smile "Oh a smart and cute guy huh? So again I ask, why my club?"

"As you can see I'm not so good at talking to beautiful women, and it was either come here with Bryce, or stay home with my sister and her boyfriend."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"Please! You know you are?"

"Ok, so tell me what do you think of my little club then?"

"Well, it's kind of flashy; I can see the appeal from the masses but…"

"But?" Kayla stood there incredulously that this gee… _nerd,_ she just met was going to tell her what was wrong with her club.

"The DJ you have playing tonight is ok, not great by any means, but I guess if you keep the booze flowing no one will notice. He did a show up at school but…"

"But" _What is it with this guy?_ Kayla thought to herself. Then she wondered why she cared.

"He mixes his sound to much. He might be trying to go old school with the scratching, but damn that's enough. Plus, his reverb is way too much."

"Well you know what…."

Chuck rocked back on his heels. Have I gone too far?

Kayla took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and shook her head before saying. "You are right. Tonight is his last show playing here, and I think that he is angry that I wouldn't pick up his contract. I am just angry that neither my staff, nor myself, could see his lack of talent before his booking was up for renewal. Yet you saw it while only being in the club for less than an hour."

Chuck bowed and in an English accent said, "Milady, I offer my services to be your personal consultant anytime you need me to."

Kayla giggled and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"Look if you don't mind my suggesting it. I have a friend who DJ's on the side, and Morgan is much better than this, and he's local."

"Before I try him out, what exactly makes you a music aficionado?"

"I have an eclectic taste really a little Nina Simmone, Arcade Fire, the Soup dragons. Honestly there isn't a music style that I don't listen to save perhaps country, that's just god awful, and let's not forget the countless number of concerts that I have been to. Also I'm pretty sure that my vinyl and CD collection could rival the biggest collector. That and I 'm a double major, in engineering and applied sciences, so I'm pretty sure sound and amplification have some aspects in that."

"OK then, so what's your friend's name again?"

"Morgan Grimes."

Just as Kayla was going to respond, Chuck noticed over her shoulder that two pretty large men were advancing on Bryce and the two young ladies he was dancing with.

Now Chuck may look like a lanky nerd, however when he was younger and he was getting beat up by the school yard bully his sister Ellie had sent him to get some boxing lessons, for self defense. Now Chuck has never told anyone that so that makes what happened next that much more surprising.

The big guy grabbed Bryce back by the neck and turned him around. Now Bryce was not a little guy. But two on one, Chuck was not going to let his friend get taken out by two UCLA frat guys.

Kayla stood back and motioned for her bouncer to come by her. "Be ready in case this gets ugly.

Chuck slid in between Bryce and the jock that had grabbed him and started talking. "Now look guys there is no need for violence. My buddy here bought everyone a round of drinks that were around the bar at the time. Now if you weren't there, I am sorry but I would be happy to buy you guys some. So let's go to the bar."

"Out of my way geek." The jock went to push Chuck out of his way, however Chuck had other ideas.

As the jocks hand came close to Chuck. Chuck slipped to his right and grabbed the man's arm and spun him around to face Chuck. While he was off balance Chuck took the opportunity to place his feet and bring his arms up in front of his face. The jock couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Look! Bob Shrimpo here thinks he can take me on."

"Get him Dano"

"Yeah Dano, come and get me." Chuck goaded.

Just about everyone in the bar started to form a circle around the two, even Bob and Bryce stopped and stared at the altercation that was about to take place. Meanwhile Kayla while just meeting Chuck had her bouncer ready to act.

Dano threw a sloppy punch to the right of Chuck's face. Chuck easily slid to the left and then returned to his stance prior to that. Dano then threw a punch to the left, which Chuck easily avoided by sliding to the right.

Bryce noticed that Chuck was toying with the man. Who was this Chuck? It certainly wasn't the quiet, video game, studious Chuck he knew.

Ok time to end this. Chuck thought to himself.

The frat boy Dano threw a huge lunging punch at Chuck. Chuck dipped his head and Dano's fist connected square in the forehead. Dano pulled his hand back in its crumpled form as blood slowly dripped from his knuckles.

"Dano, anatomy 101 the human head is the hardest bone in the body. If you hit it in the right spot well you know what happens."

Chuck jabbed at the man's face, hitting him square in the nose.

"Now, the next time you feel the need to gang up and pick on some one; make sure he is really alone will you."

Chuck gave him an upper cut to his jaw and Dano fell back.

"Oh, and lastly, its nerd not geek. Why can't anyone get it right?"

As Bob came over to help his friend, Chuck relaxed his body and walked back over to Kayla.

"Listen I am sorry Mrs. Hart if there is any damage, well just let me know, and I will take care of it somehow." Chuck turned and started for the clubs exit.

Broken out of her stunned silence Kayla, spoke up, just before chuck disappeared out the door, and out of her life forever.

"Chuck, you never told me how to get in touch with your friend about that job."

"Well after this little display of manhood... I figured I…, I mean… we blew our chance."

"Chuck, where did you learn to do that? I don't know a lot of nerds who can fight like you."

"When I was younger, and was getting beat up by the school yard bully my sister Ellie sent me to get some boxing lessons, for self defense." Chuck shook his head. "Wow, I have never told anyone that before."

"Well if you give me his number maybe I'll call him. That is if you promise to call me so we can go out sometime."

"That's a deal" Chuck replied with a huge smile on his face.

* * *

September 7, 2001

Chuck was brought out of his memory by a new voice to the room.

"Are you trying to imply that my fiancée is whipped?"

"No not at all. It's just, we barely see him now as it is. With you moving in, we'll never see him" countered Bryce.

Bryce continued to dig himself deeper by going on. "You know it's like he is under house arrest. Permanent lockdown."

Kayla slowly grinned, for she anticipated this.

"Listen, I know your guy time is a lot less then desired. I thought about this already and I even brought a friend along for you to play with while I keep our dear Charles here tied up for a bit."

"Hey guys!" Morgan came trouncing threw the door.

"Wha?" Was all Chuck could respond as his fiancée came and wrapped her arms around him.

While Bryce and Morgan were bro hugging one another, Chuck started to speak up.

"Morgan, what are you doing here little buddy?"

"Well my best friend's lady asked me to come for a visit, so I came."

Chuck looked confused until he heard Kayla's voice. "Uhh guys, can you give me and Chuck a few minutes alone?"

"Sure, Hey Chuck, call my cell when you are done."

Chuck looked up at his fiancée and replied "Yeah I'll call you in a bit."

"Bryce wait, I'll make you a deal. You can have him for the next couple of days all to your selves, and after I get back from New York, one night a week. Is that agreeable?"

Bryce could see the questioning look in Chuck's eyes and nodded to his Fiancée.

With that, Bryce and Morgan flew out the door.

"New York?" Chuck asked with a raised eyebrow.

_This is gonna be tough._ "Chuck, remember that partner I told you about. He wants in. He wants to put up the remaining money I need for my own club. The catch is that I have to go to New York and meet with his lenders there to secure the funds."

After several moments of "Baby, Chuck please say something."

Chuck sat there with his fingers crossed and his chin resting on top. "When would you leave?"

"Sunday, the morning of the Nineth and I'd be back no later than Wed the twelfth. Baby, you know how long I've wanted to own my own place."

Chuck stood up and walked to the window, and placed his hands on either side of the frame, and leaned into it. Wetting his lips as he began to speak.. "So it's Friday afternoon now and you'd be leaving with some strange man, which I don't even know, for a weekend long trip to New York City. Should I be jealous? Worried that you won't be coming home to me?"

"CHUCK!"

With a tear slipping down her cheek Kayla turned away hurt clearly showing on her face and started to pick up her suitcase.

"Sweetie, wait it's just… You know how insecure I am. You are gorgeous and I'm me. Just lanky, ok looking me. I'm just not who people think you should be with when they look at us together. No one would ever in a million years see you with me."

Kayla leaned in and grabbed the sides of his face.

Stifling a sob she continued with her grip tight on his face. "Chuck listen to me very carefully….The only person whose opinion counts on who I should be with is mine, and you're stuck with me. For better, for worse and everything in between. I. Love You, you big goof." Kayla smiled wiggling her engagement ring with her thumb.

"Your right, I am sorry."

"It's ok. So how about we break this place in properly?" Kayla whispered with a sexy smile that made Chuck's heart flutter.

The next 36 hours flew by.

As Chuck and Kayla lay spent in each others arms, they lazily stretched out across the bed. Chuck had an arm covering his face breathing hard, as Kayla stirred next to him.

He glanced at the alarm clock next to his bed and saw the time of 7:42pm. Kayla had changed her flight to the red eye on Sunday night.

"Chuck, were did all that passion come from? I mean five times. And I think we broke your kitchen counter." Chuck didn't answer her.

"Chuck I need to jump in the shower so we can leave for the airport."

Again Chuck didn't reply.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"Nothing" was the only reply that she got.

"Charles. Irving. Bartowski. Tell me now, or so help me God, I will call your sister."

"I just have a bad feeling about this trip ok. That's it. Although, I want you to go get this loan set up, and let's get you a club."

Kayla smiled thru her tears.

"Listen, I will call you every night I am away. Ok."

"Ok." Chuck got up out of bed to go make some coffee and smacked Kayla in the ass.

"Go get in the shower."

As she twirled in the dim light in the room Kayla spun around and smiled "Yes sir" with a mock salute.

After dropping Kayla off at the airport which included a fairly passionate kiss that got Chuck a citation for disturbing the peace and offending people with children. Chuck drove off to meet up with Morgan and Bryce.

Little did he know that at 9:03:04 eastern standard time on September 11th, 2001 his life would be changed forever.

* * *

Boston 1996

Deputy Director of the CIA Langston Graham hated going on recruitment trips. However, as DDI, he had to go on one once a quarter.

Today, he was on the Harvard campus. His cover was that he was a recruiter for employment within the federal government. He would speak about different agencies and get people interested to work for the government.

He had agents for that. Today, his real purpose was to scout out talent for the CIA.

The agency liked the smart ones, the independent thinkers.

As he was looking out at the vast amount of people passing the booth he would occasionally send out an agent to set up a private meeting with someone that might have potential.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of this slightly nerdy looking young woman who unconsciously avoided being touched or disturbing others with her presence.

She would slide into a booth, retract a pamphlet, and slip back out like she was a professional pick pocket.

Langston grabbed his coffee and from a distance watched this woman. He noticed the eyes constantly on the go and always on alert scanning the room._ Instinctive_ s_ituational awareness_

Langston saw the potential this woman had right away, but what happened next truly impressed him.

He had been removed from field duty long ago, but Langston Graham was not rusty, and if he didn't want to be seen then he wouldn't be.

However thirty seconds ago he lost his subject of curiosity completely.

A moment later he was tapped on the shoulder.

When he turned around he was facing the brightest blue sapphire eyes that he had ever seen.

"Why are you following me?"

"I wasn't. Look Miss I assure that I…"

"I don't like being followed, just let me be, and I won't report you to the police for stalking."

As the woman turned to go, Langston made his move.

"Wha-wait" he caught her elbow with his hand.

Mistake.

The subject of his attention grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder almost effortlessly.

If he wasn't impressed before he was now.

"I said leave….."

"Wait miss, my name is Langston Graham. I am a Deputy Director of the CIA." Langston handed her his ID for her to examine. "I'd like to discuss your future with you." .

The woman handed back his ID and took his hand and replied "Sarah Walker, nice to meet you."

Langston led her to a private conference room, and called for one of the younger agents to come over.

While Director Graham was giving the young agent a few orders by the door, Sarah sat there thinking about her family_. Could I really leave them_?

Could she leave and never speak to her parents again, or her younger sister Christina, or her baby brother Sebastian? Would it even come to that?

Would this proposed job change her?

Could she live with that?

She thought about her family, and if taking this job meant ensuring their safety and protecting them so they could lead normal and happy lives, and help ensure the safety of the free world, then yes, she could do it.

For the next four hours, Langston Graham laid out a very detailed explanation of what Sarah would be asked to do. He didn't sugar coat anything as she had asked him not to at the beginning of their chat. He went into detail about the rigorous training that she would receive. He was surprised to learn that Sarah was fluent in nine languages already.

Mr. Graham what aren't you telling me? Sarah asked. "I asked you to be honest and forth coming if you're not going to tell me everything then this interview is over." Sarah stood up to grab her bags.

"Ok, ok sit down young lady. There are some very unsavory aspects of the job. You will be moving from assignment to assignment all over the world, that part is true. However, there will be times a lot of times maybe were you will be asked to kill someone. There may be times were you will have to seduce someone."

Graham took a second to pause before he continued on to let it sink in.

"We would never tell you to sleep with a mark you go as far as you are comfortable with. However, with experience the farther you go the easier it is to get the mark to do what you need them to do. Maybe you have a silver tongue that will get you out o that. There is a seduction school, where you are required to learn different ways to seduce people however as I said whether you decide to employ these techniques is up to you."

"The people we are fighting against are classified as enemies of the state. You are not permitted to kill someone unless directly authorized, or it unless it is a life or death situation."

"I am sure that there are things that I have missed. How ever, that covers everything I consider to be the worst of the worst. The question is, are you ready to serve your country Sarah Walker?"

Sitting there with her hands in her lap Sarah looked up and simply asked if she could have a few hours to think about it.

Langston Graham would have given her two days to think about it; however he didn't want something to turn her away from something he knew would help him, and something she would excel at.

"You have until the end of the business day. Here is my cell number, please call me with your decision. Remember, you have until this afternoon. Thank you, Miss Walker for your time."

Sarah shook his hand and walked to the local star bucks and just sat in the window with a cup of coffee and went over everything in her head.

Langston Graham was even more impressed with his candidate after he was done with her lengthy interview. She had asked for the honest truth, and when he held back she noticed it and called him on it. Now he just had to wait for the phone call.

Around 5:30pm Langston Graham got the phone call he had been waiting for.

Sarah Walker had said yes, but on her terms. She would train at night on weekends and all summer till she graduated. If they selected others on the campus they would all dorm together and train as one unit together.

Yes Sarah Walker would be the handpicked protégé of Langston Graham, and would help catapult him to the director of the CIA. Her career had exceeded his expectation in such a short amount of time until that fateful day when he got the news, and Jennifer Burton walked into his office tendering her resignation on February 19, 2003.

* * *

Author's note: This story is deeply personal to me. The feelings that will be felt by Chuck were felt first hand. I will warn anyone reading that the next few chapters will be intense. This story is written as two seperate stories that will merge into one. Please please pay attention to years and dates for they are diferent for both stories till they connect together to form one big story. For those of you looking for the sequel to Chuck vs the coma. it will happen after this story is completed. This is something that needed to be told to help me finally move on. I want to thank me wife for coming along and helping me with this process. I love you mor then ife itself and you have given me the greatest gift ever. Our lovely daughter Siena Grace.


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING LIKE ANY STORY THIS HAS LIGHT AND DARK, THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TOUGH TO READ THERE IS A CHARACTER DEATH, AND TRUE RAW EMOTIONS ON DISPLAY. THIS IS FALLOUT OF SEPT 11, 2001 FROM THE VICTIMS PERSPECTIVE.

Please see Author's note at the end of the chapter  


* * *

CHAPTER 2: THE DAY IT ALL CHANGED PART 1

September 11, 2001 8:15 am

Bryce was just finishing getting back from his morning run when he walked in and found Morgan sans clothes making coffee.

"Gah! Morgan, what have Chuck and I told you about doing the Full Monty?"

"Look man I'm sorry, Kayla grabbed me coming out of the club the other day and said we were going on a road trip. I didn't even have time to grab a lot of clothes. So I had to go down to the washer in the basement and do my laundry."

Bryce threw him his robe from the couch and told him to go get dressed.

"However, thanks for the coffee. It's just what I needed after last night to clear the cobwebs."

Yeah sorry about crashing here anyway, but I thought Chuck might want to be alone after Kayla called and said she might be in New York till Thursday."

On his way out of the room, Bryce turned back to Morgan and spoke "Hey Morg, turn on the TV will ya and let me know the scores of the game last night. I'm gonna jump in the shower."

"You do know that I know nothing about sports right? All I know is video games, music, and movies?"

"Morgan, the Dodgers game, go to ESPN and read the ticker at the bottom of the screen; it will flash up."

"You got it" Morgan simply replied.

Morgan grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels as he came across Brian Williams on ABC making a special announcement.

**8:48 AM: Twenty five minutes later.**

"Hey Morgan did they announce the score of the Dodgers game last night."

SILENCE

"Morgan?"…..

Bryce pulled his shirt on and walked into what he called the den. Being the President of the Frat house meant he got the biggest room. It had its own bathroom, a bed room, and a small dining area.

As he turned the corner he saw Morgan just standing there. His coffee cup laying cold and spilt on the floor by his feet.

"Dude! What the he…"

"Plane" Morgan only replied.

"What plane?"

Morgan just stared ahead and replied "Could be terrorists"

Bryce went to clean up the spill on the floor when he asked Morgan one more time. "Morgan what plane? What terrorists?"

"Look." and Morgan pointed to the TV. Bryce looked up and saw a plume of smoke billowing out of the World Trade Center in New York.

As he forced himself to take a breath, the camera zoomed in on the flames shooting out the side. Bryce could see pieces of paper just falling haphazardly in the air and wind.

As Bryce stared at the TV watching the horror in front of him, the two men could just make out from the zoom lens people jumping out of the 80th story window, and the camera panning down as they fell to their already doomed fate.

All of a sudden it hit him. The World Trade Center Tower One was on fire.

_KAYLA._

His eyes then widened as the event that had mesmerized him became personal.

_Chuck!_

Bryce immediately yelled "PHONE, PHONE" were had he left his phone last night.

"Morgan, help me find my phone."

"Why?"

"Just do it. OK?"

They were throwing clothes all over the floor. In between the couch cushions Morgan found it.

"Got it!"

Bryce hit the speed dial while getting his keys and wallet.

In a quiet voice spoken mainly to himself, Bryce said "Pick up, pick up dammit no answer."

"Morgan, call Ellie and tell her we need her here now."

"Bryce, slow down. Why. Are you grabbing you're keys, what's wrong?"

"Kayla is in New York at the World Trade Center, that's were her meeting is at."

"Oh God, oh god," Morgan looked left and right as if trying to find something. "Wait. What am I supposed to tell Ellie? How is Kayla? Does Chuck now?"

Bryce slapped Morgan across the face. He tolerated Morgan for the sake of Chuck, and if he had to be honest, the little gnome had grown on him to the point where he could hang out with him when Chuck wasn't around, but sometimes he just needed to wake him up.

"Call her. Tell her that Kayla was in one of the towers, and we are not sure if she is ok, and then get yourself over to Chucks."

"OK. Wait. Where are you going?"

"Chuck's not answering his phone, and he can't be alone right now."

"Ok, go….go… I'll call Ellie, and than meet you there GO!"

Bryce was running through the frat house as fast as he could navigate the stairs.

The other brothers were calling out to him "HEY BRYCE WERES THE FIRE?"

"Watch the news!" was all he said, as he ran out the door and hopped into his convertible.

Fifteen minutes later Morgan came down the stairs. No one paid him much attention, Morgan was like an honorary frat brother so everyone knew him.

"Morg, man that's awful what happened, but why did Bryce run out of here like that?"

"Chuck's girl is there"

"Where?"

Morgan pointed to the horror going on the screen.

As all the brothers turned back to the screen they realized what Bryce and Morgan were talking about. They all sat silently and watched and prayed for something to help their brother out.

Morgan took off in a run. He never was the most athletic person, but he knew how to run from bullies, and well, right now he called on everything he had, to get there as fast as he could. Chuck's place was five minutes by car, but on foot it was more like 15 or 20 minutes away. All he knew was that his best friend needed him now more than ever now.

There was no one on the street right now. Everything was deserted at the moment everyone. Morgan was running for everything he was worth. And then he heard the sound of an approaching car.

The Stanford campus security force was out in force to make sure the students were safe at this time of crisis.

"Hey young man, where are you running to?"

"My best friend's fiancée girl was at the Trade Center, I need to get to his place now."

"Get in. I'll give you a ride."

"Thanks mister, do you mind if we turn on the radio and listen to what's happening on the way there."

"Go ahead, young man."

As they drove off, Morgan recalled his conversation with Ellie.

"Westside Medical Center, how may I help you?"

"I need to speak with Dr. Ellie Bartwoski"

"Is this regarding a patient?"

"No, it's an urgent family matter; now put her on the phone now!"

"Sir, if you continue to get loud with me, I shall be forced to hang up on the call"

"Listen you…."Morgan took a second to calm down. After taking a deep breath he said "Listen, you realize what's happened today out in the world right. Well, Dr. Bartwoski is indirectly involved. So put her on NOW! If you don't, so help me God I will come down there myself and…"

"Hold one moment sir"

"DR. Bartowski, can I help you?"

"Ellie!"

"Morgan this isn't the time"

"Ellie. Please just listen"

"Morgan what's wrong, I don't really have time for this. We are really busy today with what's going on around the nation."

"Ellie you need to get to Stanford now"

"Morgan I don't have…"

"Eleanor, SHUT UP and listen! Chuck is going to need you now more than ever"

"Is he hurt?"

"I don't know yet."

Morgan could hear Ellie getting frustrated form how she was breathing and then she said

"Then why"

"Ellie, Kayla is in one of the towers."

Morgan heard the phone drop and heard Ellie scramble to pick it back up.

"Morgan go to him. I will be there as fast as I can get there and Morgan?"

"Yes, Ellie?"

"Take care of him."

Ellie used the counter to support herself as her body began to rack with uncontrollable sobs. A moment later a nurse rushed over to Ellie and started rubbing her arms to try and help her calm down.

"Dr. Bartowski are you ok?"

Ellie wearily shook her head no and simply asked "Can you please page Dr. Devon Woodcombe 911 to this location?"

"Of course" the nurse responded as she turned towards the phone Ellie once again lost control and slumped into a chair brought to her by a few of the other nurses who came over to help the distraught doctor.

As the campus police vehicle pulled up to the building, over the radio came another bulletin. A plane had flown into the second tower.

**9:03:04**

**Five minutes prior**

Bryce took the stairs to Chuck's third floor apartment three at a time. As soon as he arrived at door 3C he started banging on the door.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"Chuck open up its Bryce"

Banging two more times Bryce laid his head against the door.

"Come on Chuck open up please"

BAM! BAM!

Two of Chuck's neighbors opened up their doors to see what the ruckus was.

"Hey! Do we need to call the police?"

"No, but I will let you know if I need you to"

"Chuck open up this damn door, or I will kick the door in."

A few seconds later Bryce heard the chain slide off the security gate.

"Bryce?" Chuck said wiping the sleep ad hangover from his eyes. He was groggy and was leaning on the door to stand up.

"What time is it? Why are you here? Ugg… I need aspirin, come in"

Bryce pushed past him and went to check his answering machine. There were no new messages.

"Chuck, have you heard from Kayla?"

"No. not since last night, she probably stayed with that guy she was working with after the things I said to her, why?"

Bryce started looking for Chuck's cell phone. "Chuck, which tower was that bank Kayla was visiting in?"

"Bryce you're scaring me what's going on?"

"Dammit Chuck, which tower was Kayla in? And where there hell is your damn cell phone?"

Bryce grabbed Chuck's pajama top and shook him.

"Chuck which tower?"

"Tower two why?

"Oh good, Now where is your cell phone?"

"I think I left it in the bathroom last night by the toilet. Why?"

"Chuck, you need to see if you have any messages from Kayla?"

"Bryce, What…..why?"

"Chuck a plane. They said it was hijacked. It flew right into the North Tower at 8:44 this morning."

"Oh God, are they evacuating the second tower?" Chuck asked as he ran to the bathroom to get his phone.

"Not last I heard."

"Bryce, turn on the TV. The remote is some were on the floor"

"What time was her appointment?"

"Not till 9:30am"

"Good maybe she never made it there" Bryce replied as he grabbed a glass of milk.

Chuck silently walked back into the room staring at his phone.

"No, she was there look" Chuck replied as his eyes began to get red from the soon to be over filling tears.

"Did you get a call from her, or a text?"

Chuck looked at the phone again and handed it to Bryce and collapsed onto the couch. His head full between his knees and his hands were behind his head.

Bryce looked at the message. It had a time stamp of 8:22 AM. It was a picture of the New York skyline with the orange hue of the morning sun just rising in the east. The message under the picture read:

_Beloved, I will be home soon. We should come back here together. You'd love this view, it is amazing. I am sorry about last night; I miss you just as much. I will do whatever I can to be home as early as I can on Wednesday. Love Kayla, atop the 85__th__ floor._

They were both broken out of the reverie when Chuck's front door burst open with Morgan looking at them both with his hands on his knees huffing.

9:03:04

Not used to this much physical exertion Morgan grabbed his side and shouted "Another plane just flew into the South Tower.

Chuck grabbed his phone from Bryce's hand and hit the speed dial button.

"Oh god! Oh god! Baby pick up" Chuck pleaded with his phone.

_Hi you've reached Kayla leave a message_

Chuck hit the end button and hit redial again.

"Come on baby, pick up, PLEASE pick up."

_Hi you've reached Kayla leave a message_

"Baby, I don't know if you will get this, but please know that I love you very much. I know I was jealous, but as soon as I see you I promise I will make it up to you."

Bryce and Morgan turned away to give him a little privacy.

"Baby, we will deal with whatever has happened to you together; I will be there for you every step of the way."

Chuck tried to not sound choked up in case she was hurt or injured.

"Kayla you will get thru this and you will be the most beautiful bride that anyone has ever seen. Just remember I am with you always. Our hearts and souls are forever intertwined and will always be one. We…"

BEEP. _If you are satisfied with your message press one if you'd like to rerecord your message press two._

Chuck dropped to the couch as tears silently streamed down his face.

**9:37:46 AM**

The three friends were huddled together watching the coverage as Chuck constantly tried to call Kayla's phone. He stopped when it was announced that a third plane has just flown into the Pentagon. They said another silent prayer for those that were hurt or injured in this most recent attack.

**9:59:02 AM**

Morgan sat on the couch rubbing Chuck's back. All eyes turned to the TV screen panned out, and you could see the Second Tower collapse from the structural damage and the fire that raged inside.

Chucks head came up with tears streaming down his cheeks, as you could see the ash and debris that rained thru the air.

Chuck pushed off the couch and staggered towards the bathroom. When he crossed the threshold to the room he fell to the floor. Without the strength to get up, he crawled the rest of the way to the bathroom, and violently threw up in the toilet.

"Bryce, call Ellie's cell, she is on her way. She needs to know. I'll look after our boy."

**10:03: 11 AM**

Just before Bryce and Morgan split up to take care of their individual tasks another warning flew onto the screen. United Flight 93 just crashed in Somerset County Pa, as the hijackers and passengers of the plane fought to take control of the cockpit. They didn't have long to grieve though, as the sounds coming from the bathroom brought them both back to reality. Morgan went down the hallway with a glass of water for Chuck; Bryce stepped outside and called Ellie.

Once the retching had stopped, and all that was left in Chuck's stomach was bile, he tried to stand up. However, his legs started to give way, and Morgan arrived just in time to catch him.

After rinsing his mouth out with the water that Morgan provided, Chuck whipped the vomit and snot from his face and looked at Morgan in the eyes.

"Morgan please get my cell and keep calling Kayla, maybe she made it out and in the chaos forgot to call."

Morgan looked at his friend, who was pleading with him in his eyes, for any sense of hope.

"Sure Chuck, but let's get you on the bed first, and then I'll call."

Morgan laid Chuck on the bed and heard his best friend break down in tears as he was leaving the room. Morgan knew full well that there would be no answer to the phone call he was about to make, but he knew that he would do anything to take some pain away. False hope was better that none at all.

As Morgan walked out to the living room, away from the muffled sobs emanating from Chuck's room, he overheard Bryce threw the outside door talking with Ellie. He grabbed Chuck's cell from the table, and hit Kayla on the speed dial.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Kayla, hey it's Morgan. If you're ok and can get to a phone please, please call Chuck and if you're not, well, just know that we all love you. We will take care of Chuck, but if there is a God in this world, you will be ok. We all love you Kayla"

He put the phone down and silently said a prayer to God that she would be ok.

Bryce reentered the room just as the first tower collapsed.

Bryce and Morgan just stood there for a moment and just cried. They cried for their best friend. They cried for their lost friend. They cried for everyone who died this horrible day.

Chuck made it back to the bathroom after over hearing the TV and wretched more bile into the toilet. After he was done he grabbed one of Kayla's t-shirts and curled up on the couch. Clinging to the t-shirt like it was a life preserver.

**1:15 PM**

The three friends sat and watched Brian Williams for the next three and a half hours till there was a knock on the door.

Morgan answered, and there in the doorway was Ellie, and her fiancée Devon.

Devon clapped Morgan on the back and whispered "How's he doing? Have you guys heard anything?"

Morgan shook his head no. Ellie rushed past him to her baby brother. She sat next to him, put her arms around him and placed his head on her shoulder. Morgan continued talking to Devon. "He keeps calling her phone every few minutes, and just listening to her voice on her voicemail."

Ellie was rocking her brother back and forth, when Chuck started screaming.

"Why? Why Ellie? Six months, Six months till we were going to get married." Chuck got up and went to the far wall and punches a hole in it as his head rested against the wall. Chuck continued to hit the wall screaming "Why" until he wore himself out.

Ellie stood there watching. Devon came up behind her and put his arms around her. She was shaking from watching the scene unfold in front of her. Her little brother lost the love of his life, and there is nothing she can do, but be there for him.

Chuck's forehead started sliding down the wall along with blood from his knuckles until he turned around and his body slumped to the floor his head in his knees. The tears that had just been flowing freely from his eyes were now streaming down the wall in a silent race to see which would return first to Chuck.

Throughout the day, Mayor Rudy Giuliani came on the TV in a press conference and made announcements regarding injuries, deaths, and rescue efforts. After only a few hours into the rescue, three people had been pulled from the rubble of the fallen buildings.

There were reports that volunteer construction workers and fire fighters were on route to help from neighboring states.

Ellie was ordering pizza at seven that evening when Chuck got up from his couch and went to his bedroom.

Everyone looked at one another while they heard items being thrown together.

Chuck grabbed a few t-shirts, jeans and his work boots and placed them in a duffle bag. He left the bedroom and placed the duffle by the front door.

"Chuck, where are you going?" Ellie asked thru red rimmed eyes.

"I'm driving to New York. They need volunteers, and by god, if she is still alive, I will find her."

Ellie walked up and put her arms around her brother and gently spoke "Chuck sweetie, you….you…Chuck, you know she's gone"

Chuck abruptly pulled away from her and spoke his mind "NO I don't! And until I know for sure I'm going there. If you want to come, then come. The car leaves in thirty minutes."

"Chuck, be reasonable, please"

Chuck took a breath and shrugged his shoulders "Until I know for sure, I am going. Please try and understand Ellie I can't give up, I'll never give up."

As she wiped her tears she hugged her brother and regained her composure. "Ok, look. Give me an hour, I promise not to stop you. Just go and take a nap and I'll make you some sandwiches."

"Thanks Ellie."

After Chuck shut the bedroom door, Ellie motioned for the other three men to follow her.

Once they were outside of the apartment Ellie spoke up.

"Look I am worried about Chuck. I know when he has his mind set and is determined, not to try and change his mind."

"That said, Morgan I need you to go with Chuck. Devon, can you take a few days off and go with them?"

"Babe, I have 3 surgeries scheduled." Devon looked in his fiancées eyes and saw the pleading in them. "But I will get someone to cover for me, so sure, I'll go. I just need to call Dr. Ramathorne. I also need to run out and get some work boots and clothes."

Ellie turned to Morgan and asked "Morgan, do you need anything?"

"Just some boots"

"Come on little man, let's go shopping." Devon clasped his back and turned him towards the door.

"What about me?" Bryce spoke up in a slightly cracked voice.

"Bryce, I need you to get me a meeting with the Dean of Students."

Bryce looked at Ellie for a second.

"We both know Chuck is not going to recover from this and be able to complete this last semester. It's your and my job to see if we can get him to graduate early, or postpone his last semester."

"Alright, let me go check with the pre-law guys at the frat, and then I will make the appointment."

As Bryce headed down the stairs, Ellie hugged herself and walked back into the apartment. She heard the muffled cries and sniffing coming from Chuck's room.

She pulled a chair up to the bed and held his hand as her heart broke for the woman her brother lost. She stroked his hair till he fell back to sleep.

Forty Five minutes later Devon and Morgan walked in threw the door.

"What took you guys so long?" Ellie asked.

"Well most of the stores were closed due to the terror alert and to mourn in general. It is spooky out there. There are rumors about the Sears tower in Chicago closing due to threats. Malls all over the country are closed."

Devon looked back at Morgan. "Plus, Morgan got us lost on the way back."

"I got distracted, I saw the sizzling shrimp sign and lost track of where we were."

Ellie had this look of disgust on her face, but finally spoke up "Morgan go load up my car and…"

"The Mustang?"

"Yes, and don't scratch it."

"See. You do love me"

"OUT" Ellie pointed out the door.

"Morgan shut the door and start loading. We will be down in a few minutes."

Devon took his fiancée in his arms and kissed her forehead.

"How's our little bro?"

"He's finally sleeping. Devon what are we going to do?"

"Be there for him Hun. That's all we can do. Remember our grief counseling, he may not open up right away. He may never completely open up. He may just pack it in and let it fester."

Devon noticed the worry on her face.

"But we will be there for him with whatever he needs."

Ellie leaned up and gave him a passionate kiss. One that was a little inappropriate for the situation, but she wanted to do it while Chuck wasn't in the room.

Devon pulled away from her and wiped a stray tear away with his thumb.

* * *

Author's note: first i want to thank everyone who has made it this far. This is by far the most emotional scene i have ever written. This was originally intended to have a Sarah portion of the chapter but due to the heaviness of above i decided to save it for the next chapter. This needed to be told on its own. Please know that the emotions that Chuck felt in this are ll very real an were felt. I need to thank a few people. 1 my fantastic beta Bdaddydl. he kept me grounded and made sure i was honest with this chapter. he encouragd me not to hold back. I need to thank Powerslide, PeterOinNj, and NickyR for your help and great reviews. Lastly Tynianrex for the great review and for picking up who Kayla Hart is from the Chuck universe. I want to thank my wife for coming into my life and for giving me the most blessed gift she can my daughter. Lastly i dont beg for reviews or hold chapters for ransom, but i truely need everyone who reads this to send in a review. i have 2 to 3 more chapters in this story that will be emotional. mayb not as intense but as close as i can. I just need to know what i did right and hat i did wrong with this chapter. So in advance thanks. The next chapter will be out in a week or two.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N 1:First i want to apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I had it written and then did not like it and completely rewrote it. my poor beta Bdaddydl, has gone thru several drafts and constant im's that have come from me to add things in or delete them. He has been very patient. Oh and the Sarah piece i wrote it, but the surprise guest came more from Bdaddydl. i just couldn't find my rhythm for this person. Second i want to truly thank each and every one for you who have sent in reviews or pm's. You have without a doubt really helped me through this process. be it the ones who have shared their personal experiences even if it wasn't in this country. Like from Spain, Australia, or over in England. Just hearing your feelings and thoughtfulness have truly helped me so thank you. and finally to the anonymous reviewers thank you. I respond to each and every review and i wish i could respond to you as well. so thank you again. The next chapter is written and in Bdaddydl's hands now so as soon as he is done it will be posted. I wish to thank my family and friends for their support and especially my wife and daughter i love you. There will be a brief second authors note at the end. Please review and let me know what i have done wrong and what i have done right.

* * *

Chapter 3: The next step

1997

Sarah Walker excelled at anything she put her mind to. Between school and her CIA training she had been at the top of her class.

That is until Seduction School. Sarah could shoot a weapon, and even kill someone with a knife. She had become a master at the knife. One thing was certain, she didn't like Seduction School.

First, Sarah saw herself as the world's biggest nerd. She loved fantasy, and sci-fi movies. She would rather connect with someone on an emotional and intellectual level than on pure looks. Her parents had taught her that sex was something to be cherished and not tossed around like it was a sport.

Her roommate on the other hand, saw sex as a sport, and constantly reminded Sarah of that fact. Carina Miller used her body like some athletes used steroids. She used it to get what she wanted when she wanted it. She was constantly trying to give Sarah a makeover, and trying to get her to change her mind on sex. Sarah had only been with three men, her high school boyfriend, a crush in college, and a fellow agent in training.

She thought she loved him, but it turned out he was just using her to get further in the program. She laughed about it now because only Carina and she were left of the four that were recruited that day on campus. This just made her decision to not use sex just for sex or for the job even more concrete.

However, Director Graham had called her and told her if she didn't pass this class she would be bounced out of the program, and it would be a shame since she had so much potential. He informed her that she would be meeting up with a CIA legend; a man who had written the book for seduction school.

* * *

Deputy Director for Intelligence Graham sat at his desk and rubbed his temples. It was a long day, but at least one of his problems might get solved after the meeting about to take place. Graham rubbed his temples harder when he thought; _If Walker didn't show so much promise this would not be a problem._

He pressed his intercom button and asked his assistant to send him in. When the Agent walked into the office Graham had to smile. Roan Montgomery was the only Agent he ever knew who wore designer clothes as his regular work uniform. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that Roan looked like the American version of James Bond (Roger Moore addition).

"Good evening, Langston. It appears you did not take my advice and decorated the office yourself." Roan said as he entered his office, opened his jacket by releasing the button and sat down in the desk in front of the director's desk.

"Just because I do not have artwork of complete crap on the walls does….Roan I really do not have time to be arguing about a subject I could care less about. I called you in here because I need your help."

"Well since you got me that assignment in Milan during Fashion week I owe you one." Roan got up and pressed a button by Graham's desk on the side wall. When a cabinet opened Roan started making a drink. He turned and looked at his boss. "Would you like one?"

"Please, make yourself at home." Once Roan had sat down again, Langston continued. "Down at the farm there is a prodigy that could use your individual assistance. Without it, I do believe we will lose a valuable agent."

Graham tossed the file over the desk to Roan. He opened the file and skimmed it just to familiarize himself with his latest assignment.

* * *

Roan Montgomery sat at the bar as he waited for the trainee known to him as Jennifer Burton to come into the watering hole as assigned. He watched her enter the bar from a distance. Montgomery pulled the olives out of his martini and gulped the drink down. The seduction master turned back to the bartender when he felt Burton's presence next to him.

'Uhh Barkeep, another bit of refreshment."

Roan turned back around and staring right at him was this mousy brunette haired woman, with the brightest blue eyes that he had ever seen. "Ahh you must be Agent Burton"

"And you must be…"

Roan held up his hand and wagged his finger in the air.

"No need for exchanging names just yet Ms. Burton. Alright, let's see how much work is ahead of me. Turn around please"

"A case of vodka and scotch from what it smells like." Sarah responded.

"Young lady, I have been one of the top Agents in the field for years, now spin around so I can get back to my drink and then maybe the auburn haired beauty over there."

Jennifer Burton slowly spun around and Roan let his eyes wander.

Roan's eyes narrowed as she faced him. "My dear let's start with your hair. It should be platinum blonde. After that, an all new wardrobe, and some decent make up to match your Sapphire blue eyes. Once we are done I guarantee you will turn every head in this bar. Then, it will be your choice of who you want to sleep with."

"I don't want to get into anyone's bed."

"If you do it right, you won't be in a bed. Now see, I have talked so long my drink is empty. My dear let's have a drink. We need to sit down and have a little talk."

"On how to be a womanizer and a drunk"

"Well, look at the time; I guess this conversation is over."

"Mr. Montgomery, wait. I am sorry. I am taking out my frustrations out on someone who is just trying to help me. I just don't want to do anything I can't live with."

"May I call you Jennifer?" Roan went on before she had a chance to answer. "Jennifer the spy game is not about black and white. You will soon see that it is filled with grays and shadowing. You may even have to go against direct orders to protect her. I do not know what they are teaching at Seduction School these days, but it isn't about sex. In fact, I would say using intercourse to get information would be a failure for me. I just happen to like having sex." Roan got a strange look on his face and said "My dear you do like having sex right."

Sarah could feel the blush right down to her toes, and Roans laughter didn't help. "Yes, I do, but I have to have a connection with the person."

"Well my dear, you need to make you're marks feel like there is a connection. If you can do that, then there will be nothing you can't do."

"There is one thing I need to know?" Sarah asked shyly.

"What's that my dear?"

"Your name good sir"

"Roan, Roan Montgomery"

Sarah ran her hand through her hair, and lowered her voice to where he could barely hear her. "Well Roan, could you teach me, please?"

Roan just smiled and said "Of course….Jennifer Burton I do believe you are a very quick learner."

Sarah laughed, a deep throated laugh, and addressed her newest mentor. "Now that we understand each other, what do I need to know?"

* * *

**20 miles west of The Farm**

Roan Montgomery was staring intently at the woman in front of him. After a few moments he lowered down his sunglasses and said "So, Mrs. Burton after our little swaree at the club yesterday, I got a few things set up to transform plain into the beautiful Agent Jennifer Burton."

Jennifer tensed from the comment before speaking to the man across from her. "What exactly are you talking about? I hate surprises." She was looking around the old warehouse she had been brought to. There were pink curtains hanging around the open area forming cubicles. After she was as familiar as she could be with the room, she looked back at her instructor. Roan gestured for Jennie to stand up and follow him. After she stepped around into the first cubical she saw a sink on the left hand side, and on the other she saw a man about 5'9 standing behind a barber chair. Jennifer stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh I don't think so. I like my hair just the way it is. I thought this was supposed to be about mentally preparing me for this. There is nothing wrong with my appearance."

Roan smiled and let out a "tut tut. Agent Burton there is nothing wrong with your appearance, as long as if you were trying to attract a guy who worked at the Buy More. You will however, be trying to attract stone cold killers, diplomats, and oversexed gigolos. Basically me….So starting right now you will begin to transform into a super spy. Now _Miss _Burton, please sit down in that chair and stop complaining."

20 minutes later

Roan felt a presence behind him. When he turned around a strange look came over his face. Graham could tell it was not going as well as Roan had hoped. "How is it going Roan?" Graham asked.

Roan got an intense look on his face. "Could you please get a recruit that has actual experience with any type of fashion sense next time?"

Graham was going to reply when he heard "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The DDI went to grab his pistol. And Roan got his attention and shook his head. "Bikini wax."

Roan chuckled when he saw the look of sympathetic terror on his bosses face.

An hour later

"Are you kidding me, this skirt only has enough fabric for a toddler!"

5 minutes later

"This is not the French Rivera; I can't walk around with my boobs hanging out."

Roan went around the corner and looked at his student. "Mrs. Burton, Jenny, the girls, are not hanging out. You are just creating a new…focal point for the male of the species."

Once Roan went back to the main area he looked at Graham and said "Next time I need more gin on this type of assignment. Let's go outside and discuss the situation."

Once they made it outside onto the old airfield. He could see hills off in the distance, but the flat area reminded Roan of his old home in New Orleans. Roan cleared his head Emile Deroche only existed in his mind, since no one was alive that knew him by his childhood name. After willing himself to the present he focused and spoke to his boss. "After working with your protégé off and on for the past few days I have come to a couple conclusions."

When Graham just raised an eyebrow to the comment, Roan plowed ahead. "I think Agent Burton will make a fantastic Agent, she is smart, willing to do whatever it takes to get the mission done, and is severely adaptable, but you are going to have to keep an eye on her. This job will always be important to her, but you need to keep a close eye on her. One day something will be more important to her."

"You don't think she could become a traitor do you?" Graham asked.

Roan lowered his glasses to the bridge of his nose and said "Definitely not, but if she falls in love, or if her family needs her. All bets are off." After he finished his thought he used his pointer finger to push his glasses against his face.

When there was a loud creaking sound behind Roan both men's eyes darted to its location. When they found the culprit they saw someone had opened the large hanger door than a few of the team that did the makeover and Jennifer Burton walking toward them

She was a different person. The form fitting clothes, the blond hair. Graham whispered to Roan. "Ya did well. She is gorgeous."

When Burton got to the two men she looked at Roan and said, "Am I going to have to get used to all the starring?"

Just remember Jen, those men are staring at your figure, and the wrapping. This will allow you to use your mind more undetected."

Jennifer Burton slowly nodded. When she looked at Graham she was shocked. In his hand was a small bifold wallet and a folder. Her eyes leapt up from his hand and she looked at the DDI's face.

"Congratulations Agent Burton. Due to your transformation, you will graduate a few days early. We don't was to raise suspicion."

* * *

September 12, 2001—Stanford

8:55 AM

Ellie Bartowski was sitting in the Deans waiting room with Bryce. She was nervous so she was chewing on her inside lip when Bryce leaned in and whispered to her.

"Ellie, do you know what you're going to say?"

"I'm not sure, why?"

"Look I'm not going to lie to you. The Dean is a ball buster."

Ellie just looked at Bryce

"No pun intended, but, while our grades and records are good. The dean, well… she isn't very fond of us."

Ellie took a deep breath and started rubbing her temples. "Why Bryce? Why isn't she fond of you guys?"

Bryce started squirming under Ellie's interrogation. "Well you see every year there's a contest… Between the frat houses…"

"Go on"

"To see… who can pull off the biggest prank."

"And let me guess, you guys won! Do I even want to know what you guys did to win?"

Bryce just shook his head.

Dean Roberta McManus came out of her office and looked at the two people waiting for her.

"Let's get this over with Mr. Larkin" the Dean said as she nodded towards the door.

Once the three of them entered the office the Dean gestured for them to sit.

"Where is your cohort in crime Mr. Larkin?"

Ellie stole a quick glance towards Bryce, whose head dipped and when he went to speak his voice wavered.

"Ma'am"

Ellie took over at that point. "Quiet Bryce. Ma'am my name is Eleanor Bartowski."

"Ahh, so you're the sister slash Doctor"

"Yes Ma'am"

The Dean got up and walked over to her window. "Well since your brother is not here, and you are, I'm assuming this has something to do with him."

Ellie figured the full on approach might be appreciated by the Dean. "Ma'am whatever my brother and Bryce have done is the past. I need you to please look beyond that right now."

"Why should I? Do you know what they did?"

"No Ma'am, however I wouldn't be here if things weren't about to spiral completely out of control."

"Alright Mrs. Bartowski, I will listen with an open mind."

"Ellie, please ma'am."

"Ok Ellie, you have my curiosity peaked."

Ellie took a deep breath. The Dean looked at her and rolled her eyes, while starting to get up. "Mrs. Bartow…Ellie I honestly don't have…"

Ellie interrupted the Dean with a sudden outburst. "MA'AM"

"My brother's fiancé was in the World Trade Center yesterday."

"Excuse me?" The Dean replied startled, and gracefully fell back into her desk chair.

"Ma'am I assure I'm quite serious. His fiancée, Kayla Hart was in Tower number Two, the first building to fall."

The Dean leaned back in her chair and rubbed a hand over her weary face.

"What do you need from me Ellie?"

"Ma'am…." The Dean held up her hand.

"Roberta…..and Mr. Larkin, you are no longer needed. Please wait outside till the adults are finished speaking."

"Yes Ma'am" After Bryce gave the Dean the evil eye; he got up to leave and patted Ellie on the shoulder. "I'll be outside El."

"Roberta, when my parent's left it took Chuck years to recover. What happened yesterday is going to kill my brother. He will shut himself off completely and mourn in his own way. However, I know that he will fail out if that happens."

"We could give him an exemption for the semester, and he could graduate in June."

"Ma'am can you pull his grades and course load up on your computer?"

After the Dean pressed a few keys she looked at Ellie "What do you have in mind?"

Ellie came around the Dean's desk to look at the information with her.

"What are we looking for Ellie?"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry Roberta, how many credits are needed for Chuck to finish and graduate with his degree?"

"Well let's see." Roberta scanned through the pages. Your brother, it seems, only needs two classes to complete his actual degree, the rest were electives. Technically, he has more than enough credits to graduate; he just needs to pass those classes."

"Roberta, would it be possible to see if the work Chuck has done up till now, because these are continuing classes would be enough to pass him thru so we could just award him his degree."

"That would be unprecedented, you understand that Ellie."

"Yes, Ma'am I do, however this whole situation is unprecedented. No one has ever attacked us on our own soil like this."

"Ellie, give me a few days to discuss this with Chuck's teachers and the President of the school. I will get back to you. I won't promise anything, but I will do everything I can."

"Thank you, Roberta."

Ellie turned to leave when she was stopped by a question.

"Mrs. Bartowski, by the way, where is your brother?"

Ellie looked down at the carpet and sighed, "Chuck is as loyal as he is stubborn. He left for New York to…do something."

"Eleanor, I know this is a difficult time but are you ok? You look like you could use a drink and a laugh"

"The drink most defiantly, I don't know if I have it in me right now to laugh."

Roberta got up and went to a small bar and made her a small drink. She then proceeded to sit down next to Ellie and tell her how one beautiful Monday morning she walked into the quad and saw that Bryce and Chuck had removed all of her furniture and belongings, and placed them in the quad just how they belonged in her office.

A few moments later, Ellie emerged from the Dean's office as the weight of the day and the week finally, and completely, hit her. Bryce had looked up when he heard the door open. He saw Ellie's lip quivering and the color leaving her face. He raced to her, just as she collapsed to the floor, wracked with sobs for her brother.

Now, the only thing she could do was wait for her family to call and let them know they were ok.

* * *

September 13, 2001

After driving the last two days straight across the country, Devon, Chuck and Morgan crossed into New Jersey.

They had only stopped for gas and food and always got the food to go. They had taken turns sleeping in the back seat throughout the drive.

"According to Ellie's directions, we just head up I-95 and cross into the city using the George Washington Bridge."

"Then what Chuck?" Devon asked.

Morgan had been asleep for six hours; they had all taken turns driving across the country.

"We go to the site and help any way that we can."

Devon took a glance back to make sure Morgan was still asleep. "Chuck, I got that, but I mean what are you going to do when we're done here?"

Chuck shook his head, and quietly responded "I don't know Devon, but nothing will ever be the same again."

Devon looked over at Chuck and a worried look came over his face.

"Look Devon, I know you guys think I'm not seeing reality. In my mind, I know she died. But my heart just won't accept it. If we help recover even one person, that family can have peace. Then damn it, it will be worth it."

'Chuck, I get that, just know that Ellie and I will always be there for you."

Both men looked at each other acknowledging how much they had bonded over the past couple of days. It ended with a soft snore from the back seat bringing them both out of the reverie.

"Thanks Devon, I really needed to hear that."

Chuck glanced up the road ahead and warned Devon, "Heads up, the bridge is just ahead."

As the lone Mustang roared over the hill of I-95 and the GWB came into view, they both noticed the smoke slightly emerging from across the Hudson River.

They both said a silent prayer as they were approaching the bridge. The skyline looked dramatically different, so different in fact, that they both almost didn't notice the Marine standing in front of the bridge ordering them to stop.

Three other Marines came out of nowhere guns leveled on the mustang.

Devon slammed on the brakes so hard that Morgan slammed into the back of their seats.

"Oww what the…"

"Shh" was all Chuck said with his arms up as high as he could put them in the car.

"Alright the three of you out of the car right now! Nice and slow!" the first Marine spoke.

Chuck and Morgan got out of the car with their hands up in the air. They slowly turned around and placed them on the roof of the car, with their legs spread apart. The 2nd Marine came around behind them followed by the third Marine who covered his partner as the 1st patted Chuck and Morgan down.

"Dude, were not even d…" Morgan stared to say as Chuck, interrupted him "Morgan, now is not the time."

Devon got out of the car and the 4th Marine came over and patted him down.

The original Marine came back up to Devon, and spoke loudly "State your Business?"

"We drove here all the way from Burbank, Ca to help with the recovery effort."

"I'm sorry, but we aren't letting anyone over right now that is not essential personnel."

"NOW WAIT A MINUTE" Chuck yelled as his hands came off the roof of the car.

"STAND DOWN!" the soldiers yelled.

"Chuck, quiet man" Morgan pleaded.

"NO. I. WILL. NOT." Chuck was getting more agitated.

"SIR! I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF, STAND DOWN. PLACE YOUR HANDS BACK ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR!" The Marine yelled again.

"Chuck, please let me handle this" Devon spoke up.

Devon turned to the 1st soldier "Listen soldier"

"It's Sgt. Nelson"

"Sgt. Nelson I am a trauma certified Cardiothoracic Surgeon. My two friends are good with their hands, and we came all this way just to help."

The Sgt. Held up his hands and simple replied "I am sorry sir, but we have no choice. Orders are orders."

Devon looked over at Chuck, who was getting more impatient. "Sgt. Nelson, can I talk to you in private?"

Devon took the man to the side just out of hearing distance. All Chuck saw was some hand waving and the Sgt, looking over at him.

"Look, My future bother in law over there… well… his fiancée was in the South Tower. We know she didn't make it, but look, we just want to help. You are still finding people right. I am a Dr. Look; I can give some of the EMT's and medics a break, and take over for them. We will only stay until it becomes a recovery process.

"Son, the search process ended yesterday, when the found the last civilian alive at 12:30 PM. We are in the recovery phase now."

"Well, we'd still like to help."

The Sgt. took a step away and made a call. As the Sgt. stepped away Devon couldn't help but notice how the 6 foot 6 soldier looked like he was about to collapse. The man towered over both him and Chuck and just as he was about to ask him if he needed any help when he came back over to Devon.

"This pass is good until tomorrow. Anyone with a blue tag on is medical. You can relive anyone with one of these tags on. These yellow tags are for your friends. They will get them to relieve any of the workers there now. Remember this is officially a recovery operation now."

"Make sure you all wear masks, and put Vicks by your nose to help with smell. It's not something you will ever want to remember. Grab a set of safety goggles and gloves from our truck as well."

"The site is not pretty, and be careful. A jeep will meet you on the other side of the bridge. They will escort you to the disaster site."

"Thank you very much" Devon replied.

"No. Thank you guys for volunteering."

"Before we leave, do you need me to take a look at you? You look like you're walking gingerly and could collapse any moment."

"No, thank you sir, I was in there for the last two days and I am just worn out, but the process is just starting, some sleep and I'll be fine."

The Sgt. walked over to Chuck and shook his hand. "I'm awfully sorry son for your loss. Be careful in there, and may God be with you."

"Thank you, sir." Chuck replied saluting the man who would be protecting everyone's future in a few short months. The soldier did the same.

The three men got back into the car and proceeded across the bridge. Chuck just stared out the window were the towers once stood. He was just realizing that all his hopes and dreams for a happy future were now part of the rubble along with the towers. That was when he made up his mind on where he was going with his future.

Devon grabbed his cell and called Ellie to let her know where they were, and that they had made it.

As they were driving down the normally overly populated streets, they just watched as the cleanup was under way with the street cleaners.

They followed the jeep to the disaster site. As they got to the site, they saw fire trucks, police cars and ambulances and an assortment of military vehicles all over. They also saw a few construction vehicles.

They got out of the car, and the smell hit them immediately. It was the smell of burnt concrete, metal, and flesh.

The second thing to hit them was the residual heat from the structure that was still eminent in the air. They immediately had to adjust their clothing to accommodate for the strength of the heat they were experiencing.

Corporeal LeCompte rushed over to them to make sure they had Vicks under their noses, and had their masks and goggles on.

He took Devon to the medical area so he could relieve a doctor or two, as Chuck and Morgan grabbed hard hats.

As they joined the recovery process Chuck and Morgan had to carefully make their way thru a mine field of rubble and debris, melted pieces of steel and Chuck shuttered at what else he was stepping on that was incinerated in the fire. They joined the hundreds of volunteers from Ironworkers to structural engineers, Boilermakers, Carpenters, EMT"S, Machinists, Plumbers, truckers, teamsters, The American Red Cross volunteers, and other workers. Before the recovery process was called off, more than eighty two bodies had been found among the rubble.

Over the next twenty four hours Devon had treated many smoke inhalations and burn patients Plus, lots of severe dehydration. He went to find Chuck so they could get ready to leave and head back to Burbank. He finally found Morgan, who lifted his arm to Devon's chest in order to get him to stop.

"Let him have a moment." He pointed over to where Chuck was. Devon could barely make out Chuck on his knees in front of the mangled structure where the American flag still stood proudly, as if defying someone to tear it down. Devon had to squint his eyes to see what Chuck was doing because he had to look thru a mass of volunteers and workers who had gathered around Chuck. They were standing with their backs turned to him almost protecting him, giving him space as he grieved for the one who he had lost. They all felt something for the young man, for they were all brothers now. Brothers who had come together in a horrible time to help one another out.

Chuck was on his knees crying. While the sobs were coming through him in waves, Chuck just couldn't find a way to make them stop. His chest heaving, he knew that at least in this moment, right now, he had to get everything off his chest. Once they left the site, Chuck had made his mind up that he would never show weakness again in front of his friends or loved ones. He would be there rock. A few seconds later, Chuck got up and pulled the picture of his Fiancée Kayla Hart and placed it on the victim's wall. He placed his hand over it and one over his heart and made a vow to make the people in this world that would still do heinous things pay? He placed his fingers on his lips one last time and kissed them and slowly, agonizingly, he placed those very same fingers over her smiling face and vowed that she would never be far from his thoughts. A few moments later he felt a hand clasp his shoulder.

Devon had almost cautiously made his way threw the volunteers towards Chuck. He placed his hand on Chucks shoulder and simply asked "You ready to go bro?"

Wiping his eyes Chuck replied "Yeah let's get out of here" and he started walking backwards stealing one last glance at the rubble that changed his life forever.

* * *

A/n 2: I just wanted to give you a personal account for what i saw on Sept 13, 2001. I went up there with a few of my EMT, fire, and construction friends to help. Even though i had this personal loss i just couldn't not go up and help out. Now, when we got there the military was there, but they were letting people over to help. It wasn't quite as dramatic as it is in the story, however they did start turning people away shortly after we arrived. The view from going across the bridge was horrible. You don't feel the magnitude of what happened until you are there and those once tall buildings are gone. As anyone who lived in New York can tell you, the smell and residual heat was intense. You could not walk a foot without ash flying all over you. The smell was not just of burnt steel and paper and rubble, but the smell of flesh lasted for days. Even though the bodies on the top floor burned up, the ones that didn't and that were crushed as the towers fell were still on fire. Everywhere you walked you had to be careful to make sure that you didn't fall thru a covered up hole in the ground. The masks didn't cover up the smell nor did they stop you from inhaling the particulates in the air. I have seen my share of horrible things over the years, But the time there will be with me for the rest of my life.

I also remind myself often this is what our soldiers see on the front lines in battles over in Afghanistan and in Iraq every day. Thank you for what you do.

I just want to commend Congress and the President (who would have thought I'd ever do that) for signing the bill allowing the government to take care of the medical costs associated and accrued by all the men and women who traveled from afar and from there in New York City, who helped in the rescue and recovery efforts. We all salute you.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait on this one. Real life got in the way. Between rehabbing my knee and my 10 month old daughter getting the whole house sick, this should have been up last week. so i apologize. A few matters of business. First things to my amazing beta Bdadddyl. He pust up with my constant im's and emails over changing things and adding them. Second to Armyscifi, and Seajay28. You guys are the best and thanks for the help. To Michael66 thanks for pushing me to get this out and for helping me with my what i was struggling on. Thereisanother you made some valid points so im going to leave what i do next up to you all the readers. but more on that in second. I also need to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorite, and put on watch this story. Without you guys this would not be done. And finally to NickyR, not only for her great reviews but for giving me the kick in the pants i needed when i was down in the dumps with my rehab. just to let you know i hit my goal that the doctors and my pt didn't think i could meet 135 ROM. (well they just said thats the max to get but i should settle and be happy with 125). Now to my poll. it seems a few readers have problems with Sarah in this story. so wold it b better if i just do 1 chapter of Chuck, then the next a seperate for Sarah? or should i leave it the way it is. i am envisioning 4 or 5 chapters before they are in the same time frame. so its up to you the reader. is it to confusing the way it is now or shoud i leave it? thanks for all your support and please review.

* * *

**Chuck**

**September 15, 2001 outside Temple, Texas**

It had been 2 days since they had left New York, and it had also been two days since Devon or Morgan heard a word coming from them. All he did was sit and stare outside the passenger side window.

They had spent the night in Kentucky, taking their time driving back to L.A. They had just entered Texas as Devon glanced over at his brother. Well soon to be brother in law anyway, but he already considered him to be his brother. Chuck just stared straight out of the window with his head against the glass.

As Devon drove he looked around the car and saw that Morgan and Chuck were both asleep. He picked up his phone and pressed the first speed dial button on it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Devon, how's it going?"

"Hey babe" Devon ran his hand thru his hair and took a deep breathe.

"It's going as well as could be expected"

"How has he been any change in Chuck?"

"No, we threw out our clothes that we used when working at the site. , He will sleep, and he will eat, but that's it. He doesn't respond to either one of us"

"How are you guys holding up back there?"

"Well his Landlord will let him out of his lease, with no repercussions. The school will not just give him his degree, but the Dean said the work he has done will automatically get him a B in one class, but the other he will have to test out of the other class to graduate. They will give him three years to make that happen."

"That's great babe now we just need to convince him to do it."

"Devon I know you told me last night what it was like there, but do you honestly believe that he will recover from this?"

"I don't know Ell. But we will help him every step of the way. We may all need help after this; maybe a psychiatrist can help him."

There was a pause in the conversation.

Let's just get you back and we can worry about that later, I love you Devon."

"Love you to El."

"You know I'm not going crazy." Devon's head swiveled quickly as Chuck's voice appeared from no where. "I have just been sorting my life out. Where I fit in, and where I belong now that I've lost the only person aside from you guys who mattered to me."

Devon continued to stare at Chuck. After a minute or two Chuck spoke again. "Devon can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Chuck, what is it?'

"How long would it take you to get me into shape?"

"Now you want to get into shape?"

"Devon I am being serious, how long would it take you to come up with a training regimen to get me in top physical shape?"

Devon took a deep breath and looked up, thinking, when he asked Chuck another question. "Well are you going for body builder or for soldier?"

"Let's just say soldier for now." Chuck didn't want to let too much of his plan out yet.

"Well honestly I know exactly what kind of regimen I'd do."

In week one I would start of with a little running and some more walking, then some stomach exercises. For Monday and Wednesday I would also work to tone your arm muscles, with a bit of chest exercises. On Friday I would increase the cardio.

Than every week after that I would increase the distance, and start sprinting after week 5. In 4 months I think I could have you sprinting/ running 2 miles, plus a lot of push ups and sit ups.

"Wow Devon, you have really given this some thought haven't you?"

"Chuck" Devon said trying not to crack a smile this just wasn't the time. "I have been waiting for the day that you would ask me to help you get in shape. I know Ka…" Devon almost slipped up and put his foot in his mouth.

"Devon, it's ok. We are not going to pretend that she didn't exist."

Devon sighed and continued. "I know that she liked you the way you are. At the end of the day bro, there is honestly nothing wrong with your body. Although… There is so much potential."

"Well we are going to tap that. You will have six months to get me in shape, can you do it?"

After thinking a bit more Devon nodded his head "If you follow my regimen devotedly, then yes we might be able to. Why? What is in six months?"

"Now your regimen was only cardio and endurance, what about strength and conditioning?" Chuck asked.

"That will come we need to get your cardio up, and get your body in shape to be able to handle what we are going to do to it. The strength will be easy once that's achieved."

"Chuck, why are we even talking about this?"

Chuck glanced back to make sure Morgan was still asleep and ran a hand thru his hair.

In shaky breath Chuck began to speak. "Devon, I've…I've decided to join the police academy. I am going to be a cop."

"Whoa Chuck, listen man, this is the grief talking."

"No Devon, in all honesty it's always been a lingering thought in the back of my mind. We sit here and complain about all the crime and that no one does anything. We moan that the city and the police department can't protect everyone, like they want to."

"Then when something horrible happens, we just complain. Everyone complains. But, and I know this will sound stupid. What if even just one man getting off the couch can make a difference?"

"Chuck listen man, Ellie went to the Dean. All you need to do is test out of one class. Just take the test and you can have your degree and have a safe smart future."

"NO!"

"Chuck, you need to talk to Ellie about this."

"NO! I will not and neither will you until I'm ready to make the announcement."

"Chuck I'm marrying her, I will not lie to her."

"Devon just listen and hear me out ok."

Devon nodded for Chuck to continue.

Chuck ran his hand thru his hair again and started "Look, I like helping people, I always have, you know that. I want to make the streets and world safer for well, my nieces and nephews, and their children's, children. The only way to do that is by helping, not sitting on the couch yelling at the TV and being scared. Look Devon, in all honesty I can be shot walking into a convenience store, or getting on a bus. I could get killed just getting into a cab. Wouldn't it be better to be killed protecting someone, or just to help them. If I can make a difference in just one life, then an entire career however long or short it could be, would be worth it."

"Chuck what about your children? Someday…"

"No Devon, I thought that was in the cards once but not now. I will, however, settle for being a half way descent uncle."

"The best" Devon said patting Chuck on the shoulder. Chuck was gazing out of the car window when something caught his eye.

"Devon, turn right!"

"What Chuck?"

"Turn right now" Chuck leaned over and grabbed the wheel jerking it hard.

Morgan's head slammed against the side of the car "Owwww"

"What the hell is going on?'

"Chuck's gone crazy" Devon replied as he slammed on the breaks.

"Now, why did you want to do that?"

"Look" Chuck pointed at the sign. _Skydiving Just Ahead._

"YOU want to go skydiving?" Devon asked. "The man who has refused me at every turn to do anything like this."

"Not anymore, I need something to make me feel alive again. Let's see what it can do?"

Devon knew this was crazy but he drove to the airfield. He wasn't even sure if the FAA had allowed flights to recommence over the United States yet, let alone a skydiving plane.

Morgan sat back and rubbed his eyes while his mind was still reeling from what he just heard. "Chuck, you who are afraid of heights, you want to go skydiving?"

Chuck turned back around and looked at Morgan. "Buddy, all I know is that I am empty inside." Pounding on his chest "I feel nothing and I need to feel something, or why else should i continue to live?"

Devon slammed on the breaks to the car once again and swiveled around to face Chuck. "Dude don't let me hear you talk like that again. It would destroy your sister if she heard you talk like that" Devon broke in.

"Yeah, and you know that Kayla would kill you if she ever heard you talk like that" Morgan winced after he realized what he said. Chuck bowed his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Great job Morgan." Devon muttered under his breath.

Just as Morgan was about to apologize again, Devon pulled into the Caddo Mills airport and followed the signs towards the North Texas Skydiving Center. A few moments later they were there.

After they pulled up Chuck got out and stretched and took in the warm air and looked out at the airfield. He saw a plane loading up with eight skydivers getting ready for takeoff.

Devon walked around to Chuck and asked one final time "Are you sure that you want to do this? I won't think any less of you if you decide not to do it."

Chuck shrugged off his jacket and started towards the doors to the flight center. "You coming?"

"Hey Morgan are you coming?" Devon turned and asked him?"

Morgan looked at Devon and then his eyes led a quick trail to his feet. "Devon, I will do anything for Chuck, but jumping out of a perfectly good airplane is something that I just cannot do."

"No problem little buddy. Hey can you hold the car keys and my cell for me?"

"Sure no problem, I'll be watching you guys from here."

Chuck and Devon walked into the hanger and were greeted by one of the flight instructors.

One hour later, after having gone thru the safety lectures and training sessions on the ground, Devon and Chuck were boarding the plane with five other jumpers and the instructors. Chuck was going to have to go tandem since it was his first jump, while Devon, a veteran of 4 previous jumps, was going solo for the first flight.

Chuck's instructor went over last minute instructions to Chuck. He reminds him that the red light over the bay doors will go green once they hit 14,000ft and the pilot deems it safe for them to drop. Chuck nods his head and chucks his gear one more time before adjusting his goggles.

Then the moment arrived. Chuck, because he is the only tandem jump on this flight, was going last. Devon gave Chuck a high five, and dove out of the plane. Chuck and the instructor step up to the door.

Once they start to lean out the door, Chuck felt the wind on his face. That's when the instructor pushes them off. At first the feeling of weightlessness overtakes Chuck. That is until Chuck opens his eyes. He sees the clouds and the other sky divers performing stunts throughout the air. The instructor pulls Chucks arms back and they increase speed and glide over to the other divers. Chuck gives Devon a thumb's up. His adrenaline is increasing every second; the rate of their fall is rapidly increasing the closer they come to the earth. The instructor tugs on Chucks arm and points to the altimeter on his wrist. He then puts up the number four in fingers meaning that they will pull the shoot in 400 ft. They had just hit 3400 feet. During Chucks class he learned that 2600 feet was the absolute latest to pull the cord.

Across the sky Devon just can't stop smiling. While he is enjoying the dive, it is Chuck that is keeping the smile plastered to his face. Chuck looked like a different person. There was a light in his eye, as well as an expression that was just Chuck; the Chuck that disappeared on 911.

Ten seconds later Chuck felt the pull of the chute opening and their descent slowing as the chute fully deploys and they are pulled up as the air fills the chute. Once the chute is fully deployed Chuck watched the instructors hand movements on the toggles as he directed them towards the big X marked on the ground. The whole flight down was only taking around a total of ten minutes. In those ten minutes Chuck had felt more alive than he had in days. He made up his mind that he needed one more jump to kick start his heart again.

A few moments later they touched down. Morgan was running out to them and Devon was already pulling in his chute and came over to Chuck who was unlatching himself from his instructor.

Devon reached Chuck first and they clasped hands together. "So how did you like it bro?"

"Devon, it was like nothing I ever imagined it was amazing. God the adrenaline rush you get once you get away from the plane my god I want to go once more by myself."

"Well you have to wait at least a half hour, to get your balance back, but we can grab some water and get ready for the next jump. We also need to recheck our gear."

Forty five minutes later Devon and Chuck were boarding the plane again while Morgan stayed behind with the car.

Morgan had borrowed a pair of binoculars and was following the plane as Devon's cell phone went off.

Without even looking at the number on the screen and ignoring the fact that it wasn't even his phone, Morgan answered it.

"Hello"

"Morgan, why are you answering Devon's phone?"

"Umm well, Devon is a little preoccupied at the moment."

"Preoccupied with what? Morgan where are you guys?"

Morgan was about to respond when he saw Chuck and Devon dive out of the plane. Morgan placed the phone down and picked the binoculars back up.

"Morgan! Morga! Pick the phone back up Morgan!"

Morgan saw Chuck and Devon doing a tandem like performance. They were free falling in the air and spinning around grabbing one another by the ankles and floating into different positions when Devon signaled to Chuck that it was almost time to pull his chute.

"Morgan! Pick up the damn phone NOW!"

Morgan was brought back out of his reverie and picked the phone up. "Hey, sorry Ellie."

"Morgan, where are my fiancé and brother?"

"Well you see…. There was this sign, and Chuck wanted to stop"

"Morgan, stop the babbling and tell me what's going on"

"Skydiving" Morgan replied meekly slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Skydiving? Morgan you better give me a better explanation then that."

Morgan noticed something different about Chuck's descent, so he had to quickly get off the phone.

"Uh Ellie, I will have them call you back when they land. I got to go."

"Moragn wai….click"

Morgan was watching as Devon opened up his chute and he was watching Chuck when Chuck angled his body down and stream lined himself like a bullet. He had just passed 2900 feet and was still falling.

Devon shouted "Chuck pull your chute, pull it now" but over the roar of the wind it was almost impossible to hear him. He counted the feet as he was watching Chuck fall faster and faster to the earth.

Chuck was enjoying the rush and wanted the feeling to last a little longer when he glanced at his altimeter and saw that it was approaching 2500 feet, he pulled his chute and felt it deploy jerking his body back up into the air.

Chuck grabbed the toggles and glided himself down. His landing a little rough, but he got up quickly and was dusting himself off when he heard Devon coming to him yelling at him.

"Chuck, if you ever do that again, we are never going up again. Do you hear me?" Devon yelled at him as one of the instructors was just shaking his head at him.

"Devon, I'm sorry but did you see me, it was amazing. Man I felt like a bird it was great."

Just as Devon was about to respond, Morgan came jogging up to them.

"Hey guys, did you enjoy that? You know Chuck, you scared the hell out of me" Morgan asked.

"Morgan, man next time you need to come with us. If Bryce were here I know he would have. Let me tell you, that was completely fing amazing."

"Dude. man, when did you become so fearless? Even I won't do that?" Devon replied.

"Devon, when you have lost everything in your life, there just isn't much you won't do or try anymore. Come on, let's get back to the car; we can still get some driving in before this afternoon. I'd like to stay somewhere over night."

Morgan started looking around making sure not to make eye contact with either of his two companions. "Uhh, speaking things you won't do anymore, Ellie wants you to call her back."

"Morgan, what did you tell her?"

"Uhh well" Morgan replied as he now found his shoe laces fascinating.

"Morgan!" Chuck's voice was starting to get higher and angrier. "What did you tell Ellie?"

"All I said was just that you made us stop abruptly when you saw a sign, and then you and Devon went….."

"Dammit Morgan, why can't you just keep your mouth shut."

"Look, Chuck I'm worried about you, we all are, this isn't you man."

"This isn't me; Morgan the Chuck you knew died 3 days ago. This is the new and improved Chuck, either deal with it, or find a new way home. Devon let's get out of here."

Devon took the keys from the roof and glanced back at Morgan. He was looking into the distance, not focusing at all; looking like his dog had just died. Devon muttered under his breath, "Not awesome."

Morgan climbed into the back seat and just stayed quiet.

Chuck knew he had been hard on him, but he didn't need Ellie coming down on him right now.

45 minutes later Devon's phone started ringing again and it kept ringing till it went to voicemail. Devon glanced down at the caller id and saw that it was Ellie.

"Chuck man we can't keep dodging her calls."

Chuck rolled the window down reached over and picked up the phone and chucked it out the window. "Problem solved."

"Damn it, that was my phone Chuck."

"I'll get you a new one, when we get back. Look we just got into the New Mexico leg of this trip and we still have Arizona before we get back into California. Let's get a motel for the night and we can finish the drive tomorrow." Chuck threw out there.

"Alright Chuck, I need to call Ellie back anyway." Devon responded.

"You ok with that little buddy?" Devon asked Morgan.

Morgan nodded his head, but kept silent.

Roughly twenty minutes later they pulled up into a Red Roof Inn and got a room for the night. While Devon went to the gym to work out and Morgan was getting some ice, Chuck grabbed a small backpack out of his duffle and threw a few pieces of clothing and some essentials and placed it inside his jacket.

Just as Morgan came back into the room Chuck grabbed him by the shoulders. "Listen little buddy, I am sorry I yelled at you earlier, I just don't want Ellie worrying about me."

"Hey it's ok, these are stressful times.'

"No, it's not ok. You didn't have to come with me. You are losing money not working, and this is a debt I'll never be able to repay."

"Chuck, hey we are brothers, always have been, always will be."

The two men hugged and the Morgan jumped on the bed and flipped on the TV. "Chuck, Dune is on the sci fi channel. It's the extended David Lynch cut."

"Cool Morgan, we will watch it when I get back; just need to get some air."

"Ok" Morgan replied popping open the can of grape soda he got from the vending machine.

Chuck grabbed his jacket and bag and headed out the door. He took the elevator knowing Devon would use the stairs for the extra workout. Once outside the hotel Chuck backtracked his way 2 miles towards the way they came in. On the drive in he saw what looked like a Ducati S4R for sale on the side of the road. He stopped at a Bank that was just getting ready to close up, and got the money that he would need to make the offer for the bike.

Close to an hour later Chuck arrived at a Spanish style Adobe rancher. Its red clay roof highlighted by the fading rays of the sun. Chuck walked up to the man's doorstep and knocked on the door.

"May I help you?" A grey haired, slightly frail looking woman answered the door. When he looked at her, he envisioned what other peoples grandparents must look like.

"Yes Ma'am I was curious to inquire about the bike that you have for sale?"

"Certainly young man let me get my husband, would you mind waiting outside?"

"No, Ma'am, not at all, please take your time."

Chuck could hear the woman from behind the door yelling for her husband. "Saul can you come to the door, there is a young man at the door inquiring about the motorcycle."

"Be right there Martha"

Chuck rocked back and forth on his heels with his hands in his pockets blowing out a puff of air as the door creaked open.

A Burly man of 6'6 who stood just a shade taller than Chuck walked out wiping his hands on a rag and tucked it into his back pocket. He then extended his calloused, knarled hand with a grip like a vice towards Chuck.

"Saul Matthews, nice to meet you." He said while shaking Chuck's hand.

"Charles Bartowski Sir, nice to meet you."

"So what can I do for you Charles?"

Chuck raised his hand and simply replied "My friends call me Chuck."

"Ok Chuck, what can I do for you?'

"I am truly sorry for bothering you, but I just drove into town a while ago and I saw the bike for sale. I was wondering if I might take a look at it."

Saul rubbed his hand across the back of his neck and looked Chuck up and down. He shifted the toothpick in his mouth to the other side and spoke up. "Son, please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever ridden a bike before?"

"Yeah a few times right before I got into college, but I got in an accident, and my sister wouldn't let me ride anymore."

Saul stepped off the porch and walked across the yard to the bike in question.

"This bike belonged to my son. He died six months ago out in Baja during an off road race. He was riding ATV's with his friends, and as he came over a hill he slammed into a cart car. He flew off the bike into the cart dying instantly. This bike reminds my wife of him every day, so that's why it's for sale."

"I am sorry for your loss sir." Chuck replied as he ran a finger over the classic lines of the bike.

"It's been modified, and is probably worth at least eight to ten grand."

Chuck ran his hand under his chin and looked up into the sky.

Saul looked at the young man and saw a little of his son in him. He just looked like a man at the end of one story, and the beginning of another.

"What's your story? Obviously you have a ride if you drove past here. Why the interest of the bike?"

Chuck swung his leg over the bike and straddled it. It was a perfect fit. He gripped the handle bars and squeezed the brakes.

He took a deep breath and spoke softly. "Three days ago, the love of my life died. She died in a needless and cowardly way. These sons of bitches took over a plane and flew it into the building she was doing business in."

Saul took a step towards Chuck and placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder. He now knew what he saw in Chuck. A kindred spirit of his dearly departed son.

Chuck looked up and into the man's eyes. He could see pain and sadness and tried to shift the focus back on the bike.

"So…. Umm about the bike? I have taken all of my savings, minus the amount to get back home; I can offer $3800 for it." Chuck pulled a wad of Cash out from his pockets. Saul raised his hand to Chuck to stop but Chuck kept rambling anyway. "I know it's far below what it is worth, but I figured I'd give it a shot."

"Son, just stop. I'll accept $2000 for it, but you have to make me a promise, and than answer a question for the agreement to be official."

Chuck just stood there and nodded as his eyes got wide. Chuck took a deep breath and forced himself not to speak in order to listen to the older gentle man in front of him.

Saul saw the pain emanating from Chuck's eyes and went ahead with the disturbing question he just had to ask. "You're not trying to kill yourself are you?"

"Excuse me?" Chuck asked shocked.

"You won't take this bike and drive it off a cliff, or run it into another vehicle, to get you back to your lost loved one will you?"

"Sir, I promise you that I will not try to end my life prematurely. I have a plan for what I am going to do, and the best way to go about it. Right now though I just need to get away for a few days and get my head and my heart together. A few solitary days in the desert should do just that."

"Then I have two promises that I need you to make."

"Ok, shoot

"First let your party know the basics of what you are doing, and then either promise to stay in touch with them or me and my wife until you get home and yes I know you seem like a stable person, going thru the tragedy that you have 'm just making sure that you are thinking straight."

"And two?" Chuck asked.

Saul took a deep breath and his gaze slowly landed on Chuck "You promise to allow love back into your life when the time is right."

"Saul, the first one is easy; I can and will do that. Number two, well that may never happen, but if it does, I will do my best."

"Fair enough, come inside, I will get you the registration and let's talk with my wife for a few minutes."

Chuck followed the man inside.

Two hours later Chuck straddled the black Ducati S4r and started her up. The engine roared to life and Chuck took off back down the street to the Hotel. He pulled in and went to the front desk.

As he was walking towards the front desk Chuck noticed the woman sitting behind it. Not much more then 19, maybe still in college. She was a cute girl, short blond hair, pale features and grey eyes, any other time he would have thought she was attractive, but now he just needed some help. "Excuse me miss?"

"Yes sir, how can I help you?"

"Can I bother you for a pen and a piece of paper?"

"Of course, here you go"

"Thank you" Chuck replied and he started to leave a message for Morgan and Devon.

_Morgan and Devon,_

_Thanks for everything you have done for me. I know sneaking away is going to make you guys mad, but I just need some alone time by myself before I return to Stanford and I guess Burbank. Please don't let Ellie worry too much; I will be home in a few days. I have purchased my own transportation and I will call if I need anything. Guys take care and thank you again._

_Chuck_

Chuck folded the paper up and asked the desk attendant for one more favor.

"Excuse me miss, but can I bother you for just a moment more?"

"Of course how can I help you?"

"Can you please leave this message for room 515 and in about an hour notify them that they have a message."

"Certainly sir, anything else?"

"No ma'am. Have a good night."

Chuck walked back out to his bike and started her up. He put on his helmet and drove off towards the desert in Arizona.

* * *

**SARAH**

**November 1999 somewhere in the Sudan**

For the last two months Special Agent Jennifer Burton had worked her way in to the servant's work force for Sheik Alhaw Dvrivut. Before arriving for this mission Jenny had to work on her accent and transform her slightly tanned skin and bright sapphire eyes to that of someone from the region. Jenny went to the CIA costume shop and got her hair dyed jet black to better blend in with the locals. She had her skin tanned to make her of a more Middle Eastern descent and had color contacts to change her eyes to a dark seductive brown.

Once Jenny had infiltrated the servants quarters she tried to remain in the background observing and learning the patterns in which the harem women are treated and how the guards and security men went about their day. Her mission was to get into the sheiks personal safe in his room and get the data disks out.

On her second week inside the palace, Jenny found out that a new Harem girl had been brought in when the sheik had returned from his most recent trip from Las Vegas, Nevada.

The servants were not permitted to speak with anyone on the staff or the harem unless they were approached first and asked a direct question. For the next several days Jenny watched Courtney Lockhart's behavior. She had found out from the other servants that Ms Lockhart had been brought here about six months ago. At first she seemed into the whole harem deal, but over the last few weeks she had started trying to separate herself from everyone else. That had brought some punishment from the Sheik and an opportunity for Jenny

Courtney had been staying away from the other women of the harem, so Jenny took it upon herself to ask her if she needed any water.

Jenny walked up and bowed and simply asked "Any water miss?"

Courtney barely looked up and slowly nodded before looking back down and tending to her wrist. Jenny noticed that there were rope burns on both of her wrists, and offered a clean wet piece of cloth for the burns.

"Ttthhhank you" Courtney took the cloth with slow tentative grasp.

"The guards started their way over to them and looked on curiously. Jenny bowed politely and went to grab some more water to offer to the other guests of the Sheik.

A few moments later the guards came over and grabbed Jenny roughly by the arm and took her to the Sheiks office.

They roughly threw her to the ground and as Jennie looked around and scrambled to her knees and bowed her head she caught the fact that the Sheik was getting up from his desk and that there were four other men in the room with guns.

"You girl what is your name?"

Jenny took a few moments and that slowness earned her a back handed slap across the cheek from the Sheik.

"Cow I asked you a question what is your name?"

Slowly getting back to her knees and rubbing her cheek and letting a few tear drops fall Jenny responded "I I am sorry your majesty. My name is Ellia Ruv Catwarns." Jenny bowed her head to make sure the Sheik saw that she was sorry.

"Get up"

"Now the woman that asked for your help tending to her bruises early is one of my wives. She has asked that you be her personal servant."

"Do you understand what that entails?"

Jenny just shook her head no.

The Sheik shook his head and looked to the other men "Where do we find these people."

"It means that if my wife wants to go to the store, you will accompany her and carry her bags. If she wants a snack at anytime day or night you will tend to her. When she needs a bath you will make sure everything is handled appropriately. Do we have an understanding?"

"Jenny bowed her head and merely nodded yes careful not to make eye contact with the Sheik.

The Sheik dismissed her with a wave of his hand and the guards dragged her back out of the chambers. However she did take notice of where all the paintings were on the walls in case that's where the safe was hidden.

For the next few weeks Jenny did everything asked of her and waited to find her moment to see if she could convince the wife to help her. One afternoon, while in the dress shops Jenny was sent to find a different color for a dress size. When she came back to the dressing rooms, Courtney was on the floor crying.

"Oh, I am sorry..." Sniff "I didn't want anyone to see me like this."

Jenny lowered her eyes, and preformed a slight bow, "its ok madam. Is there anything I can do?"

"Not unless you have a time machine and can send me back to Nevada before all this crazy mess got started."

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry; when I came here I had no idea about this harem. I just thought this rich handsome business man wanted to show me around and have me with him for a few weeks." Courtney leaned back, closed her eyes and tilted her face to the ceiling. "Pretty dumb huh?"

"No madam, not dumb, you were just thinking with your heart. We all find ourselves doing things we regret after we do them, but can we learn from them?" Jenny replied.

"Well I am sorry for burdening you; please don't tell anyone about this."

"No worries madam, it shall remain between us." Jenny leaned in close and whispered "If you are serious about getting out, I can help. Just let me know." And with that, the seed was planted.

One excruciating long week later, on their next shopping excursion, Courtney handed Jenny some clothes to put back, and as Jenny did that she found a crumpled up note inside one of the shirts.

_If you were serious, I want to go home. I'll do anything._

_Got ya_. Jenny thought to herself.

Jenny went back into the stall and with a fresh set of clothes for Courtney to try on, and that's when she made her pitch to Courtney.

They agreed to help each other. Courtney was surprised to learn that Jenny was really American as well, but she knew there was more that Jenny had not told her. Although, she meant it she would do anything.

Together they came up with a plan. When the Sheik had a wife in his room, the only people aloud in there are the servants assigned to the wife and one body guard; the rest waited outside.

Courtney told Jenny that the body guard tasted everything served to the Sheik first.

So that night when preparing the food for the Sheik and Courtney, Jenny made sure to place the ketamine , _if it can put a horse to sleep, it will put this pig to sleep, _in the center of the steak and potatoes. Than the body guard to was steered to where Jenny wanted the guard to take a bite of the food from.

As soon as the guard tasted the food and he certified it as good, the Sheik dismissed him, and told Jenny to wait outside the room with the body guard in the ante room.

Jennifer did as she was told, and went out and took her place near the guard. After about 15 minutes a sound came from the Sheiks inner sanctum. The guard motioned for Jennie to wait there while he went in to check.

Jenny went into her boot and pulled out a mini tranq dart.

As the guard came into the room Courtney came running up to him holding her dress up saying, "The Sheik. He collapsed"

As the guard rushed in, Jenny came in right behind him and used a straw to blow the tranq dart into his neck. She tossed the straw aside and went to check both their vitals. Courtney went over to the wall, and slid the painting back revealing the safe.

Jenny rushed over and grabbed the small zipped case that was hidden among Courtney's things. She then dragged the Sheik over and opened his eye for the retina scanner and placed his palm on the residual screen. The lock popped open.

She grabbed the data discs and replaced them with blanks. Jenny knew she only had two tranq darts left so she grabbed a crescent shaped dagger off the guard and took his gun and magazines.

She gave the gun to Courtney with the safety on and told her to only use if she gave the ok. She didn't want to have to use it and bring undue attention to them with it.

They quietly slipped down the hall. Jenny peered around the corner and saw another guard. She slid the dagger up her sleeve and motioned for Courtney to stay put. She then sauntered over to the guard. While stroking his cheek she motioned for him to follow her around the corner out of the line of the cameras. Once around the corner she took the tranq cartridge and jammed it into his neck.

Once she saw the camera move to a different angle she motioned for Courtney to follow here down the hall. They were almost to the servants entrance/exit when one of the body guards came out of no were and confronted her.

In one swift motion Jennifer slid the dagger out from her sleeve and sliced up the guy's right arm severing his muscles and arteries right away. She then made a swift swipe across his neck and blood spurted all over her. But she didn't have time to clean herself up, there was a limited window and they had to go now. She threw the robes off and grabbed the man's gun, and gave it to Courtney who was now paralyzed in a state of shock.

Jennifer grabbed her arm and rushed out the doors and climbed into a jeep that was sitting out front. Just as Jennifer preyed the wiring cover off, the alarm started sounding. Noticing Courtney's state Jenny slapped her across the face to wake her up.

"Stay with me. Get down on the floor and hand me a gun when I ask. I will get us out of here." They took off across the desert for the lives.

Special Agent Jennifer Burton was on her way back to her extraction point with her asset. She had gotten the data disks from the wall safe of Sheik Alhaw Dvrivut

Agent Burton never asked what was on the disks, all she knew was that it had something to do with a new terrorist organization known as Al Queda, and that her bosses had tasked her to get the information. The bullet riddled jeep she was riding in was courtesy of Dvrivut's men. Jenny got here cell out and hit a button. 'Burton secure"

"What's your ETA Agent?"

"10 minutes. But have hostels on my ass. Need suppression fire."

"You got it pretty lady. We still on for drinks later?"

"Depends on how good your shooting is"

Jennifer Burton knew that at times like these it wasn't the best time to flirt. However with all the missions she has been on, there had been a slight attraction to only one man. Sgt William Kemper. He had been attached to her extraction missions before, and they had a witty repartee between them.

"Well if you are finally saying yes to that drink then I'm pretty sure I can bring down the rain on them."

"How far away are you?" Jenny asked.

Jenny looked at the floor in front of her and saw Courtney rolled into a ball covering her ears and trying to stay in one piece, as the jeep went flying over the next dune. She then returned her attention to the evasive driving at hand.

"Bout a mile out. I'm coming in fast."

"I am out of ammo so I am gunning the engine for everything it has left in it. That is about three dunes away. I should be there in five."

Jenny jerked the wheel hard to the left. She was trying to stay out of the line of fire of the gattling gun on the two humvees that were pursuing her. As she skidded to the right this time she went flying over the second to last dune. However, she didn't adjust her angle and the jeep she was in flopped down to the steep angle drop of the dune she just flew over. Her head hit the steering wheel as she kept both hands on the wheel and heard gun fire hitting the rear of the jeep again.

"Oh shit!"

"Reaper, Reaper, come in. Where are you"

"Have no fear pretty lady, the Calvary is here." Just then as she was crossing to the last dune the chopper flew over her and she immediately heard the hell fire gun strafing the pursuing humvees.

Within seconds the humvees had canon sized holes in them with steam and fluids leaking all over.

"Commander, make one more pass, let's show these bastards that it's not polite to shoot at a lady."

The chopper turned around again and the hell fire started up. Igniting the first jeep and blowing up the second one. They then returned and came in for a landing and picked up the parcel and their mystery guest.

"Echo 1 to Base."

"Base to Echo 1 over."

"We have the parcel and are en route to the drop site."

"Congratulations! Tell the parcel to contact her boss immediately."

"Sgt Kemper slid over to Jenny, as the medic tended to her head wound."

"Agent Burton, you have been requested to get on the horn to your boss ASAP"

"Just one second." Jenny walked over to Courtney, and pulled her to the side.

"How are you holding up?"

Courtney, with a blanket around her, was trying to keep the shock of everything that happened to a minor panic. "As well as can be expected I guess. Will I ever see you again?"

"Probably not. Look, I will make sure that you are taken care of with the diplomats"

"How will I ever repay you?"

"I was just doing my job, but and this is against the rules, but I will call you once your settled in back in Vegas. Just to make sure that you are doing ok."

"How will you call me? I don't even have a number yet that will work."

"Don't worry; I am Secret Agent remember." With that Jenny winked at her and went back to the Sgt and asked for the phone.

He handed Jenny the SAT phone gave her some space.

"Burton secure"

"Graham secure. Agent Burton did you get the disks?"

"Yes sir, everything is accounted for."

"How are you Jenny?"

"Sir I am fine. The field medic wants me to stay at the base over night just to ensure that I don't have a concussion. I have a scratch on my head, that's it."

"Ok, see to it that you have someone watch over you tonight."

Jenny looked over at Sgt Kemper and knew that wouldn't be a problem.

"There will be a transport to bring you back to DC scheduled to leave at twelve tomorrow. From there, you will bring the disks to Langley, and then you will have the docs check you out. You have a month of downtime, which I assuming you would like to spend Christmas with your family?"

"Yes sir"

'Good then, when you get back I will have a new assignment for you."

"Very good sir, I will see you when I get back."

Jenny tossed the phone back to the Sgt. "So the drinks are out but do you think you can keep me company tonight and make sure I don't die from my concussion?"

The Sgt smiled and started to blush just a bit. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Sgt what is that look in your eye? Now you know I'm only inviting you over to talk and to play some cards. I am not looking for a fling. However, I just need someone to stay by me and remind me that I'm still a human being. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes Ma'am."

After making sure that Courtney was going to get back to the states Jenny and Sgt Kemper made their way back to her billet for some coffee and cards.

Jenny never slept with Sgt Kemper, but it felt good for one night to sleep with someone and have them hold her and just make her feel safe. It also held off the nightmares for one more night.

The next morning she was on the transport back to D.C.


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: First off sorry for the delay. Life has just been hectic being back at work. I am working on the next chapter but it will prob be a week or two before it is out. Cross your fingers. Secondly I'd like to thank everyone who has supported this story, be it threw reviews and or just stopping by and reading. Specifically i need to thank my beta Bdaddydl. who i thinki have caused more headaches for with this story than any other than i have written. He truly is awesome either it be threw a days worth of emails or ims we managed to change a lot and or argue about what should stay in and what shouldnt. Second to Nickyr, jaytoyz. You guys are just awesome and to michael66 who is constantly on my ass to get the next chapter out lol. Finally to my wife and daughter without who i am nothing. i love you guys with everything that i have. Last but not least please review and let me know how im doing. beleive it or not i do listen and try to incorporate some of your ideas. Lastly there is a change starting this chapter in Sarah walkers character. hopfully you wil all like it. Just showing another side of her. We have a bit before her and chuck meet up but i should be worth the wait. Finally these are short scenes were it moves the characters along. Hopefully you ll will be able to see were i am going. If not just ask me i always respond.  


* * *

**Chapter 5**

**December 24, 2000 Sarah**

As the United Airways flight 458 was getting ready to descend to LAX Airport, Special Agent Jennifer Burton left the washroom, and emerged as Sarah Walker, daughter of Jonathon (Jack) and Maryanne Walker.

Sarah could feel the eyes of the men she was passing, eyeing her up and down. _I will never get used to the staring,_ _but it will always creep me out._ Sarah thought to herself as she slid her sunglasses over her eyes she made it to the National car rental unscathed. Sarah had left her beloved Porsche back in D.C. so when she got to the counter she asked if they had any on hand.

The guy at the counter grinned at the question "Of course, Ms Walker, this is L.A. after all"

Sarah narrowed her eyes at the man behind the counter and smiled. "Thanks, well if everyone is getting one, I'll take a Porsche then."

As Sarah drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, her mind wandered for once not on a mission, but to her last conversation with her mom over six months ago.

_Sarah had just gotten back into D.C. and went to her apartment and pulled open the wall safe and turned on her secure phone that's for Sarah Walker only. She had a message from her mother asking her to call her back as soon as she was able._

_As soon as her mom picked up the phone she asked "Sarah, will you be able to make it home for Christmas this year?"_

"_Mom I am not really sure. You know that being the attaché to our Ambassador in Italy, takes up a most of my time."_

"_It would mean so much to all of us if you could come."_

"_Mom, I will do my best, I promise, and yes I know they celebrate Christmas in Italy, it's just that we are negotiating for some trade rights, along with a few other things, so it's just a packed session at the moment."_

"_Look mom, I just got into my flat and I really need a shower, I promise I will do everything I can do get home ok."_

"_OK sweetheart be careful and hopefully we will see you soon. Bye baby."_

"_Bye mom" with that, Sarah had hung the phone up and sat on her couch. She looked around at the sterile environment she called an apartment. She didn't keep any family photos out, they were all kept in a safe in case someone broke in and tried to use her family as leverage. The only photo she had was of her and Carina in Cabo, on their last vacation._

Sarah turned the wheel to take the Ingleside exit. She pulled onto Asbury Lane and drove down the street that was once very familiar to her. If she was honest with herself, she was extremely nervous that she hadn't seen her baby brother Sebastian sine he was an infant and he was now 4 years old. Then there was her younger sister Christina, who was old enough to remember her older sister. She was now 11 years old. Even though, Sarah had done her best to shop for them, but since she hadn't seen them in a few years so it was kind of hit or miss.

As she was pulling up to the house, she saw a little boy and a fairly older girl with long brown hair playing basketball in the driveway. As they saw the car pulling up to their driveway they both ran back to the house to get their mom and dad.

Sarah got out of the car and pulled her jacket down and smoothed out her pencil skirt as she started to walk to the trunk to get her suitcase. It was then that she heard the familiar voice welcoming her home.

"Sarah!"

As she peered over the trunk lid she replied "Momma!"

They ran to one another and embraced in a hug. As her mother's own brown hair flew in her eyes, she could make out her father standing tall in the door frame with his hands on both the younger children's heads.

Sarah blinked twice before saying "Surely that can't be Christy and Sebastian."

"It sure is, come on let me get a look at you, then ill reintroduce you to your younger siblings." Her mother held her at arm's length and gave her the once over. "Italy sure has done wonders for you, you look amazing"

"Thank's mom, but I just finally came out of my shell and remembered that I come from good stock."

'That you are my dear. Come on, let's go inside." They walked arm in arm towards the front door of the house.

Maryanne walked up to her younger daughter and son who was still hiding behind his daddy's leg.

"Seb, Christy, I know you haven't seen her in awhile, but this is your older sister Sarah."

Sarah smiled when she saw he younger sister say to her mom "Mom, I told you it's Christine now" she said with her hip sticking out.

Sarah knelt down and shook Sebastian's hand and was instantly pulled into a hug. Sarah closed her eyes for just a moment and relished having her brother respond to her so well. She then replied to Christy "That was my fault Christy. I asked Mom if that was you, and the last time I saw you, that's what we were calling you, I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Soooo, what did you get us for Christmas?"

"Christine!" Sarah's mom chastised her daughter in a loud voice.

"It's ok mom, I did get you guys something, but you have to wait till tomorrow. Can I at least give you a hug right now?"

"Sure, I guess."

Sarah looked at her mom and she just rolled her eyes. Typical preteen. They both shared a laugh. It was then that her father made his presence known.

"So, you will still be here tomorrow then? I didn't think that you'd be here for more than four hours with your busy schedule and all."

"Jack!" Maryanne yelled.

"No mom it's ok, that's up to you dad. I was able to get leave till the 30th, but if you want me to leave or stay in a hotel, just tell me now and I will go."

Sarah's mom interrupted her, "She is my daughter Jack and we haven't seen her in years. I will not stand by and let you run her off to a hotel. Sarah Lisa Walker you are staying here and I don't want to hear anything else about it from either of you."

"Yes mom." Sarah replied.

"Sure, hun for you." And with that Jack went back inside the house.

Everything went perfect for the first few days. Sarah had spent time with her mom watching her cook, mainly due to Sarah's non cooking skills, however she did volunteer for chopping duties. Sarah spent a considerable amount of time with her brother and sister. Christine was still holding a grudge from Sarah being gone for the last few years. As Sarah had spoken to her about it, and explained that anytime she needed advice she could call the number that her mom had, and Sarah would be glad to talk to her and call her back. Sebastian on the other hand wouldn't leave Sarah's side. He was either in her arms or climbing all over her, until her mom had to say enough was enough. Looking into his eyes Sarah saw an exuberance and love of life that she hadn't seen in the mirror in awhile.

Sarah's Christmas had been the best one in years. Both of her siblings had loved their presents and even her father had kept his mouth shut until after the day had passed. That was until she had gotten that phone call from Graham on her secure phone.

Sarah had just hung up when her father had followed her outside and asked "Who was that on the phone?"

"Dad, it was my boss, ok"

"No it's not ok, what did he want? He knows you're on vacation? Why can't he wait till you are back wherever? Jack's voice was getting louder as his hands flew threw the air.

"Dad! He is my boss, what he needed to tell me is of government importance, and is classified. You don't need to know"

Don't need to know, young lady I am your father, and you are staying in my god damn house, and if I feel I need to know you will tell me. Why the two phones? What are you sleeping with him? Is he married?"

"What? No, dad I am the attaché to the United States Ambassador to Italy. While I'm away that does not mean he is not working and I have personal knowledge for what he needed to know. As for the two phones, one is supplied to me by the government, meant for government proposes only. The other is my personal phone that you can reach me on."

"This is bullshit and you god damned know it, and I will not have this in my house. If you can't be honest with me, with your family, then you have no place being here.

"What am I not being honest about dad? Sarah started to scream. I have a job, a good one and like it or not, that's how it is.

Maryanne who had come running out of the house, and was watching from the sidelines, had had enough. "Both of you stop it, stop it this instant. You're making a scene out in public and this is a family matter."

"Of course you side with her. We don't hear from her in years. You beg her to come home for birthdays, anniversaries, or any other event in our lives, and finally, she graces us with her presence, and you think she just walks on water."

"Fine, you know what dad, I'm out of here. I am going back to my job. Hope you have a great life. Mom, I am sorry, but I can't stay here any longer with him like this." Sarah lowered her shoulders and walked into the house saying " I will just go and get my things."

"Jonathon Walker, if she leaves this house your bag will be on the porch right after her, and you can stay at a hotel for a while, because i don't want to see you right now.

With that, Maryanne walked back into house following her daughter. Jack rubbed his hand thru his hair, and his daughter stormed out of the house to her car as her brother called out for her from his mother's arms.

Sarah had arrived at the airport and boarded her flight back to D.C. She had a business class seat waiting for her. After checking her small bag into the over head compartment with her garment bag and sank back into the leather chair. As the plane leveled off in the air, Sarah could recall her father's last words to her.

"_If you leave now, you're cut off. You will be out of the will young lady."_

_Sarah responded with "Fine! I have made a life for myself, and you're just angry that it wasn't working for you in the family business, if that's the way you feel then fine. Just make sure that mom, Christy, and Sebastian know that I love them._

Sarah could feel the tears welling up again; she got emotional once that day and her training was telling her even that was too much. So once the fasten seat belt sign was turned off, she opened up the overhead compartment and grabbed her garment bag.

Sarah had boarded the jet wearing a casual pair of jeans and a red blouse. Once she got herself locked into the restroom, she hung the garment bag up on the door and turned and looked into the mirror. She could no longer hold back the flood of emotions that she had been holding in since she had left her parents house. She gripped the sides of the sink and just shook for what seemed like hours. Sarah looked up into the mirror, and saw the tears just flowing freely from her eyes. She leaned back down and ran cool cold water across her face and over her hair. She looked back up again and saw her red rimmed eyes in the mirror. "Happy New Year to me." She said to herself.

She pulled her hair back into a tight bun, got dressed into her business suit, and put some visine in her eyes. No longer staring back at her was Sarah Walker. Now staring back at her was Special Agent Jennifer Burton. Agent Burton exited the restroom, placed her bag back in the overhead compartment, and took her seat for the remainder of the flight.  


* * *

**December 29, 2000 Washington D.C.**

For the last few years Langston Grahams star had been on the rise. As his star pupil continued to complete mission after mission he has benefited, and now it was at its peak. The Director of the CIA had stepped down, and the President had named his replacement.

The Intelligence community was pleasantly surprised the President had named Graham as his predecessor's successor. Ever since taking his oath of office Graham had been constantly on the phone, between other agencies trying to make improvements to areas that he had been making note of for awhile when his secretary chimed in.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Adrianne?"

"I have the director of MI6 on the line"

"Put him thru"

"Director Graham thanks you for taking my call and congratulations on your recent appointment."

"Thank you sir, how can the CIA help you today?"

"Sir, there is a scientist that has been unwillingly helping the Iranian's on their nuclear program. He is more of a Neuroscientist, but he is also an expert in Nuclear physics."

"Ok, so he would be a huge asset to get out of Iran. Where do we come in?"

"Well we were going to send in a couple and have them intercept him and get him back to Britain, however our female agent was killed in her last mission. We were hoping that you could send us someone to help, and we will share the knowledge that we gain from him with you."

"I am sure that I have the right Agent to help you on your mission. How long do you expect this mission to take?"

"A week, maybe two, no more"

"Ok send over all information on the Doctor and your agent, once I review everything I am sure we can work something out."

"Thank you Director Graham."

"Oh, by the way what is the Dr's name?"

Grahem could hear papers being shuffled in the background. "Zarnow, Jonas Zarnow."  


* * *

**September 15, 2001 New Mexico Devon and Morgan**

Devon Woodcomb was running up the stairs to his hotel room coming from the gym. He slipped his room card out from his Mp3 players arm band and opened the door to room 515.

He walked into the room and headed towards the bathroom with a quick "Hey Guys". Just as he was entering the bathroom h stopped and stepped back out. Morgan was laying on the bed on his stomach with his elbows propping up his head.

"Morgan where is Chuck?"

"He went out for some air, said he would be back" Morgan replied never taking his eyes off Kyle Mclaughlin becoming the quizerat haderac.

"Alright, we can go out for dinner when I get out of the shower."

Fifteen minutes later, Devon walked out of the bathroom refreshed and ready for dinner.

"Morgan, did Chuck ever come back?"

"No, I don't think so." Morgan again replied still watching Dune.

Devon went over and checked to see if there were any messages on the phone. Sure enough, the message light was on.

Devon picked up the receiver and dialed 0 for the operator.

"Reception, how can I help you?"

"Yes hi, this is room 515 and our message light was on."

"Certainly sir, one moment."

_What is love, baby don't hurt me no more _started playing on the line while Devon was placed on hold he started to hum the tune.

"Hello sir?"

"Uhem Yes" Devon replied clearing his throat.

"You have a message waiting here at the front desk."

"Thank you, I'll be right down" after saying it Devon eyed his roommate. Devon picked up a pillow and threw it hard at Morgan hitting him square in the head.

"Hey, what?"

"Let's go, we have a message down at the front desk. Devon replied with a slight frown he had an idea who it was from.

Six minutes later, they both got off the elevator and headed to the front desk.

Morgan walked up to the front desk, placed his palms on the desk, and started to make eyes at the girl behind the counter until he felt Awesome's hand grab the back of his shirt and pull him back. "We are here for Chuck; keep it in your pants." After awesome shook his head and muttered "Not awesome."

"Hi, I am here for a message for room 515."

"Sure, can I see your key card just to verify you are from that room?"

"Certainly here you go." Devon replied with a slight smile.

The woman nodded and handed Devon the envelope.

He walked to the seating area and took a seat ripping the end of the envelope open. Morgan came and sat across from him on the next chair.

Devon crumpled the paper up and tossed it at Morgan, who picked it up while Devon made his way back to the counter.

"Miss, excuse me?"

"Yes sir, how can I help you?"

"Do you know how long ago that message was dropped off?"

"Ummm, it was before my shift started so before Five pm."

Devon just turned away from the counter, his head down, while digging in his pocket for something.

Morgan had just looked up with a blank expression on his face and spoke up "Who are you calling?"

"I have to call Ellie and let her know that we lost her little brother."

Devon walked outside, while Morgan just fell back into the chair and dialed Ellie.

"Hey Babe, how's the drive?" Ellie answered the phone.

_Gotta hate caller I.D. Damn you Chuck for making me do this. _"Hey El, its going pretty well, we have stopped for the night in Texas then will continue home tomorrow morning. How's everything going on the home front?" Devon replied with a slight tremor in his voice.

"Devon, what's wrong?" Devon hated that she could read him so well.

There was a silence for just a moment and as Ellie Bartowski, was getting more worried by the second, just as she was about to ask again, she heard Devon clearing his throat.

"Well you see babe…" Devon replied hesitantly.

Ellie was starting to get angry. So she closed her eyes and counted to three and threw gritted teeth she asked again "Devon what is going on?"

"We have kinda lost Chuck"

"Devon, what exactly do you mean that you kind of lost Chuck?"

"Well I went down to the gym and Chuck and Morgan were in the room watching some sci fi movie…."

"Hey it was Dune, not some sci fi movie."

Devon clamped his hand over Morgan's mouth. "Ell, anyway I came back from the Gym and I asked Morgan were Chuck was, and he replied getting some air. So I jumped in the shower. When I came out Chuck still hadn't returned. I checked the message light and it was on, so I called the front desk and they said we had a message down there and that's where we are now."

Devon could hear the bitterness in her voice "I asked you to do one thing, to look after my grieving brother, and you went to the gym."

"Ellie, look I am sorry, after seeing what we have seen the last few days, I needed to just get back into a routine and try and get my mind clear."

Devon listened to the other end of the phone and heard Ellie breathing.

"El, are you still there? Baby, talk to me"

Sniffling for just a second Ellie came back to the phone. "Devon I am sorry, I know you have been through a lot, and I know that it must have really messed you guys up. I had no right to yell at you, did the note give any clue to where Chuck had gone?"

"All I know is that the note said that he got his own ride, and that he would see us in a few days, oh and to not let you worry too much."

Ellie wiped a lone tear from her eye and thought what to do next.

"Ok Devon, here is what will happen. I want you and Morgan to get a good nights sleep. Get up at six am and get back home. On your way just keep an eye out for Chuck. Who knows maybe you will see him on the side of the road. Get back here as quick as you can and I'll call out of work for tonight and tomorrow and sit by the phone in case he calls. I want you home Devon, I miss you."

"Ok, Ell, just remember Chuck is grown up, I know that he is your little brother, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt."

Devon could feel Ellie breaking down over the phone. They had always been very close since they met. He could always tell when she was upset when he wasn't with her, it just made it that much more intense.

"Babe, hey Ellie, Chuck will be ok, I promise"

"Thanks Devon let me go so I can call work." She replied while drying her eyes. "Call me before you go to sleep, and we can make final plans."

"Ok El, oh and Ellie"

"Yes Devon?"

"I love you"

"I love you too."  


* * *

**Sedona, Arizona Rte. 60-Chuck September 2001**

It was now 8:30pm and Chuck had been on highway 60 for a bit. He had just entered Sedona valley, when he spotted sign for a motel, saying that it was the last one for the next 100 miles. Chuck decided to stop for the night. As he slowed down on the accelerator he noticed a sign for the star motel up ahead. As he neared the motel, he pulled into the parking lot. He went into the lobby and got a room for the next two nights. As he stepped out of the lobby he noticed that there were a few small eateries and a liquor store/ souvenir shop.

He took his bags into his room and then decided to grab a bite to eat and than grab a few supplies for the next few days.

As he entered MOLLY'S DINER he proceeded to grab a booth at the back of diner were he wasn't really near anyone. Chuck put his heads in his hands and shook out his hair and slapped his cheeks to keep himself awake.

After a few moments a slightly older brunette waitress sauntered over to Chuck. "How ya doing Hun? What can I get for you handsome?"

Chuck knew she was just been flirty and nice to get a tip, but he just wasn't in the mood for this kind of attention. Not meaning to intentionally be rude, but Chuck lashed out at the waitress. "I would like some black coffee."

The waitress bent down getting closer to Chuck, becoming dangerously close to invading his personnel space and then asked "Anything else sugah"

Chuck took a deep breath and answered "A grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup. Now please you can stop with the nice waitress act, you will get your damn tip."

The waitress looked into Chucks deep sullen eyes and smartly answered "Yes, sir, if you need anything else just wave, I won't bother you till your foods up."

After the waitress left the table Chuck got up and went over to the pay phone on the other end of the room. He put in his 45cents and pulled the crumpled piece of paper out of his back jeans pocket. He dialed the number and waited for the answer.

"Hello?" a gruff male voice answered the phone.

"HHI… Saul?"

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Saul, its Chuck Bartowski, I bought your sons bike"

"Oh yes, Charles, how can I help you? Is there a problem with the bike?"

"NO, no nothing like that. I was just calling to hold up my end our deal. I'm in Sedona. I will be staying here a few days out in the desert to get my head together, before I head back to Stanford, and figure out what I have to take care of first."

"Thank you for calling me son. I have one more request."

"Of course Saul you have done so much for me already, anything"

"Well then I have two requests. I want you to stay in touch with us, so we know how you're doing. You have something special in you son, and one day you will be able to share that with someone again. I just want to know when it happens.. Two, I want to contact your sister and let her know that you are ok. I won't tell her where you are, but that I know your ok, and you will continue to let me know. If anything happens I will let her know."

Chuck sighed and ran his hand over his face, and when he did not answer Saul spoke up again "Chuck?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Saul. I guess I have no choice. Just please let her know that I'm sorry and I'll see her soon. Ok her number is 555-3826."

As he hung up the phone he could feel the emotions he had forced into a tight ball in his stomach began to unravel and take hold of him again. After a few moments he had them in check once again As he ran his hand over his face he noticed the waitress behind him.

"Your food is on the table, probably cold now" she turned to leave.

Chuck looked up into the waitresses green eyes and softly spoke "Miss I'm sorry for my attitude earlier. Thank you"

The waitress nodded and went back to her other customers.  


* * *

**Burbank, Ca.-Ellie **

Ellie had just gotten ready for bed. She was waiting for Devon to call her before he went to sleep, but frankly between worrying for her brother, and working at the hospital she was beat.

Just as she turned down the bed her phone rang. She checked the caller ID and saw it was a Texas number. Maybe Devon was calling from the hotel room.

"MMMmm, you have great timing honey I was just getting ready for bed."

"Excuse me for the intrusion, is this Ellie Bartowski?"

Ellie clamped a hand over her mouth that defiantly was not Devon. "Umm yes, can I help you?"

"Ms. Bartowski, you don't know me. My name is Saul Matthews, and I have a message from your brother."

Ellie chocked back on a gasp of air, when he mentioned Chuck. "I, I, I'm sorry did you say you had a message from my brother?"

"Yes ma'am, I spoke with him earlier this evening, and as part a deal we made, he was to call me to let me know that he was ok and where he was. As part of that promise I told him he had to let you know that he was ok."

"Wait! Wait, wait just one minute, what deal with my brother? How do you know Chuck?"

"Ma'am" Saul went to continue but was cut off.

Ellie took a deep breath "Ellie, Please call me Ellie" she replied running a hand thru her hair keeping it out of her face.

Saul let out a small chuckle "You are definitely his sister, He asked me not to tell you were he was, but tell you that he was safe, however, he never said I couldn't tell you how we knew each other."

Saul took a breath knowing full well that she was going to be upset over this.

"Ellie, your brother showed up at my doorstep, with the intentions of purchasing a motorcycle that I had for sale."

"WHAT?" Ellie fell back on her bed, reliving the day she got the cal when she was in medical school saying that Chuck had been hurt riding a motorcycle.

Saul pushed forward though. "Yes, it was my son's bike until he died. I fixed it up and was selling it, and your brother showed up to buy it. I told him I would not just sell it to anyone and after a long talk about why he was doing this I sold it to him."

"Ellie, he told me the story of his fiancée. It broke both my wife's and mine heart. Your brother is going through a lot as well as you are, and I don't know how it will affect him long term, but he just needed to get his head together before he returns home."

"Saul, thank you for letting me know but, my brother is far from fine, and the sooner he gets home, the sooner we can get him some help. If you would like since it seems that you are vested in Chuck's well being which I am grateful for, I could call you and give you an update on how he's doing."

"I would appreciate that very much, Ellie" Saul replied. "If I hear from Chuck again, I will let you know."

"Thank you Saul, and please have a good night."

Ellie sat there on her bed for a moment looking up at the ceiling saying thank you. She hadn't prayed to God in a long time, but knowing her little brother was ok. She needed to at least be thankful; even though at this moment in time, she wasn't sure there was a God after all this horribleness had happened.

She then picked up the phone to call Devon to let him know what she had found out. Oh she will so kill Chuck for buying a motorcycle when he gets home.  


* * *

**Sedona, Arizona.-Chuck**

Chuck had left the diner and strolled over to the liquor store. While he wasn't a big drinker, he had been known to tie one down a time or two. He picked up a bottle of Makers Mark whiskey. It was Kayla's favorite. It had a burnt on wax seal that just looked cool and tasted smooth.

He popped open the top and drank from the paper bag he carried the bottle in. He strolled to the edge of the little town and looked out over the plateau. The sun had set awhile ago and the coolness of the desert was stirring beneath his feet.

The alcohol was already taking its effect on him. Chuck wandered out into the desert. Tears were streaming down his face. He was finally cracking. He sank to his knees and looked up into the sky and finally screamed "Why, God? Why did you take her? It wasn't her time." Chuck pounded his empty fist into the ground. When he raised his head again spit was hanging from his mouth. He stood up raising his fists in the air, the bottle still held tightly in his right hand, "From this day forward I will never ask you for anything else. I will not honor you. You took from me what can never be replaced, and I will never forgive you. Never, do you hear me? NEVER!"

Chuck collapsed down again and shuddered. Once his breathing calmed down he staggered to his feet and slowly made his way back to his hotel room. Once he got there he threw the bottle on the chair and collapsed on the bed.  


* * *

**September 16, 2001 Stanford University-Bryce**

Bryce Larkin exited the frat house and was on his way to class. He really wasn't paying attention to where he was going. As he was recalling the conversation he had had with Chuck's sister Ellie just that morning.

"_Hello"_

"_Bryce, hey it's Ellie"_

"_Hey Ellie, any word from Devon or Chuck?"_

"_Well yes and no, Devon and Morgan should be departing New Mexico soon, and be on their way back."_

"_What about Chuck?"_

"_Well apparently he left them behind bought a motorcycle, and went off on his own." Ellie paused for a moment to collect her self. "Bryce he bought a motorcycle and the man he bought it from called me last night."_

"_Wha, wait a minute slow down Ellie, my best friend the man who hates when you drive fast, bought a motorcycle?"_

"_Bryce, Devon said he is having some kind of mid life crisis. I know he's lost without Kayla, but he went skydiving with Devon and now he bought a bike and went to be by himself for awhile."_

"_Wait Ellie, what do you mean he went off by himself?"_

_Taking a deep breath Ellie went over it again "A man named Saul called me last night and told me about Chuck. He told me how he sold him his son's motorcycle, and how Chuck just needed some time to sort things out. He did promise me that if Chuck called him again he would call me and let me know that he was ok."_

"_Geez, Ellie, I am sorry. If there is anything you need me to do, I don't know what there is, but let me know ok."_

"_Thanks Bryce"_

Thanks Bryce. He shook his head and ran his hands thru his hair. _What was I thinking? Just saying I don't know what I can do to help, but ill try _

_Man, I am an idiot, no wonder Ellie, thinks I am a reoomph._

Bryce was jarred out of his thoughts as he walked into someone and knocked them over.

"Oh Geez, I am so sorry, are you ok? Jill?"

"Yeah I am fine, no thanks to you Bryce" Jill responded brushing off her pants. Bryce bent down and started to pick up her papers and her books.

"What the hell were you doing daydreaming?"

"No, no again I'm sorry I was just lost in thought about a conversation I had earlier with Chuck's sister."

Jill's face softened. She had always had a crush on Chuck and was hoping that he would have asked her out, but instead, he had met that woman, and they fell in love. She was honestly sorry that she was dead. _Maybe I can use this to show him what he missed. _

"How is he Bryce?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure; he left his brother in law and best friend out in New Mexico and just took off. His sister is frantic, and I have no idea what I should be doing." Bryce pushed his hair back again and gave Jill a little smile.

"Maybe instead of waiting for him, we can do something to help him."

"Like what?"

"Maybe we should go to his place and start packing things up. It will be easier on him when he gets back."

"Jill that might not be a bad idea, how bout today after class we can meet up and get started?"

"Sounds like a plan, bye Bryce" Jill replied waving.

"Bye Jill"

For the first time in over a week, Bryce had a plan to get something done.

Jill started walking towards her first class of the morning all the while thinking to herself.

_One day Charles Bartowski will see that I am the woman for him even if I have to wait years._


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter. It was meant to be out awhile ago and a lot longer. However i am having problems with the second half so i wanted to put something out and here it is. Hopefully everyone who is reading is still out there. The next half is in beta now but it needs some reworking and it will be almost all Sarah and or close to it. By the way there are a few flashbacks in this chapter. Hopefully they are alright. Following that in the chapter after that or two Chuck and Sarah will meet. Thanks to my beta Bdaddydl who puts up with me and to everyone else who supports me. And to my wife and daughter, I love you both and time goes by way too fast. my little girl is now 1 as of last Friday.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Chuck-Sedona Arizona September 16, 2001**

Chuck woke up in the middle of the night and staggered to the toilet and emptied what was left in his stomach. After he was done he stumbled back to the bed. As he passed the bathroom mirror he looked at the image in the mirror reflecting back at him. Looking back at him was his beloved Kayla; he wiped his eyes. He saw the image with a sad face. "Stop it, you died remember. You left me, you promised you'd never leave, but you did. You have no right to judge how I'm handling this!" Chuck yelled back at the mirror.

When he turned back the image was gone, and all he saw was himself. Chuck crawled back onto the bed and laid his head back down. Chuck was still until a deep growl emanated from his throat. He reached over and picked up his cell phone from the night stand and dialed the all to familiar number. It went straight to voicemail as it should. Savoring hearing her voice again he laid his head back and just listened four or five times.

_Hi you've reached Kayla leave a message_

The following morning came too soon. Chuck woke up with a blinding ray of sunlight penetrating his eyeballs. He reached for the night stand and took two aspirin out of the bottle. Rubbing his face Chuck stepped into the shower, letting the warm water cascade over his body. As his hair fell like tendrils around his face he thought back to last night.

_She's dead I must have dreamed it. _Chuck felt the bile rise up into his throat again. This time he let the release come willingly instead of trying to hold it back. After his shower and rigorous tooth brushing Chuck left the hotel room and headed to the convenience store and grabbed two bottles of water, a bottle of Gatorade, and some trail bars.

He made sure that he had paper and a pen in his pack. Then he went over to the tour pavilion and paid his five dollar entrance fee for Montezuma's Castle National Monument. It was a tour in the Verde Valley of a 5 story 20 room cliff dwelling long ago left by the Sinagua Indians. Basically, a 600 year old high rise apartment building.

When the tour arrived at the site, Chuck took in the limestone buildings and just imagined the amount of work it took to carve out these rooms into the side of the mountain. As the tour proceeded to look at the well and drainage canals that had been built, Chuck strayed off and climbed the rocks in front of the apartment like structure and then entered the hotel area. He ran his hands over the limestone and saw the carved out structures and cave drawings on the walls.

He remembered a story that Kayla had told him of her ancestors from a long time ago, and how they had written on the cave walls to tell their stories. Thinking of Kayla brought back the dream and hearing her voice last night, Chuck collapsed against the wall and just shook as emotions washed over him like an endless series of waves until he was able to get control again.

Chuck continued to climb higher into the building until he came to the roof area. He walked out towards the ledge, and just sat down in the sunlight and pulled out a bottle of water. After taking a long swig of water he pulled out the legal pad and pen. He started scribbling down notes and things that needed to be done when he got back to Stanford.

He needed to contact a lawyer and have Kayla declared legally dead, or at the very least start the proceedings. If he remembered correctly you have to be missing for 7 years before you can be declared legally dead. However, under the circumstances, Chuck wanted to see if there were any exempting circumstances. He just wanted to give his fiancée a proper burial. Legally he couldn't until she was declared dead by the state.

After that he needed to transfer her cell phone number over to his account. Listening to her voicemail kept a small part of her alive in him.

Stanford was a different matter. Chuck knew what they were willing to let him do, but right now that wasn't a priority. He needed to figure out what he was going to do with their apartment, and he needed to fill out the paperwork and start training for the police academy.

Chuck took a deep breath, and looked into the blue sky. He wasn't sure how he was going to enter their apartment again. Walking in and smelling her perfume, seeing the things they had bough together. Just thinking about it made him start to tear up and he pulled some tissues out of his pocket. He wanted to hide is tears so that anyone who came across him would not ask why he was crying, because then he would feel obliged to answer, and he just didn't need that now.

At that moment he heard someone behind him, and even though he didn't have a weapon, he turned and surprised the person behind him just the same. It was a park ranger.

"Sir, you're not permitted to be up here."

"I do apologize officer, I just needed sometime alone and a place to clear my head and think."

The ranger studied him carefully before asking. "You weren't thinking of committing suicide were you sir?"

Chuck stood up and dusted himself off. "No sir! I wasn't trying to commit suicide… If I was going to commit suicide, I wouldn't have been sitting here contemplating my thoughts now would I? I would have just jumped."

"You would be surprised what the jumpers do; besides there's no reason to be flippant sir"

"The name's Chuck." Chuck ran his hands thru his hair pulling it back over his head. "Look, I'm not trying to cause trouble. I just want to be by myself and think on a way to find a way to get on with my life."

By this time, a crowd had started to gather around the bottom of the Indian hotel watching the scene unfold on the roof. Murmurs throughout the crowd had started the suicide vs. drunk chatter. Mothers were shielding their children's eyes, and the men were just trying to figure out a way to find out more about what was going on.

Chuck started to move, but the ranger put his hands up to stop him from going to fast.

"Sir…Chuck, these structures have held up for over 600 years. However, after years of storms the edges are easily crumbled, which is why we don't like people to be up here. Please be slow and careful."

"Look Officer I really I appreciateeeeee woah…." Chuck was about to step off the side when his footing slipped on the edge of the roof and he started to fall back. That's when he felt two arms grab him by the shirt.

Chuck was pulled back from falling several stories down, a father who had a video camera out in the crowd caught the entire event live. Within hours it would be on the evening news from coast to coast.

As the ranger pulled Chuck back in, and waited for Chuck to settle his nerves before taking the ladder back down to the main level. He asked Chuck why he was up there.

"Look again officer, I'm really sorry. I guess you could say I'm in mourning. I lost my fiancée a few days ago on 9/11, and I just needed to get away from everyone and everything that reminded me of her so I could sort out my life now. I had no intentions of ever committing suicide I promise."

Once they left the hotel area and were working their way threw the crowd, the officer guided Chuck back to his jeep. A few of the family's offered the Officer a pat on the back and said great job to him.

"Listen Chuck, I am truly sorry about your fiancée, I truly am and if you're out here to collect yourself, well then I suppose that's fine. But please let's leave it on the ground floor can you?"

"Yes, sir officer." They pulled back up into the town and parked in front of the ranger's station. Which coincidentally, was located a few blocks from the hotel Chuck was staying in.

"Look, if you really need to get away from prying eyes. If you drive about two miles outside of the town there is a dirt road. It will lead to a scenic view of the range, and it's perfect for just going out and thinking. I have done it once or twice myself."

" Thanks, I think I might just do that."

Chuck got out of the jeep and shut the door. He walked down the street till he was in front of his bike.

Once he straddled the bike and kicked the kick stand up, the motor started easily.. As he back peddled out of the spot, he lowered his helmets visor, and took off down the street in the direction that the officer had pointed him in. It wasn't long before Chuck came across the road the officer had mentioned and he turned down it. He rode for a little ways and then just came to a halt. As he turned off his bike and lowered his kick stand he took his helmet off and surveyed the surrounding area. Chuck's eyes grew wide in amazement.

It was beautiful. There was a rock formation to the right, he went and climbed up and sat on it. He sat on the boulders with his legs propped up and he just sat there looking around. The sky was crystal blue without a cloud in it for miles. The orange huh of the desert with the canyons around were an amazing site. Splotches of green from the cacti and grass added a bit of bright color with the muted colors in the rock made this truly a serene moment.

There was no doubt he knew why the officer came out here. There was peace and quiet, no one for miles around and no noise from the tourists. Chuck took his shirt off and laid back on the smooth boulder and covered his face with the shirt. After a few minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Past**

_Chuck woke up lying in bed with hand running up and down his stomach. Rubbing a hand over his face he looked up and saw Kayla staring back down at him. _

"_Honey what are you doing awake?" Chuck asked as he looked over at the clock. It read 2:00am_

"_Chuck how long have we been together?" Kayla asked._

"_Oh just over 2 years, why?"_

" _Chuck just bear with me please." Chuck took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers and held her hand tightly, while nodding for her to continue._

"_We love each other right?" Again Kayla asked and Chuck nodded his head while bringing her hand up to his lips while he was still holding it placing small kisses on her knuckles._

"_That's why I asked you to marry me honey." _

"_I know Chuck, and that's why I said yes, but please be serious for a minute ok. If I were to die tomorrow what would you do?"_

_Chuck looked into her dark brown eyes and placed his palm on the side of her face rubbing it soothingly. "Honestly honey, if you were to die tomorrow I don't think could live without you. You're kinda irreplaceable, you know. If you died I'd die too, and I don't mean figuratively, I would die from a broken heart."_

_Kayla got up from the bed and wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed up and down her torso. _

"_Hey, calm down, its ok, nothing is going to happen to you!" Chuck got up from the bed and wrapped her up in his arms. He placed his head on top of hers and he felt her relax for a second before pushing him back on the bed._

"_No! Chuck Bartowski, you will not kill yourself just to be with me."_

"_Kayla what's gotten into you? Just come back to bed."_

"_Chuck, just listen to me baby, please. If I were to die, you need to keep on living. You need to move on with your life. You are such a wonderful, smart, and giving man. There would be someone out there, not replace me, but to help mend your broken heart."_

"_Kayla, why are you talking like this, why are we even discussing it? Is something wrong….Are you dying?"_

"_No. Baby, no." Kayla rushed to the bed and took Chucks face in her hands and placed a soft yet sensuous kiss on his lips. _

"_Then why the questions?" Chuck asked with a dazed look over his face._

"_Chuck I just need to know that if something were to ever happen to me you'd be able to move on for your Sister , your friends, and one day there maybe someone else who will join your family and capture this big heart of yours and will need you s much as I do."  


* * *

_**Present**

Chuck woke up with a start. He sat up and rubbed his face. "What was that?"

"Was I dreaming?" _ No we definitely had that conversation a while ago; I guess I just didn't remember it till now. _Chuck rubbed his face as his thoughts continued to stream thru his mind. _What did Kayla mean new family? There is no way ill ever have a family._

Chuck threw his shirt back on and headed back to his bike. As he put his helmet back on, he looked out over the vast space in front of him, and then looked up to the sky. His eyes became unfocused and said. "Thank you Kayla. I can't promise that it will be easy. You will never be replaced or forgotten. You will always have a special place in my heart. " Chuck looked at the view once more, put his visor down, and started his bike to go back to the hotel.

As he got back to town, he pulled into the hotel parking lot and headed over to the diner . Once he walked in and sat at the bar the waitress came over and took his order. Once she was done, she got an odd look on her face.

"Hey, you're him?"

"Huh," Chuck asked, "what are you talking about?"

"On the TV it's on every news station." A few other patrons turned around and were looking at him now.

"Ma'am I honestly have no idea what you're talking about"

"Look, you're wearing the same clothes as that guy who almost fell off the roof of the old Indian hotel.' the waitress said pointing to a TV.

Chuck looked up at the screen and saw for himself.

"How long has this been showing?"

"Bout two hours now"

"Shit, Ellie!"

Chuck got up and raced out of the diner and headed back to his hotel room to grab his cell "Come on, come on" Chuck said aloud as he grabbed his phone and dialed Ellie's number furiously. "Pick up, pick up."

_Hi, you have reached Ellie and Devon, please leave a message after the beep…_

"Ellie, hey it's Chuck, look I just wanted you to know that if you watch the news, what you see it's not what you think. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was just thinking and the ranger was talking to me and I slipped was all. Look I will be back in a few hours I m packing now and coming home ok. If you get this I will be home soon. I love you El."

With that Chuck hung up the phone and dialed one other number. "When the phone picked up on the other end Chuck just spoke rapidly. "Hello Saul"…..

After talking with Saul, Chuck decided it would be best if he stayed the night and calm down so that he make his way back with a clear head and sunlight.

So he ordered a pizza and beer to be delivered to the room. After that, Chuck laid back and closed his eyes. He could have sworn that his eyes were only closed for a few moments when there was a knock on the door.

Chuck opened the door to find the pizza guy there with his delivery. He looked at his watch and noticed that 45 minutes had gone by already. He gave the driver a tip, and after grabbing a beer placed the rest of the beer in the mini fridge. After opening the beer he took a long swig of nectar of the gods Chuck closed his eyes and picked up the remote control for the T.V. Once he heard the power switch on, he opened his eyes and flipped thru what few channels he had until an old black and white movie caught his eye. _Mr. Smith goes to Washington._ It was Kayla's favorite movie. Chuck leaned his head back against the head board and closed his eyes. A lone tear fell down his cheek as the memory hit him.

* * *

**The Past**

_Chuck was getting the popcorn while Kayla picked the movie out for that nights entertainment. They were staying in for the weekend at Kayla's place, so they could have privacy. The frat house only offered so much._

_When Chuck had returned to the couch he noticed the black and white movie on the screen. "What's this" Chuck asked quizzically._

"_Well that's Jimmy Stewart, and that there is Jean Arthur."_

"_Riggght but what's with the movie? I know it's a classic but…?"_

_Chuck took his place at the end of the couch and Kayla put her head in his lap. He placed a piece of popcorn in her mouth and felt her smile._

"_But?" Kayla urged him to complete his sentence._

"_But why are we watching it? I thought tonight was romance and musical night, either Footloose or Phantom of the Opera."_

_Kayla relaxed a little more and twisted so she could look into his eyes and smiled._

_With a non committal shrug Kayla replied "It's my favorite movie, and I watch it anytime I see it on T.V."_

"_Ok, so why is it your favorite movie?" Chuck asked while popping a piece of popcorn into his and her mouth._

_She placed her palm on his face and traced her finger along his jaw line feeling the five o clock shadow that had grown in over the course of the day._

"_Because it shows that one man, or one person, can make a difference. I know it's just a movie, but you can really feel Jimmy Smith's passion as he holds Congress in a filibuster for twenty four hours."_

"_You know Wilton Knight said those same words to Michael Long on his death bed in the pilot of the NBC series Knight Rider." Chuck replied with a chuckle while Kayla leaned up tangling her fingers in his curls and kissed him. _

"_You are are such a nerd." Kayla's eyes unfocused for a second before her eyes went back to Chuck's "Plus my dear, he reminds me of you, and before you say it, yes this was my favorite movie before you. What can I say you're my Jimmy Smith."_

_Chuck leaned down and kissed her.  


* * *

_**The Present**

Chuck opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling and silently replied _I will be that guy and make a difference. _ For the first time in close to two weeks sleep came easy for Chuck Bartowski.

Chuck woke up the next morning and stretched; grabbed a shower and finished the pizza from last night. He opened the door to his hotel room and slipped on his sunglasses. Backpack on his back and helmet in hand he walked over to the office and settled his bill. Once he was done he then straddled the bike and placed the helmet over his head and was off on his drive home.

Seven hours later he arrived at Stanford and pulled up to the apartment building that he and Kayla were to have shared. Chuck took off his helmet and took a deep breath. He then walked into the building, nodding to the doorman as he entered and went straight to the elevator. As the elevator door shuts the doorman picks up his cell and dials three numbers.

Chuck exited the elevator and walked up to the door. As he slid the key in the lock he just stood there for what seemed like an eternity. _ Why cant I stop my fingers from shaking. Come on its just an apartment. Yeah, our apartment,_

After a cleansing breath he turned the key and opened the door. As it opened he flashed back to when he was looking at the apartment.

* * *

**The Past**

_The door opened and Chuck walked in and heard "I think you found your apartment Mr. Bartowski_."

_He replied "I think we have found our temporary apartment future Mrs. Bartowski." Chuck said with a smile as he tossed the key to Kayla. "I just signed the lease, we can move in anytime."_

_Kayla ran and jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, almost knocking him over, as she gave him a smoldering kiss before pulling back and saying "Our apartment"  


* * *

_**The Present**

Chuck came out of the memory standing in the middle of the living room. As he looked around there were a few packed boxes but much of the apartment was as it was as when he left. He heard a knock on the door and turned to find Bryce standing there.

Bryce walked in and pulled Chuck into a hug and just said "I am sorry".

Chuck just stood there for a moment and then gave him a hug back. After a few moments they broke apart. Bryce got a smile on his face and looked down and said. "Soo want to tell me bout the helmet?"

Chuck looked down and noticed it was still in his hands. Shrugging his shoulder Chuck replied "Well, I needed to be alone for awhile, and I needed a ride, so I bought it."

"I kinda heard Ellie was pissed. She called me after she got the phone call from some guy telling her about it."

"I bet, that was Saul, come on sit down and I'll tell you what's been going on." They sat on the couch and Chuck told him his story. Bryce had remembered seeing the video of some guy almost falling off an adobe monument in the Arizona desert.

"Wait' that was you?"

"Fraid so"

Bryce pulled a notebook from his backpack and spoke up "Listen Chuck I did some search work for you and I…." Bryce was interrupted by Chuck's hand.

"Bryce before you go on, I need to tell you something. I am not staying. I am moving back to Burbank for now. I will finish my degree when I am ready."

Chuck took a deep breath and continued. "Right now I need to start training for my new career and find a lawyer. I need to figure out what to do about declaring Kayla dead so I can bury her here with us, me, her family."

Bryce stood up and paced around the room for a second taking everything in. He then picked up his notepad and handed it to Chuck.

" On that note I did some preliminary work for you. I spoke to Monty Ellsworth, our pre law frat brother. Normally you can't declare someone dead unless they have been missing for seven years."

Chuck hung his head.

"However" Chuck looked back up

The Governor of New York has issued a Death in Absenteeism Decree. Anyone who was in the World Trade Center will be declared dead, missing or not to move the process along. You just have to prove she was there." Bryce paused and in a softer tone said "If you still have that picture of her there, that will do just fine."

Chuck breathed a sigh of relief when there was a knock at the door.

Bryce answered it and turned to Chuck with a skeptical look on his face.

Chuck looked at his friend and simply asked "Who is it?"

Bryce stepped to the right and swung his arm as if inviting someone in and as he cleared the way Jill Roberts walked in.

"Hi Chuck" she said rather sheepishly.

Chuck rubbed the back of his neck for a minute and finally replied "Uh, hi Jill"

"Look Chuck, I don't want to be a bother. I just brought over some food for you and to tell you how sorry I am about Kayla. I know we didn't know each other very well, but I know she was everything to you. If you need anything, anything at all, just call me."

Jill walked over to the side table and placed the food on it. While she was there she wrote her phone number down and left it for Chuck. So glanced at Bryce and whipped her head forward and started to leave the apartment. Just before she shut the door she looked back at Chuck and smiled and said "Remember, call me if you need anything, anything at all"

"Uh Bryce, what was that? You didn't sleep with her and then ditch her did you?"

Bryce just shook his head, only Chuck could be that dense.

"No Chuck I didn't sleep with her, not that I didn't try, she just wanted no part of me. That was a woman who has had a crush on you since freshman physics. You were just never interested enough in her to see it."

"I'm still not Bryce" Chuck rubbed his face for a second then continued. "I'm not good for anyone right now and I don't know when or if I ever can be."

"It's cool bro; we can at least see what she brought to eat."

Chuck lowered his head and chuckled; only Bryce could think with his stomach at a time like this. As they were taking the container out of the there was another knock at the door.

Chuck turned to Bryce and asked "Did you guys have a hotline?"

Bryce lowered his head and replied "Greg the door man actually."

Chuck opened the door to see Ellie and Devon.

As soon as Ellie saw Chuck she started to cry. She walked in and grabbed him into the biggest hug that she could.

As the Brother and sister shared a moment, Chuck looked up and saw Devon. He had known his brother in law for awhile now. The look he saw reflecting in Devon's, eyes was something completely new he had never seen Devon so angry. The fact that the look was being directed his way spoke volumes..

Chuck extended his hand out to Devon, but his brother in law just nodded his head towards the door. Chuck glanced back towards his sister and Bryce and spoke up "Sis we will be back in a minute." Ellie stood there for a minute. She had an idea of what was going on but held back while Chuck and Devon walked outside.

Once in the hallway Chuck turned toward Devon just as his fist collided with Chuck's face.

"Dude that was not awesome. How could you just leave us like that?"

"You feel better now?" Chuck asked rubbing his jaw.

"Yeah, look man we are family. Next time talk to me before you just up and leave ok?"

"Devon, I know I put you in a bad spot with Ellie and I agree the punch was necessary. I just didn't want to be talked out of it and we both know that's what you would have done. So we good?" Chuck asked after a moment rubbing his jaw.

"Yeah bro we're good." Devon clapped Chuck on the back.

"By the way, how come Morgan didn't come with you?" Chuck asked.

"The bearded one is still a little afraid of you man. He loves you but damn you laid into him after he talked to Ellie."

"I was upset Devon, I didn't mean to lash out at him."

"I know bro, but grief can sneak up on you when you least expect it. Just talk to him."

"I will once we get back to Burbank."

Just as Chuck reentered the apartment, Ellie turned around and was standing there with the motorcycle helmet in her hand. Devon leaned in and whispered "Now you have to survive hurricane Ellie."

Devon walked over to where Bryce was standing and shook his head while grabbing a plate of food.

First Ellie went off on Chuck about leaving and buying the bike. Chuck took it like a man and sat there on the couch letting Ellie vent on him. Devon took a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and tossed them to Chuck to put on his jaw while he let His wife vent.

Ellie never even noticed the bag of peas. She just went on and on about the bike until she over heard a woman's name mentioned between Bryce and Devon.

"By the way where did you guys get this food from? It's good."

"Jill brought it over for Chuck."

"Who's Jill?" Ellie stopped midstream.

Bryce took a bite of an apple and responded "Well, she is Chuck's not so secret admirer. Chuck felt the blood rise in his cheeks a little a bit.

Ellie turned to Chuck and put her hands on her hips. "Charles Irving Bartowski you had better not be leading that poor girl on."

Bryce jumped in and spoke up for Chuck. "Ellie, Chuck has told her he is not interested, she was just being friendly."

"Thanks Bryce" Chuck spoke up while he got off the couch and he tossed the bag of peas back to Devon.

"Chuck, why where you…."But Ellie stopped mid sentence as Chuck put his hand in front of her face. "Really Ellie, I just lost my fiancée, the woman I love more than my own life. You really think I'm that shallow, and callous a person to lead a poor college student on. Do you?"

Ellie's heart broke for her brother at the realization of what she had said. She rushed over to him and enveloped him into another bear hug. When she heard him wincing and whispering that she was squeezing the life out of him she reluctantly let him go. "Now Charles, just because we are past all this for the moment don't think that for one second I lost track of the black eye that you have." Chuck glanced at Devon and he looked back towards Ellie.

"Ok, what is going on with all the secret glances…." But Ellie was interrupted by Devon clearing his throat. "Hrrmph umm Chuck, when you move back to Burbank we will start your training."

Ellie's head was spinning and going a million miles a minute. "Woah, you're moving back to Burbank and training for what?"

Chuck brought his hands to his face and pressed his palms together like he was praying. After squeezing his eyes shut really hard he opened them again to find a glaring Ellie staring at him.

For his part Devon, stood off to the side allowing Chuck to break the news himself. Meanwhile, Bryce joined Ellie in the center of the room with his arms crossed waiting for Chuck's latest announcement.

Chuck raised his eyes and brought his hands down on his knees and pushed himself up. He walked over to them and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "Ellie, Bryce I want you both to know that I appreciate everything that you have done for me. Between going to the Dean on my behalf, and speaking to my landlord and just taking care of a few things here as well. But there is no way I will be finishing school at this moment. I may revisit it in a few years, but for now I have another calling."

Chuck took a pause until Ellie broke the silence and spoke up. "Ok so what is it?"

"In a little less than six months the next training class for the LAPD starts in session, and I will be one of their newest recruits."

Chuck wasn't sure what he was expecting, but Bryce's reaction surprised him.

Bryce just turned and walked to the window and just stared out.

Ellie, well was Ellie, she went off with tears streaming down her face again. Ellie went off. "How am I supposed to protect you if you do that? NO, NO, I will not allow it." Devon came up to her side and she turned into his chest and silently sobbed for a minute while Chuck tried to find the right words.

"Ell…" but his was interrupted. "No Chuck, you are not doing this. First mom and then Dad and now Kayla, I can't lose you too."

Chuck stepped back and when Ellie looked into his bloodshot eyes she could see the raw emotion on his face. "Ellie, I'm lost already and at the moment this is the only thing that makes sense to me. If you can't support me, well then I will miss you, but I am doing this."

Ellie sighed realizing that once her brother had made up his mind it was done. She walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders and spoke softly. "Chuck promise me you will be careful"

"I will sis, I promise."

Ellie poked her finger into his chest to get her next point across. "Chuck I swear on all that is holy, if you get hurt I promise you that I will heal you and then kill you my self. Chuck you know can have your old room back."

"Thanks El, but only till I find myself my own place, there are too many memories in the room that I would like to avoid for now. So a few weeks tops. I need a fresh start."

Chuck pulled Ellie into a hug and Devon joined in just saying awesome.

As the night wound down, Chuck told Ellie and Devon to use the bedroom and that he would sleep on the couch. They protested but he told them that it just held way to many memories right now.

Chuck came back from using the bathroom and Bryce was just sitting on the couch with a beer. "You have been awful quiet for the last few hours what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Just going over the realization that we won't be having any more games of dart tag or that the midnight beer runs. Also, that you're going to be a cop man."

He threw Chuck a mock salute while Chuck grabbed another beer for himself as he came over and just replied "It's been a wild ride."

Chuck sat down next to Bryce and replied "Yeah it has. Look Bryce just because I am leaving doesn't mean that we will never hang out again."

"I will only be a few hours away and you're like a brother to me."

They clasped hands and then Bryce left for the night and Chuck stretched out on the couch. Four days later he was back in Burbank looking for apartments. Ellie was still not happy about the bike, but Chuck just thought to himself it was what it was. The old apartment had been emptied and all its contents placed in a storage locker by Ellie's apartment. He had sent in his application and Devon had started his training regimen.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter, a sick 1 year old will do that. That said this chapter went thru a more then a few rewrites. But thanks to some help from a very great writer it got back on track with a whole new idea. You know who you are. I also need to thank my beta Bdaddydl for keeping me on it. He is without a doubt one of the best writers, friends, betas anyone can have. And is not afraid to tell me when i am going to far. That said as requested from a review from last chapter, **you may not want to read this at work**, it may or may not be as emotional as some previous chapters, i will leave that up to you but i don't want anyone breaking down and being questioned by their coworkers again. last please review the last chapter was the least reviewed it helps me to make sure that im not going to far or if i am i need to know. and as for another review there is something at the end that i think you will like. this will be the second to last bouncing around chapter. the next chapter will be Sarah's worst day ever, and then we will make a full circle into the present time, Then well life will begin to take shape. I want to thank everyone for their support and of course to my wife and daughter i love you guys. Oh, and whoever is the first to review and the 100 reviewer will both get a short excerpt from the next chapter. Also, to whoever can tell me what movie s being hinted at in the first chapter.

Chapter 7

**Sarah February 12, 2002**

Lt Colonel Claire (John) Chennault was not happy. Ever since he graduated from the US Air force Academy there was one rule he was taught over and over. Never ask a subordinate to do something you wouldn't do. He had graduated in 1970, and in thirty plus years of military and then covert operations he never broke that rule. Today he was going to do just that because of a much newer rule. Never ever wake up a sleeping agent. Unless the plane is going to crash, or the flight has landed. You better make sure you're going to crash.

"Morrison, you need to go and wake up the agent in the back."

Lieutenant Marion Morrison looked at the Colonel with his eyes opened wide, and his mouth slightly parted for a moment until he said. "John, you did hear what she did in England right?"

"Yes I did, but if we do not wake her up, the consequences could be dire."

"Yeah, for me Colonel."

"True, but you are younger. You, my young L T will heal faster."

Morrison made it to the agent's chair. At least as close as he dared to where where Agent Burton was sitting. "Umm... Agent Burton. Ma'am…. Agent Burton"

When she opened her eyes the pilot felt like he had been struck by cold blue steel.

"Ma'am, we have Director Graham on the horn."

Hers eyes seemed to melt just a bit and she said "Thank you"

Burton grabbed the phone and Morison made a beeline for the cockpit. "Agent Burton, how can I help you?"

"Jennifer, how was the mission?"

"Not bad Director. We were able to recover the file from the money man of the Hand of Allah. As a bonus, I don't think we will worry about Habib causing many problems."

Jenny heard the director exhale loudly. Jenny closed her eyes. _Nothing good ever comes from that sound._

"Agent Burton, let's review the last few missions, shall we, I won't even mention what happened in England." The sound of rustling papers was clearly heard over the phone. "In Mexico you got the job done in half the time you were given, but your partner ended up waking up in a brothel in Tijuana.

"He wanted to treat me like a hooker; I set him up with hookers"

"He was handcuffed to the bed with a transvestite and henna tattoo of Ho Monger on his chest."

"It wasn't a permanent tattoo, Director"

"After that, I sent you and agent Forrest to get info from the ambassador to Italy. Just get information. He has been recalled and receiving intense psychological counseling."

"Well, he wanted a night to remember. Who knew Forrest was into S&M. Besides, I was just surveillance."

"You always get the mission accomplished Burton, but I don't see why it was necessary last week to blackmail the ambassador. I know he's an idiot, but he really helped in the president in his campaign. I do not like twenty minute phone calls from the president's Chief of Staff."

Jenny was now sitting straight up in her chair. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She did not have to wait long.

"So, what is my next assignment, sir?" Burton asked.

"You have one day of downtime Agent. Then you're off to Morocco. Burton, let's not have any more hiccups like this last assignment. I'd hate to have a bad assignment tarnish your otherwise stellar reputation." With that the Director hung up the phone and sat back and contemplated his next move.

Nine hours later Agent Burtons plane landed. She drove back at her apartment, and immediately pulled out her family phone out of the hidden wall safe. She than dialed her mom.

It went straight to voicemail.

Jennifer sat back on the couch and closed her eyes as she began to leave her message. "Hi momma, I am sorry about how things ended on my last visit. I am only in my apartment for today, then I am back on a goodwill tour with the ambassador. I love all you guys so much and I miss you, yes even dad. I'll only be able to check my voicemail where I am going, but as soon as I get back I will call you to check in. Love you mom, Sarah."

Sarah sat on her couch and just fell asleep the next day she was on a plane to Morocco.

* * *

**Two Months Later**

Director Graham was sitting at his desk rubbing his jaw reading the report in front of him regarding Sarah Walker, when his intern buzzed.

"Yes" Graham answered as his pressed the intercom button.

"Director Graham Agent Burton is on line two."

Graham sighed and put the paper down and hit line two.

"Sir Mission complete."

"Congratulations Agent, I now need you in West Post Africa next. Then, I have a few other missions for you, and then there is a joint CIA/DEA mission in Brazil that I will need you to join."

"Sir, I was hoping for a little down time. Normally after a lengthy assignment like the last two that I have been on, you give me some down time. I could really use the time to visit my family."

"Are you burnt out agent?"

Jenny almost gasped, but kept her composure and answered "No Sir."

"Good, then the pilot will reroute you and you will be given a brief by the local contact Graham out." Langston Graham leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes hearing Roan Montgomery's words coming back to haunt him as he gazed at the paper in his hands one more time.

_This job will always be important to her, but you need to keep a close eye on her. One day something will be more important to her. If she falls in love, or if her family needs her. All bets are off._

Graham crumpled the report up in his hands and threw it against the wall. Graham's secretary heard him yell "I hate this damned job today."

* * *

**October 2002 inside the rain forest of Brazil.**

"I swear to god Carina if we get out of this alive I am so gonna kick your ass." Burton screamed while running threw the rainforest.

"It's not my fault Burton, if you would have just compromised your ideals one time and slept with the Calderon brother like he wanted, I wouldn't have been caught poking around the office looking for the export schedule on his computer."

Jumping over a fallen tree Burton yelled back. "I am sorry I am not loose like you but…"

"It's been four years Burton." Carina interrupted. "Four years, you know it doesn't come back" Carina shouted as a bullet whizzed by her head.

Jennifer drew her Mp5 and stopped behind a tree to catch her breath and get a good look at her surroundings. Bullets were striking trees in random patterns which meant they had a sizable lead on their pursuers, however that lead was shrinking by the minute. "What doesn't come back?"

"Your virginity" Carina said as she gulped in air. They had been on the run for over a half hour now and they still weren't making any progress out of this hell hole of a jungle.

Burton spotted an old hollowed out tree trunk about twenty meters ahead. She looked at Carina who was peaking out from behind her tree also when another bullet whizzed by her head.

"Rina toss me your spare piece."

"No way" Carina said as she avoided stepping into something else she didn't want to think about, ever.

"Just do it and I'll save our asses!"

Carina grumbled but reluctantly tossed her the gun.

"Now keep going north, run as fast as you can, but keep leading them this way."

"What are you going to do Jenny?"

"What I have to. Now Go! Fire your other gun every five minutes for the next twenty."

As Carina pushed off the tree and made a run for it, Jenny ran to the log and climbed into it.

She was on her back inching her way through the mud and grime that had built up inside the tree trunk. She kept wiggling and quietly as possible sweat dripping across her forehead as she made her way thru bugs and sticks and mud towards the middle of the tree. She felt something sharp poke her in her side but she couldn't tell if it had broken threw the skin. As she settled into her position she felt a millipede fall into her hair and climb down her face while she felt a spider crawling across her breast. Jenny held her breath, as she heard approaching foot steps.

There were cracks in the tree trunk on the top of the tree so she could see up the backside of the fallen tree. She now had a clear picture of the forest in front of her. All of a sudden she felt something slither up her leg. She tried to kick it off when she heard he first boot step onto the log.

She tried to push past the insects and snakes around her and clenched onto the weapon in her hand. As she wiped the sweat from her eyes that was blurring her vision she took aim to the left on the back of the tree the first soldier had cleared the tree and she was waiting for the rest to do the same. She knew there were at least 10 to 15 soldiers after them. The little surprise that she and Carina had left back at the main gate of the compound had taken care of the majority of the men but the few that were remaining were after them now.

As the men climbed over the log she watched and waited. All of a sudden she felt her neck starting to burn she wiped her hand across the back of her neck and she had fire ants on it. They were biting her skin. Her finger clenched down on the trigger, but she held firm. Once they were all passed she waited a few minutes until she heard no more on the other side. She took her Mp5 and unleashed a barrage of bullets into the backs of the men chasing the duo. When the last men fell, she shut her eyes, and dropped the empty weapon.

That's when she heard the sound of a gun being cocked.

She looked thru the cracks of the tree trunk and saw a pair of yellow eyes staring down at her with a red dot on her chest. He shouted in Brazilian for her to get out of the tree trunk.

She slowly backed out of the tree trunk as the man followed her down the trunk until he was standing in front of the opening with his weapon trained on her. He motioned for her to continue. Jenny pulled a knife out of her thigh holster the next time she was in a patch of darkness and put it in her hair bun before she slid out of the trunk. As the sunset was fast approaching she tossed the back up gun on the ground and raised her hands. His eyes traveled down her body and Jenny took advantage of his momentary distraction and pulled the knife from her hair and launched it at the man. As it sliced through the air it embedded itself in the mans neck.

After he fell to the ground, Jenny picked up the man's gun, and went rifled through his pockets. She took his money and weapons, and went out in search of Carina.

After tracking her movements for three hours, she found her behind a waterfall. As she made her way behind the waterfall she was greeted by Carina's Smith and Wesson pointed at her face.

"Hey there friend, it's just me."

Carina's face showed anger as well "Christ Burton! Where the hell did you come from?"

"Yeah that's about right" Jenny replied.

"What happened to the men?"

"They wont be bothering us again, now here hold this stuff, I need to wash myself off. The bugs around here really bit the hell out of me."

"No problem, as long as I get to watch" Carina laughed

"You can watch all you want, just know that your tricks will never work on me. So tell me, where do we go from here?"

"I believe if we go another few miles to the west we will run into a town which we can then take a bus back to civilization."

"Sounds like a plan, do you still have the information?"

"Yes, and it is secure, so lets get some sleep and get the hell out of this damn jungle."

While Burton was washing Carina looked at her temporary partner. "So what did happen with the MI6 agent."

"Carina, I know you want to know, but I wont talk about it."

With the intense look from Jenny, things were quiet till she had washed off and had come back into the cave, Carina had pulled some plants that held medicinal properties, and placed them on the bug bites and what not. After that, they fell asleep.

The next two days was filled with them making it to a little civilization and taking a bus back to Brazil's capital. Once there they met up with their contact and contacted their bosses. Carina was on the next flight out to D.C. and Jenny was supposed to be on a plane to Burma.

"Hey Rina, mind if I borrow your sat phone to check my messages?"

"Hey its not my dime go ahead" Carina tossed Jenny the phone.

_You have 36 new messages…first message….Hi Miss Walker this is Leland…_**Delete**..._next message…Hi Miss Walker, this is Leland Krantz of…_**Delete**_…_the next 33 messages were the same way. Jenny was starting to get worried she had never gone this long without hearing form her mom. She decided no matter what the last message was she would listen to the final message.

"Carina, do you have a pen? Something is not right"

"Yeah hold on, here you go."

_Miss Walker, it is of the utmost importance that you call my firm back Stottlemeyer, Monk, and Krantz. I can not go into details however just know that I am an attorney and we have been trying to reach you for the last six months. So please as soon as you get this message call us back immediately._

_Message has been saved, no new messages._

"Rina, you mind if I catch a flight with you to D.C., something is defiantly up and I need to get back there now?"

"Weren't you assigned a mission in Burma?"

"Yeah, but something is not right in Eight months I have not gotten a single call from my mom or family yet I have 36 messages from some attorney and for the last eight months I have been sent on mission after mission back to back without a break in between something is not right and I intend to find out what."

"Sure come on, the plane leaves in an hour."

* * *

**September 11, 2002. LaGuardia Airport.**

Charles Bartowski exited the jetway gang plank and looked out over the busy airport.

Things had certainly turned around. Who would have thought that things could have changed so much in just a year. As the military guards and police walking through the terminals with their weapons slung to their back. He took a deep breath, and he slung his back pack over his shoulder, and placed his LAPD baseball cap on his head hiding the curls that had started to form over the last few weeks and set out in search of the exit to find a cab. As he exited La Guardia Airport he noticed the fine mist of rain that was coming down. He saw a cab pull up and saw the man look into his eyes and he just nodded. As he entered the cab, he scratched the shadow of a beard that had started to grow over the last few days. He told the cabbie where to go, leaned back, and closed his eyes.

Chuck thought back to how fast the last eleven months flew by. He had been able to declare Kayla dead enough that he was aloud to bury an almost empty casket. There were still a few legal proceedings that he had to deal with, but he was at least able to get her buried. He placed some sand from their beach in there and a picture of the two of them. Even though her body wasn't in there, he hoped that at least her spirit would find some peace with a souvenir of the two of them together in there. It was a simple ceremony their friends and family came to, and somehow even Jill Roberts showed up.

Thanks to his brother in law Awesome, he was also in the best shape of his life. His once lanky frame, was now lean and muscular. His sister was amazed at the changes that began before entering the academy, and continued since he completed his training. He had graduated at the top of his class from the LAPD training academy, and was now a part of the motorcycle division with his training officer, Jon Baker.

The tension between himself, and his sister, that had begun that night at the family dinner was finally over. It had lasted two weeks, and in all honesty, Chuck needed his sister to help with his grieving process, but she also needed time to learn to deal with the new Chuck. The time went by rather quickly, Bryce and Morgan helped him move his stuff into an apartment that he had found by the Malibu beach. In the following months, he had also gotten his brown belt in judo while going on extreme adventures with Awesome.

Chuck had opened his eyes slightly and noticed that they were now traveling over the Brooklyn Bridge and entering the heart of the city. As he closed his eyes once mor,e his mind traveled back to a week ago to an argument that he had had with his commanding officer Commander Diane Beckman.

* * *

**September 5, 2002**

Chuck had just come off a ten hour shift when he heard his name being called out.

"Officer Bartowski, a moment."

Chuck stepped into the office and stood at attention.

"Sit down officer Bartowski."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Mr. Bartwoski, over the last few months that you have been under my command you have performed exemplary."

"Thank you Ma'am."

Commander Beckman, for being such a short lady could be very intimidating. Chuck wasn't sure whether it was the fiery red hair, or the sunk back eyes that looked like they were boring a hole threw your head, but he unconsciously started to squirm in his chair. She folded her hands in front of her, and took a deep breath.

"That said, why has your performance and temper become erratic in the last few days? Officer Baker has noted that it seems like you could snap at any moment."

"Ma'am I…."

"Don't interrupt me Officer. I requested your personnel file from Division."

Chuck bowed his head. He knew what was coming, he had fought to keep it out if the hands of anyone who could use it to treat him differently.

"Do you know what I found out when I read your file Officer Bartowski?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Beckman slammed the file folder in front of her closed and slid it to the left of her.

"You lost someone close to you a year ago next week."

Chuck looked up with a fire in his eyes and started to reply "Ma'am I…"

Beckman cut him off again. "Officer Bartowski, I did not tell you that you could speak or interrupt me. Now I am not your friend, I am your commanding officer. I should have been told about this when you entered my command."

"Yes Ma'am." Chuck replied as his knuckles turned white underneath the table. His back was straight and was facing straight ahead.

"I can not have a potentially unstable and volatile officer on duty."

"With all due respect Ma'am, I'll be ok"

"That may or may not be true. The fact of the matter is, you should have come to me, and I would have been able to help you."

Beckman opened up the folder again and took out a piece of paper and slid it in front of him. "As of this moment you are on administrative leave until the 14th. Get out of town. Clear your head. You can have a good career ahead of you just stay focused."

Chuck nodded his head and got the approval to leave.

**Sept 11, 2002 New York City  
**

* * *

That's how he found himself here on today of all days. As the cab pulled up to the excavation site Chuck looked at his watch and saw that it was 7:00am. Preparations were well under way to commemorate the tragedy that had befallen upon an unsuspecting nation only a year earlier.

The crowd was growing as mourners and passerby's started to collect in the designated areas around the demolished buildings. The day was still overcast and the sky shed light silent tears for the brave men and women who had lost their lives that horrific day. Nearly 3,000 Men and women lost their lives that day. Among the 2,752 victims of the day 343 firefighters lost their lives, 60 police officers and 19 terrorists had lost their lives. Among the victims were military men and women at the Pentagon, sons, daughters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, secretaries and office runners, and the untold, lost number of tourists who lost their lives that day. Never to be accounted for as the guest log books were lost forever as the towers fell. Only to be remembered by their friends and family, who knew they were there just like his Kayla.

Chuck made his way towards the entrance of the excavation site and flashed his badge at the security guard who waved him through.

Security was tight and even though professional courtesy would normally be extended, the fear of another attack on a day we were remembering was too much. Chuck was stopped not ten feet past the entrance. Officer Taylor, came up to Chuck and was turning him away when Chuck began to explain why he was there. Once Officer Taylor learned that Chuck lost someone that day, and that he had been there to help with the recovery, he radioed his boss and asked if there was anything they could do.

A few moments later he came back over to Chuck. "Look I can escort you to the base of Tower 2, but only for ten minutes. The ceremony will be starting soon."

"Of course. Thanks. Please lead the way." Chuck motioned that he would follow the officer. Once they cleared the gates the smell of that fateful day year ago today came back to Chuck. He wobbled for just a second, and grabbed a hold of a twisted piece of metal sticking out of the ground. Officer Taylor looked back at him but Chuck just motioned for him to continue.

As they walked through the maze of Construction walls Chuck noticed the amount of flowers that were haphazardly thrown into the excavation site from passer byes. As they traversed the still dangerous ground, memories of the day that Chuck, Devon, and Morgan arrived at the site came flooding back to him. The people mourning, the men working hard, burning steel trying to get into the mangled superstructure. The bodies that they found. Those are memories that will never leave him no matter what happens for the rest of his life. After a few moments Chuck arrived at his destination. The officer who led him there stood to the side to give him as much privacy as he could. Chuck took his hat off and tucked it into his back pocket.

He lowered his head and remembered the last time he was here, the heat and twisted metal and the smell. Oh goodness, the smell had permeated every pore and airway that he had. He then remembered the last words spoken by his beloved Kayla.

_Beloved, I will be home soon. We should come back here together. You'd love this view, it is amazing. I am sorry about last night; I miss you just as much. Love Kayla, atop the 85__th__ floor._

Tears streamed down his face, as he knelt down in the dirt and mud created by the mist that had been falling steadily that morning. All the emotions he had been holding in came flooding back to the surface.

Officer Taylor looked at his watch while rubbing tears from his eyes and noticed that the ten minutes they had been given were up but couldn't bring himself to interrupt the moment. He himself knew a few of the men that lost their lives that day. So he just leaned back against the wall and let the stranger in front of him get it all out.

Chuck pulled a plastic bag out of his pocket and grabbed a handful of dirt and placed it into the bag.

"Kayla my love, today marks the day that I will start over and try to begin to move on with my life. You will never be forgotten sweetheart, and you will always live in here." Chuck padded his chest right where his heart was.

"This dirt is to symbolize the last place you stood, and I will place some of it in the ground on top of your casket. I will also keep some for myself to always have a piece of you with me.

Chuck stood up and lifted the back of his jacket and pulled a pink Gerber Daisy out from his jacket and tossed it on the ground beneath his feet. "I brought you your favorite flower one last time my beloved. My heart will always be with you, and I will see you again one day."

With that he ran his hands through his hair one more time and slipped the LAPD cap back on to his head.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Officer Taylor?"

"It would be an honor to trade caps with you sir."

Chuck gave the man a weak smile and a nod. They traded caps and began to make their way up to the top of the excavation site. Once they were there, Chuck discreetly made his way back to the crowd. Sat back and listened, as all that could be heard throughout the normally loud city was rain drops seaming to explode into the ground.

Starting at 8:44 am they started reading the names of the men and women who lost their lives that day.

At 9:59 am the exact moment the first Tower fell two beams of light representing the Twin Towers and America's unwavering response to freedom were sent through the heavens into the dark days sky. Chuck watched as they lit the eternal flame that will never go out as a remembrance of the souls lost that day and that their spirit will live on forever.

After the ceremony ended, the crowds lingered paying their respects, all the while, Chuck just sat there on a nearby bench, and thought about his past and future. Mainly, he thought about the woman his eyes would never see again.

It was now 9:00pm and the lights were still shining brightly into the night when Chuck finally felt his phone vibrate inside his jacket pocket. Bryce had made him get one when he graduated the academy. He wanted to make sure that they could get a hold of him to make sure he was ok.

He flipped one the phone and muttered to himself. _Christ, 39 missed calls _and his text box was full.

He hit speed dial #2 and got Bryce.

"Chuck Bro, where the hell have are you? We have been worried sick. You just disappeared two days ago."

"I'm in New York. I needed to be here Bryce. I needed to let her go, and whether this will provide the closure I needed... I don't know. It was what I had to do. I'll be back tomorrow."

Bryce sighed and responded questioningly. "Ya sure you're ok?"

After waiting for a second, for a response Bryce spoke up again. "Chuck you know we are al here for you. Even Jill was here looking for you. No one wanted you to be alone today."

"I know Bryce; I know I just needed to do this on my own."

"Chuck, it wouldn't be so bad if you'd just talk to us, but you keep everything bottled up. It's not healthy."

"Bryce I get it, and like I said before I'm ok. So stop channeling your inner Ellie, and why don't you find away to get Jill to move on huh? I am not interested in anything more then friendship."

"Dude, I have tried, but she only has eyes for you. Ahh, we will come up with something."

"Thanks Bryce. Look can you let Ellie and Morgan know that I will be home soon?" Chuck asked. It didn't sound like it, but Chuck was dreading making another phone call today.

"Sure, do you need a pick up from the airport?"

"No, I have my Bike there in short term parking."

"Ok, oh before I forget. Your gonna be there for your birthday celebration right? I men you only turn twenty seven once."

The silence was deafening, Bryce wasn't sure he hadn't been hung up on. It took a sigh from the other end of the phone to know. "Chuck, don't make me beg. Ellie wants to celebrate your birthday back in Echo Park."

"Bryce, she's going to invite all her single doctors and nurse friends."

"I know, it will be great, think of the amount of numbers I will get."

"Ha ha, Bryce I'm just not ready yet."

"Hey don't worry, one day you will be ready to get back on that horse, or someone will come into your life, and you just won't be able to say no. Kayla would want that you know."

"I know, I know." Chuck said threw tears as he chocked back a sob. Holding his head up with his hand on his knee.

"Hey, its ok man. Listen Morgan and I will deflect the ladies from you ok."

Chuck tried to smile as he replied "Ok, but if Ellie tries to trap me I'm gone."

"Deal" Bryce replied.

"Bye Bryce"

"Bye Chuck.

Chuck hit the end button and thought about what Bryce had said about someone coming into his life when he least expected it. There was that blonde blue eyed woman he'd pulled over speeding down the expressway a few weeks ago. She said she was on her way to a job interview at UCLA, with a young boy in the car with her. When their hands touched there was a spark, but he will never see her again. Oh well. It just wasn't time.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Before i get into any explanations for my absence lets take a moment out of respect for two of our own that were tragically pulled away from us too early. Armadillo and Passionovermind. You both will be dearly missed by all. To your family's I express my deepest condolences and Nik if u need anything just let us know. Also Lets remember all the fallen heroes on this day be it soldier, firefighter, police officer, teacher or anyone else who has made an impact in your life. Now that that is out of the way sorry for being gone so long. I had trouble with this chapter. This and the next ones are mainly about Sarah with some chuck sprinkled in. But they are coming. I have also been interviewing for a new job this past two months and it has finally paid off quit the old and start the new next week. Once i get in there my schedule will return and i should be able to write more so maybe one more month or so of taking forever i promise to try and update as soon as possible. I need tot hank everyone who has reviewed thus far and i hope you continue to do so. A big thank you to Bdaddydl for his support and beta and generally just being a great guy and and awesome friend and to PJ Murphy for also helping Beta you guys are awesome. lastly to my wife and daughter i love you guys and thanks for your support. oh and just to give u a glimpse of my life my daughter decide to crawl up the stairs last night and not tell us lol. scary most of you were her when she was born. That said here is chapter 8. please review and tell me what you think. Ken i think this is the start of what you have been waiting for.

* * *

Chapter 8: Sarah's day that changed everything part 1

**Jennifer Burton/Sarah Walker - August 5, 2002**

Jenny's plane arrived at Bolling Air Force Base at 4:30 PM. She thanked Carina again and promised to stay in touch with her to let her know what was going on. As agents, they didn't have many friends, but they tended to stay in touch with the few that they did have.

She took a cab to a post office near the Capitol where she rented a box. She grabbed the obscene bundle of mail that had been building up in it since she had last visited the city. She then headed back to her Georgetown apartment. As soon as she arrived, she hurried inside with little more than a thank you to the cabbie, although the driver wasn't exactly complaining, given the big tip Jenny gave him. As she made her way inside her apartment, she tossed her luggage in the corner and sprinted over to the wall safe to retrieve her family phone.

She listened to the messages that had piled up in her voicemail, the majority of which came from a law firm in San Diego. As it was only 2:30 there, she dialed the number she had gotten from the voicemail messages. A voice came on the line.

"Stottlemeyer, Monk, and Krantz. How may I help you today?"

Jenny schooled herself to keep calm. "Yes, can I speak with Leland Krantz?"

"What is this in reference to?"

Jenny pursed her lips and spoke softly. "Honestly, I am not sure, ma'am. I have been out of the country for a while. However, I seem to have over 20 letters and close to 40 missed calls and voicemails on my phone."

What is your name, Miss?"

"Walker. Sarah Walker."

"Yes, Miss Walker. I will put you through right away. Mr. Krantz has been awaiting your call. Please hold."

A click was followed by music that would put elevator music to sleep. Jenny bit the inside of her cheek._ How long am I going to have to wait?_

Thankfully, the wait was only a few seconds. "Miss Walker?"

"Yes?"

"Miss Sarah Lisa Walker?"

"Yes sir, now ple…" Jenny tried to get out her next thought but was interrupted by the older man's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Miss Walker, my name is Leland Krantz, and I am your family's attorney."

"OK, Mr. Krantz. Can you please tell me why you have been so desperate in trying to reach me? And why can't I reach my family?"

The older man on the other end of the line paused for a moment, and Jenny detected the pitch in his voice slightly change when he spoke next. "Miss Walker, not only am I your family's attorney, I am also a very close family friend and your family will always hold a special place in my heart. That said, how fast can you get to San Diego?"

"Mr. Krantz, what aren't you telling me and why haven't you answered any of my questions?"

Jenny heard a long exhale from Krantz. "Miss Walker, I know there has been bad feeling's between you and your dad, but believe me when I say that he always loved you and the reason I know this is because he confided in me a lot. It's those confidences that are making this call all the more troubling. There has been an accident, and I really don't want to discuss it over the phone."

Jenny's voice slipped briefly as her emotions began to surface. "What accident? Why won't you discuss it?"

"Miss Walker, have you not talked to your boss? I spoke with a Langston Graham over two months ago while trying to reach you."

"You did what?"

"Well, when we could not reach you by any of the numbers available to us and you never answered any of our letters I had to go to the next step. I contacted the American Embassy in Italy and asked for your supervisor.

_Graham,_ she thought to herself. Jenny picked up a letter opener from a nearby desk and threw it as hard as she could at the wall, imagining Langston Graham taking it right between the eyes. She then refocused her thoughts to the man on the phone.

"OK, what did he say?"

"He said he would get a message to you as soon as possible."

Jenny paced back and forth in frustration over both the lack of answers and the new questions now forming in her head over this whole conspiracy with Graham.

"Mr. Krantz, please. Just tell me exactly what the situation is with the accident. Please just tell me."

There was another long pause. "Miss Walker, your family was involved in a hit-and-run car accident."

Jenny's heart dropped. The wall she had been leaning on no longer supported her. She began to sink to the floor as her voice dropped to almost a whisper.

"Was it bad?" she asked with her heart in her throat. Her legs completely gave out on her and she fell to her knees. Her mind kept going back to her last conversation with her father at Christmas.

"It was very bad, yes. But I honestly do not feel comfortable sharing this over the phone."

Wiping a tear from her eye, she struggled to find her footing. "I am in Washington D.C. right now. Let me get a cab to the airport, and I will be there in the next six to eight hours. I just need to book a flight and …."

"Miss Walker, my secretary will arrange a flight, book a hotel, and have a car waiting for you at the airport. Your family is an important client, and we take care of our clients. Once the car picks you up, it will bring you directly to my office and I will meet you here."

"Thank you so much." The words that escaped her quivering lips felt cold and shallow. She didn't have the full story, but from the tone and inflection in his voice she knew to expect the worst. "I will see you when I land."

Jenny hung up the phone and pulled a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka from her freezer. She took a long swig from the bottle. The cold burning sensation from the liquid nearly choked her, but she needed to hold it together for a few more hours.

* * *

**CIA Headquarters**

Langston Graham sat at his desk staring at the remnants of the destroyed phone next to his computer. He had just gotten off the phone with the station chief in Burma, who reported Special Agent Jennifer Burton was a no-show.

He activated the tracer on her cell phone, which apparently was deactivated. He finally put a call into the director of the DEA. He didn't want to admit he had lost an agent, let alone his star agent. He hoped his counterpart at the DEA had talked to Jennifer's friend, Carina.

It was then his personal cell phone buzzed. It was an unknown number, but the message was from someone familiar.

_I know you know. I'm dealing with family. I will deal with you later. Don't bother looking for me. _

_-JB_

Graham whipped his personal phone across the room. It shattered on impact.

_Shit, that's two phones in twenty minutes. _

Graham got on the intercom to his secretary. "Louise, can you please get me the station chief in San Diego? Also, I need a new cell phone and a new desk phone. Thank you."

* * *

**San Diego International Airport - Seven Hours Later **

Sarah Walker exited American Airlines Flight 13 with her suitcase in tow. Thanks to her CIA training, she managed to rein in her emotions and keep her face expressionless throughout the flight. Her stomach, on the other hand, was another story. She was rattled and nauseous the entire flight back to San Diego.

She walked past the baggage carousels to ground transportation. Ahead of her, she saw an unfocused man whose hair looked like he stuck his finger in an electrical outlet. Next to him was a short Indian man with shifty eyes holding up a sign saying .

"Umm, excuse me? I believe you're here for me." The drivers eyes bugged out and his weird little Indian friend leaned in close to him.

"Easy Jeffrey, let her be attracted to our natural musk. Don't scare her away by being too eager."

Lester leered at the stunningly beautiful young woman, who looked considerably annoyed. "Maybe later," he replied to Jeffrey out of the corner of his mouth.

Jenny's eyes shot daggers at that comment. "Not on your life. Now can we go?" Sarah demanded while crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

"Yes, of course," the little man replied, snapping his fingers at his companion. "Get the door, Jeffrey."

The three turned and walked to the doors. Jenny kept a wary eye on the pair for more reasons than agent training.

"I told you not to come on too strong," she heard the diminutive man whisper to his partner. The nausea she felt on the plane only got worse.

After an hour drive from the airport, they arrived at the law offices of Stottlemeyer, Monk, and Krantz. The little Indian fellow rushed over and opened the door.

"Miss Walker," he said in a grandiose fashion as he extended his hand outward with a slight bow. "If you should need anything while in town, like a tour, or other…"

"Finish that sentence and the world will be living with one less Indian lesbian. Understood?" she replied through gritted teeth.

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Sarah smoothed out her pencil skirt, tugged her blouse and jacket back into place, and walked into the building in front of her. As she reached the door, she turned and noticed a 1999 Crown Victoria sitting down the street with a man inside. She wrote it off as someone waiting for his wife to come out of one of the businesses down the street.

As the door shut behind her, the receptionist raised her head. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, hi. My name is Sarah Walker, and I have an appointment with Leland Krantz."

"Of course, Miss Walker. Right this way."

Sarah followed the older woman down the hall to a set of mahogany doors. The woman pushed both doors open, and they entered a room big enough to fit four of her apartments.

"Mr. Krantz, Miss Walker is here to see you."

"Miss Walker, yes. Please come in." The receptionist closed the doors as the elderly gentleman came around the huge desk and took Sarah's hand in his. He placed one palm on top of hers and one underneath.

"Miss Walker…" The older man began to speak.

"Sarah please, Mr. Krantz"

"Yes, of course. Sarah, would you please have a seat?"

Sarah nodded and sat down on a leather chair that sank underneath of her.

Mr. Krantz pulled a chair up next to her and took her hands again. The butterflies in her stomach felt like they were in a cyclone. She saw the older man was going to speak again, but she beat him to the punch.

"Mr. Krantz, I know that you are trying to be calm and comforting, but in all honesty my nerves can't take this. Please just come out and say what it is that you need to say."

Leland took a deep breath and squeezed her hands. When he looked into the eyes of the beautiful young woman in front of him, he saw eyes he had not seen in a long time. The last time had been in a river delta in Southeast Asia a lifetime ago. He saw a perfect storm of contention. The fury of hatred, anguish, and torment all kept locked away in the exterior of someone who was definitely not an ambassador's aide. The same eyes as his first Sergeant after they found the Lieutenant's body tortured and cut up in the village. Devoid of compassion and hard as ice.

"Sarah, when the vehicle collided with your parents' car, your father and sister were killed instantly. The car was struck on the driver's side. Your brother had his seat belt on and was tossed into the door, but aside from lacerations and a sprained wrist and severe emotional trauma, he is OK. He is currently in foster care for now. We can go see him tomorrow once we can get a DCFS agent to meet us at the foster family's home."

Sarah only nodded her head, taking it all in forcing to hold her tears back. But the water welling up in the ducts was close to overwhelming. She reached over onto the desk and with a slightly trembling hand she took the glass of water and sipped on it. The cracks in her armor threatening to separate even further.

"And my mom?"

When the attorney looked at her mom it was hard to speak. He could clearly see that she had a special relationship with her mother and the news he had to share would be almost too much for one persona to handle alone let alone with the bomb that was thrown on her already.

"Sarah, before we speak about your mom, I just want you to know we held a private ceremony for your father and sister already. They were buried in the family plot under the provisions left by your father and mother should anything ever happen to any one of them. That said, your mothers injuries were extensive."

Leland took a sip of water himself to parch his dry throat. He coughed into his hand and continued on. "Sarah, your mom…she…her door was thrown open by the force of the impact. She didn't have a seat belt on, and she was thrown from the car. She impacted her head on the curb."

"You said her injuries were extensive but not life threatening. Will she recover?"

"Sarah, your mom is brain dead," Krantz said as delicately as he could. "She has been on a ventilator she was brought to the hospital. There has been no recorded brain activity in the time she has been there. She is in a coma."

Sarah's hands gripped the arms of the chair. Her nails almost perforated the leather and her knuckles had turned white from the pressure she was exerting. Leland saw this and once again put a calming hand on top of hers. Slowly, he felt the pressure from her hands releasing itself. After a moment, he stood up and went over to his desk, taking a sheet of paper off of it.

"Sarah, I know I have thrown a lot at you, and I am very sorry. But there is one more thing. The medical staff wants to take her off of the respirator. There is no chance of recover. However, your mother is a compatible match with five people needing various organs, and they were hoping to donate your mother's organs to those people who desperately need them. Obviously, that would require your approval."

Just as Mr. Krantz was about to continue, he was interrupted by Sarah.

"I want to see her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mr. Krantz. I want to see her now."

He leaned over to his desk and hit the intercom. It buzzed back a second later. "Stella, can you have my personal car brought to the front of the building?"

"Yes, sir. Anything else?"

"Just lock everything up once we leave. I appreciate you staying here late for us. Please go home and see your grandkids."

Sarah sat there looking down with her hands in her lap as Mr. Krantz got up and grabbed his coat from the coat rack. He then extended his hand to Sarah. After a moment, she got up and they made her way to his car.

* * *

As they drove to Cedars Sinai Hospital, Sarah sat in a near catatonic state in the passenger seat staring out the window. Leland Krantz glanced over at her from time to time. He had seen a lot of people in shock over the years. Yet all he could see from Sarah Walker was anger. She hid her feelings well. Judging by her posture, you would never know the inner turmoil going on inside her. But one look into her eyes and everything was revealed. And what he saw scared him.

Sarah took the occasional glance in the side view mirror while running through everything in her mind. Her father and sister were dead. She would never be able to reconcile with her father. Their last words from the fight they had at Christmas were still ringing in her head. She would never be able to talk to her sister about the boys she was dating or anything like that again. Her brother had God knows how much emotional trauma over what happened, and her mother…_her mother_…was barely hanging on.

It was then she noticed someone following them. It was the same car she saw outside of the attorney's office. She had dismissed it as someone waiting to pick up their significant other, but now she knew they were tailing her. They stayed three cars back at all times but kept a direct line of sight on them. The driver's eyes never left the back end of the car she was in. She pulled out her phone, scrolled to a particular number, and typed a very fast text message.

_Call off the tail or you know how I will handle it. Don't make me hurt a fellow Agent. Oh and by the way, we are not finished. _

Sarah sent the text, and the car turned away a few minutes later. She caught a glimpse of the driver, and he was clearly not happy. She put the phone back in her purse and resumed her watch outside the window.

They arrived at the hospital several minutes later. As they made their way inside, Sarah took in the scene. The place was bustling with orderlies, patients and medical staff moving at every turn. They got their I.D. badges and were escorted to the ICU. They were met outside the entryway by Dr. Taggert. He went over the latest test results with Leland and her. However, Sarah zoned him out and started to slowly make her way towards the room her mother was in. She took small, almost infant-like steps as she made her way towards the room. The doctor noticed her walking away and went to stop her when Leland's arm caught his. They made eye contact and the doctor understood to just let Sarah be.

Sarah reached out and put her hands on both sides of the door frame. As she peered inside the slightly darkened room, all she could hear was the ventilator slowly moving up and down and the steady beep from the heart monitor. She could no longer hold the flood gates that had been threatening to spill out for so long now. The tears streaked down her face as she choked back a sob and made her way into the room. Taking painfully small steps, she rubbed her thumbs absentmindedly over her index fingers, trying to find a way to keep distracted and prevent herself from totally losing it. She suddenly gulped in some air as she realized that she had been holding her breath the entire time.

But all of a sudden, a choked back "Momma" slipped out. And that unleashed a torrent of emotions that overwhelmed her. She collapsed by her mother's bedside and buried her face in her chest as the cries racked her body. She shook the entire bed with sobs over her mother's condition.

After a few moments and tears later, she managed to look up at her mother. The injuries had healed well and her mother's once vibrant brown hair looked duller in this light. She brushed a wisp of hair from her mother's face and kissed her cheek. Just as she was about to lose control over her legs, she felt a chair being pushed behind her and felt the steadiness of the chair comfort her for just a second. She turned her head and saw Leland Krantz with a tear in his eye turn around and walk out the door, shutting it to give her some privacy.

Sarah sat in the chair by her mother's bedside for hours. Suddenly, the door to the room slowly opened. Her hand immediately reached for a concealed knife on a thigh holster under her skirt when she noticed it was a woman dressed in white.

"Miss Walker?"

"Yes?"

"My name is Vivian. Vivian Wilson, I am one of the nurses for the ICU, and I have been taking care of your mother ever since her arrival."

Sarah relaxed her hand and sighed. "Thank you. Thank you for everything you have done." Sarah turned back and stroked her mother's once vibrant hair.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Vivian asked.

"No, thank you. But if you don't mind my asking, how long have you worked in this ward?"

"Nine years," Vivian replied as she sat in the chair next to Sarah.

"Has anyone ever woken up like my mother? I mean, someone who has been in a coma for this long a time?"

Vivian sighed and put a hand over Sarah's. "To be honest, not since I have been here."

Vivian then turned towards Sarah's mother and smoothed the blanket over her. "Your mother's wounds have healed nicely."

Another tear slipped down Sarah's cheek. "Thank you for taking care of her when I should have been here." Sarah wiped the tear from her face. "You know, they want me to turn the machines off and donate her organs."

"I know, dear," Vivian gently replied as she put a reassuring hand on Sarah's shoulder "But that wasn't why I came in. I just wanted you to meet the person who has been taking care of your mom and to assure you I will for as long as she is here."

"Thank you," Sarah responded as she looked at her and gave a faint smile. As she looked at Vivian, Sarah noticed a very deep purple bruise hidden behind Vivan's ear by her neck line.

Just as Sarah was going to ask another question they both heard a commotion coming from the hallway. Through the small window they could see a burly looking, stone faced man push Leland Krantz out of the way and gain entrance to the room.

"VVIVVIAAAANNNN whersh are yous?" the man sloshed with a hiccup. "Get over here, woman!"

"Desmond this is not the time or the place," Vivian pleaded. "Now be respectful."

Sarah noticed Vivian start to back up from the man entering the room. The man reeked of alcohol.

"Pssh, these vegetables won't care; they can't hear me anyway. Look at this pathetic waste of electricity," Desmond spat out while pointing at Sarah's mom.

Sarah tried to control her rage and fury. That is, until Desmond grabbed Vivian's wrist and twisted it, making her fall to the ground in pain. He raised his other hand to hit her when he felt something knock the wind out of him. He then felt someone's heel connect with his face. His head snapped back, and he stumbled backwards into the wall.

He recovered his balance from the two kicks Sarah gave him. "Well lookie what we have heeere. A Barbie doll thinks she can stop me with a few kicks. I'll teach you, bitch."

"Desmond, NO!" Vivian screamed as he went to attack Sarah. He tried to bring his fist down on Sarah, but Sarah grabbed his wrist and flipped him to the ground with a very painful thud. Before he could get up, he was flipped over onto his stomach and felt his forearm twisted behind his back. Sarah pulled hard until the bone in his arm snapped. Desmond screamed out in pain as Sarah ripped the cord from the phone in the room and tied his broken arm and left leg, pulling it tightly.

Vivian Wilson was stunned silent at seeing her abusive husband hog-tied by Sarah. Sarah then calmly walked over to her mother's bed and sat back down.

"I am sorry you had to see that, Momma. I guess I need to explain some things to you." Sarah bowed her head as she told her story. Vivian quietly made her way outside the room, where two orderlies had picked up her hog-tied husband and laid him on a stretcher to await the police.

* * *

The elevator opened, and two officers walked out of the elevator. They continued their conversation as Vivian Wilson tended to Mr. Krantz.

"Hey, listen; you had the victims last time. This time I get to talk to them and you get the perp."

"Yeah, OK," Sergeant Reyes' partner said with a lack of enthusiasm. "But next time we go back to Rock, Paper, Scissors. Although I may have gotten the better end of the deal. My guy is already tied up on the stretcher."

"Hi, I am Sergeant Reyes and this is Officer Bartowski. What happened here?"

Sergeant Reyes stayed with Leland Krantz and Vivian Wilson and got the basics. He then came over to Chuck and pulled him aside after he was done untying Mr. Wilson and handcuffing him to the stretcher.

"I am sorry; what happened?" Chuck asked in a state of shock.

"You heard me right. Jim Beam here pushed the old man out of the way in a drunken rage and attacked his wife. The blonde in the room there was visiting her mom. She did this to him. I am going to get her story, but supposedly she learned that in a self-defense class at the YMCA."

Chuck glanced over at the blonde inside the room pacing back and forth. He couldn't see her face, but Chuck concluded she was probably gorgeous._ Hey, she's probably in mourning,_ Chuck thought to himself. _Stop thinking like that, jackass_.

He then walked back over to Desmond Wilson and looked him square in the eye. "You know, buddy, if you're gonna get your ass kicked, at least it was a great way to go. Although I'd hate for the other inmates to find out you got your ass kicked by a Barbie doll. Now let's go. You have a mountain of charges against you, and I still need to read you your Miranda rights."

Chuck pulled Wilson off the stretcher and uncuffed him from it. He then put the cuff on his left wrist and walked behind Wilson to keep his left arm pinned back. With one last look over his shoulder at the shapely blonde who did all of this, Chuck took the assailant down to his cruiser while Sergeant Reyes finished interviewing the other witnesses.

A few moments later, Sarah wiped her eyes and made her way back to Mr. Krantz.

"Mr. Krantz?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I would like to sign those papers now."

"Of course. And just so you know, no one will ever know what I saw today."

"What do you mean?"

"That was no self-defense class training you used to take that bastard down. I may be an old man but I know when someone has received combat training. But like I said, it will go with me to my grave."

"Thank you," Sarah replied in gratitude.

"Come, let's go to the hospital administrator's office and take care of the paperwork. Then we will get you back to the hotel. We'll get your brother in the morning."

Sarah nodded in appreciation. She took one last look at her mom and began to weep. The older gentleman put his arm around her shoulder and led her down the hallway to the elevator. The doctors had begun the transplant procedures a few hours later, and Sarah was on her way back to her hotel.

Mr. Krantz dropped her off at her hotel and told her he would be by around 9:00 AM with the DCFS officer to get her brother. Sarah dropped her bags by the door as she made her way towards the bed. By the time she got there, she had shed her outer clothing and curled into a ball on the bed. Because of some stupid regulations she couldn't get her brother tonight. All that was left was to release some of the tears that had been wanting to escape all day. Her life was a mess, her family gone and lost moments would never be regained. As Sarah Walker cried herself to sleep that lonely night she made a vow to her mother and father and little sister to do the best she could for her little brother and provide him the life he should have had and to never let him be alone again. Well, after Graham is dealt with that is.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: To those few people who have been waiting for an update on this story i sincerely apologize. It was not my intention to take this long of a break. HOwever life got in the way. The easiset to explain was i got a new job then Osama was killed. That took alot of my pain and grief away. At the same time Chuck was announced that it was a finale 13 episodes and i got writers block. Then the 10 year anniversary hit and i was still in a block. then i had Hernia surgery. That said i have been workling on this last chapter for about 2 months it was originally 36 pages and more then 15,000 words. MY grateful betas Bdaddydl who i would be lost without and pj murphy told me to split it. so this is chapter 9. That said chapter 10 is done and will be out in probably out in the next 2 to 3 weeks. it just has to be betaed. I am hard at work on chapter 11. I cant prmoise when that will be out but its coming. Those of you waiting for a chuck and sarah meeting well tahts still a ways off. But its coming i promise. No Chuck this chapter just Sarah but it was important that this part of the story be told. Oh and to Michael66 and There is another thanks for all the kicks in the backside i needed them. I promise this story will be finished. SO all two fo you still out there still reading i appreciate it. Anty new people who come in you might want to read the first 8 chapters, but please send reviews and let me know your still reading i appreciate it. That said i need to thank my lovely wife and daughter for their continued support and now here is chapter 9.

* * *

Chapter 9

August 9 2003

Hyatt Regency Hotel 6:00 AM

It had been a restless night's sleep for Sarah, as thoughts of her family continuously pounded images into her brain. Seeing her mother lying in the bed as the ventilator was turned off would be burned into her head for the rest of her life. But she needed to focus. Her little brother was depending on her, and she wasn't sure what she was going to find when she found him.

After she forced herself out of the bed and tied her hair back into a pony tail, she grabbed her Under Armour sports bra and her workout shorts from her bag, heading down to the hotel's gym. She started her workout with twenty minutes of cardio on the treadmill, eventually working her way over the free weights for a little light lifting. The good thing about being in the gym this early was that there really weren't any men in there to stand around and gawk at her. As she lifted the weights, she felt the pain and anguish from the previous night start to ebb. Unfortunately, the thoughts of her brother again resurfaced into her mind, and she decided to go for a little swim in the Olympic-sized pool. After 30 laps around the pool she finally toweled off and headed to her room to shower and change.

When Sarah got back to her room, she turned on the shower and got undressed. As she pulled her hair tie out of her pony tail her hair just fell down to her back and was a tangled mess. After trying in vain to pull the knots out, she finally gave up and decided to get them out with the help of the shower. As she stepped into the shower, she could instantly feel the steaming water pelt her back. She arched her back let the water massage her scalp and neck muscles as it cascaded down her slender back As the water eased the tension in her shoulders, her mind began to drift back to the dream that she had had the night before. She didn't have it often, but it had become almost like an old friend she'd see occasionally.

_She could almost smell the salty air of the beach in Santa Monica her parents had taken them, after she had been accepted to Harvard, to the beach where they vacationed every year. While her family was playing in the surf, Sarah said she was hungry so she set off down the pier to find something she wanted to eat. While eating a corn dog, she stumbled upon this video arcade that was like a siren song for the bored teenager. However Sarah always had her favorites and when she found arcades like this, which were few and far between these days, she looked for a few particular machines. _

_The first was _Star Wars_. She felt a thrill every time that she imagined that she was a rebel pilot in the X-Wing fighter flying thru the trenches going to destroy the Death Star. The second was her all-time favorite: _Afterburner_. After looking around for a few tense minutes, she stumbled upon the machine she was looking for. It was magnificent, it was the sit-down model that swiveled and rotated 180 degrees to simulate the sense of flying in a dogfight. However, as she walked up to the machine chewing her Big Red gum, she noticed the unit was in use._

_As Sarah walked up to the machine, she noticed how the machine reacted to the user who was in it… Instead of the jerky motions she usually saw, she saw an almost graceful, fluid motion. She stepped closer to the side and took a good look at the man playing the game. He was a young man, maybe a year or so younger then she was. Clearly he was a nerd; his _I'm withChewie_ t-shirt gave that away. Not that she minded him being a nerd, although he had taken it just a bit to the extreme. But that was part of the appeal that she saw in him at first glance. He wasn't afraid to be himself. Besides, she always considered herself to be quite the nerd as well. _

_The boy must have seen _Iron Eagle_ more than a few times. He had his CD player strapped to his thigh, and through his headphones she could hear _One Vision_ by Queen playing loudly thru them. If that didn't solidify him as a nerd what she heard next certainly would have._

"_Goose, I can't see him."_

"_He's got a lock on us, Mav!"_

"_I'm bringing him in closer."_

"_You're gonna do what?"_

"_I'm gonna hit the brakes and he'll fly right by us."_

_After chuckling to herself quietly about the _Top Gun_-like scene playing out in front of her, she decided to make sure that she had the next game._

_As she leaned in close to the console to place her quarters, she noticed how handsome the young man was. His slightly lanky frame fit his features perfectly. He also had the gentlest eyes she had ever seen and his long brown hair curled into what she was certain were animal shapes. As she leaned in to put her quarters on the console, her hair fell onto his shoulder and she popped a bubble in his ear despite trying her best not to bother him. She placed her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. He flinched slightly at the pop of her gum, and his nostrils flared as he took in her scent, a combination of lilac and passion fruit from her shampoo and body lotion. She saw a faint hint of a smile that disappeared quickly when his plane got blown to smithereens. She wanted to hide within the crowd from embarrassment. It was then that she noticed he had been staring at her as she twisted her brunette hair with her fingers. _

"_Oh man, I got him killed," she thought to herself. After a few quiet moments between them the young man finally spoke up._

"_You know it's bad game etiquette to interrupt when someone else is playing."_

"_I was just marking my turn." Sarah replied a little more harshly then she meant to._

_As the young man stood, Sarah noticed he was quite taller than her, and she was tall for a woman. Sarah also took in his warm chocolate brown eyes. It was like a window to his soul and she seemed to just be enveloped in warmth for a fraction of a second. The boy was about to respond when a short little guy with way too much facial hair for his age ran over to him. _

"_Dude we've got to move now!" the bearded one screamed._

_The taller man pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why Morgan? What did you do now?"_

"_I beat the reigning champ of _Mortal Kombat_ in, like, forty seconds and he's not happy about it. He said something about me doing a pussy move and…well, OK, he's right about that. But it was so epic I beat the guy so fast! Then I said to him if I was the champ now, what did that make him, besides late for the end of the line? And, he…didn't take that very well."_

_The young man looked over his shoulder and Sarah turned and looked as well. Both of them saw a tall menacing fellow advancing towards them. "OK, go. Go!" Sarah heard behind her. She turned to see the two take off into the crowd. As he started to wade thru the sea of gamers he looked back for just a brief second at the young lady with whom had ruined his game._

"_It was nice meeting you," he said as he disappeared into the crowd of gamers. _

_Sarah had never gotten the young man's name. However she did know his initials, since they occupied the first six spots on the game's leader board: CIB. The rest of the trip had been fun. She spent her time on the beach with her family, although it was the last time she could remember her father and her were civil towards each other. She occasionally went back to the arcade to see if she could find the young man again, but she never saw him, although she found CIB on several of the games._

After pushing the dream aside and getting her mind clear for the present task at hand Sarah turned off the shower and grabbed a towel and rung out her hair. After she had gotten as much water out of her hair as she could, she wrapped a towel around her head and body and went to her suitcases to pick out an outfit to meet her brother.

After throwing several choices out onto the bed ranging from the business suit, to the business skirt, to casual, she finally picked a nice pair of jeans and a blue blouse. She chose to go very light on makeup, almost natural to appear softer and nicer, she didn't really know her brother's mental state, and she wanted to appear as open and friendly as possible. When she looked into the mirror she saw her reflection and decided that she needed to pull her hair out of the pony tail.

Not too long after she fixed her hair and finished her everything bagel with cream cheese, she heard her phone ring from the other room.

"Hello? Yes, I will be right down."

She glanced at the clock and realized that the time had flown between her shower and getting ready. She quickly exited her hotel room and took the elevator down to the Lobby. As the doors opened, Sarah was greeted by Mr. Krantz and another person whom she guessed was the DCFS agent.

Leland took the lead with the introductions. "Ms. Sarah Walker, please meet DCFS Agent Andrea Martinez."

They exchanged pleasantries and made their way to Mr. Krantz's car and began their journey to Ojai, where her brother was. It was a two hour drive that Sarah honestly didn't want to sit in the car for, unless she was driving. If she had her Porsche, she would have arrived in an hour and fifteen flat.

They spoke for a while about her brother's condition. It had been noted on all visits that he still had not spoken a word since the accident. However, the doctors said there was nothing medically wrong with him; he would speak when he was ready. It was not uncommon for victims of this type of trauma to not communicate with anyone, but that didn't help Sarah at all. She stopped talking at that point and just stared out the window, lost in thought about her brother, as the scenery flew by.

After turning off of the expressway and down a few streets, Agent Martinez noted that they were almost there. Sarah sat up in the seat and looked ahead to the one story ranch house at the end of the street. She instantly noted the neglected condition of the house and the brown grass that was no doubt caused from California's endless drought. They could see a few children sitting on the sidewalk with their heads down in what was already a searing heat for the day, and then she spotted the one child that she was looking for. Her brother and a little girl where sitting on the stoop. The little girl seemed to be comforting her little brother.

As the car came to a complete stop Sarah turned around in her seat and looked at Agent Martinez and asked "How many children do these people foster?"

Agent Martinez opened up her briefcase and looked thru her paperwork. "Nine."

"NINE? Where do they all sleep in that small house? Are they fed three meals a day? Does your agency even do spot checks?" Sarah's temper was starting to flare and Leland put a hand on her arm to calm her.

"I assure you, Ms. Walker, we do our jobs. The problem is that there are more homeless and abused children then there are foster parents willing to take them in. We do what we can, but our agency's budget gets cut more and more every single year."

Sarah got out of the car quickly, mumbling something about bureaucratic nonsense, and slammed the car door. She immediately started to walk to the curb where the young boys were sitting.

"Ms. Walker, wait!" Agent Martinez called out.

As she got closer to the little boys, Sarah could see the change in their posture, but they would not look up at her.

"Hi."

Neither of them would respond. She didn't want to startle her brother so she slowly made her way to him. As she neared the stoop she said hi to the little girl that had been sitting next to her brother. However, the response she got was not the response she expected.

"Shhh, he will hear you."

Sarah bent down and brushed a wisp of hair behind her ear. "Who will hear?"

The young girl just shook her head. "Shh… don't let him hear you," and her eyes went to the front door looking inside.

She stood up and noticed her brother had long sleeves on and he was sitting outside in 99 degree weather. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, and she could feel adrenaline enter her veins. It didn't take Agency training to know why Sebastian was wearing long sleeves on such a hot day. She reached back behind her shirt for where her gun usually sat and remembered that she left it in her hotel room. She was no longer a CIA agent, thus needing to get a civilian license. _That will take some getting used to._

As she made her way towards her the front door her brother finally looked up and saw her. She immediately stopped and looked at him. _D__oes he remember me? Should I call out to him?_

Before Sarah could open her mouth to speak, he ran into her with such force, she nearly fell over from his tackle. He cried into her arms, and she hugged him with everything in her, cradling him tightly. She was his only family now and damned if she wouldn't make sure he knew how much he meant to her every day for the rest of their lives. Once his tears subsided, she held him at arm's length and gave him the once over. That's when Sarah noticed that his sleeves had ridden up, and that he had bruises a few cigarette burn marks on his arms.

She gently cradled his face in her hands and wiped a tear from his cheek. "Sebastian, who did this to you?" He bowed his head and started to quiver. "Sebastian you are not in trouble. You could never do anything that would change the way I feel about you. But right now, I need you to help me and tell me who did this to you."

All he could do was turn his head slightly and nod towards the house.

The little girl again tugged at Sarah's shirt and spoke again "Shhh, please! Please be quiet; he will hear you. Please don't start trouble for us."

"What's your name?" Sarah asked the girl as gently as she could.

"Maddy," she whispered fearfully, and Sarah noticed the bruises on her elbows as well.

"Maddy, I am Sebastian's older sister. Sarah. Do all the children have similar bruises and burns to the ones that you and Sebastian have?" The little girl nodded without looking up. "Don't worry, Maddy. We will fix this right now. I promise."

Sarah stood up and closed the distance between herself and Martinez in a heartbeat. She grabbed Martinez by her shirt sleeve and pulled her away from the kids. "I thought you said your agency did spot checks on these foster families. My brother has bruises and burns all over him, and the little girl says the rest of the children do, too."

The DCFS agent just stood there. Sarah's rage stopped when she saw the fire in Martinez's eyes. She wasn't sure if Martinez was mad at her or mad that her agency dropped the ball so badly.

Sarah let go of her shirt sleeve. "This bureaucratic shit ends right now. Agent Martinez, start gathering up the children. ALL OF THEM."

"We can't…"

"I don't want to hear about what you can and can't do. What you CAN'T do is leave this children here to be abused one minute longer!"

Leland came up to Sarah. "Sarah, remember your little brother. One child at a time."

Sarah exhaled. "Leland, I know it won't exactly be safe, but we need to move these children out of here. If we need to leave Agent Martinez here then we can, I can call a shuttle, or I can call in a few favors. I'll do whatever it takes, but we are not leaving these children here."

With that, she turned back to get to Sebastian and Maddy. After she took both of their hands she started to lead them towards the car when she heard a voice behind her and her alarms went back up.

"Hey blondie, what are you doing with m' kids?"

"Taking them someplace safe," Sarah growled without even looking back as she placed them in the back seat of the car.

The guy stumbled out of the house and ran after Sarah, grabbing her by the shoulder. "You're goin' nowhere wit' em, bitch."

Sarah whirled around and grabbed the man's wrist, twisting it back into an arm bar. She planted her boot into the back of the man's knees, and he dropped to the ground. A sickening popping sound could be heard as the man's shoulder became separated. He screamed in pain but still tried to attack Sarah. She had to hold on tightly as the man was almost three times her weight.

"I never said that you could touch me," she snarled.

"Ahhhrrrgh, you bitch!" the man screamed as he tried to free himself.

Sarah heard a sound coming from the house. She looked over her shoulder to see a middle aged woman who looked like she hadn't seen a shower in a few days or her feet in ages ran out of the house with a butcher knife screaming.

"Leave my husband alone, you whore!"

The woman swung the butcher knife at Sarah, but Sarah could only duck down and kick up enough to knock her backwards without risking letting her husband loose. The woman attacked again and tried to bring the butcher knife down. Agent Martinez moved like lightning and grabbed the woman's wrist, twisting her hand backwards until she could pull the large woman's thumb away from the butcher knife. The woman dropped it but tried to swing with her other hand. She received a knee to the gut from Martinez, who then flipped her to the ground. Sarah sent a hard jab at her husband to stop him from struggling.

Sarah stared at Martinez, who merely straightened up and shrugged. "Fifteen years in the Army. Two tours in the Balkans. Picked a few things up on the way."

Sarah turned back to the man and leaned in. "Is this what you do to these kids?" She applied more pressure on his arm and shoulder to get his attention. "Well, you will never be able to touch another child again. I will make sure of it. Don't make me come back here. I will be checking in from time to time. Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes, yes dammit. Now let me go!"

Sarah released her grip on his hand and pushed him to the ground with her foot. As she turned around and removed the hair from her eyes, she noticed that all of the neighbors had stopped what they were doing and were staring at her. She casually tossed her hair behind her ears and made her way back to the car. Agent Martinez pulled out her mobile phone to arrange for a local hospital to examine the children.

Sarah slid into the open door of the town car and pulled her brother close to her and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed the top of his forehead and cradled him in her arms as all the children crammed into the town car. She had no idea how to be a mother to her younger brother or how to even help him to learn to speak again but she was determined to be the best damn sister that she could be. She glanced around at all the other children that where crammed into the car. A Lincoln Town Car was six seat belts short of what they needed and Sarah had to admit it wasn't the smartest idea in the world. But it was the quickest way to get them out of there.

The next several hours seemed to fly by and were spent at the hospital with the children being checked out by the doctors in the E.R. The children were to be cleared both physically and mentally before being taken to new homes. While that was going on, a litany of police and social services employees took statements from the children, as well as the three adults who were witness to the deplorable conditions in which the children lived. All the while, Sebastian had not left his sisters side; he held onto her left as if his life depended on it. But as much as stubbornness was a Walker family trait, it could not sustain him forever. Sebastian was losing the battle with the long and stressful day, yawning repeatedly.

"How much longer, Mr. Krantz?" Sarah asked.

"If I had to guess, it should be another half hour before everything is wrapped up completely. Once the police release us, I'll have my driver then take you back to your hotel, and then after a night's rest we can reconvene in the morning."

Sarah almost reached out to take the older man's hand but hesitated. "Mr. Krantz….I am so sorry for bringing this upon you. You should take some time for your family and other clients as well.'

Leland smiled. "Ms. Walker, I cleared my schedule when we were finally able to reach you. As I said, your family is a very important client, and my family understands that. Really, you are like an extended member of the family. You wish to take care of your brother, and I want to insure both of you are taken care of."

"Leland, I am glad they understand, but please take tomorrow and get done what you need to. I am going to spend some time getting reacquainted with my brother and then figuring out where to go next."

"Not a problem, I have some paperwork for you to sign, and then we can get you out of here."

Sarah had been granted temporary custody of Sebastian until the courts could make everything official. However, she was told that she would have to establish a permanent residence within thirty days if she wanted to keep custody of Sebastian_. _

_A permanent residence,_ she thought to herself. She hasn't had one of those since she lived at home.

It was late when the siblings were dropped off at the hotel. Sarah carried Sebastian into the hotel where a security guard asked her if she needed help carrying him. She waved him off and got him into the room, laying him down on the bed without waking him. She changed into workout clothes and began going through a circuit of sit ups, pushups, and other a few other torturous exercises she could do in the room. After thirty minutes of profuse sweating to get her mind off of the day, Sarah walked into the bathroom of the room even more frustrated. The workout had failed miserably. If anything, she felt even more frustrated. She gripped the sides of the sink and stared into the mirror. She thought about the miserable failure that allowed her little brother to suffer while she ignored what was staring at her right in the face.

She had kept silent in order to make sure Sebastian didn't wake up, but she wanted to scream until her throat hurt. To feel even the smallest pain that she had allowed her little brother to feel. Finally in frustration, she started to yell without noise at the mirror. The veins in her neck throbbed as her chest heaved back and forth. After several moments Sarah dropped to the floor with her knees hugged to her chest as the memories of the past few weeks ran over her in waves her brother, her father, and then the machines stopping along with her mother's heart. The tears flowed unabated at that point. She was lost, and she was dragging a family member with her. Slowly, Sarah got to her feet and turned on the shower. She stripped out of her workout clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the water and steam envelop her. As the water cascaded down her bare body, the events of the last few days finally and completely caught up with her. Her tears gradually subsided and she started not to think about what happened, but what would happen next. She wondered how was she going to be both a mother and a father to her brother, when she could barely take care of herself emotionally? She shut off the water out of frustration, the long shower having done little good.

It was then she was awakened from her emotional breakdown by a scream from outside the bathroom. Quickly wrapping a towel around herself, she grabbed her gun from the stand above the toilet and threw open the door to find Sebastian sitting up in the bed crying hysterically with a faint trickle of blood coming from his mouth.

She placed her gun on top of the counter and raced to the bed. She pulled him as tightly as she could to her chest and began rocking him gently while rubbing his back. It hit her like a blow to the head: what she had been through over the past few days, he had to live through as well. He lost his mother, his life was in limbo, and he was abused by his foster parents, only to be snatched away in an instant.

And he didn't know why.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Sarah gently whispered in his ear over and over. "It'll be OK, sweetie. Everything will be OK. I promise."

Sarah held him in her arms, rocking him back and forth until he calmed down. She then laid her head back on the headboard and let sleep finally claim her as her brother's own breathing had finally evened out.

* * *

Sarah awoke to a stiff neck from being bent on the headboard all night and to find Sebastian was still holding onto her like a life preserver. She slowly lifted up his arms and slipped out his grasp, then made her way to the kitchenette of the hotel room. She grabbed her gun from atop the counter, placed it in the drawer, and grabbed the menu by the phone.

She ordered some breakfast pastries along with cereal, eggs and assorted meats. She then powered up her laptop and quickly typed an email to Mr. Krantz, asking him to talk to a real estate agent to find her an apartment in Marina Del Rey, preferably close to the beach. She also asked to get a few of the other things off of the DCFS task list when he had the time.

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door. After shutting her laptop and replacing the towel with the hotel bathrobe, Sarah opened the door and noticed the leering look that the waiter gave her as he brought breakfast into the room. She gave him a tip and shut the door. She caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror and realized she grabbed the kid's bathrobe by accident. She shook her head in annoyance. _No wonder why he was staring. I was giving him a free show. _Not for the first time, she forgot she was just as adept at winning a beauty contest as she was at winning a mixed martial arts showdown.

After jumping in the shower, Sarah put on her swimsuit and the adult-sized robe and made her way back out to the kitchenette. Her brother was eating the pastries that were delivered.

"Hey squirt," she said happily as she ruffled his hair. "Are you feeling better this morning?" Sebastian extended his hand and waved it a bit.

"Me, too. How about after we eat, we go for a swim?"

Sebastian's eyes lit up and he nodded vigorously. But then as fast as the excitement came, his face dropped into a frown.

"What's wrong, Sebastian?"

Sebastian gestured to his lower body. Sarah drew a blank momentarily until she understood what he meant.

"You're worried about not having a suit." Sebastian looked at the ground and nodded. Sarah lifted his chin and winked at him. "Not to worry; I got ya covered. I had the hotel concierge bring one up. But first you need to eat something more substantial than pastries. Eat some cereal, and then we will wait a half hour and head down. You're not supposed to swim for at least an hour after you eat, right?"

"_Y__es mom,"_ Sebastian mouthed_._ Then he realized what he said and clamped a hand over his mouth. He started to well up again.

"Shh, that's OK, Sebastian," Sarah reassured him as she took him in her arms again and cradled him back and forth. Finally, his breathing slowed and he looked back up to her. "Now go finish eating and get changed. We'll go have some fun soon."

The boy hopped back up on the stool by the bar and ate his food like his life depended on it, and Sarah quietly lamented this may have been the best he had eaten in years. He then ran to the bathroom, and Sarah smiled at him as he ran by. _This is my life now, _she thought to herself.

While Sebastian got changed she again thought about her new situation. Sarah didn't honestly know how to get him to talk again, and she knew even less about parenting. Nevertheless, she was going to do this the correct way, just like a mission. She would do recon…in this case, read books…do plenty of planning, she would ask people she could trust for advice, and they would just have to learn on the fly together.

She tied her hair into a bun and inserted her two metal throwing sticks to hold it in place. Each tip was coated in a muscle relaxant that would render its desired target immobile. She wasn't sure under what circumstances she would need them at the moment, but she was never one to take chances. She grabbed a peach off of the table, put on her sunglasses, and waited for her brother to get ready.

Sarah and Sebastian took the elevator downstairs and walked down the hallway to the outdoor pool. As the entered the pool area, Sarah spotted two chaise lounges and motioned for Sebastian to go over and place their things on them to save the chairs while she walked over to a table to grab several towels. As a trained agent, Sarah felt the eyes of everybody following them as they entered the pool area. She undid her robe, tossed it on the chair, and pulled out the two needles out of her hair, shaking her hair out in the process. She was starting to regret wearing her bikini, wishing she had hung up the swimsuit she used yesterday before going to visit Sebastian. The one she was wearing was designed less for practical use and more for being stared at. She exhaled and dove head-first into the pool. She stayed underwater for a moment, wondering if there was a subtle way to exit the pool and not draw attention. But in a barely-there gold bikini, there was really nowhere to hide.

_Might as well get it over with_, she thought to herself. Her head popped out of the water, and she walked up the stairs at the shallow end of the pool, not bothering to acknowledge the leering glances she was receiving from a group of high school boys several chairs down from where Sebastian and she were sitting. She squeezed the excess water out of her hair and told Sebastian she was going to lie down and get some sun. Sebastian pointed towards the diving board, indicating he was heading over there, and Sarah nodded in reply. Sarah made herself comfortable on the chaise, tied her hair into the bun she had when she entered the pool area, and put on her sunglasses. She watched Sebastian walk to the diving board, but then he suddenly stopped and turned around, noticing that group of high school boys ogling his sister.

For her part, Sarah had also noticed the attention that she was getting, although her sunglasses didn't give that away to anyone. A tiny smile came across her face as an idea hatched in her mind to get Sebastian to say something. The reports Martinez showed her indicated he always stood up for his foster sisters when given the opportunity, but that was before everything that had happened. Sarah hoped Sebastian would 'defend' her honor by having a few words with the leering boys.

However her brother proved her wrong again. Instead of speaking to the guys, he did something very in-tune with how a Walker behaved. Sebastian calmly walked up to the diving board. He took a long look at the sign posted on the fence that reminded divers "no cannonballs." He then took a good look at the boys ogling Sarah, took three huge steps to the end of the board, jumped as high as he could, and took off through the air. He pulled his feet up and executed a perfect cannonball, landing without warning just a few feet from the boys. The water the sprayed out of the pool and completely drenched them. They turned in anger and saw the young boy who was with her sister, and they knew they had just been had. As they slunk away from Sarah, taking off their sunglasses and trying to dry off in the process, Sebastian swam to the ladder on the side of the pool, gave a huge grin that made Sarah proud, and climbed out.

"Sebastian, you didn't have to do that," Sarah said a bit sternly, as Sebastian did do something rather dangerous by cannonballing in a pool. However, it faded quickly into a smile. "But thank you for the gesture. Since you seem to be having a good time, does this mean you are finally ready to try and speak to me?"

Sebastian lowered his head and just shook his head silently. Sarah dejectedly grabbed a towel to dry him off, but over his shoulder, there was something that caught her eye.

"How about I get us something to drink?"

Sebastian nodded with a solemn look on his face.

"Don't worry; those guys won't bother me as long as you're after me." She winked at him. "Be right back, sport"

As she walked just out of Sebastian's view to the bar, she felt her knuckles clench and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She was ready to turn around and attack the person behind her.

"Don't make a scene, Agent Burton. Director Graham wants a word with you, and since you don't want to answer your phone or email, he sent me to collect you. Now you don't want to make a scene in front of the boy, do you?"

"I can't just leave my brother here all alone," Sarah protested.

"Not my problem," the agent coldly replied.

In order for her plan to work, she would have to sell it. "Please, he has already lost enough." She started to visibly shake and her eyes welled up. "Just let me take him upstairs, get changed and drop him off someplace safe, and then I will go with you."

"Fine, make it quick. But if you get out of line, you won't have a brother to worry about."

Sarah walked calmly back to the pool deck and told Sebastian they needed to leave. She pulled on her robe and pulled the two needles out of her hair to shake it free. Sebastian didn't understand why they had to leave and began to protest, but Sarah just motioned for him to come with her.

As they got back to the room Sarah threw on a black sarong and a white blouse. She discarded the robe but slipped the needles holding her hair up into her right sleeve. She then grabbed her room key and checked to make sure her brother was getting ready. As she walked into Sebastian's room, she could feel the eyes of the agent on her.

"Sebastian, come here," she said to him. "I know you don't understand, but we can't have you leaving the hotel room with your shirt not buttoned up correctly." She unbuttoned his shirt and buttoned it correctly. As she tucked in his shirt, she slipped a computer disk into the back of his pants and just put her finger to her lips.

Once they left the room, the Agent opened the door and pushed both her and Sebastian into the hallway.

"Took you too long enough, are you finally ready to go?"

Sarah bit her lip and just waited for the right moment. As the elevator doors opened on the ground floor, the agent led them out the side entrance, and Sarah noticed the government-issue Crown Vic waiting on the side street. The agent who had approached her by the bar stood holding the rear passenger door open.

Just as Sebastian got inside of the car, Sarah turned her head slightly and smiled at the agent. She flattened her right hand and made a quick chop at a cluster of nerves on the side of the neck of the agent. He collapsed to the concrete, and Sarah drove her heel into the man's groin.

"That's for threatening my brother," she spat at him before turning to the agent who led them downstairs. "Now I'm ready," she said calmly as she got into the back of the car. She told the driver the address as the one agent helped his injured partner into the passenger's seat and then got in the back of the car.

Since she didn't have any family or friends on the West Coast, Sarah decided to have the agents take her to the only place that she knew Sebastian would be taken care of: the home of Leland Krantz. After a long car ride, made even longer by the moaning coming from the front seat and with the seemingly endless noise coming from the front seat of the wounded agent, Sarah was eager to get her brother out of the car as they pulled up to Leland's home. She had him walk in front of her towards the mansion was in front of them; partly to shield him from any reprisals from the injured agent but more so just for her own peace of mind. As they stood at the door of the estate, she felt ashamed that she could not handle the situation herself, but her brother's safety was paramount.

Sebastian knocked on the door, and all Sarah could do was wait for the overly large door to open. She could hear children running and playing from behind the door. She looked back at the two agents that were waiting by the car. One had his hands clasped together and the other was standing on the side of the car with his hand behind his back. It was easy to tell from their posture they were looking for a fight, so Sarah had to get her mind ready for the next part of her plan.

_Just stay still; the time will come where you can put those Agent Smith wannabes in their place._

When the door finally opened an older woman in slacks and a polo shirt answered the door.

"Hola, te puedo ayudar?"

"Sí, estoy aquí a ver al señor Krantz." Sebastian just looked up at his sister as she was having an entire conversation in Spanish

"Estaba esperando que mas?"

"No, no lo era, ¿puedes simplemente decirle que Sarah Walker estaba aquí y que necesitaba hablar con él directamente?"

"Si, Senora Walker. I be right back" the housekeeper said as she shut the door.

Sebastian just kept staring till Sarah looked at him. "Not now, Sebastian," she whispered at his questioning glance.

A few moments later, the door opened again and Mr. Krantz appeared in a very loud Hawaiian shirt with baggy khaki shorts.

"Ms. Walker, is there something that I could help you with?"

"Mr. Krantz, I know this is short notice but I honestly don't have anywhere else to turn." Leland looked into the young woman's eyes and could see the unease in them with the stiff jaw. He sympathized with her plight. This was a woman who was used to doing things by herself, and now she had nowhere to turn.

"I have to go out of town to have a discussion with my former employer, and I am not sure when I can be back. I know Sebastian would be kept safe with you, while he would not be safe with me." Sarah paused and exhaled deeply, and Leland knew this was hurting her tremendously. "I know this probably violates my case to get Sebastian assigned to me, but I have no choice.

Sebastian looked up at Sarah, who motioned for him to go with Leland. Sebastian stared at her in shock before his head dropped down and the tears started to form.

"Hey, hey…" Sarah spoke softly as she knelt down and lifted his chin with her index finger. "I will be back, Sebastian. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. Just remember to thank Mr. Krantz with that special gift I gave you." While the young boy just nodded, an enormous smile erupted on her face that Sarah returned.

Leland glanced back at her ride and realized his suspicions about her former life were more on the money then he had thought. "Sarah, he is welcome to stay with us. We have our grandchildren this week, so he will have plenty of fun with them. Just take care of what you have to take care of. I'll make sure no one knows of this. However, I expect answers when you get back."

Sarah nodded and once again knelt down in front of Sebastian. "I love you, kiddo!" They both hugged for a few moments before Sarah got up and made her way back to the car.

Sarah turned one last time before getting back into the car and waved to Sebastian and spoke again to Mr. Krantz. "Thank you again, Leland."

As she slid into the car, the agent closest to her slipped into the car next to her and had his gun pulled out and trained on her. The driver got in the car and started it up.

"Now, it's time for us to go see the Director," said the agent in the back, as his partner still wasn't in much of a talking mood."

"So, are you guys taking me to the airport?"

"No, the Director made a special flight just to come see you. He's here in L.A. and not very happy, I might add."

"I don't care if he crawled on his hands and knees just to get my autograph," Sarah spat out.

"Just shut up and enjoy the ride before you're treated far worse than you treated my partner, Agent Burton."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: First I want to thank all of you who reviewed this last chapter. As you can see Chuck and Sarah are on their way to meeting one another. Will it be smooth and will things happen? Probably but that's because it is me. That said I want to thank everyone for their continued support regarding this story. I need to call a few people out. I want to thank Esardi for his support and words. You have helped me a lot in more ways the one. I need to thank Bdaddydl for being the continued backbone of this and all my stories and for constantly reminding me to keep going. And last but not least a special thanks to uplink2 for trying to argue with me and lose quite graciously over who is the better author. Chapter 11 is in the hands of my Beta now and Chapter 12 is almost done. However I will be out of the country for the next two weeks so it will not be published until I am back. Of course we all know it is him lol. Last but not least thanks to my wife and daughter for their continued support.

* * *

Chapter 10: Reprisals and beginnings and selflesness

Sarah just stared out the window as they drove onto the freeway. She began thinking about the dramatic turn of events that had changed her life so completely over the last few months. Would her choices have been different if the fact that her family's accident hadn't been hidden from her? Did Graham's actions cause her to leave?

The point was now mute. They had deceived her. The Frackin Central Intelligence Agency had kept her from knowing what had happened to her family. Her Family! She was tired of the travel and constant danger. She was one of the best, and now it was time for her to become the best at something else. A big sister and mother.

It was time to set up her plan to make sure that she escaped from Graham's wrath. She then noticed that the imbecile that she had injured earlier was using his rear view mirror to get a better look at her. She smiled. _Pigs always make my job so much easier._ She was still in hand cuffs but she could make herself more presentable.

"Hey, do you mind?" Sarah said sharply at the agent who was watching her through the rear view mirror. "Or do you want me to cripple you even further?" The visor went up without hesitation a moment later.

Agent Jennifer Burton worked around the cuffs sliding the two hair pins out of her hair, and sat them on her lap and prepared to hide them inside the folds of her skirt. After she shook out her hair and let it cascade down around her shoulders. Jenny unbuttoned her shirt just enough to keep everyone's eyes on her chest and not her herself. Finally, she slowly slid the pins into her Sarong making them look like a decoration instead of the weapons that they really were.

Just as she was finishing up they pulled up in front of the Los Angles FBI building. They parked the car, opened the door and yanked Jennifer from the car.

"Hey watch it"

"Let's get a move on we have kept Director Graham waiting long enough," the older Agent said. As they moved to the elevator of the parking lot, Jenny kept an eye out on floor layouts and possible exit scenarios. Then a stray thought of her brother entered into her head. _I'm not alone anymore and I need to start thinking like that if I am going to get out of this_. Director Graham was not going to be happy with her, but it was hard to really care. Sarah knew what she would have to do; she just needed to wait for the right moment to act.

The ride up the elevator was uneventful, but interesting. All interrogation and holding cells were underground not on the top floors so Sarah wasn't sure where they were going. The senior Agent whispered into his cufflink that they were on the way up. As the elevator reached the correct floor, the doors opened up. The level seemed mostly empty except for the few agents mulling around chasing leads or following up on other cases. Jenny couldn't help but notice the stark distinction between the FBI and the CIA. The FBI got to chase down leads from a desk and go over the evidence. Where as, the CIA had to depend on analysts to decipher the evidence that they recovered on a daily basis. However, all eyes turned to her as soon as the doors opened. The older Agent was in front of her as the younger injured Agent was covering the rear. Jennifer noticed that they were arriving at the Los Angles AIC office.

The older agent told the younger one to stop before they entered the office. "Kid, wait here. You've already embarrassed yourself enough today."

They opened the door to the empty room and he directed Special Agent Jennifer Burton to the chair in front of the simple desk. Sarah noticed that there was a chain welded to a plate in the floor and that they were going to chain her there. She had to act now. In one fluid motion Sarah pulled the first pin from her dress and stabbed it into the neck of the older Agent. He stumbled back into the wall.

After making sure that the agent looked like he was naturally guarding her in the corner Jenny reached into his jacket and pulled his gun out and slid it into the back of her waistband. She then quickly went back to the chair and grabbed the chain and pulled it as tight as she could and wrapped it around the hand cuffs. It was then that she heard Director Graham's voice bellowing through the office outside.

A few minutes later Graham approached the office. "Agent, what's wrong with you?" Graham yelled as he walked up and saw the Agent grimacing in pain.

"Ummm… Agent Burton Sir, she…" But he was cut off by the boisterous Director.

"I told you to be careful. That she was one of the best Agents that we've ever had. Well I hope that you learned something from this. Maybe a trip to the Siberian outpost will help you in your listening skills."

With that, Director Graham opened the door to the office and quickly scanned the room. The older Agent was in the corner guarding Agent Burton, his eyes focused on her. Her blonde hair covered her face as she had it bent down like a common criminal who had just been arrested. As he walked around the desk he tried to get a read off of Agent Burton but could not as he could not see her face.

"Come now Jenny, look up at me and let's discuss this like adults."

Carefully choosing her words before she spoke, Sarah calmly tilted her head up enough so that he could only see her eyes thru her hair.

"Discuss this like adults. The time for that has passed… Director. It passed the moment that you decided to keep the information from me. The moment that you made the decision that my family dying had no relevance on your plans. The moment that you decided to send me on mission after mission instead of being at my dying mother's bedside. You have chosen this path not me."

With that, Sarah started to rise, Graham started to get up as well and looked at the Agent in the corner who had not yet made a move to sit Agent Burton back down. Before he could look back Jenny's hand shot out and the second hair stick flew from her hands into Director Graham's neck. As Graham watched his top agent slowly walked toward him.

"Don't worry Langston, the nerve agent won't kill you, but it will render you immobile for a short time, just like your pal here. Now I know that you have aspirations of moving beyond the directorship of the CIA. I know all about your money coffers for that senatorial bid, and then maybe even the Presidency."

If Graham's mouth could have dropped it would have hit the desk at that moment. No one outside his circle of trust even knew of those plans. He had been so careful to hide the money and the activities. Maybe she was just guessing.

"Before your brain goes into over load trying to figure out how I knew, it definitely wasn't a guess." Sarah moved around to the back of her boss and spoke into his ear. "Hmmm. What do you think will happen to the senatorial run if it is leaked how you deliberately kept an Agent from helping her family to further your goals and aspirations?" She let that sink in for a moment and then continued.

"What do you think the press would say when you forced a child into an abusive foster system, because you wouldn't inform his only remaining family member about what happened, or deliberately hid the deaths of her family from said Agent? I don't think that senatorial bid would last long. Do you?"

Sarah turned the computer towards her on the desk and accessed Word. Once she was done, she turned the screen back to face Graham and then walked behind him and leaned over his shoulder as her long blonde hair cascaded down across his face. So close he could smell the chlorine from the pool wafting thru his nostrils. "I have taken the liberty to draft my release from the CIA. You will notice the standard security nondisclosure statements, oh and you will pay to have the contents of my apartment in Georgetown shipped here and my Porsche. I know every inch of that car so you better make sure that whoever brings it here on the carrier is very good, because if I see one scratch on it then I will just have to come by for another visit. " Sarah stood up and looked into her now former bosses eyes and said "Wont that be nice?"

Graham started trying to talk and forced his lips apart but it came out as a whisper. "What was that Langston? Let me move in closer."

If she wasn't trained to school her emotions, her reaction would have been shock. However, since she was almost sure of the outcome, she added an addendum to her release letter. His request not really surprising her but she thought he would have tried to slip it in later.

****Agent Jennifer Burton while being released from the CIA will be available if called back to duty. She will be eligible for her full pension upon completion of this assignment****

She clicked print and grabbed two copies off of the printer. She placed them in front of Director Graham and said "Oh there is one other thing, I let you have your demand and I have two of my own. First, I want to keep my concealed gun permit, and I think the least you can do is to get me a decent job where I'm not being shot at. Seeing as how you can't write yet, I will let you sign it when the drug wears off and express it to me. Jenny then pulled the gun from her waist band and tapped it on his groin. "This had better come back to me the way I am leaving it or when I come back to visit next time I will break something that won't be able to be repaired."

Just before she turned to leave she looked at Graham one last time. "If you even think of going back on this deal, and or trying to contest the legality of this document, I have several copies of all of the information that I have ready to be shipped out to several media outlets. Let's not let that happen shall we. I expect my copy of my release sent to my lawyer by the end of the day today and a copy sent to me by tomorrow. Oh and please make sure that it is notarized." With that she pulled the clip out of the gun and disengaged the bullet form the chamber and tossed them out the window. She then grabbed her hair pins off the table and opened the office door to leave. As the door opens the younger Agent's face gives away the sheer terrified look of who comes calmly walking out the office door. Jenny looked his way and he flinched. She just chuckled to herself and calmly made her way to the elevator.

By the time she had arrived at Mr. Krantz's home, it was after 7pm. Sarah had a good cry at the life that she had just left behind in the cab and couldn't help but wonder what the future held for both her and her brother. But one thing was sure; he was now her top priority. After she arrived she quickly collected her brother and as they were heading out of the mansion, Leland pulled her aside. Once they were alone he leaned in and said "Listen Sarah, I maybe old but I am still very perceptive. We both know that you never were the attaché for the Ambassador of Italy. I won't bring it up again, however if you ever need someone to talk to I am here. I'll just say that I have the experience to understand your plight." Leland leaned back and got a huge smile on his face before continuing. "Oh and I found you a great place. Why don't you head down there in the next few days and check it out. Here is the address and take a look. If you like it, let me know, and I'll place a bid on it."

Sarah took the older mans offered hand in hers and just simply replied "Thank you Leland for everything that you have done for us."

* * *

August 12, 2002 8:00 AM

Sarah was in the elevator on the way back up to the room to check on Sebastian after her workout in the gym. He had had another sleepless night and even though she hated seeing him like this, there truly was nothing that she could do yet. They had to get established and after her talk with Graham the other day she knew that she needed to get her house in order in the event that that marker or as he called it favor was ever cashed in. His night terrors were starting to get worse not better and she knew that she would have to take him to someone soon.

As she entered the hotel suite and dropped her towel on the chair, she saw Sebastian sitting on the couch watching the cartoon network. As she grabbed an apple form the table she noticed an earlier morning fed ex delivery package was on the table.

"Sebastian, I thought I told you not to open the door for anyone"

He turned away from the TV and pointed at the hand written paper next to the package.

_Bellman brought this up. The package says it's from Mr. Krantz._

Sarah took the knife from the table and sliced open the envelope. There were two letters inside of the package. The first was from Mr. Krantz.

_Ms. Walker, _

_I am sorry that it has taken an extra day to get this back to you. I received this paperwork from a Government Agency; however they failed to have their notary sign it. I sent it back to be signed before you signed your portion of it. I did not read the paperwork, so you might want to review it again to make sure that everything is as it should be. _

Thenthere was the newly revised release statement with a signed and notarized copy of her release from the CIA. All she had to do was sign it, and send it over to Graham's office in D.C.

She then picked up the second letter and began to read it.

_Sarah,_

_I apologize for the way everything went down. In my defense I was trying to keep the country that we fight to protect day in and day out safe. I knew if I let my best operative go, that would mean that someone would have to replace you and to be honest there just isn't that person. I don't regret what I did, just how I did it. That said I will miss you. You were my protégé and I was grooming you to take my eventual replacement. However the way you controlled the situation the other day just shows how good you truly are. You walked out of an FBI office on your own terms while I and another agent were incapacitated. That said, I will honor my agreement with you and I hope that you do as well. It has been a fun ride, and don't worry your car will arrive safe and sound._

_Langston Graham_

Sarah placed the letter in the safe and signed the release document and was going to go down to the hotel lobby to mail it off when she noticed a small yellow post it note with some script on it.

_By the way you have an interview at UCLA for a teaching position at 12:00pm today try not to be late._

Sarah looked at the clock and it read 9:17am. Shit she would have to hustle if she was going to make it.

"Sebastian we need to go like now. I have a job interview in just over two hours, and we will barely make it even in the Porsche that we have rented."

Sebastian grabbed his game boy and back pack and headed to the door while Sarah jumped in what he could describe was the shortest shower in the history of man. As she was getting dressed, she called down to the Valet to get their car ready.

After a quick change that would make a vaudeville actor impressed, they made it down stairs by 9:50. Sarah tossed her blue blazer in the back of the car, as her white camisole flowed in the wind as they exited the lobby of the hotel when the valet handed her keys to her car. She flew down the 405 and was weaving in and out of traffic while applying her lipstick. She knew that her driving could affect Sebastian in a negative way, and she also knew that when Graham said he had an interview set up, that meant she already had the job but she still didn't want to be late.

She had down shifted to fourth to get around the slow guys in front of her, but then she jerked the wheel hard and placed it back into fifth gear and really let the engine loose. The car handled well enough, but it didn't ride as nice as her baby. Even though, she would be there soon enough. She saw the exit for UCLA, but she was in the farthest lane. She yanked the wheel hard and cut across five lanes of traffic to make the exit.

As she pulled off the exit, she looked at the time and it was 11:30 and she still had a twenty minute drive including finding parking. That's when she heard a siren. Sebastian turned around in his seat and saw the flashing lights. He pulled on her arm and pointed to the lights and sirens behind her. She pulled the red Porsche over and turned off the engine.

Sarah started banging her thumb to the point it was making a thumping noise on the wheel as she waited for the motorcycle officer to dismount his bike. She kept an eye on him out of the corner of her eye through the side mirror. It was a warm day so he had a short sleeve blue shirt on and while his clothes were a little baggy, they did not hide the long lean body underneath of them. He was standing at his bike talking on his radio when he bent over and grabbed his ticket book from his side satchel. He then unhooked his helmet, but left it on his head and started his walk towards her. Sarah noticed his name tag said Bartowski on it. He however never took off the mirrored sun glasses that he had on so she could not see his eyes.

"License and registration please"

"Listen officer uh…Bartowski, I know that I was speeding and I was just trying to make it to an interview…"

The officer shook his head back and forth, "So since you were late for an interview, you think you have the right to endanger the lives of all of the people driving on the highway, including the young man next to you? I'll ask you again License and registration please."

Sarah took a deep breath before speaking. "Officer, I do apologize, I am unfamiliar with the area,"

"Ma'am, for the last time license and registration please. Please don't make me have you step out of the car ma'am."

Sarah pulled out her purse and grabbed her license and her proof of insurance and handed them to the officer.

As Chuck took the id and noticed the name he stepped in front of the car to match the woman in the picture with who was in the car. It was her, the woman who had taken down that abuser and general idiot Daniel Shaw in the Hospital. He had to remain calm and keep his heart rate down and remain professional. He hadn't felt an instant attraction like this since he had met Kayla. _Kayla. Just thinking about_ _her made him forget about his attraction to the woman in front of him, and he got back down to business_.

"Mrs. Walker Do you realize that you were driving at a clocked speed of 95 miles an hour, and you performed an unsafe lane change across 5 Lanes of traffic. So aside from excessive speed, I also have you for excessive and reckless driving."

Sarah took her hand off of her head and looked straight at the officer. She had to swallow what she wanted to say and looked over at her brother.

"Officer I do apologize, and if you would like to follow me to the UCLA Campus I'd be more then glad to accept the ticket, I just cannot afford to lose this job."

"Ma'am do you really think that I would do that? Do I need to have you exit the vehicle and administer a field sobriety test?"

Sarah again looked at the officer's face and could not read what he was thinking so she decided not to chance it. "No officer"

Chuck started writing his tickets and knew what she had gone thru in the last few weeks, as he looked up the story that night that he had arrived back to the station with Daniel Shaw in tow. That said he couldn't just let this maniac of a woman off completely.

"Mrs. Walker your driving record is clean, and from what I can tell you have never had a speeding ticket. I have reduced your speeding to 75 miles an hour. You will still have the aggressive driving charge, as well as the unsafe lane change. The ticket is a $275 fine and 3 points on your record. You can appeal this if you like in front of a judge if that is your wish."

Chuck handed the book to Sarah and had her sign the tickets. He then detached her copies and handed them to her along with her license. "Be Careful out there Ma'am, and remember there are other drivers on the road aside from yourself."

Sarah handed the ticket to Sebastian who had a smirk on his face. "Oh shut up" she then glanced at the clock and noticed that it was 11:55am. She silently cursed and drove towards the College. It was 12:15 when she entered the office of the President of the College. She immediately apologized to the secretary for having been late, but she then told Sarah that her Interview wasn't until 1pm.

* * *

August 13, 2003

Sarah's mind had been drifting in and out of consciousness for the last few hours. She was pretty sure that she had gotten the job that she had interviewed for, but that damned cop just had to pull her over and give her a ticket and almost made her late for her interview and on top of that she just could not get him out of her mind no matter how much she had tried. She now had to find a way to get back at Graham for playing that trick on her. She had mailed out the resignation form, as well as placed a copy for herself inside of her safe the night before. So this morning she had planned on taking advantage and was attempting to sleep in for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately, her brother had other ideas as she felt her brother use the bed as a trampoline.

"Sebastian, just another hour. Please."

Bounce, bounce

"SEBASTIAN" Sarah yelled as she buried her head farther into the pillow. Sebastian got a wicked smile; and then he took a pillow and nailed her right in the head with it.

"Oh, it is so on!" Sarah grabbed her pillow and swung it and hit him right in the side of the stomach. He was laughing so much that he didn't see his sister come in for another swing until it was too late. WHACK. A shot right to the head and he fell over like a log.

Sarah stood triumphantly over her younger brother. "Now why on earth did you wake me up so early?"

Sebastian used one of the only signs that he had been taught at the family home services and performed the sign for hungry and needed to eat. He also had this far off look on his face that Sarah had now realized meant that he had been thinking of their family. Sarah for her part never had her sister or her mother far from her thoughts, but after the toll of the last few days she just needed to rest and relax. "Ok squirt, this is what we'll do, I will order some food, and then we're going to take a shower. When I'm done you can take one, then we'll go to check the place that Mr. Krantz found, and maybe we will hit the beach afterward. Does that sound good?"

Sebastian nodded his head and went back to watch Justice League on cartoon network, while Sarah ordered some room service. She then grabbed her clothes for the day, and retreated to the shower. After her shower Sarah, came out rubbing her hair with a towel, and glanced at her brother who was sitting in the chair by the door. "Hey kiddo, it's your turn."

Roughly 45 minutes later they were on their way down the (PCH not sure if this is the correct highway) towards Burbank, Sarah was mentally going over her checklist of things that still needed to be done. She was waiting on Graham to have her belongings and car brought across the country from her apartment in Georgetown, and she still needed to find out if she had gotten the job that she interviewed for the other day. They had been driving for good hour or so when Sebastian poked her in the shoulder and pointed to the next street on the left. To her right she could see the ocean. It didn't seem to be too far from the complex that they were going to look at and the arcade that she had remembered was at a pier not too far from here either. She pulled into the space and took a look around.

Security wise the complex looked good. It was sort of built like a fort, with only one way in. Walking through the arch way she noticed the huge center piece fountain in the middle of the common area, and off to the left was a young woman about her own age hanging decorations.

"Umm Excuse me?" Sarah asked trying not to scare the woman on the ladder.

The brunette turned around. The first thing Sarah noticed was her warm smile and big brown eyes. They looked slightly familiar to her, but she couldn't place them at the moment. The brunette climbed down the ladder, wiping her hands on her pants, and then came over to greet her.

"Hi. Can I help you?"

"Umm yes, I was here to look at the vacant apartment that is for sale, but I'm not quite sure where 2F is."

"Sure, I'll show you were it is at, my name is Ellie. She then reached her hand out and Sarah shook it.

"My Name is Sarah, and this is my brother Sebastian." She motioned to the lump attached to her hip at the moment.

Ellie bent down and saw how skittish he was, but kept it to herself at the moment. "Well hi Sebastian my name is Ellie. It's nice to meet you." She stuck her hand out and after a few moments he gradually took it and shook it.

Ellie could tell there was something wrong with the boy when he did not speak and he stood closer to his older sister. "Well here, let me take you up these stairs over here, and the apartment is just to the left."

A few moments later after a short walk they arrived at their destination.

"Thank you."

"Oh, it was nothing" Ellie said as she waved her hand in a dismissive motion.

"Come on Sebastian lets go check the place out."

"If you need anything, let me know, I'll be right out here."

Sarah and Sebastian walked up the stairs and found the apartment. Once they were inside, she had to say it was nicer then she thought. The back window had a pretty good view of the ocean. There were 2 bedrooms, an office nook area, and decent size kitchen.

"So what do you say Seb, do you think we could live here?"

Sebastian just nodded up and down. Sarah pulled her cell phone out and called Mr. Krantz telling him to make an offer on the place for her. Even though the trusts were locked up in probate at the moment they can be accessed for certain things. Getting a home was one of them.

As they descended the stairs, Ellie had just put the banner up that read "The End of the Summer Blast." Sarah was brought out of her thoughts when she heard "Do you think it's straight?"

Sarah replied "Yep, it looks good"

"Thanks, I love to cook and have parties here in the courtyard. Are you guys going to be moving in?"

"It looks like it, I called my attorney to put an offer in on it, we'll find out soon."

"That's terrific. Are you married or?"

"No" Sarah said, but looked down after her words had just tumbled out.

"SO are you single?" Ellie was trying her best not to push.

"Let's just say I'm not attached at the moment."

"You look like you have had a rough time lately, why don't you come in for some tea."

"Thank you, but I promised Seb we would go to the beach. Thank you for your hospitality."

"No harm, your brother can play some games in my brother's old room, and we can talk for a few minutes. I promise I don't bite..."

Realizing that she wasn't getting out of there that fast Sarah relented and followed Ellie into her apartment.

As she walked in Sarah looked at Ellie asked, "This is a nice place you have, is it just you and you said your brother?"

"No, no, I live here with my fiancé. He's at work today; I took the day off to decorate. My brother used to live here for a bit, but he moved out a while ago." As she finished her statement, Ellie's voice got quieter and seemed to lose emotion.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to pry, no worries, let me get Sebastian set up, and I'll be right back."

Ellie took Sebastian to a room on the ground floor and got him set up with a Nintendo game system that Chuck had left there. While she was in the room with Sebastian Sarah took a look around. There were tons of photos all over the place. There were a lot with Ellie, and what Sarah assumed was her fiancé since there was no family resemblance at all. Then there were some with another man in a police uniform. He had his hair short, but you could see the eyes were the same as Ellie. Again, the feeling of familiarity hit her, but she couldn't place it. As she made her way thru the photos, she came across another one of Ellie and the unnamed man, but he was younger, maybe just entering college. Sarah stopped on the photo and stared as she unconsciously picked the photo off the wall. It looked like the man that she remembered from her dreams; the one who had been haunting her since she had been back in CA. It's just wasn't possible she thought as she ran her fingertip across his face. She felt her cheeks warm.

When Ellie got near Sarah again she shook her head and a small smile slowly grew on her face. Sarah just stood there, staring at the picture. Even under the faint light, there was certain clarity in her eyes, one that hadn't been there before: attraction.

"That's my younger brother, Chuck in happier times. Now he's a Police officer."

Sarah froze. After taking a huge breath, she realized she had stopped breathing. _How could a picture have done this to me? _

"Sarah,"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I'm tired."

Ellie watched as Sarah slowly removed her finger from the picture. "There isn't a day that goes by when I'm not scared for his life."

Ellie shook her head, "And this is my fiancé Devon" Ellie said trying to put a smile on her face, "He's Cardiothoracic surgeon." Ellie replied handing Sarah a glass of tea.

Sarah put the picture down, he was definitely the man from her dreams, the man she met in the arcade all those years ago. "You have a nice family"

"Thank you. What about the rest of yours?"

"It's just me and Sebastian now, our family was killed in a motor vehicle accident a few months ago. I was just reunited with him. My old Job overseas kept me out of the country for a while."

"I am so sorry," Ellie said as she took a sip from her glass. "Is that why Sebastian doesn't speak?"

"We don't know for sure. He was there and saw the whole thing. The Doctor's at Cedars said that they could find nothing wrong with him, but he just won't speak. I haven't been back long enough to look into anyone that might be able to help him."

Just then Ellie's phone started to ring. "Excuse me one second."

As Ellie went to answer, Sarah again looked at the photo of Ellie's brother. She never got his name just the initials CIB, but that would be way too much of a coincidence. However, Ellie said in happier times, she had wondered what she meant by that.

"Hey Bryce, you talked to him right."

"Bryce. Dammit he hasn't been to a party since well since he got back. You need to make him come"

"I don't care; drag him down here if you have to. Nag him"

"Yes nag him like I am nagging you."

Ellie placed her palm over her face.

"Yes Bryce, there will be plenty of single nurses here for you to hit on. You just need to make sure that he gets here ok. Thanks Bryce"

Ellie hung up the phone. "Sorry about that, without going through all the details, my brother lost someone awhile back, but unlike you, he seems content to destroy his life by living like a hermit."

"It's ok; I can tell that you love him very much."

"Yeah it's just been the two of us since our parents left us when we were still basically children. So if you ever need any advice or help with Sebastian just ask, I've been through it."

"Thanks Ellie, you are being awfully kind to a stranger that you just met. "

"Yeah well it gets even better I am neurologist, and once you guys are settled let me take a look at your brother and see if there is anything that I can find wrong with him. And if there's not then I know a lot of top people who might be able to help in other fields."

Sarah had to keep the tears from welling up in her eyes. And whispered "Thank you"

"Not a problem at all. Now you have a beach to visit and I have a party to finish setting up for." As they walked down the hallway to get Sebastian Ellie again caught Sarah staring again at her brothers photos along the wall, she would save that for later if there was one. Once they got there Sarah finally spoke up.

"Hey Sebastian time to go."

"Have a good time Sebastian and it was nice meeting you. Remember if you guys are still around this evening stop back by."

"Again Thank you Ellie, it was nice meeting you and thanks for the help."

"Anytime you need advice or just need some encouragement here is my number just give me a call."

After they left and got in the car. Sarah looked at Sebastian and said "I think we will like living here what do you think squirt?"

Sebastian just nodded and looked back down at his hands.

* * *

August 13, 2002 5:00pm

Officer Chuck Bartowski, had just gotten off a 10 hour shift. He decided to work out a bit in the precinct gym. He had been on the job for just over nine months, and had already had two commendations for meritorious service. That said his sister still gave him grief whenever they talked. The good thing was they hadn't really talked that much since he had joined the force. It was always the same things with her, why haven't you moved on, when will you finish your degree, and when will you stop this need to be a cop.

She just didn't get it this was his life now, and it wasn't changing anytime soon. It didn't help that he hadn't been able to get the image of Sarah Walker out of his mind since the other day. It was then that again the image of Kayla had come into this mind and he started working on the speed bag even harder as he couldn't get the two people out of his mind when he heard the muffled sounds of his cell phone from underneath his towel. He looked at the caller id and knew who it was instantly.

"Hey Bryce"

"No I didn't forget about Ellie's party, I'm just not coming." Chuck replied while wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Look Bryce, I know I keep dodging her, and I know it's her annual end of summer fest, but look I am working out in the gym at the moment. How about I call you back tomorrow huh?"

"Look I don't want to get into another fight with her, and I don't want any of her nurse friends trying to hook up with me ok. I did it once, and the woman became a stalker. That was my one and only time since Kayla."

Chuck squeezed his temple while pulling his gloves on his glove and responded "Dammit, I didn't want to get into this."

Chuck started lacing up his gloves, while balancing the phone on his shoulder.

"I know I should make an olive branch, and if you can guarantee me that she will lay off, I'd come by."

"Right, like you and Morgan always run interference for me with the woman. I know I know you love it. OK. OK. I promise I will be there, now let me finish my work out. Thanks buddy. Alright I'll see you later."

Chuck tossed the phone down and walked over to the heavy bag and started pounding on it. It wasn't that he didn't love his sister. He truly did and she was all of the family that he had left. He loved spending time with Devon, and right now he had been spending more time with him then her. The problem was that Ellie, for all her good intentions, did not know when to lay off. She had even gone as far as having Morgan try and get him to open up and come to the party. But he listened as well as she did and He ended up getting both of them mad at him. Bryce, well at Least Bryce was like Devon They both knew how to lay off when they could see that he was getting stressed out over the topics at hand. Chuck, never realized though how much anger that he had until he caught himself laying into the bag pretty good, lefts and rights were pounding into the heavy bag. Sweat was pouring from his brow and finally he jumped up and did a back spin kick and knocked the bag pretty well into the air. He stopped and caught the heavy bag and leaned into it. At a distance no one could tell if there were tears flowing from his eyes or if it was just sweat. All that he could think about was Kayla and Sarah. While Kayla never left his thoughts for long, this new interruption by a certain blonde was a complication that he neither had time for, nor had any inkling of even thinking about. He didn't have a death wish but if something happened on his patrol and he got injured he wouldn't ask them to save his life. Everything he knew was gone and now his mission, his life was to help others and put the bad guys behind bars before they could take a loved one form someone else.

As he leaned against the wall to cool off Commander Beckman's assistant, Hannah Watkins, walked up.

Hannah Watkins.

"Excuse me Office Bartowski, I know your off duty, but Commander Beckman would like a word with you."

"Sure, just let her know I'm going to shower up and i'll be right there."

"Please hurry. Street clothes will be fine."

**15 minutes later **

Chuck walks up to Commander Beckman's office and notices a red head, and a slightly older man already in there. He knocks on the door and waited to be waved in.

As soon as he opened the door he can feel all of the eyes in the room fall upon him as he walks in wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans and a black button down shirt. He glances at every face and notices a distinctly different reaction.

Beckman had the same unreadable stone faced look that she was known for on her, the asshat in the suit looked like he had a stick up his butt, and the look on his face said "I'm not impressed". Then there was the red head. Her whole aura radiated sexuality, and if he were honest with himself if he was looking and interested he might have even reciprocated the look, but at the moment all he could feel like was that he was "Lunch".

He shook hands with every one and introduced himself as Officer Charles "Chuck" Bartowski.

"Officer Bartowksi, please have a seat. I'm not going to beat around the bush, this is the local DEA field Director Christopher Fedak and this is DEA Agent Carina Hanson. They need someone with an engineering degree and computer experience to come on board for an undercover mission and I'm assigning you to them."

"Commander, not that I am saying no…"

"Good, because that is not an option Officer"

"But don't they have people who already work for the DEA who have those fields covered?"

"We do. However we need someone from the outside on this." Fedak replied, and then Carina spoke up. "Someone who will go unnoticed and blend in so to speak. You will be perfect, plus you get to work with me." The red head smiled again.

"So just to be sure, you need me because no one knows me, and there is an apparent leak in the LA DEA field office."

Fedak looked frustrated, as if he did not like to be corrected, "If you would like to put it like that, then yes."

"So how long will I be on loan for?"

"Agent Hanson will need you to change your appearance a bit, you will have to grow your hair out a little longer and stop shaving. She will help you fit into the role and then you will be brought in a few weeks."

"Last question, who exactly are we taking down?"

"The Caulderone Family"

"Ladies and Gentleman, if you could give me a moment with my officer."

Once the door was shut Beckman stared Chuck down. "Listen, this assignment will do both wonders for your career and mine. Be smart and be safe, but over everything else be effective and make us shine."

"Why me Commander?"

Beckman raised an eyebrow before continuing, "Chuck, even on your résumé you are a nerd. Why you are a cop, when you could be making big money, I don't know. Two, you have volunteered for every off the wall dangerous assignment since you have started working here. I don't know if you are an adrenaline junkie, or just have a death wish, but this seems tailor made for you. Look Mr. Bartowski, You have gone thru three partners in your time here. Your training officer Baker, Sgt. Hooker and even officer Poncherello with whom has done some dumb things as well in the past. That said you still follow the rules, and this could put you on the map."

"Yes Ma'am….one last…"

"Good Day Officer Bartowski."

Chuck stood up and left the room, as he shut the door behind him, he caught a glimpse of the fiery red hair of one Agent Carina Hanson.

"Hey Chuckles, can you give me a lift back to my hotel?"

Chuck sighed and looked up to the sky as if to ask why me.

"Sure where are you staying?"

"The Ventura"

"Yeah, come on, I hope you don't mind the ride though."

Carina looked at him puzzled and followed him to the underground parking garage until he stopped in front of a motor bike. Carina walked around the bike, her red manicured fingertip gliding across the top of the bike.

"Officer Bartowski, you continue to surprise me. I think that we will be great… friends." As she said this she reached down and pinched Chuck's ass as he straddled the bike.

"We won't be those types of friends Carina."

"Why are you gay? I'd be happy to try and bring you back to the other side."

"No I'm not gay; I just don't do casual, or any type of other relationship. They get in the way."

"Get in the way of what?"

"Of my job, now if you don't mind, I have to make a quick stop on the way to your hotel, at a liquor store."

"Why Chuckie, you don't need to ply me with alcohol for me to be interested"

"It's Chuck, and it's just a gift for my sister."

"Well just remember the invitation is always open."

Chuck put the visor down on his helmet and started his bike and felt the engine roar to life. He then turned the throttle and felt the tire squeal as he let the brake loose and took off. Carina grabbed on tight to the man who had just turned her down. No man, or woman for that matter, had ever turned her down, aside from Jennifer Burton. Her ego took a dent, but she decided that she was going to take this challenged like a taking a bull by the horns.

As Chuck weaved thru the downtown lanes of traffic, he couldn't help but feel bad for the woman who sat behind him. He hadn't felt anything for almost anyone since Kayla. She consumed his thoughts at night, and during the day when he was off. It was hard to move on when your every fiber of your being holds onto something for dear life. He knew she wouldn't want him to take his own life, but if something where to happen in the line of duty well, that was a different story. Chuck wasn't looking for a way out; he was just looking for something to take the pain and loss away. Jack and coke has been that crutch. It dulled the pain. But he would have to find something else to fill that void soon. He needed to be more careful; he had already lost 3 partners, and if he wasn't careful Beckman could use this as an excuse to get rid of him. He liked what he did including helping people especially the children.

He pulled up in front of McGivney's Liquor store. Carina went in to grab something for herself, and Chuck went to the wine aisle. The clerk had noticed them both walk in and probably under his assumption that they were together, but he went back to watching the TV behind the counter. As Chuck was in the back of the store checking on the wine he heard the door open and three loud men walked in. One told the clerk to freeze and pointed a gun at him. Chuck put the wine bottle down and placed his hand under the back of his jacket to grab his off duty weapon. He was about to draw it when he heard one of the other men address Carina.

"Well look what we have here, a fine piece of ass, come here red!"

Chuck slid back to the back of the rack trying to gauge Carina's response.

"Please, don't hurt me, look I'll do anything you want, just please don't hurt me."

"You are one fine looking woman aren't you, and you're gonna love me taking you aren't you?"

"Anything you want please just not here in the back, ok" Carina sniffled as the man grabbed her by the arm.

"Hey, I'm gonna take my time, so find the safe and get it open. Come on girlie, we gonna have some fun"

Chuck knew that Carina could handle herself and was glad that she got one of the men out of the picture now he could act.

He drew his weapon and his badge and quietly walked to the middle of the aisle and pulled the hammer back on his gun behind the man at the register with the gun.

"POLICE FREEZE!"

"Put your gun on the ground and then put your hands in the air" Chuck yelled sternly.

"Ok, OK man. Just don't shoot."

As the man placed the gun on the ground, Chuck instructed him to kick it over to him. Meanwhile the third robber came up behind Chuck as the other robber kicked the gun over.

"Now why do all cops feel the need,"As the man started to talk, thinking he got the drop on Chuck; Chuck swung his left arm around and produced a second pistol in his hand. "Try it, and see how fast I can pull this trigger." Now both Assailants had a gun on them.

Chuck looked at the Cashier and said "Call the police now and tell them there is a robbery going on and that an officer needs assistance. " The clerk nodded and started dialing. Meanwhile, Chuck had his body turned enough that he could keep an on both men and their guns at his feet.

He was motioning for the man in front of him to join his buddy, when a scream came from the back room. However, it wasn't from a woman. The man who had gone to the back ran out of the back room holding his privates and a big red stain was forming down his leg. At the same moment, the guy to the left of chuck pulled a knife and stabbed chuck in the left side before Chuck squeezed the trigger and shot the suspect. The other suspect picked up one of the guns and shot at Chuck erratically. His first shot missed the second hit him in the right shoulder. However Carina had come charging out of the back room, and fired her gun into the second suspect.

"Chuck you ok?"

"Yeah Carina, how about you?"

Carina checked on the clerk who was shaking behind the counter, and then checked on her partner who hadn't come out of the aisle yet.

"Chuck your hurt"

"Yeah but it's not bad just a scratch." He kept his body turned from her so she didn't see the wounds on his left side. He kept pressing his jacket into it to keep pressure on it.

"Carina, you have to get out of here, you need to preserve your cover."

"I can't just leave you wounded like this"

"You can, and you will, I'll be fine. Trust me."

Carina grabbed her gun and fled out the back door, as the sirens approaching got louder and louder. Chuck let go of his side and sunk farther onto the floor as he looked at his blood covered hand and to the floor next to him.

* * *

Echo Park Apartment Complex 8:15pm

The party had been going full blast for some time now. Ellie was checking on the platters when she realized that she hadn't seen her brother yet. She searched the crowd and found Devon talking with Bryce and Jill on the other side of the courtyard.

"Bryce did you, or did you not say that you talked to Chuck, and that he would be here."

"Yes Ellie, for the tenth time I talked to him, and he promised to be here"

"Then where is he?"

"Ellie, I don't know, but let me try calling him again."

"Oh forget it I will call himself."

Ellie stood there tapping her foot while her phone dialed the number. It went straight to voice mail.

"Ell" Devon said as he turned her towards the front of the courtyard. The noise of the party, the people laughing and enjoying the music, just faded away as Ellie watched two police officers wade thru the crowd. The officer asked a partier a question, and they pointed directly at her.

In just a second, all of Eleanor Bartowski's nightmares came true.

* * *

A/N 2: Please review even if it is bad just to let me know what you thought i would really apprciate it. I can't improve if you dont speak up and let me know.


	11. Life, Death, and New Beginnings

**A/N:** Here is the next chapter in this story. I apologize for the wait on this one. It has actually been done for about a month now, but has gone thru several rewrites and edits. Your opinions matter to me, so I want you to read the very best I can do. Again, to the few readers who are still out there thank you. This chapter culminates the first arc. The next chapter, which is done and in beta, starts the next arc of the story. The happier side or at least happier then the first half. I need to thank BDaddyDL for his tireless conversations with me on going back and forth over this chapter; PJ Murphy for his awesome beta as well. He did what a great Beta should. He saw some scenes that needed a rewrite and made sure it was fixed. I'm glad he's there. They both kept at me to make it a better chapter so this chapter is dedicated to them. Still no Charah in this chapter, but it is coming, by chapter 13 it will be there or at least the beginning. To all of you left reading please leave a review. It helps me make the story better, and lets me know your still there. As always much love goes to my wife and daughter for their continued support. Ken I hope your back is better buddy.

**Chapter 11: Life and Death and New Beginnings**

_Beep…beep…beep…_

He could see the lights passing by quickly as he was being wheeled thru the hallways. He could make out certain things that were being said in the background.

_Lost a lot of blood!_

_Beep…beep…beep…_

As he started at the ceiling passing by, drifting in and out of consciousness, there was a white haze that surrounded everything that came with in his field of vision.

_There's a bilateral laceration stretching from his left abdomen to his rear kidney._

_Beep…beep…beep…_

He could feel a tear force its way from his right eye and travel down his cheek. _I'll be with you soon, baby._ _I hope you waited for me, Kayla. _He could feel his jaw being pried open and a tube slowly inserted intohis mouth.

_This is an off-duty police officer; let's do whatever it takes to save him._

That was the last thing Chuck heard before the darkness took him. If he could have said one thing to them, it would have been to let him die. Then it all faded away to nothing.

\~*~/

The waiting room was packed wall-to-wall with cops. Some were praying, others were remembering the times that they had shared with the victim and/or reliving old war stories of injuries and tense situations. Others were just quietly sitting and staring at the wall. But the one thing that they all had in common was every time the O.R. security door swung open; they would turn and stare at whoever would come out. A few times they had seen nurses rushing out for more blood packs and looking for more gauze. One nurse came out and her scrubs were covered in blood. But then the doors would close again and it would be back to waiting.

Coming from the other direction, they could hear the clacking of heels and shoes. They looked up and saw Commander Beckman coming down the corridor with Police Chief Sanborn and the police chaplain, Father O'Scanlin. The news hadn't hit the airwaves yet who from the LAPD was injured. However there were news crews on scene collecting reactions and waiting anxiously for word, as were the officers in the waiting room. The officer in charge, Sergeant Welton Keyes, walked up to the new trio who gave them all of the information they had at the moment. Father O'Scanlin broke off from the trio and went over to the group of officers who were sitting in the chairs and talked with them, attempting to counsel them through this crisis. He made sure he talked to Officer Baker, Officer Poncharello, and Sergeant Hooker, all of whom were Chuck's former partners.

Commander Beckman looked down the hallway, trying to figure out how all of this happened, when she caught a glimpse of the fiery red hair that she hadn't seen since that agent was in her office earlier this afternoon.

"Excuse me, gentlemen. I will be right back."

Commander Beckman made her way towards the stairwell where she found Agent Carina Hansen.

"Alright, Agent Hansen. Would you care to tell me why my officer is fighting for his life in the O.R., and yet you sit here unscathed?"

The agent looked down at her feet. She wasn't used to being dressed down like this, especially from a woman who had to crane her neck to look up at her. But there was little question this woman instilled a level of discomfort and fear that would rival a cartel boss.

Carina closed her eyes and stood up straight. When she spoke, it came out in a dull monotone that was completely devoid of her traditional mischievous lilt. "Officer Bartowski and I stopped at this liquor store on the way back to my apartment to get a present for his sister. I looked around while he picked out a bottle of wine, and three armed men came into the store attempting to rob it. I pretended to be a civilian and convinced one of the men to take me to the back. Chuck managed to gain the upper hand on the other two, and I came out to help him after taking my assailant out. But then my man tried to escape, and the diversion was enough for one of the men out front to shoot Chuck in the shoulder. He told me to protect my identity since I was working an undercover case. He never said a thing about being stabbed. Had I known, I would never have left him, ma'am."

Beckman took a moment to think about it. "Very well. Now get out of here before anyone sees you. I will personally keep you updated through your boss should any new information come in."

"Yes, ma'am."

Beckman turned to leave when she was stopped in her tracks by a hand.

"Oh and ma'am? I know you aren't happy with the guy, but he saved that clerk's life and mine, too. He's a genuine hero."

Beckman just nodded. "Thank you, Agent Hansen."

With that, the diminutive commander walked away.

Carina decided to hit the bar at the hotel and find someone who could take her mind off of this mess. Beckman walked outside to rejoin the Chief. Both stopped when they saw a wild-eyed brunette woman storm into the hospital with a tall, blonde-haired gentleman trying to restrain her. Judging by her looks and the way some of the officers in the waiting room gasped upon seeing her, Beckman concluded it had to be Chuck's sister, Ellie.

"What exactly is going on with Charles Bartowski?" Ellie bellowed throughout the ward.

"Miss, as I have told the other officers, we will update the situation as soon as we have new information," the harried duty nurse replied. "But at the moment we have a full patient load and are extremely busy."

Ellie grabbed the edges of the counter and gave the duty nurse a look that could scare the toughest Marine. "My name is Dr. Eleanor Bartowski, and the officer who was injured, Officer Bartowski, I, I mean Chuck is my brother. Now either you get me an update on his condition or I'm going to walk back there myself and raise hell!"

"Is there a problem here?" a voice with enough authority behind it to make everybody stop and pay attention cut through the hallway like a hot knife thru butter.

Ellie turned and looked around to see where the voice came from. She had to get her bearings, as she couldn't believe a voice that commanding came from the diminutive redhead in front of her.

"Just who do you think you are?" Ellie said defiantly as she put her hands on her hips.

"My name is Diane Beckman, and I am your brother's commanding officer," Beckman said, attempting to remain calm. "If you will come with me, I'll explain what's going on."

"Listen, lady. I'm not putting up with anymore police department bullshit! I already got that crap from the two morons who brought me here! It's your fault…"

"DOCTOR Bartowski," Beckman replied sternly, leaving no doubt who was in charge. "The officers who accompanied you were under orders not to say a thing. That is my responsibility. And as much as I understand your anger, I will not permit you to turn this hospital upside-down simply because they were doing their job. Now please come with me unless you prefer being escorted out of the building."

The nurse who was dressed down by Ellie looked nervously at the standoff between the two women. "I'll…I will go and see if I can get an update for you."

Beckman gestured to the small office she commandeered from the hospital to gather information on the incident, and Ellie strode angrily into it.

"Your brother was involved in a shooting at a nearby liquor store," Beckman began. "Three men tried to rob the place. He was injured attempting to apprehend the crooks. He's in surgery right now. He managed to take down two of the assailants and saved the lives of the liquor store clerk and a DEA agent."

The talk of Chuck being a hero didn't slow Ellie down one bit. "Why do you even have my brother out on the streets? Don't you know his résumé? He could be anything he wanted. Look, it's no secret that I hate that he joined the police department. He could have been an electrical engineer or a computer programmer. He was working on a double degree from Stanford, for Christ's sake. He could have been the next Bill Gates. You know how close he came to graduating? He was only two credits short! And then his fiancé was killed on 9/11…"

Ellie looked down at the ground as her emotions began to overwhelm her. The wheels started to turn in Beckman's mind on the project that she had been thinking about for some time.

Beckman lightly touched Ellie's arm. "Dr. Bartowski, I know all about your brother's fiancé, and I sympathize. Just like every new officer in the department, your brother is a beat cop. I have studied his file backwards and forwards. I knew he went to Stanford, and I knew he had classes in computers, but I never knew the extent of his degree or what he needed to finish. He came to us looking for direction and we have given him that. We have given him a purpose. However, after hearing this I believe…and this is something that I have had in mind for a while now…I have a solution to your worries and a way to move Charles along in his career. I can't give you any more details, but just know that I am working on something that can take him off the patrol division and take his career to the next level."

She wasn't done talking but There was a knock at the door and a doctor came in. "Excuse me, Dr. Bartowski? Commander Beckman? If you'd like to step outside, I can give you an update on your brother."

The two women got up and exited the room as Devon came by Ellie's side and put an arm around her.

"My name is Dr. Mark Shepherd..."

"What are you, an intern?" Ellie interrupted with considerable derision. "You look like you're eighteen. I want to talk to the attending.…"

Ellie was interrupted by Beckman clearing her throat. Ellie looked at her, and the stare Beckman gave put her back in line.

"Can you teach me that?" Devon whispered to Beckman, who received an even nastier glare from Beckman in return. "Another time."

"As I was saying before I was interrupted," the doctor paused and stared at Devon before continuing as the officers in the waiting room gathered to hear the news as well. "My name is Dr. Mark Shepherd, and yes, I am an intern. I was sent out to give you the update from Dr. Steinway, who is trying to save your brother's life. Your brother was brought in with a gunshot wound to the shoulder, which thankfully went through and through, so the damage there was minimal. The knife wound to his stomach is the problem. He has lost a lot of blood and the laceration nicked his kidney."

Some of the officers in the waiting room gasped in shock and sank back into their seats. Beckman looked towards the stairwell and saw the red hair and now pale face of the DEA agent turn away. She then refocused her attention on the doctor.

"Officer Bartowski flat-lined, but we shocked his heart back into normal rhythm."

Ellie felt her knees go weak and Devon wrapped an arm around her and helped hold her upright. "Babe just be strong," he whispered into her ear. "Everything will be OK."

Ellie held onto Devon to derive some strength from him before standing straight and looking the intern in the eye. "Has anyone done a CAT scan yet to see if there was any brain damage from the lack of oxygen from when he crashed?"

"No, not yet. We are still working on trying to save his kidney. He has been given two transfusions of blood, but with the repairs that we are making we may need more. I encourage everyone here to get tested by the duty nurses to see if anyone's blood type is compatible."

"I want to be brought in on the neurology consult."

"Dr. Bartowski, you know that that's not going to happen. We will not bend the rules just because of your relationship to the patient."

Ellie looked ready to attack Dr. Shepherd, and Devon placed both hands on Ellie to restrain her, waiting until she calmed down again.

"I will have the neurologist on call come speak with you once the tests have been performed," Dr. Shepherd concluded. "Other than that, I will be back with further updates as they happen."

r. Shepherd left the area and returned to the O.R. Ellie sat down as the nurses came over and asked that a line be formed for everyone to get tested to see if they could donate blood. The line formed instantly as every officer stood, glad to finally take some kind of action.

\~*~/

It had been hours since the last update. Ellie had been an emotional wreck, and to make it worse, Devon had just come back with two cups of coffee only to find out the doctor told Ellie they had to reopen Chuck as his kidney had failed, and they were forced to remove it.

"Ellie, hey, it's going to be OK," Devon said in a soothing voice, attempting to keep his wife calm. "He can survive with only one kidney and still have a successful career. We just need to stay strong for him and support him. You know Chuck. He's not going to take the loss of his kidney well and the limitations that it will force him to impose on himself."

She dabbed her eyes. "I know, Devon. Just how much more can he survive, though? First the loss of Kayla, and now his career? This will devastate him." She took several deep breaths. "Maybe it will be a blessing. Maybe it will help him to slow down and not take so many risks…"

But Ellie was broken out of her thoughts as the doors flew open. Bryce and Morgan came running through the halls.

Morgan huffed like a steam engine attempting to start as he was sorely out of breath. "Is he…is he..?"

"Easy there, Morgan." Bryce patted him on the back and looked into Ellie's eyes. He could see the tears that were slowly forming again. "Ellie, is he going to be OK?"

"We…we don't know yet. The doctor…" Ellie's shoulders started to shake again and Devon tightened his grip on her.

Bryce put his hand up. "Ellie don't worry about it. You can tell us later, we aren't going anywhere. We sent everyone home and put everything in the freezer. We didn't tell them why you left; just that an emergency had come up and that you would reschedule the party."

"Thank you guys" Ellie wiped a stray tear from her eye. "Thank you, guys."

Their attention was diverted from the nurse's station, no one noticed the somber physician come up behind Ellie. She gently placed her hand on Ellie's shoulder and leaned down.

"Excuse me, Dr. Bartowski. Can…can I have you come with me to the conference room over…"

Ellie forcefully pushed herself out of the chair. "NO!" she screamed. "No, no, no, no you are not taking me to that room! I will not hear it! I won't listen to it!"

Devon wrapped his arms protectively around Ellie. He had given the very same speech that he knew was coming to many times. _We're sorry but your loved one has passed away_. Or _we did everything we could._ No matter how it was worded, it was still the worst part about being a doctor. He knew that he needed to stay strong for her, but his heart was tearing away as he felt like he was about to lose a brother in his own right.

Bryce and Morgan stared at each other, and it finally dawned on them as to what this actually meant. Ellie's sobs became harder and harder. Yet she still refused to come to the room, even though the doctor who was trying to console her all but begged Ellie to come with her.

They had finally started to make their way to the room when the doors from the O.R. opened again. Another man in scrubs came out rubbing his head through the cap as his eyes showed exhaustion, stress, and heartbreak.

"Eleanor Bartowski?"

"That's me."

She stood up straight with the help of Devon, and all of the cops stood up as well.

"Ma'am, my name is Dr. Steinway. I am so sorry. We tried everything we could, but you're brother just lost too much blood. We couldn't…"

Ellie collapsed to the floor and fell completely apart. Tears flowed from her unabated, and her mind didn't even register her shortness of breath and tunnel vision were the first signs of a full-blown panic attack.

"He promised he would never leave me," she wailed over and over as her shoulders heaved.

Devon slid to the ground to take Ellie into his arms as a nurse rushed over with an oxygen mask for Ellie. But Devon couldn't provide much comfort to Ellie, given he was beginning to break down himself. Chuck was more of a brother to him than his actual brothers were, and a small part of him was dying inside. Morgan fell back into the chair and began to shake as he buried his head in his hands. Bryce leaned against the wall, his blue eyes completely devoid of their traditional impish twinkle. Even though they hadn't spoken much since Chuck joined the police force, there was little doubt Bryce felt like he just lost a member of his family. Diane Beckman never showed emotion, but even she fell silently back into her chair placed her hand over her mouth. She never dared to look back over her shoulder to the small window in the door behind her, as she would have seen the hard-assed redhead DEA agent whom Chuck saved sobbing quietly. Filling out the scene were the other officers around her, all of whom took their caps off and started to pray to whatever god they worshipped for a safe journey for their fallen brother.

As Dr. Steinway once again conveyed his apologies to the grieving family and friends, he turned to go back to the lounge and grab a shower. He hated delivering bad news. He had been in surgery for the last five hours trying to save Officer Bartowski. Losing any patient was stressful, much less someone who made a living protecting others. And for Officer Bartowski to lose his life this way hurt him like nothing ever did in his entire career.

Steinway was already thinking about the bottle of Jack Daniels he'd be emptying down his throat later tonight when he was broken out of his thoughts by the O.R. Door swinging open madly again. It was Mark Shepherd, who bore a wide-eyed look of astonishment.

\~*~/

Sarah had been at Mr. Krantz's office for the last few hours. They had been signing papers to have the real estate agent that he had recommended make an offer on the unit across from Ellie, that wonderful woman she had met earlier in the day.

Her and Sebastian and she came back to their hotel room with some food. She had her hair in a messy pony tail and was lounging on the couch while Sebastian ate his In-N-Out burger and munched on some animal-shaped fries. Sarah knew she couldn't keep him on a diet like that for the rest of his life; a long and trying road to healthier eating for Sebastian lay ahead. But given what Sebastian had been through already, she thought she would cut him a little slack for now.

Sarah went through a mental checklist of what was next. Once the owners of the apartment accepted the offer, Sebastian and she could move in right away since the owners had already vacated the apartment. They had it on the market to rent, but she decided that she just wanted to buy it outright, and the offer she made them was more than fair. Next, they would have to find a school for Sebastian. Although she needed to find a school to help Sebastian deal with talking again, she didn't want to send him to a special needs school. The poor child had been through enough already without ending up with a stigma like that on him. She thought about making that appointment with Ellie, who volunteered her services. Maybe she might have a few recommendations for specialists that Sebastian could see, and Sarah certainly could use a friend.

She thumbed Ellie's card again with her cell and home numbers on it. She remembered Ellie was having a party tonight but decided to try her home number first. As she dialed, the TV broke in with a special news bulletin that interrupted Sebastian's programming.

_An off duty officer has been shot and stabbed during an attempted robbery of the Easy Serve liquor store. The name and status of the off duty officer is being withheld at this time until next of kin can be notified. Again, an off duty officer has been gunned down and stabbed. We will bring you updates as this breaking story unfolds. We now return you to your local programming._

Sarah felt for the fallen officer. She hated to see anyone go down like that but especially someone in law enforcement. Her thought was broken out of her reverie as the voicemail picked up.

_Hi, you have reached the voicemail for Ellie Bartowski and (a male voice cut in) Devon Woodcomb. (in unison) We can't take your call right now, but please leave us a message and we will get back to you shortly. BEEP._

"Hi, Ellie. This is Sarah Walker. We met earlier today, and I was hoping that I could possibly set up an appointment for you to examine my brother. You gave me your card and I just figured I would try you tonight. But I'll also call the hospital in the morning. By the way, I made an offer on that unit. Thank you for your kindness, and I hope that we can be neighbors soon."

With that, she hung up and smiled. She felt like she had made a possible friend today and wanted to see that through. The only friend she had really had was Carina, and she was always globetrotting around the world somewhere. Feeling unusually chatty, she decided to give her a call and check up on her.

She got up and walked to the balcony, shutting the door so Sebastian couldn't hear her. She still hadn't told him about her CIA past yet, and this wasn't the way she wanted to tell him. That said, she also knew Mr. Krantz was waiting on his explanation as well.

_One mission at a time,_ she thought to herself as her call connected.

"Hey Jen, I…"

"Hey Carina, sorry to call you out of the blue. I just wanted to see how everything was going."

Carina didn't want her to know she had been crying so she held her emotions in check as best she could. She didn't want her friend's impression of her…that she was a stone cold DEA agent…to become history.

"It's going, Jenny. How did things work out with you and your family?"

Sarah immediately knew something was off with her friend, but she also knew that she was trying to hide it. She knew Carina hated to talk about the personal stuff, aside from drinking and mind blowing sex. Sarah chose to let it slide.

"Well, I'm not in the Agency anymore, although they have the right to call me back for a mission if needed. I…umm…barely made it back. Well, that is….."

She was trying to find the right words to tell her when she was cut off by Carina. "Jen, I have to go. Something just happened, and I need to act on it now."

Sarah was even more confused, and hearing _Dr. Steinway, you're needed in O.R. 3, stat_..._Dr. Steinway, you're needed in O.R. 3, stat_ in the background made things even worse

"Oh, OK. I'll talk to you sometime soon."

Sarah hit 'end' on her mobile phone and replayed the conversation in her mind. Why was Carina in a hospital? And why would she just hang up like that? Maybe she was just getting ready for a mission or she was on her way back from one. Sarah shrugged, figuring she would find out eventually. She went back inside to have dinner with Sebastian and start shopping for some furniture and security hardware for their new house.

\~*~/

_**August 20, 2011 (Seven days after the incident)**_

Sarah sat in the courtyard typing her lesson plans while she watched the movers move the furniture Sebastian and she had bought for their new place. The movers were taking Sebastian's bed into his room while the security company hooked up the panic system for his room. She would have to go up soon to supervise her furniture going in and the testing of the panic system.

Just as she was closing her laptop, she heard a muffled voice behind her. She reached for the gun in the small of her back but dropped her hand when she noticed it was Ellie and a taller man. Ellie's fiancé Devon, no doubt, judging by the way he was supporting her. It was then that she noticed just how frail and damaged Ellie looked. Gone was the vibrant young woman she had met just a few short days before.

She got off the side of the fountain and made her way towards the lumbering couple. Trying not to startle them she slowly walked up to them and spoke softly. "Uhhhh, hi Ellie. I'm not sure if you remember me but…"

Ellie glanced at Sarah for just a moment and her eyes started to tear up. Her body began to shake uncontrollably. Devon tightened his grip on his fiancé. "I'm sorry, Miss…."

"Walker. Sarah Walker. You must be Devon."

"Yes, I am. I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but if you could just excuse us for just a minute…"

"Oh, of course."

Sarah moved out of the way as he placed Ellie's arm over his shoulder and slid his free arm around her waist to support her as they made it the last few feet to their apartment. Just as he was reaching in his pocket for his keys, the shoulder bag he had on his left shoulder started to slip and he lost his grip on Ellie. With lightning quickness, Sarah was at her side holding her up while Devon got the keys from his pocket.

"Thank you so much. Would you mind too terribly if you helped me get her inside and settled?"

"Of course. That's no problem," Sarah replied pleasantly, although she was very worried for the woman she hoped was her first new friend in a decade.

They got Ellie to the couch, and Devon brought her a glass of water and two Xanax. Ellie took them and lay down on the couch. Devon covered her with a blanket, kissing her forehead as he did so. "I'll be right back, babe."

He then looked at Sarah and nodded towards the door. They stepped out of the apartment and Devon pulled the door halfway closed so he could keep an eye on his love.

While he rubbed his neck, Sarah took a good look at him. He looked just as wiped out as Ellie. "Thanks for helping me with Ellie," he said with considerable fatigue in his voice. "We've had a rough week. I am sorry, by the way. Welcome to the neighborhood."

Even in his stressed-out state, Devon managed a smile that would make most women swoon. Sarah had to give him credit for holding it together, given how Ellie was.

"Ellie told me about meeting you the other night. But unfortunately, that was the same night her brother almost died."

"Oh my God. He almost died?" Sarah could feel her stomach drop, as if something was being ripped out of her. She called upon all her strength to stand firm.

"I'm not sure if she told you, but her younger brother, Chuck, is a police officer. He was on his way here for the party and stopped at a liquor store..."

But as he was about to finish, her hand flew to her mouth. She remembered the news report. "That off duty officer was her brother?"

Sarah's mind went back to the last few news reports on the fallen officer. They haven't given an update in the last day or so; no doubt the media found a better story to follow. They mentioned a name but they never showed a picture. The name didn't register with her until just now.

"Yes," Devon replied sullenly. "This is the first time that we have left the hospital since it happened."

"Is he awake? Is he alright?" She realized how desperate she sounded asking for the information, especially about someone she supposedly hadn't met yet, but there was just something in her heart telling her to ask.

"No, he hasn't woken up yet. He was gravely injured, and it took a long time to complete the necessary repairs for him to heal. He is going to have a long road to recovery, and he is currently in a medically induced coma to help him heal but if anyone can do it, Chuck can. The next few days are critical. If an infection or sepsis sets in, he'll be in real danger, since his immune system has already taken too large of a hit. Anyone staying in the room with him has to wear a sterilized suit."

A quiet voice came from Ellie's apartment. "Devon?"

"Be right there, El. Look, Sarah, it was very nice meeting you and hopefully we will be able to get better acquainted once this crisis is over. Thanks for your concern and help, and we will see you again soon."

Sarah just nodded as he went back into the apartment. She could hear him telling Ellie to go take a shower, and that he would make some dinner. He insisted they get some rest before returning to the hospital. Sarah slowly sat back down on the fountain's edge. Her mind was racing. How could she feel so strongly towards a man that she had not met except to have him hand her a speeding ticket? She had never felt this way before, and now as she recalled the pictures from around Ellie's house, she was positive he was the young man she had met so many years before. Had she already lost her chance to get to know him again? She knew one thing was certain: if she was given the chance to meet him again, she wasn't going to let it slip away.

Sebastian appeared in her peripheral vision. She wiped a tear away before he could see it and she asked him what he needed. He signed that the workers needed her to test out the system that was being installed. She signed _thank you_ and had him lead the way back upstairs. However, the fallen man named Chuck still dominated her thoughts as they made their way into their new home.

\~*~/

_**August 25, 2002 Intensive Care Ward – Good Samaritan Hospital **_

Chuck's eyelids fluttered open for a second, adjusting to the light in the room. Even though his eyes were dry he could feel a tear slide down his left cheek. He could feel the first twinges of pain as he took stock in where he was. Panic was settling in as the blurriness in his eyes slowly faded away and he could feel the IVs in his arm twitching as he slowly flexed his fingers. It was then that he heard a newspaper scrunched up coming from the chair in the corner of the room. He blinked his eyes in rapid succession to make sure he could see the person who was now standing up and making their way over to him.

An old weathered voice cut through the air like a hot knife through butter and Chuck instantly knew who it was.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, son."

Chuck could feel the warm strong calloused fingers of the man who had become like a second father to him. No, scratch that. A real father to him and even Ellie.

"Sa….u…" It hurt too much to speak and he started to cough, feeling the rusty acidic taste of blood from his dried up throat.

Saul grabbed the water pitcher next to the bed and poured some into a glass. He tore the wrapping off of a bendable straw and stuck it in the water. "Open up, son. Your throat is still swollen irritated from the intubation tube they had down in your gullet. Here, take slow sips of this water and I will be right back, OK? I just need to let the nurses know that you're awake."

Between the blood being taken out of his arms every few minutes, and the MRI scans of his brain, Chuck didn't know what to make of anything. He was still trying to get acclimated to being awake again.

He was about to freak out, when a sudden a gruff voice came booming into the room. "Alright, that is enough. The boy has just woken up. Take your time and read your tests for a bit. Let him rest. He isn't going anywhere."

The doctors and nurses just stopped and looked at the older gentleman in the corner of the room; they thought he was kidding. That is, until a snarl came across his face and he started shooing them out of the room. "Come on now, git! Come back in a few hours." With that Saul shut the door to the room.

He then walked over to Chuck and sat down. He took the glass Chuck had emptied over the last hour and refilled it for him. "Alright, son. I have been watching you since you woke up. There is something in there aching to get out, and I aim to hear it now."

"Chuck could tell immediately from his stare there was no choice. He took a deep breath and tried to school his features until Saul reached over and took his hand in his.

"It's OK, son. Just let it out," Saul whispered.

At that instant it was as if instantly, the weight of the world broke all at once. His face became red. The tears started to well up and cascade down his cheeks like a fresh spring rain. He looked up into the old weathered eyes that had seen one too many storms, and he knew that whatever he told Saul would stay between them.

Chuck took a last look towards the door and Saul seemed to be in tune with his thoughts. "Don't worry, Chuck. Barring another visit from the powers that be, no one else will bother us. Your sister and Devon are with Martha getting some rest back at their apartment. Your friends Bryce and Morgan left shortly after you woke up, and I told everyone else to get some rest and to give us some time to catch up."

"She didn't want me with her." Chuck's shoulders began to shudder uncontrollably as he began his story.

"Who didn't want you with her? Start from the beginning."

Chuck told him what he remembered. How he was shot and stabbed in the liquor store. He remembered being wheeled into the hospital on the gurney and he remembered telling Kayla that he was on his way to her. "Then there wasn't a bright light per se, but Kayla…she was sitting on a chair in front of me. I could move for some reason. I walked over to her and hugged her. Or I tried to."

Chuck took a breath and blew his nose into a tissue. Saul handed him the box and motioned for him to continue. Chuck ran his hand…the one not smarting from having a dozen needles in it only an hour ago…through his hair and wiped away some tears.

"She pushed me away. She told me it wasn't my time." He became worked up again. "I…I begged Kayla to let me stay with her. I told her that she was all I had and would ever want. But she told me no. That she wasn't my destiny. She said I still had a purpose on this Earth and that I needed to come back. Saul, she told me that she would always love me, but that there was someone else for me."

Chuck raised his hand in surrender and had difficulty continuing. "Saul, what kind of crap is that? I don't understand. All I wanted to do was be with her. She just needed to let me, but she kept pushing me away. Why, why didn't she want me?"

Chuck broke down again into fits of sobs. Saul came and sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on Chuck's shoulder.

"Listen, my boy. If she said it wasn't your time, then that means you still have much to do." Saul's face hardened. "But don't you think for one second that she didn't love you as much as you loved her. Now I'm not sure I believe in the afterlife, but I have to consider that if she came to you, then it was a message."

Saul pointed at him with all the determination he could muster. "And a message you should heed, Chuck. All of us will be here to help you. Now if you'll recall, you made me a promise back when I sold you that bike, and you have yet to fulfill the second part of that promise. You have survived this ordeal. You've been given a second chance. Now you need to start new again with your life. Find love and see where that journey takes you."

A huge smile erupted on his face as he winked at Chuck. "'Cause I can't wait to have some surrogate grandchildren to spoil."

Chuck smiled for the first time since he had awakened. Leave it to Saul to make him think of children.

"Now your road to recovery begins tomorrow physically, but your mental road to recovery has just started. So let's keep up this positive attitude, shall we?"

_Knock, Knock._


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: wow this is the first chapter posted in under two months from the last. I must thank the tireless efforts of my twoo betas Bdaddydl and PJ Murphy. You guys rock. That said chapter 13 is done but please do not expect it soon. It is currently clocking in at 33 pages and over 17,000 words and will take a while to beta. Then i must thank all of you. Not only for your support of this story, but in your support of me. This story is as mucha passon of love as it is to help me get past things of the past. The next few chapters are about the beginning of a romance, the trials and tribulations of what one goes thru when they have a whole in their heart that needs mending and of the one person who will sick by them no matter what. This story is both fact and fiction so iknow you would probbaly prefer a quick romance but it took me 6 years to get my act together and for Chuck its taking him 2 so i am going as fast as i can i promise. The road will still be bumpy but i promise the ending will be what you want. Again thank you for your support and please continue to review not only this fic but all others, it is the only real way we know that you like our stories. Finally a big thank you to my wife and daughter who again helped me make it thru another year and helped make this one the easiest yet.

* * *

Chapter 12: Rest, Recovery and a glimpse of things to come

The door to Chuck's room opened and a long shadow began to fill the doorway as the light from the hallway shielded the two men inside the room from seeing who it was. When the door shut, the shadow disappeared and revealed the diminutive figure of Commander Beckman.

"Officer Bartowski, how are you feeling?"

"Ma'am, I think I can be back on the streets in a week or so."

"Absolutely not!" Beckman couldn't believe Chuck expected to return to the streets that quickly. Didn't he realize how close to death he was? He WAS dead, and it was a damn miracle that he was talking to her now.

"But ma'am, am I being fired? I used justifiable force. I am sure IAD will clear me." Chuck began to get worked up until he felt a calming hand over his. He glanced over to see Saul trying to settle him down.

"You are not being fired, and IAD has already concluded their investigation. You have already been cleared. Every interview they conducted says you did exactly what you should have done. However due to your injuries, you can no longer work on the streets. On top of that, ever since I have spoken to your sister, I have done some digging into your background."

"My sister? What does Ellie have to do with this?"

"She enlightened me regarding your academic records. When you filled out the paperwork for the department, did you let the officer handling your recruitment know that you only needed two classes…two tests, really…to graduate from Stanford University with a dual degree?"

"No, ma'am. The paper asked if I graduated and I did not so that's how I answered. Besides, the department does not give higher promotions for people with degrees like the military does."

"That may be true. However when you have a certain type of skill set like you do, you maybe asked to serve in other capacities."

"Ma'am, have I not performed my duty well?"

"Aside from your proclivity for taking more chances than necessary, yes you have."

Saul could see that Chuck was getting angry as he tried to sit up and his face grimaced in pain. "Chuck, why don't you hear the commander out before you jump to conclusions?"

"Mr. Bartowski that would be a wise decision. You seem under the assumption that I am here to fire you for doing your job. That is far from the case. That said, I am also not here to pat you on the back and say 'good job'. My job is to make sure that I get the most out of my officers, and quite frankly we have not gotten everything that you have to offer."

She smoothed her hair back to make sure it was still in a tight bun, as Bartowski had a habit of making it come out as her anger raised.

"I am making you an offer. A offer that has a few non-negotiable inclusions. One, as soon as you are medically cleared by the doctors, you must go back to Stanford and take those two tests. Pending your successful completion of those tests, you will then be promoted to the rank of Lieutenant."

Chuck was about to interject when she raised her hand to stop him. "Chuck, with your knowledge of computers, I want to start a new cyber division. We will be in the forefront in this field. I've had this idea for a while. I've had the funding to implement it but not the person to run it. You will be that person.

"There will be times where you will do field work, but they will be few and far between. This is the computer age, Mr. Bartowski, and I intend to become the next Chief of Police. And you are going to help me make that happen."

Chuck sat there for a moment running the stubble that had been steadily growing on his face for the last few days since the incident happened. "What if I decline?"

"Then Mr. Bartowski we will have to find you a nice quiet desk position in the records department."

The anger disappeared in an instant. "Then I accept."

"Good. But I repeat this is conditional. You must take the tests as soon as you are released from the hospital and take them right away. Also you cannot tell anyone about this, not even your sister, until I make it official. Present company excluded. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

With that the diminutive commander turned on her heel, nodded towards Saul, and left as quickly as she came.

Saul let out a low whistle. "You deal with her on a daily basis?"

Chuck winced for a moment and hit the button in his hand to increase the morphine drip. After a few moments of groaning his eyes started to feel heavy. Saul looked at the young man lying in front of him and the anguish on his face was evident. He thought they had worked through his visions of Kayla rejecting him, but maybe there was more. Perhaps he would get the truth if he asked Chuck in the state he was in now.

"Son, I know you are half out of it, but I can tell there is something still weighing heavily on your mind. What is it?"

While his eyes shut, Chuck pursed his lips and responded groggily. "I took my first life that night. At the moment it happened, I was running on adrenaline. But now I…I think about it…I took someone's life. I know I'm pretty cavalier regarding my own life, but I took two people's lives. Their mothers lost their children…who knows if they had kids and they just lost their father? Is that why Kayla rejected me? Because I'm a monster?"

A lone tear rolled down his face. Saul bristled at what Chuck said. He didn't expect his idea to work that well.

"No, Charles. That's not why she sent you back. When you're more awake, remind me to tell you about Vietnam."

Saul patted him on the shoulder. "Now get some rest, son. Everyone will still be here when you wake up, as will I."

Chuck tried to fight off sleep but the medication in his system was just too much.

\~*~/

The next few days flew by between visitors from the police department, friends, and family. Ellie had come by later that night and used her doctor's privilege to see Chuck during non-visitor hours. She explained the extent of his injuries and what the latest tests had shown. The doctors were worried about infections and his other kidney not being able to hold up to the stress of being the only one. Bryce and Morgan had been permanent fixtures at the hospital, flirting with the nurses, as Jill made it her mission in life to take care of Chuck.

It was nice she had come by to see him, but she never actually left. He was trying to be polite since she had been sneaking him food from In-N-Out and Jack in the Box. But he didn't want to use her. He didn't have any feelings for her, and his sister kept giving him the Florence Nightingale speech. Saul and Martha had stayed for a few days, but they both had doctor appointments and other commitments back in Utah, so they had to leave. But not without checking in on both Chuck and Ellie one more time and making both promise to stay in touch and let them know how the recovery was going. Saul had taken Ellie aside and promised her that if Chuck got out of hand then he would come right back and set him straight. Ellie cried into his shoulder one last time and said goodbye.

\~*~/

The mood of the patient had grown worse after Saul's departure. He had become more sullen, although he had been spending an inordinate amount of time going through his old class books Saul had brought him from his apartment.

Chuck was staring out the window, contemplating his life and the choices that he had made and will make, and thinking of the one star that burned out well before her time, when he was broken out of his concentration by his sister.

"Hello? Earth to Chuck?"

"Huh…what? I am sorry Ellie, I was just thinking."

"About Kayla?"

Chuck bowed his head and gave a slight nod. There was no reason to let her know about the other things weighing on his mind.

"Chuck, I loved Kayla. You know I did. But right now I need you to focus on you for a while. You are still in danger of kidney failure, septic shock, and infection. You are going to be on several different meds for the next few weeks."

"I know all of this, Ellie. So why can't I think about her?"

"Dammit Chuck! The doctors said that you can go home tomorrow. But you have to remain in isolation for at least a week before you can go out into the world."

"Isolation, huh. Maybe that means I won't have Jill hanging all over me. So what does isolation entail? I mean, I've had visitors here."

"Isolation is just that. I will have a medical bed brought to Devon's and my apartment and…"

"Whoah, your apartment? Last I checked I live on my own now."

"Chuck, the only reason they are releasing you is because I am a doctor and they know I will make sure that you follow instructions. That is, unless you want to stay here."

Again bowing in defeat, he shook his head no.

"Look on the bright side, you can study and play as many video games as you want."

"Great. When can I start physical therapy so I can go back to work?"

"Chuck, I'm not going to lie; it's going to be a good long while."

"What do you mean a good long while?"

"Don't you understand? Your body just went through an extremely horrific experience. It's a miracle you're still alive. Your one remaining kidney is still struggling to work properly. You just got rid of your catheter and your colostomy bag. The incisions are still tender and the stitches are nowhere near ready to come out. If you even turn the wrong way or get mad or just sit up too fast, they will tear. Chuck, do you understand that?"

"OK, OK sis," Chuck replied in defeat. "I get it. I will follow whatever it is you need me to do. If I can't be John Travolta in _Pulp Fiction_, _The Boy in the Plastic Bubble_ will have to do."

She leaned over and ruffled his growing hair. "That's my baby brother. Now lean up as much as you can and give me a hug."

Chuck gave a weak smile as he did what Ellie asked. The two embraced. "We will get through this together, Chuck. We are Bartowskis and we always rise to the occasion. Besides, there will be no plastic bubble. We don't do that anymore. Now you have ionizers stationed all around you."

"One thing, El. No parties."

"Of course, little brother." Little did he know she already had one planned for the Saturday after his return.

\~*~/

_**August 27, 2003 - Echo Park**_

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Go away, Morgan!" an angry Ellie yelled from the kitchen.

"Aww come on, El. He's my hetro musical life mate. You know that."

The door yanked open and Morgan stared into the sweaty bare chest of Captain Awesome himself, Devon, in all his post-workout glory.

"Dude, look. I know you guys want to see Chuck. But I already had to place nails into the Morgan Door. If you and Bryce don't stay away like Ellie asked, she is literally going to call the cops on you guys for stalking."

"Come on, Awesome. She wouldn't, would she?"

"All I can tell you is that Chuck is healing slowly. He is still at risk. But if things keep going as smoothly as they have these last few days then we should be a go for Saturday."

"Really? Does Chuck know?"

"Shhh!" Devon hissed. No and let's keep It that way. So can we please get a few days of peace without you or Bryce banging on the door?"

"I will speak with him, OK?"

Devon clapped him on the back and shut the door behind him.

Ellie came up behind him. "Thanks, sweetie. I needed that. I just can't deal with the Three Musketeers anymore. At least Jill volunteered to sit watch outside the apartment for the next few days so I can go back to work and not worry about the moron twins trying to spring Chuck and cause him to relapse." Ellie took a long exhale. "I need to run to the store to get a few more supplies for Chuck's bandages."

"Sure, babe. When you get back I will go for my run. Love you."

"Love you, Dev," Ellie replied as she kissed him goodbye and then shut the door. She started to make her way through the courtyard, digging around in her purse for her keys, when she heard her name being called from behind her.

"Hey Ellie."

Ellie turned around and saw Sarah and Sebastian coming up behind her. "Oh, Sarah. What a nice surprise. I am so sorry about the last time we ran into each other."

"Don't be. Devon explained to me what was going on. How is your brother? He is OK, isn't he?"

Ellie studied the face of the young woman in front of her. First she stared at the pictures of her brother on the wall and traced his face with her finger like she knew him, and now she is showing way too much concern for someone she has never met? _Something is going on_, Ellie thought

"Umm Ellie, are you OK?"

Ellie stared briefly before realizing she hadn't answered Sarah's question. "Oh yes, sorry. I was lost in thought. He is doing better. He is actually sequestered in the house. It's actually a lot harder than I thought, between his constant moving around in his room trying to regain mobility, even though he thinks I don't know, and his friends trying to break in and contaminate the place isn't helping either. I'm starting to think I should have left him at the hospital. But so far there is no sign of infection and his kidney seems to be holding its own."

"Sorry, his kidney?" Sarah asked with a shocked expression on her face.

Sebastian looked between the two and just watched.

"Well you know that he lost one kidney, and his remaining kidney is overcompensating. And wearing itself out in the process. If we don't get it regulated and quickly he could lose it also."

Sarah's hand came up to her mouth and Ellie could swear that she saw the beginnings of tears in Sarah's eyes. Ellie took a gamble and asked a Sarah the one question that had been in the back of her mind ever since she saw her tracing the outline of her brother's face on the photo on her wall.

"Sarah, do you know my brother?"

Sarah gasped slightly at the question and even Sebastian noticed her response and looked up towards his big sister.

Not quite sure how to respond Sarah just lowered her head. "I think so," she replied in an almost whispered voice.

Ellie's hand went to her hip and she wasn't quite sure how to take that answer. "You think so?"

Sarah went over and sat at the fountain. Ellie and Sebastian joined her. "It was roughly eight years ago. We were on the last family vacation that I was a part of. Do you remember it, Sebastian?"

Sebastian shook his head no.

"Our parents had brought us down this way to the beach. I broke off from the family for a bit to explore the area. I wound up on this pier and at an arcade. I walked up to my favorite video game, Afterburner, but it was in use. I kind of interrupted the young man's game. Not on purpose, mind you. I guess I just distracted him too much. After he was killed in the game, he stood up and looked down at me. Much to my surprise he was much taller than me. And as you can see not many men are."

Ellie giggled for a moment. "You've seen my husband, so I'm well aware of how that goes. Between him and Chuck, I feel like a dwarf in there sometimes."

Sarah laughed at that. It was a laugh she hadn't felt in so long, and she smiled at how good it felt. She pushed a stray strand of hair back behind her ear and then continued.

"I never got the young man's name, but there was a depth to his brown eyes that I have never forgotten. A kindness and old fashioned romanticism that is a rare find in this world. The only thing I knew about him were his initials form the video game: CIB. Well, that and he had a little bearded friend who was in trouble and they left in quite a hurry."

Ellie started laughing. "Oh, my God. Talk about fate. I am pretty certain you did meet my brother and his friend, Morgan. This is so perfect!" she squealed.

"Why?"

"My brother had been down for a while. I don't know for certain, but if he remembers you, I am sure seeing you will put him in a much better place than he has been. Things have not been good for a long time, and I just want to see him happy."

"I can sympathize. I mean, all of us are broken to some degree. It's been…difficult…for me as well of late. I've had my share of problems. I think time is all it will take, but I do know the small amount of time I spent with Chuck left a lasting impression on me. I am looking forward to the time we meet again and reconnect."

"Well, I will make sure that you get your chance. This Saturday night I'm going to have a Labor day/Welcome Home bash for Chuck. I would love if you could attend and I will make sure that you get that reintroduction to my brother. Oh, and please call my service and ask for Dr. Bartowski so we can set up that appointment for me to look at your brother." She then handed her card to Sebastian, ruffled his hair, and left the courtyard.

Sebastian handed his sister the business card Ellie gave him. Sarah took a long look at the name, the same name as the officer who made her blood boil not long ago for giving her a speeding ticket. She pressed the edge of the card up against her lips and smiled. He did save those people, so perhaps she shouldn't hold that speeding ticket against him. Besides, she would finally get to meet the man with those deep, chocolate eyes she remembered from all those years ago.

For the first time in a long time, she was looking forward to her Saturday night.

\~*~/

_**August 30, 2003 – Echo Park**_

Today was the day he was finally free. Ellie was letting him go out for the day with Bryce. It would be the first time she allowed him out of the house since he had gotten home. His sutures were still tender and sore, but they had started to heal nicely. As long as he didn't overdue it or make any sharp movements, they wouldn't tear. He wasn't sure what Bryce had planned for the day, but he just couldn't wait to get out of the house.

He stood up from the bed and got slightly dizzy from the lack of muscle and endurance that he had prior to the incident. The 'incident', he had so aptly called it in his mind. The same incident that had been haunting his dreams these last few weeks. Every night he woke up with the same searing pain in his shoulder and stomach as he could feel the bullet and the knife tear through him. The searing heat at first, then the numbness that set in his shoulder and the searing pain that came from the knife wound. He instinctively would cradle his side trying to keep his stomach together, and then he would wake up from the pain.

It was just after 3 PM. Cane in hand, he gingerly walked out of his bedroom and hobbled towards the kitchen area where Devon was making a protein shake.

"Hey Awesome." Chuck's voice was quite strained. He glanced out the window as nonchalantly as he could. "No sign of Jill, is there?"

"No, you're good. Man, she has it bad for you. If you weren't already a cop, I would tell you to watch out."

"Yeah, I know," Chuck replied with a gentle laugh, which was all he could manage. "So, any idea what Bryce is doing with me today?"

"Sorry bro, not a clue. But here; have some of this protein shake. It will help you heal faster plus it'll get your wang working again."

Chuck couldn't tell what made him retch more: the stench from the shake or Devon worrying about his libido. "No thanks, Awesome. I think I'll stick to the cans of Ensure I got from the hospital. There wouldn't happen to be a party happening that I am not supposed to know about? Because Ellie promised that there would be no parties."

Awesome almost choked on his gulp of the shake but answered while wiping his chin. "No, not that I am aware of. Why?"

Even though he noticed Devon's little slip, Chuck let it slide. "Ellie has been wound so tight about my endurance and immune system that I wasn't allowed to have visitors, and now I'm practically being thrown out of the house?"

"Chuck, it's not like that. She knows you hate being cooped up and this is her way of loosening the reins a bit. She is your big sister, and I know that I don't have to remind you of this, but she practically raised you. And after everything that has happened to you before and now with you being wounded, she has been in Mom mode for a while. Just go easy on her."

There was a knock at the door that broke the tension. Chuck opened the door to find Bryce on the phone with somebody. He motioned with his hand, directing Chuck to slowly make his way to the car and then made the universal sign for a woman talking way too much in his ear.

"_Now listen, Bryce. You take care of my little brother today and try to have him back by 7:30 PM. The party actually starts at 7:00 PM, but I want him here a little late so he can't run and hide."_

"_Will do, anything else?"_

"_Yes there is one thing. There will be a blonde there tonight you have never met. Please do not hit on her. She is my new neighbor and I really want her to meet Chuck. Something about her that makes me think they would be good together. So promise me, Bryce."_

"_OK, I will not hit on the hot blonde. Sheesh."_

"_Bryce I mean it. No hitting on the blonde. I will find you one from the hospital that you have not already ruined. Is that a deal?"_

"_Yeah, I guess."_

"_Thank you, Bryce."_

"_You're welcome. Now I have to go; Chuck is on his way to my car."_

Bryce lightly jogged over to the outside of the courtyard to his car as Chuck was just getting there.

A little winded, Chuck leaned on the top of the car and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Bryce, please tell me wherever we are going is air conditioned."

"Absolutely, man. Now let's go or we'll be late."

As they drove to wherever it was they were headed, a question popped up in Chuck's mind. "Not that it's any of my business, but who were you talking to on the phone when you came to get me? It wasn't another one night stand that you blew off the next morning, was it?"

Bryce placed his hand over his heart in mock hurt. "Oh, it was Jill. She just wanted me to remind you she would be by tonight to check up on you and to take it easy on you so you're not too worn out. Are you sure there is nothing going on between you two? Because she really has it bad for you."

Chuck slapped his face with his palm and ran his hand down his face as hard as he could. "Bryce, I swear to God, I don't know where she's getting this. I mean, Ellie had her watching me like a hawk the last few days when she went back to work. To make sure you guys didn't get in. The woman IMed me, like, every thirty seconds. Asking if I was OK or if I needed anything. Sometimes it was just random about the music I had playing in my room. It was scary. I honestly might have to file a restraining order."

"Chuck, she's just infatuated. Both Morgan and I have told her on repeated occasions that you aren't ready to date yet. She will eventually get the hint. Anyway, we're here."

Bryce pointed out the passenger-side window and Chuck turned his head to see the .

Chuck turned his head and looked out at the Egyptian Movie Theatre. It was a huge 16-screen multiplex on Hollywood and Highland. "So Bryce, what are we seeing today?" he asked.

"_The Medallion_, of course."

"Ahh the latest installment from Jackie Chan. I can't wait." The two friends made their way through the cars towards the massive theater complex and towards their day of enjoyment.

\~*~/

_**1 hour 45 minutes later…**_

"Chuck, man. I don't know about you but does it seem like Jackie is getting old?"

"I don't know if he's getting old. It sure feels like he's taking every script that comes down the pipe to him. He thinks everything he does will turn into the next _Legend of Drunken Master_ or _Rush Hour_ or _Shanghai Noon_. This made _The Tuxedo_ look entertaining. There honestly wasn't much he could do with that script. And Claire Forlani as an Interpol agent? Please. She hasn't had a good movie since _Mallrats_."

"You're right; the best reason about going to see that film was the trailers. The _Kill Bill_ trailer looked great, and that film with the wrestler and that Stifler guy from the _American Pie_ movies looked like it could be interesting."

"Yeah, but come on. Nothing beats _Lord of the Rings_ and _Matrix Revolutions_. So, where to next?"

"How about a little pool and food and then we'll head back? I don't want to tire you out too much on your first adventure out of Ellie's incarceration."

"Sounds like a plan," Chuck replied with a smile.

\~*~/

_**August 30, 2003, 6:45 PM – Echo Park**_

Ellie ran around the apartment making last minute touch-ups on the food tables and making sure that all of the alcohol was on ice and that Morgan was ready with his DJing equipment when she ran into Devon.

"Whoah, slow down babe."

"I can't slow down. This has to be right. Chuck needs to enjoy himself and everything needs to be right for when he meets her."

"Look, I love you and I love Chuck, but I promised him that you wouldn't try and set him up with anyone tonight. He just needs to relax and not have any pressure."

"Devon, this isn't like my normal attempts, I promise. This is someone from Chuck's past. He met her briefly, but apparently he made such an impression on her that she has never forgotten him."

"Who is this, Ellie? I hope it's not Jill, because Chuck might go postal if it is."

"No, it's not Jill," Ellie whispered in case she was around at the moment. "It's Sarah, our new neighbor."

"How is that possible?"

"I don't have time to explain it right now Devon but trust me; it is very romantic. She could be just the thing to get Chuck back on his feet from Kayla. Not that I would ever try to replace her, but it's time to help him stop grieving."

Ellie looked at Devon for a moment and then smiled, licking her lips and wrapping her arms around Devon's neck. That aftershave he wore was her favorite. "You know, if you help me make this happen, I will perform that little number you liked so much from our camping trip last year."

Devon's eyes grew wide and was about to speak when Ellie pressed her lips on his and started a slow, sensuous kiss that ended with her sucking on his lower lip, tickling it with the tip of her tongue. She finally pulled away. "So are you going to help me or not?"

After standing there for a few moments with a dazed look on his face, Devon finally snapped out of it. "I still don't know about this, El, but I will back you because I love you so much. But before you play matchmaker, how about we keep an eye on them first. Let them find each other. Perhaps Sarah will do all of the work for you. If not, then we can intervene in a way that Chuck doesn't get mad at us for it."

"Thank you." Ellie craned her neck up and kissed Devon once again passionately on his lips while Devon slid his arms around her waist. She broke the kiss a few moments later lightly panting and patted Devon on the chest. "Make sure that Morgan is ready to play that new OutKast song right at 7:30. And please, for the love of God, tell him to pay attention to the time and not the all of the women walking by. I swear, he is almost as bad as Bryce."

"Will do, babe," Devon replied as he walked away, swatting her butt as he made his way across the fountain and adjusting his pants as he went.

\~*~/

_**August 30, 2003, 6:55 PM – Outside Chalkies Billiards**_

"Bryce, how can you feel good about cheating a cripple?"

"First of all, I didn't cheat. It's not my fault you prematurely hit the ball while I was chalking my stick and you walked into it."

Chuck glanced furtively at his friend across the roof, opened the door to Bryce's car, and slid in. He started rubbing his legs and his back.

"Are you OK, man?" Bryce asked as he turned the car on and started to back out of the space.

"Yeah I'm just tired; it's been a while since I have exerted myself like this. By the way how many numbers did you get tonight?"

"Only five but the night is young, after all." _Maybe a certain blonde will give me her number later_, Bryce thought without shame.

"Not for me it isn't. I'm beat."

They drove in silence with just the music from the car radio for about two miles before Bryce broke the ice again with No Doubt playing in the background.

"Bryce…"

"Chuck…" They both spoke at the same time. Chuck gestured for Bryce to continue.

"Chuck, we have never really talked about your job before."

Chuck pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Please don't tell me Ellie asked you to talk to me."

"No, this is all me. Look, ever since Kayla died you have been reckless. Now don't get me wrong; I have loved the adventurous Chuck. The skydiving, the river rafting with Devon, those were great. But ever since you became a cop, you've gotten even more reckless. Some of the things I've seen or heard you do on the beat? It scares the hell out of me, man."

"It's my job. I'm good at it, and it helps me to think that I am making a difference."

"I know. Trust me; I've heard the speech." Bryce mimicked air quotes. "The 'if I can save one child from a gang or make a difference in one person's life, then it's all worth it' speech. I get that, I really do. But dude you're not getting younger and look at you, you almost died do you really think that Kayla would want you to do this? Would you even be a cop if she was still alive?"

"Probably not."

"No, there is no 'probably not'. You wouldn't be and you know it. It wasn't even on your radar."

The venom in Bryce's voice did not go unnoticed by Chuck. "Oh, forgive me for not acting like the nerdy little loser you once knew…" Chuck began acidly.

Bryce slammed his hand on the dashboard. "Goddamnit Chuck, we care about you! Now how about showing everyone who loves you some respect and care for yourself the way we all do before it's too late? We could never handle losing you!"

Chuck turned his head to look at his friend pensively. "What?"

"Look, ever since you became a cop and started acting like Dirty Harry, you've kind of left both Morgan and I out in the wind. No more movies, no more game nights, the only time we see you is when we're whitewater rafting or something else. I've had to use Morgan as my wingman. Let me tell you, he cockblocks me so bad that it's not even worth going out on the town anymore. I need my Chuck back."

"Uh, Bryce?"

"Yeah?"

Chuck pointed out the car window. "I thought you said there was no party."

Bryce looked ahead and saw the deluge of people outside the complex coming and going as "Hey Ya" blared out of Morgan's massive speakers.

"Sorry, man. This is what Ellie asked me to keep quiet. I'm guessing that's why she didn't ask Morgan to come with us because she knew he would spill under your interrogation."

He pulled into the parking spot and they both got out of the car. Bryce watched his friend wince and ran over to the other side of the car to support him. "Look, I know you have this Superman complex, but we all know you're injured. So please use the cane and I will find a nice chair for you to sit in so you can greet everyone and relax, OK?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Chuck conceded as he unsnapped the binding on the cane and it unfolded itself out. He started to hobble towards the courtyard before turning back to Bryce. "Bryce, I am really sorry about how distant I have been. I'll work on it. I promise."

They made it about 20 feet before people started coming up to him and saying hi.

\~*~/

After the first half-hour and Ellie's impromptu speech to everyone, Chuck began to relax a bit in his chair and put a warm smile on his face. To the casual observer he looked like he was enjoying himself, but to the trained eye they saw the pain that was still embedded deep in his soul.

There were tons of police officers there as well as friends of Ellie's from the hospital, each coming up and saying how happy they were that Chuck was recovering nicely. Chuck could feel the hairs on his neck stand up and he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching him intently.

He scanned the crowd and noticed a striking pair of blue eyes staring at him from across the courtyard but he couldn't see the rest of her face. After speaking to another guest Chuck glanced back to where he saw the eyes but they were gone. Maybe he was just imagining it, but he couldn't shake the feeling he was again being watched. After greeting a few more guests, Chuck again caught sight of those same azure eyes, and they were trained on his face. They were mesmerizing and for some reason he couldn't stop looking at them. He was tired and sore, but he started to get up out of the chair to see who those beautiful eyes belonged to. That, however, was the exact moment when Jill came over and sat on his lap. After trying to get her off and failing, he again looked in the direction the eyes were, but they were gone.

While Officer Baker came over to talk to him with Jill still sitting on his lap, he looked around and noticed Bryce talking to a blonde. He could not get a clear look at her face as she kept trying to look around him, but he did notice that the eyes he had been searching for belonged to her. She looked vaguely familiar, but again he was pulled back into the conversation between Jill and Jon, when she said they were working on becoming a couple.

A few moments had gone by after Jon had left and Jill had sauntered off. Chuck scanned the crowd for the mysterious blonde when he noticed the lights from the apartment above flickering on and off rapidly, as if something was wrong. Instincts kicking in, Chuck jumped from his chair and pushed himself up the steps.

\~*~/

Across the courtyard, Sarah Walker spotted her new friend's brother making his way through the sea of people in the courtyard. He looked pale and a bit weak, but that was to be expected. Given he had been shot and stabbed at the same time recently, he actually looked pretty healthy. Observing like a good spy always did when they had a target in their sights, she made a decision.

_I think I'll see him in a few minutes. _

A few minutes turned into more. But every chance she got, she would steal a glance at Chuck and a few times she could swear he actually caught her staring at him, which brought a small tinge of pink to her cheeks. While making small talk with the other guests at the party, Sarah kept an eye on him. She noticed immediately when a mousy brunette walked up to him. The huge glasses, the stringy dirty brown hair, and the fact she was hanging all over him. _That little tramp_. She even sat down on his lap for a moment. She could tell that Chuck was uncomfortable with the woman, but being his kind self he was trying to be polite about it. She made her way over a little closer to them so she could read their lips and see what was really going on. On the way over she decided to put her hair down instead of having it up and exposing her neck. She wanted Chuck to see her softer side when they finally met again. At first it was hard to make out what they were saying with the thumping beats of the music playing, but then the song changed to a slower more intimate song and Sarah was able to concentrate on what they were saying.

"_Hey Chuck, I just thought I'd come over and say hi and see how you're feeling."_

"_By sitting on my lap, Jill?"_

"_Well I…we've missed you and no offense, but since you're sitting your lap is a great place to sit and to give you a hug."_

"_Uhh excuse me, Chuck. I don't mean to interrupt," a man spoke up after clearing his throat after seeing Jill jump out of Chuck's lap._

"_Oh hey. Hi Jon, no problem at all. Trust me, I appreciate you stopping by and saying hi."_

"_Look Chuck, I know that we ended our partnership on a slightly bad note, but you're a good cop and if you ever need anything, just ask I will have your back." Baker moved in to shake Chuck's hand and Chuck took his as well._

"_Thanks, man. I truly appreciate it. Hopefully this will be the last time something like this happens." They both shared a laugh as Jill stood off to the side and waited to return to her conversation with Chuck._

_Jon started to turn away when he made one last comment to Chuck. "By the way, you guys make a great couple."_

_Chuck groaned. "Oh we aren't a couple," he quickly replied. "We're just old friends from college."_

_Jill interrupted them and put her arms around Chuck's neck. "We aren't a couple yet, but we are working on it, aren't we sweetie?" She turned Chuck's head the side and kissed him on the mouth._

"_Right," Jon answered with considerable discomfort. "Well Chuck, I will see you. I'm going to mingle with the single ladies."_

"_Jill, we aren't."_

Sarah was broken out of her spell when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around with her hand at the small of her back instinctively going for the gun she usually carried, but it was upstairs in the safe by her bed. Instead she put the sweetest smile that she could as she turned and saw a guy who had an unbelievably cheesy grin on his face.

"Hi there. Yeah I know, I'm a 10 and you're obviously a 9, so what do you say we go find an empty bedroom and make us an 11?"

Sarah took her eyes off of Chuck and looked at the pretty boy. Hair perfect, teeth perfect. If she was ever going to date someone like this, she would have to fight him to use the mirror in the morning. "That's the best line you could come up with? I hope you got a lot of money if you want to date someone."

_That should take care of that_, she thought. Sarah turned back to the guy who continued to consume her thoughts. The brunette named Jill was trying to monopolize his attention, but he seemed to be having nothing of it.

Bryce slid in front of her and obstructed her view of Chuck. "Listen, I know that was a lame line but honestly there is so much more to me than that. Why don't we go somewhere private to find out what?"

Sarah stood on her toes and glanced over Bryce's shoulder at Chuck, who was brushing off the advances of Jill while talking to the last few people who were coming up and saying hi. For the most part everyone was now just drinking and enjoying the party, giving Chuck his space to breathe and relax. Even his sister, who had been keeping a watchful eye on him from the corner with her fiancé, hadn't bothered him tonight.

_There it is again, he caught me staring. I am a trained spy, and yet I can't seem to be able to hide my actions from my intended target. Am I just that easy or is he just that good?_

Bryce glanced back over his shoulder and saw what she was looking at and tried to turn the attention back on himself.

"Yeah that's my boy, Chuck. Jill keeps telling him she's available but he wants nothing of it. He wants nothing from anybody." Sarah looked over with interest for the first time. "Yeah it's just a front; he just doesn't seem to be interested in anything but the job. Really, he's a great guy, but honestly I'm even better. My name is Bryce, by the way."

"Mmm-hmm, so you keep telling me," Sarah tiredly replied while biting her lip while looking once again at Chuck.

All of a sudden, the lights started flickering nonstop coming from her apartment. Sarah, whose gaze was on Chuck, saw his eyes widen and instinctively jump out of his seat, hop the railing and sprint two steps at a time to the second floor landing.

Sarah tried to make her way towards the stairs but Bryce blocked her.

"And your name is?"

Sarah tried to move around him but Bryce just took a step back as she took a step forward. Sarah had seen his type before and decided to play the part to get what she needed.

"I didn't give it, but it's Sarah. Now I really need to go."

"Wait, wait Sarah. You're new to the area and I'd be glad to show you around, so how about a date this Saturday night?"

After noticing she hadn't replied, Bryce decided to be even bolder. "Now you know I won't take no for an answer," he said with the most suave smile he had in his arsenal.

Sarah looked up towards her apartment again and saw the lights going on and off. "Fine, fine, pick me up at 8," she said in exasperation. "No wait, I can't this Saturday. Make it the following one I will put it on my calendar. But I really must go."

With that, Sarah slid around Bryce and made her way up the stairs, which permitted Bryce to stare at her rear end as she bounded the steps two at a time. Bryce then snapped his fingers and slapped his hands together in victory. She would be his in two weeks and he'd make sure that he got in there well before Chuck ever had a chance. He then caught sight of Ellie and the scowl on her face. As she made her way towards him he darted off in the other direction to give her some time to cool down.

Sarah rounded the corner and stopped at her front door. The lights were now still, as was the rest of the house. She pulled a knife out of her boot and palmed it with the blade facing her arm. She slowly and silently crept into the apartment. She checked out the living room and the kitchen first. She then checked the bathroom and then her bedroom just to make sure she didn't miss anybody. She checked the windows as well to make sure no one came in. Letting the knife slide down to just the tip in her hands she raised it to strike as soon as she opened the door. She placed her palm on the door and slowly opened it. The night light in the hall was the only illumination, and it slowly began to invade Sebastian's room as she opened the door further.

Once the door was partially open she saw a pair of black Converse shoes and a pair of jeans lying on the floor. She stared in shock at what she saw but quickly slid the knife back down to her palm.

Chuck was lying there on the floor, leaning against her brother's bookcase and slowly rubbing her brother's back. He turned his head and looked up at her.

"Shhh, he had a nightmare," he whispered. "I can stay with him. Better not to interrupt things; it could set him off again."

He motioned with his head to have her shut the door again, which Sarah did. On the other side of the door, she slid down to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest. A lone tear managed to escape her eye and make its way down her cheek to rest softly on her lips. As she went to wipe it off she couldn't help but keep her thoughts on Chuck taking his time and energy to help her little brother. Someone he never even met or knew before that moment. She felt the saltiness of the tear on her lips and a slow smile formed across her face. If she wasn't sure before this was the same man she saw in the arcade all those years ago, she was now.

She would find a way for Chuck and her to get to know one another better. A lot better…and soon.

End chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Wow it has been a long time since I have published a chapter. For that I must apologize. This chapter was originally close to18,000 words long. However, a special thanks to my three friends and beta's who convinced me this would be a better way to go. Guys, your judgment is always best. That said between my family and myself being sick and the 4th quarter for the end of the year being as busy as it was for me even at the corporate level, plus writers block now I apologize. I need to thank all of you who are still waiting and reading this story and I want to let you know now that the next two chapters are done and in my beta's hands. So as soon as they are done they will be out. I need to thank Michael66 for his invaluable support and idea's and PJ and Bdaddydl. Without you guys I'd be lost. Also to my wife and daughter your love and support is all I need.  
_

_Chapter 13 - The "Getting to Know You" Phase _

_**August 31, 2003 - 5:30 AM - Sarah and Sebastian's Apartment**_

Sarah woke up with a painful crick in her neck. As she tried to gently massage the knot away, she thought back to how just before she settled in for the night outside her brother's room in case he had another episode, she had heard a light rapping on her door. She went and looked and wasn't surprised to see Ellie Bartowski standing outside the door. She asked if her brother was still there. She had seen him jump from his chair and race up the stairs to her apartment with her close behind. Sarah gave her an accounting of what she knew and promised to keep an eye on her brother for her. Although the look she got in return was definitely not the kind she was referring to, she couldn't help but smile when reflecting on the thought.

Sarah quietly slid off of the floor, careful not to bump Sebastian's door and wake its two occupants. She padded her way to the bathroom, turned on the lights, and looked into the mirror. The shock on her face was evident. Sure, she had spent the night leaning against her brother's doorframe, and sure she had shed more than a few tears at the generosity of a stranger and how he selflessly helped a strange young boy while he was recuperating. But the Medusa-like stringy hair and the raccoon look around her eyes thanks to her mascara had to go before anyone saw her.

She turned the water on and let it build up a tremendous amount of steam until it was nice and hot. She wiped the fog off the mirror and took the Aveeno nighttime skin cleanser wipes. She furiously wiped away the smeared makeup that had caked on her face. She then stepped into the shower and once again felt the power of the heated water soothe and take away her most recent frustrations. She ran her hands through her hair and worked the vanilla shampoo into a frothy lather, letting the water pelt the back of her neck as she began to rinse her hair out. She squeezed her hair from top to bottom to get the water out and make sure it was shampoo free. She then grabbed a bottle of body wash and began to clean up her body. Lastly she took her shave gel and began to shave her long, lean legs.

A few moments later, feeling much more refreshed, she stepped out of the shower and again wiped the water covered mirror down to see her face. Gone were the caked on make-up and displaced hair. A young vibrant woman was now looking back at her in the mirror. After spending a few moments finding a nice top and a pair of khaki shorts, she then took out her moisturizer and began to massage the lotion into her legs and arms. She then made her way to the kitchen to start some coffee.

She glanced at the time and it was five after six in the morning. Normally at this time she would be kicking the crap out of "Frank," her kickboxing dummy, and trying to get her morning routine together before the spring semester started. She was on the payroll at USC, and while she would be filling in for any professors in Law who need a day off or got sick, she also had to prepare for her brand new course being added to the curriculum. But being the top former agent she was, she did everything through practice and repetition.

Her thoughts drifted back to the young man she had met years ago. She tried to pull those events together and compile them with the new ones that occurred over the past ten hours. The only conclusion she could reach is even though she wasn't sure what love was, there was no doubt she could easily fall for the guy sleeping on her brother's floor. She added two scoops of Segafredo to the coffeemaker and filled the carafe with water.

It was then another thought ran through her head that made her take pause. Could Chuck ever fall in love with a trained assassin? Chuck had killed people himself, albeit in self-defense, but she couldn't shake the fact he might not be able to accept her former life. He was in the relative same profession: saving the innocent and protecting the masses. But that was really her trying to stretch reality to make her feel better. She was certain Chuck never killed in cold blood nor took someone to bed to exploit them as an asset. She worried he may not be ready for a person like that.

And she needed to pay more attention to what she was doing as she spilled water all over the place. _Shit_.

She quickly filled the carafe and added the water to the coffeemaker before grabbing several paper towels to wipe up the mess she made. She threw the paper towels in the garbage and leaned back against the refrigerator as her mind again wandered to what a life with Chuck would be like. Unfortunately, her train of thought was broken when out of the corner of her eye she caught the form of a tall brunette carrying a pair of black and white Chuck Taylors and trying to sneak out the door without being noticed.

"Umm, would you like a cup of coffee before you slink out of the house and continue on your Walk of Shame?" she said with a raised eyebrow and a hint of whimsy in her voice.

Without flinching, Chuck stopped in his tracks and turned towards the kitchen. Had he not been a cop and a pretty decent poker player, he would not have been able to keep his features calm and collected as he turned his head and saw a vision in front of him. The sunlight streaming in through the back window was focusing itself on bathing the blonde beauty in front of him with a glow of an almost angelic light. The only thing more beautiful than the way the light shown across her blonde hair and tan skin were the bright blue eyes staring back at him. Despite his near-certainty she was a gift from Heaven, he had to shake that thought out of his head for now.

For her part Sarah noticed the slight tinge of red coloring his ears instead of his cheeks. He was trying very hard not to show his emotions. She wasn't sure why but it intrigued her all the more.

She again pointed to the cup of coffee. "Would you like a cup?"

"Uh, no. I'm sorry, I'm not aloud to have it yet. Have we met before?"

"It's possible. Did you go to Harvard?"

"No, Stanford. But I swear we've met before. Don't worry; it will come to me. I never forget a face, especially one that looks like it belongs on an angel."

It was Chuck's turn to notice the blush that had crept up her neck as he wondered where that smooth line had actually come from.

"Look, I really have to go. I'm Chuck, by the way, and I'm staying with my sister Ellie downstairs, so if you need anything else just let me know."

Sarah noticed he intentionally hid his left side from her, but she originally passed it off as him stiff from the way he slept. But the way he kept hiding it nagged her.

"Is your side OK? Where you were injured, I mean?

"I'm OK," Chuck said far too quickly for his comfort. "But thank you for the concern. I really must go now."

"Well, it really was nice to meet you, Chuck. I'm Sarah, and hopefully the next time we meet it won't be so early in the morning after you have spent the night on my brother's floor." She took a nervous sip of her coffee. "Before you run off, can you tell me what you did to calm my brother down?"

Chuck was the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. "I…just came in and told him that it would be OK, and that I would stay the night with him, and I told him that if he ever wanted to talk I would be there for him."

Chuck was too wrapped up in his explanation to see Sarah was holding onto the counter for support and looking at the ground. "I told him about some of the things that keep me up at night and while I'm not sure if they are the same kind of things plaguing him, he seemed to trust me enough to fall asleep as long as I stayed there next to him"

Sarah looked up from the floor with a tear in her eye. "Thank you. If you're free for lunch I'd love to take you out as my way of thanks."

"No need for that. I'm just glad I was able to help. If you need anything, just stop by. Have a great morning. Oh and I told Sebastian he was welcome to come see me anytime and that we could hang out while I was still recovering."

Chuck let the door close behind him. As soon as the door shut he leaned back against the door and rubbed his face. He couldn't believe how attracted he was to a woman he just met. He started to feel guilty because he hadn't felt this strongly about someone since his fiancé. He then noticed something wet on his face and absentmindedly he wiped it off with the side of his shirt sleeve. He started towards the stairs.

\~*~/

Sarah put her mug in the sink when she felt a presence behind her. She whirled around and saw Sebastian grabbing at her hand and pulling her back towards his room in a hurry. She relented and walked back with him.

"Seb, relax. I know what happened and it's OK. Chuck is a nice…"

Her hand flew to her mouth as Sebastian pointed towards his bed and floor. There was a mix of dried and wet blood in the spot where Chuck spent the night.

"Oh God, he must have torn a stitch," Sarah whispered in a panic as she tore through the apartment to get to the front door. As she flung it open Sebastian followed quickly behind her and noticed the same thing she did: the bloody hand smear on the wall going down the steps. Sarah rounded the landing to race down the steps when she came across Chuck's body slumped against the hand rail near the bottom.

"Run across the courtyard and get Ellie right away!" she told Sebastian as she knelt by Chuck and tried to wake him up. She shook him a few times with no success. Out of desperation, she slapped him across the face.

That worked too well. "Ahh, Christ Ellie!" Chuck opened his eyes. "Umm, umm…Sarah, what happened?' Chuck said looking a little paler then he had a few moments before.

"Well, I'm glad it only took two 'umms' before you remembered my name. But in all seriousness, I think you passed out from tearing a few stitches open. I haven't taken a look yet, but the blood smear from the wall would support my hypothesis."

Chuck coughed for a moment before smiling. "Hypothesis, huh? Wow, really trying to up sell the ol' Harvard education, aren't you?"

Chuck's teasing was cut off when he started coughing again. He shut his eyes and began to slump.

"Hey! Chuck, stay awake! You need to stay conscious until Ellie arrives," Sarah said sternly, even though she couldn't camouflage her worry.

A tiny smile flitted across Chuck's face. He then whispered so softly, Sarah had to put her ear to his lips to hear it. "Don't worry. I never forgot the girl who made me crash before I beat my all-time record on _Afterburner_."

Sarah smiled and gazed into his eyes momentarily before Ellie's frantic yelling made her head snap in that direction. Ellie and Devon ran up to Chuck and knelt by his side. Sarah quickly got out of the way as the two doctors checked him over. Sebastian came back and took Sarah's hand and held on tightly as they watched Ellie and Devon work. Sarah's mind drifted back to the last thing Chuck had said. Did he really remember her or was that just his subconscious? Would he even remember he said it when he woke up?

She was again snapped out of her reverie as Sebastian tugged her along to Ellie's apartment as Ellie and Devon had already begun to carry Chuck inside and had started to take him to his bedroom. Sarah and Sebastian sat nervously on the couch. About a half hour later, Ellie and Devon came out of Chuck's room and shut the door. Sebastian looked up at them and showed them a piece of paper.

Devon smiled and ruffled his hair as Ellie wiped her brow. "Yes, Sebastian. He will be just fine. He had a minor infection, which was most of what came out of him. It weakened a couple of his stitches and caused them to break. A quick dose of penicillin and some new stitches and he will be good as new in a day or so."

Sarah let out the breath she didn't even realized she was holding. Ellie just looked at her and smiled. She then motioned for Sarah to follow her into the kitchen.

"So, you looked a little relieved there. Did you get a chance to spend any time with my brother last night?"

"No. I was about to but then the lights started flickering and he dashed upstairs. We had a few words this morning but nothing substantial."

"Did he remember you?"

Ellie smiled. Based on her body language, it was obvious she was able to read the former agent quite well.

"Ellie, are you sure you weren't an interrogator in a former life?"

Her smile widened. "Maybe, but you still didn't answer the question. Did he remember you?"

Sarah tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ears and smiled. "Honestly, I'm not sure. He mentioned never forgetting the girl who killed him in a game a few years ago, but back then I was a brunette, not the blonde I am now. It could have been his subconscious, but I doubt he will remember it when he wakes up."

"Sarah, if there is one thing about my brother I know for a fact is that he remembers you. He has an eidetic memory. And if he said it he will remember he did. Now come on we all need showers and your brother and I have a date in my office in a few hours."

Sarah smiled and walked into the other room with her.

_**September 2, 2003 - 11:00 AM - Sarah and Sebastian's Apartment**_

Sebastian paused his videogame and put his X-Box controller down when he heard a knock at the door. He went to the window and peeked outside. He saw the tall, brown-haired man named Chuck who stayed with him a few nights ago. His sister told him not to open the door for anybody, but since he knew it was Chuck, he thought it was OK to open the door for him.

"Hey. Sebastian, right?" Sebastian nodded. "Hasn't your sister told you not to open the door for strangers?"

Sebastian quickly nodded his head before looking at the ground.

Chuck knelt down in front of him, placed his hands on his shoulders, and looked him square in the eye. "Hey, it's OK. Don't beat yourself up about it. Even if you know me, you should always ask your sister's permission to open the door. But in my case, you don't have to worry because I also happen to be a police officer."

Chuck pulled out his wallet and flipped it open to show his badge. Sebastian reached for it and ran his finger over it.

Chuck ruffled his hair and smiled. "I promise it's real, but I'm glad you're being cautious. That's a good thing. I'll tell you what. If you ever think that someone is lying or trying to break in, you can always call me. You don't even have to explain what's happening. Just use the word 'pineapple' and I will come over as fast as I can, OK?"

Sebastian stared at Chuck and then ran to get a piece of paper. He scribbled something on it and turned it around to show to Chuck.

_I can't talk so I can't use the word. _

Chuck leaned back on his haunches for a moment and placed a hand under his chin. He then smiled and snapped his fingers. "Grab your phone and I will show you how you can call me."

Sebastian nodded and ran to get the phone. As soon as he came back, Chuck programmed his number in it and handed Sebastian a card with the number on it. Once it connected he punched in 1911.

"Did you hear those four tones?" Sebastian nodded. "If I hear those tones either come through the phone or on a voicemail, I will drop what I'm doing and rush right over. OK?"

Sebastian nodded wildly and smiled at Chuck. Chuck was glad he was able to communicate with the young man. Seeing him so frightened the other night shook him to his core, and he was grateful Sebastian was in a much better mood today.

Chuck looked around the apartment. "Sebastian, is your sister here? I wanted to thank her for her help the other day." Sebastian shook his head no. "Will she be back soon?"

Chuck noticed Sebastian relied on paper and pencil to communicate. He started to write on the paper again. _No, she is substituting for the morning at the college and then she had a meeting with your sister in the afternoon. _

Chuck scratched his head. He wasn't sure what to do, but looking into Sebastian's eyes he had an idea.

"Sebastian, has anyone ever taught you any sign language?" Again Sebastian shook his head no. "I'll tell you what we can do. If you don't think your sister will mind, we can go down to the beach for a while. It's right down the street, and I can teach you as much sign language as you can learn. That way you won't have to rely on paper and pen anymore. What do you think of that?"

Sebastian's eyes lit up and he nodded his head up and down vigorously. Chuck had to smile; Sebastian had the same positive energy his older sister seemed to radiate. He went to grab his keys off the table when Chuck stopped him.

"We need to leave your sister a note in case she gets back before we do. Just let her know that you went with Officer Bartowski to the beach and that we will be back in a few hours."

Sebastian scribbled down the note and left it on the kitchen table. However, as they left the apartment door, neither one saw the note blow off the table from the outside breeze and land underneath the refrigerator.

\~*~/

Sarah opened the door to the apartment while balancing two bags of groceries like a skilled juggler, dropping her keys on the floor of the apartment. She stopped when she realized it was eerily quiet. Normally she would have heard the sound of one of Sebastian's games or cartoons booming from the TV but it was off.

As she kicked the door closed with her heel and slid her sunglasses to the top of her head she surveyed the living room and kitchen. The apartment seemed empty. She strode over to the table and placed the bags on the counter.

"Sebastian! I'm home," she called out.

She was again met with silence. She walked over to the TV and felt the back of it. It was cool to the touch, as if it hadn't been used in hours.

"Sebastian!" she called out even louder this time. Hearing nothing once again, she sprinted to his room and opened the door. He was not there. She then checked her bedroom to see if he was hiding from her but to no avail. Now she was beginning to panic. She opened the apartment door and leaned over the railing to look out through the courtyard.

"Sebastian!"

Perhaps he was with Ellie. She had to postpone their appointment because the teacher she was subbing for never made it in. She hurried down the stairs, the hair in her pony tail beginning to slide out, as she frantically searched for her brother.

She knocked on Ellie's door but there was no answer. She ran back up to her apartment to check the answering machine and her mobile phone to see if she had any missed messages. The tears that had been forming in the corners of her eyes were now flowing freely at the thought of anything happening to her brother. She had failed her promise to her mother about protecting him. She put her head in her hands and went through every horrible scenario her mind conjured.

There was no forced entry so Sebastian would have had to open the door to let the person in. It was unlikely the police would be any help if Sebastian was only gone for a few hours. He didn't have any friends to hang out with, either.

_Where could he be?_

She headed for the door again to get in her car and drive through the area to see if he had wandered off. Suddenly, she heard a key slide into the key lock on the front door. She was out of her seat with her hand feeling the gun at the small of her back when she realized Sebastian was coming through the front door with Chuck behind him.

For his part, Chuck looked up from the floor and saw the paralyzing look of fear was etched all over Sarah's face. He handed the pizza boxes over to Sebastian and prepared for the onslaught coming his way.

"Sebastian, go to your room. I will deal with you later," Sarah ordered before turning her fury on Chuck. "Who do you think you are? How dare you take my brother from his home and not even have the decency to ask me if he could go with you! Do you know the kind of things that were going through my mind?"

Chuck tried to answer but every time she would raise a finger to his face as if warning him to shut up. Chuck thought she was cute when she was angry. _Wait, why am I thinking that?_ But he was tired from the beach and he felt like he had been walking in a sauna, so he wasn't in the best temperament when her tirade began in the first place.

"What, are you some pedophile who likes to prey on little boys?"

Chuck had kept quiet because Sarah's anger was understandable, but that accusation crossed the line. He was about to yell right back at her when they were interrupted by a noise behind them.

Sebastian grabbed the flower vase that was on the table and threw it to the floor, shattering it into pieces. Sebastian looked at his sister dead in the eye. He then brought his hands up in the air and started rattling off sign language at her. Sarah stood in stunned amazement that he even knew how to use sign language. She hadn't used it outside of her academy days and the occasional field operation.

Sarah knelt in front of him, not even paying attention to what he was signing; just amazed that he was speaking to her without writing it down on paper. She placed her hands on the side of his face and spoke slowly and clearly to him, the anger having abated.

"Sebastian, who taught you how to do that?"

Sebastian grabbed a pen and a piece of paper because he didn't yet know how to sign his answer.

_Why do you care? All you want to do is yell! _

He threw the pen on the table and stormed off to his room, slamming the door in the process. Sarah stood slowly and put her hand to her mouth. Chuck glanced in the kitchen and frowned when he didn't see the note Sebastian wrote on the table. He scanned the rest of the kitchen.

"Couldn't you have at least left a…" Sarah started as she walked into the kitchen, only to stop when she saw Sebastian's note in Chuck's hand.

"It was on the table. Maybe the wind blew it off of there when we opened the door. But I'm sorry I didn't talk to you in person regarding Sebastian, and I didn't have your mobile number. Even though he was in no harm, I should know better since I'm a police officer. For that I apologize."

He gestured at the pizza boxes. "The pizza is still warm. It's from what I and my buddy Morgan consider to be the best pizza joint around. The place is called Two Boots on West Sunset. But again I apologize."

Chuck turned to leave but stopped mid-turn and looked back at Sarah. "Listen, I taught Sebastian sign language. He is very smart and picks it up easily. I could probably have him talking in full sentences before I go back to work after my recovery is over. That is, if you would let me?"

Sarah pursed her ruby red lips and wiped her bangs out of her eyes and looked at Chuck wholeheartedly. "Thank you, for teaching him sign language. I'm sorry that I jumped down your throat without giving you the chance to explain yourself. I'm still new to this parenthood role and I make mistakes. Lots of them. But if you're up to it, do you think you could give me a few brush-up lessons as well? I'm a little rusty."

Chuck stared at her for a long hard moment. Why was it so hard for him to form a complete sentence in this woman's presence? For her part, Sarah sensed his discomfort and decided to make it a little easier on him. She sat up straight, pushed her chest out and smiled at him like she hadn't smiled in a long time. With a genuine Sarah Walker smile that she usually saved for someone special.

She could see Chuck's eyes light up for just a second, and for that split second she saw the sadness she had noticed in his eyes at the party disappear. But as fast as it left, it came right back. It was as if he was feeling guilty about something.

"It would be my honor, ma'am," Chuck replied with a bow…or at least as much of a bow as his stomach would permit him.

The uneasiness between them came back when they both failed to speak. Chuck pretended to scuff his shoe on the carpet swiping at imaginary dust bunnies and Sarah looked down at her cuticles. Then they both talked at once.

"Why don't you stay?" "Maybe I should go."

Both of them shared an uncomfortable laugh, and Chuck gestured with his hand for her to go ahead.

"Why don't you stay and eat this pizza with us?"

"I would be happy to. Why don't you get us some plates and I will go get Sebastian."

"Sounds good." Chuck headed to the bedroom "Oh, and Chuck?"

Chuck turned to look at her. "Thanks," she replied.

Chuck just nodded and made his way down the hallway.

Sarah mentally chided herself for looking at Chuck's rear end as he went down the hall, then chided herself for mentally chiding herself about it.

An hour and a half later, they had finished the pizza and Sebastian was off playing his Nintendo Game Boy while Chuck helped Sarah clean up the pizza boxes.

"Thank you for getting me a vegetarian with no olives. I could have just picked them off."

"You can thank Sebastian for that. He told me you didn't like them, so I ordered one just for you. It was really no trouble."

He noticed Sebastian's hand wave in the air when he mentioned that it was his information that led them to get the extra pizza before he headed back to his room.

Chuck slowly stood up to leave, grabbed his cane and started to make his way to the door. He turned to Sarah. "Sarah, you may want to talk to Ellie about parenting," he said quietly. "After our parents left when I was eight, she took the burden on herself to raise me. She worked two part-time jobs and raised me while she went to medical school.

"I think she did an OK job, but don't tell her I said that," he said with a wink.

"Thanks, Chuck, and for the record I think she did a great job as well. I will talk to her soon. So, do you have any more trips planned?"

"Well I guess it depends on if you were going to let me hang out with your brother some more or ban me for life."

"Well, would I be invited if I were to allow it?" Sarah replied a little flirtier than she planned.

Chuck ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. Sure, Sarah was a beautiful woman, and he was used to cop groupies and a few of Ellie's nurse friends throwing themselves at him. But she was different. First and foremost, she hadn't have actually thrown herself at him; she merely flirted a little. Secondly, they already had a history. A very brief one, but talking to her seemed so natural and comfortable, something he hadn't felt with anyone since Kayla. But then there was Sebastian. He was just beginning to earn his trust, and he didn't want him to think he was just using him to get to know his sister. Thirdly, he wasn't even remotely ready for a relationship, was he?

He tried to formulate a thoughtful answer but was not successful. "Sure, you can come with us. I would love it if you joined us, if nothing else to assuage your fears that I'm not going to steal your brother."

A light hue of rouge crept up his neck and was barely visible from his shirt collar, but Sarah noticed it nonetheless.

Chuck gathered himself before he continued. "Well, let me go break the news to Sebastian, and then we will come out and help you put the remaining pizza and dishes away."

"I will toss these in the trash and have the dishes done by the time you come back."

Chuck made his way to Sebastian's room and lightly rapped on the door. He turned the knob slowly and walked in to find Sebastian on the floor playing with his Star Wars Legos.

"Do you mind if I sit with you for a moment and play while we talk?" Chuck asked him.

Sebastian tried to sign 'sure' but he messed up the 'u'. Chuck took his finger in his hand and corrected the sign for 'u' and slowly sank to the ground, his glaze drifting over to the side of the bed where his blood lay just a few days earlier.

Chuck picked up a few of the pieces and tried to make a vehicle of some sort "So…I just spoke with your sister and she is OK with me continuing to teach you sign language." Before Chuck could finish, he noticed Sebastian's head fall. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Sebastian grabbed a piece of paper and started to write out his thought. Chuck knew he was getting better with the sign language but didn't feel totally comfortable with it yet.

_But she doesn't want us to hang out any more like we did today, right? _

Chuck scooted over to his young charge and lifted his head up. "You didn't let me finish. She has agreed to also let us hang out. Now she will be there sometimes and that's because I invited her. I don't want her to feel left out. But I also want you to understand, I'm your friend. Whatever we discuss stays between us, OK?"

Chuck waited for him to nod his head. "Now your sister and I may become friends or we may not, but I never want you to think I'm only hanging out with you to get in tight with your sister, OK? We will still do things together separate and sometimes she may join us. I want you to understand this. My friendship with your sister is separate from my friendship with you. We will always be buds, no matter what? So on the days she's with us, I will teach you for an hour before we leave to do whatever we have planned that day. It will be our time together before she joins us. Does that sound good to you?"

Sebastian nodded his head vigorously. "So where are we going tomorrow?" he signed.

Chuck smiled and ruffled his hair. "That's for me to know and for you and your sister to find out tomorrow. Just be ready for our lesson at 9 AM tomorrow. Understood?"

Sebastian stood up and saluted Chuck. He laughed and waved to him as he left Sebastian's room, shutting the door behind him. He made his way back out to the living room and found Sarah just finishing the dishes and tossing to the towel on the drying rack.

"So you conveniently took your time talking to him just to get out of doing the dishes?" Sarah asked with a smirk on her face.

Chuck ran his hand through his hair, smoothing out the curls for just a moment, and looked down at his feet. Sarah walked over to him and ducked her head down so he was looking right into her brilliant blue eyes. Her blonde hair was neatly tucked back behind her ears and a small smile slowly spread across her lips. She kept staring at him like this to force him to look up again.

"It took a few minutes longer than I expected. I was explaining my friendship with him was not so I could get close to you."

"Oh," Sarah said. Her smile faded and the twinkle in her eyes dimmed a bit.

"Look it's not that you're not beautiful, but I don't want to make anything complicated for either of you. I wouldn't dare interfere in your life or your relationship with your little brother. I would never do anything to endanger that.""

Sarah could see the emotional turmoil swirling behind his eyes. If the eyes were indeed the windows to the soul, Chuck was someone who was going through too much for any one person to handle. Given the bits and pieces she had picked up from his past…to say nothing about almost being shot to death recently…she knew he was trying his best to break away from everything that was holding him back. So she decided to give him a break.

She stuck her hand out. "Friends?"

Chuck nodded and took her hand. "Friends."

They shook hands, but both held on a lot longer than necessary. Chuck's thumb lightly rubbed circles over Sarah's wrist, and both of them felt an electricity go through them and straight into their souls.

Chuck hand began to shake, and he was the first to let go. "I should…I should go. But I will be here bright and early to start you on your first refresher lesson before Sebastian's lesson at 9 AM. Then we'll go out after we're done."

"Oh, and where exactly are we going?" Sarah asked with a bit of mischief.

Chuck grinned. "Listen, Miss Nosy. Like I told Sebastian, you'll just have to be surprised tomorrow."

"Sebastian hates surprises, just like me."

Chuck opened the door, but his grin didn't fade one iota. "Well, siblings can be like that. Not that I would know anything about it. 8 AM sharp. Be ready." Chuck left the apartment and shut the door behind him.

Sarah stood there for a moment absently caressing her right hand with her left directly on the spot where Chuck's thumb had been rubbing her moments before. The loss of the touch affected her deeply but she didn't know why or how. It had been so long since she had these kinds of feelings, and she wasn't quite sure how to handle them.

_If only Mom were here_, she thought.

She walked over to the couch and picked up the photo of her mom and stared at it silently. She completely lost track of time because it was 11 PM by the time she looked up again. She went to Sebastian's room to check on him, but he was sleeping peacefully. A smile radiated her entire being as she walked to her bedroom and got ready to go to sleep. She had a big day ahead of her tomorrow.

For the first time in a long, long time, she was excited about waking up.

\~*~/

Chuck shut the door to Ellie's apartment, oblivious to anything around him and completely unable to get rid of that silly grin on his face.

"Yo! Chuckster!"

He was wrong. Devon's bellowing from the couch did the trick nicely. He turned away from the Dodgers game. "Where have you been and what's with the silly grin on your face? I haven't seen you like this in…I don't even know how long!" Devon yelled from the couch the dodger's game blaring in the background.

Chuck made a zipper motion across his mouth to tell Awesome to be quiet, but it was too late.

Ellie came walking out of the kitchen, drying her hands off with a dish towel. "Hey, little brother. So what's this I hear about a grin that you're sporting?"

"Ugh," Chuck groaned and ran his fingers down his face. "There was no grin, El."

"The hell there wasn't!" Devon beamed with a grin of his own to make the Cheshire Cat look like a sourpuss by comparison. "Something was going down. Or was it some-_one_?"

Ellie threw the towel at Devon's head. "Devon, clean it up! That's my little brother!" Ellie scolded before turning her sights on her brother. "And you just where exactly have you been all day and evening, Chuck?" Or maybe the better question would be _whom_ exactly have you been with all day and evening, Chuck?"

"Ellie, come on! You can't seriously believe I was doing anything, can you? God, Devon is really starting to rub off on you."

Ellie brushed her hair back of her eyes and looked at her brother. "OK, Officer Bartowski. Let's look at the evidence, shall we?"

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Oh, goody. It's another episode of _CSI: Echo Park_."

Ellie ignored him and continued, ticking off her clues on her fingers. "First, you were gone all day and most of the evening. You missed dinner, and you're never late when I make pot roast. Second, you didn't call, which meant you were so engrossed in whatever it was you were doing, you didn't bother to call your worried sister, and I know you weren't playing videogames with Morgan. And finally, you still haven't denied you were with a woman. Now spill!"

Chuck slowly lowered himself onto the love seat while Devon was still stretched out on the couch. Chuck tried to glance at Ellie as best as she could, but she settled in next to Devon, and his workout shorts were showing too much lower brain for Chuck's comfort.

Chuck ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh. "Listen, I spent the day with Sebastian from upstairs. I stopped by to say thank you to them for helping me out, but only Sebastian was home so I spoke with him for a bit."

"Wait, he spoke to you?" Ellie interrupted.

"Well, no. Not in that way. He wrote on paper and I spoke. So since he was home by himself, I took him to the beach and began to teach him sign language."

"That's nice Chuck, but that doesn't explain where you have been since it got dark." Awesome interjected.

"We brought pizza back from Two Boots, and were walking into the house when his sister was sitting at the table and she got up yelling because she thought that Sebastian had vanished."

Ellie's eyes widened. "You didn't ask her if you could take him from their home Chuck? Come on, I thought you knew better than that! For God's sake, you're a police officer!"

"Calm down there, RoboCop. We left her a note, but apparently it blew off the table and slid under the refrigerator after we left. She was teaching a class so it wasn't like I could just call her and ask her. I didn't even have a cell number."

"I have it! You could have told me and I would have tried to call her!"

"OK, fine. I could have handled that better. I should have talked with her first. Anyway, after she calmed down and saw the note Sebastian left and found out that her little brother could now use sign language, she was happy. We ate the pizza and she gave me permission to take Sebastian out more and continue to teach him sign language. She'll even join us sometimes when she is not working."

Ellie couldn't contain the smile on her face but tried to keep her excitement to an absolute minimum to not scare Chuck. This was a big step for him, something she had been waiting for since Kayla died.

Chuck rose from the love seat. "OK, folks. I think I have given you enough of a show for one night. I'm going to retire for the night, study for those exams and get some sleep."

As he started to stroll down the hallway Ellie interrupted his escape with one last comment. "She's really beautiful, isn't she Chuck?"

Chuck stopped for the tiniest moment and then hobbled his way down the hall to his room. Once his door was shut he lay down on his bed and picked up his textbook. However, after a few minutes, he began to fall asleep. For the first time since 9/11, he didn't dream of crashing planes or burning buildings or those who didn't make it.

He dreamt of the golden haired beauty who lived just upstairs.

_**September 3, 2003 - 6:45 AM – Echo Park**_

Chuck had been up for about fifteen minutes, thanks to the alarm on his mobile phone and the noise Ellie and Devon were making as they prepared for their twelve-hour shifts at work. He did a small workout that Ellie strictly gave him…not too much, not too little…until he was healthy enough to go back to his own routine. He then took a quick shower, changed his bandages, and got dressed. He went to the Kien Giang Bakery and got an assortment of baked goods. He returned to the apartment complex and knocked on Sarah's door promptly at 8:00 AM.

The door opened and a breeze swept through the apartment. The sunlight bathed the beautiful vision in front of him, a sight so lovely not even Princess Leia in her gold bikini could top it. The rush of air made her golden curls lightly shy away from her face, her lightly tanned skin shone against the sunlight. She had a pale blue shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans, but to see the look on Chuck's face, you would have thought she was sporting the panoply of the Victoria's Secret Catalogue.

"Good Morning, Mr. Bartowski, I see you are prompt and full of surprises. And food. Please come in."

As Chuck made his way through the door Sarah gave him an appreciative stare as he walked by her towards the kitchen.

"I brought coffee and pastries from a bakery a few streets away. Is Sebastian up yet?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Cream?"

"Please. I bought a cup of decaf for myself. Ellie is finally allowing that. But that's fine. We can get started with your lesson and wake him in a half hour."

Sarah was about to sit down when she glanced inside the bag and inside was a chocolate croissant. Without even thinking she dove right into the bag and pulled out a pastry with chocolaty goodness and dove right in. Is he a mind reader? She thought as the pastry was devoured within seconds.

Sarah looked up with chocolate smeared all over her chin and stared as Chuck looked at her with a bemused expression. She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Oopsie," she said innocently, which made her sound even sexier to Chuck. She leaned into him closely. "Sorry, it's just that was the best croissant I have ever had," she whispered.

Chuck smiled and bunched his fingers together, tapping them in the middle of his stomach. Sarah tilted her head in confusion, eliciting a laugh from Chuck.

"Lesson number one: this means 'more'. So would you like some more?"

"Yes please!" Sarah squeaked like a teenage girl at an NSync concert. Chuck dug another chocolate croissant out of the bag and Sarah snatched it from his hands.

Over the next 45 minutes they practiced the easily remembered signs, from 'please' and 'thank you' to 'hello'. They even got into a few letters of the alphabet. Just like her brother, Sarah had an appetite for languages on par with her obsession for chocolate croissants. She was a quick study. By the time it was 8:50 AM, Sebastian had been out of his room, had a glazed donut and was in the shower.

Chuck cleaned up the trash while Sarah went to check her voicemail to make sure she hadn't been requested to go into work. By the time she came back out and had changed her clothes Chuck and Sebastian were well into their lesson for the day. Sarah sat on the couch and watched the two of them go back and forth. Chuck was a great teacher. He would give Sebastian plenty of time to remember a letter, but just before Sebastian would get frustrated and quit, Chuck would take him by the hand and show him the correct form and then have him repeat it to learn it. They ended their session at ten.

"Hey guys, why don't you relax and hang out? I'll be back in about 45 minutes, I have a few things to do then we will be on our way, as a matter of fact why don't you meet me in the parking lot and we can just leave?"

He headed for the door. "Chuck?" Sarah called out.

"Yes?"

"Could you please tell us where we're going so we can change into the appropriate attire?" Sarah said in her best southern teasing voice as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

"Nope, you both look perfect the way you are." He exited the apartment.

Sarah turned to Sebastian. "Do you know where we're going?" Sebastian jut signed 'no'.

\~*~/

Sarah and Sebastian walked down the stairs to the parking lot when they saw the door of a four-door Subaru Outback station wagon open up and Chuck stepped out donning sunglasses and attempting to look cool. Sarah bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing too hard at the sight of Chuck just acting so free-spirited. That was when she realized that his warm brown eyes were so inviting that she was in danger of getting lost in them for the second time in as many hours. She tried to distract herself by focusing the car that he was standing in front of. She needed to as she felt the heat creeping up her neck.

"So, is that the kind of car off-duty police officers are driving these days?"

Chuck took the glasses off, feeling a little foolish, and stared down at the concrete for just a moment. "Well, I was assuming my usual ride wouldn't be practical," he said as he pointed to his motorcycle parked a few feet away. This is Awesome's car."

Sarah scoffed at that. "I'm sorry, who is awesome?"

"No, this is Awesome's car."

"And again I ask, who is Awesome?"

"Huh? Oh, right. My sister's fiancé, Devon. We call him Captain Awesome."

"Devon? Oh, I've met him. He's a very nice person. Wait a minute, are you telling me a heart surgeon drives that?"

"Yeah. He likes to do a lot outdoor stuff and it transports everything well. He's sort of the practical one, at least when it comes to transportation. They went to work in my sister's Mustang, and obviously I have the Ducati over there. Obviously for today's purposes, it won't do us much good, and Ellie has banned me from its use until I heal or forever if she gets her way."

He noticed Sebastian running his finger over the side of his bike and smiled. "Sweet ride, huh Sebastian. Maybe another day. You ready to go, little man?"

Sebastian looked up and smiled. He ran over to Chuck and ruffled his hair. Sarah laughed at Sebastian messing up Chuck's hair; clearly Sebastian had taken a liking to Chuck already, something he hadn't done with anybody since she took custody of him. She moved closer to Chuck, an intense heat radiating inside of her she never felt from being so close to anyone else in her life.

"So Chuck, you still haven't told me where we are going this morning," Sarah intoned playfully as her eyes sparkled, looking into his. "And you still haven't told me why you call Devon Captain Awesome."

"Because just about everything he does is awesome. Rock climbing…jumping out of planes…flossing. Right, Chuck?"

All three of them turned as a perky brunette wearing stylish sunglasses ran over to Chuck and leaped into his arms, giving him an extremely tight bear hug. Sarah stood there for a moment and placed her hands on Sebastian's shoulders. She recognized the woman as the same woman who was draped indecently around Chuck the night of the party. She could feel the pain developing deep inside of her, and aside from this new pain she was feeling she noticed that even Sebastian reacted negatively towards seeing this woman.

"Hi Jill," Chuck said quietly.

End Chapter 13

A/N II: Just a quick note Segafredo is an Italian coffee that is high end and rated as one of the top 5 coffees in Europe. Guys again thank you for all your support, please review and let me know what you liked and didn't like or if you even remember this story at all. Please remember that this story is a work of real life and fiction, and it takes me longer to write this as I am remembering the real life parts I also have to deal with the emotions that come with them and sometimes it takes me awhile to come back to it.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Wow here we are again. First as always i will apologize for the ait. I hope the next chapter does not take as long. It is mostly done with a few tweaks. This chapter and the next two will be a turning point in the story in many ways. I need to thank everyone who has reviewed and pmed me regarding this story, it keeps me going and lets me know that at least somoene is stil reading. I know its slow going but it will be finished and as always i need to a few special people. Bdaddydl for putting up with me and giving me his insight and making this story what it is. For PJ Murphy for his great beta and for uplink2 who is always asking when this will be out and for just being a great friend who for some reason thinksim a better writer than him. Just know bud that i know the truth lol and Michael66 for his support and friendship as well. Lastly i need to thnak my wife and daughter for their love and support you guys mean the world to me. PLEASE SEE THE ADDITITONAL NOTE AT THE END!

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Chapter 14 The Awkward phase

Chuck shifted back and forth on his feet, trying to figure out how to proceed. He rubbed the back of his neck as he felt the tension in the muscles growing, from the dilemma in front of him growing.

"Uh Sarah, I'd like you to meet my FRIEND, Jill," he said meekly, apart from his overemphasis on the word 'friend'. "Jill, this is Sarah Walker and her younger brother, Sebastian. They just moved into the complex a few weeks ago."

"Ah, so has my Chucky has been giving you the grand tour?"

Jill's voice was like sandpaper to Sarah's ears. Her thoughts instantly focused in on Heather Chandler from high school and how she was looking at the brunette version of that stuck-up tramp. But at least Heather could say she was in high school; what was this woman's excuse?

"Ahem." Chuck cleared his throat. "Jill, first of all, I'm not YOUR Chucky, and second…was there something that I can help you with today?"

"Well, I was alone and bored and since I'm off of work and all, I was hoping I'd catch you at home and see if you'd like to catch a movie or just stay in and play video games with me."

Chuck turned towards Sarah and gazed into her eyes. As he watched the seemingly endless pools of Sapphire blue cloud over, he couldn't help but miss those bright shining celestial orbs that were there only mere seconds before. "To be honest Jill, I'm actually going out with Sarah and Sebastian for the day. Would you like to join us?"

Even though it was easy for a fresh recruit from the farm to see that Chuck was uncomfortable she gave him the Walker glare that her father was famous for.

Jill pondered his offer for a moment before reaching up near his ear on her tiptoes. "As fun as that sounds Chucky, you will get so lucky if you just ditch these two and stay here with me."

She then placed both of her hands seductively on both sides of his face turned him towards her and put her lips on his, giving him a slow sensuous kiss. She then withdrew at the sound of someone clearing their throat. A stunned Chuck was left wondering why Jill had all of a sudden became so aggressive. Sebastian had to slap Sarah's hand as her knuckles turned white grasping onto his shoulder. She looked down and eased her grip, not even realizing how tense she was at the exchange between the two.

"Chuck if you'd rather spend the day with Jen then by all means we can do this another time," Sarah said evenly. "But you might want to take it inside the PDA is not appropriate for some eyes." She glanced down towards Sebastian hoping the brunette had at least some concern for the innocence of youth.

She could feel the uneasiness and nausea in her stomach rising up through her esophagus even as she said the words. She had to fight with everything she had to keep from losing it in front of them. She took several slow controlled breaths, which seemed to do the trick.

"It's Jill," the brunette said with a sneer and a look at Sarah with a "stay-away-from-my-man" glare as she grabbed Chuck's hand. She couldn't have staked her claim more obviously if she had "Marked" her territory. "But that sounds like a good idea, Chuck. Let's take this inside."

Chuck yanked his hand away from her and glared angrily at her. "Jill, this is the last time I'm going to tell you this. We are NOT together, we never have been, and never will be. You are my friend and I'm happy to be that, but there will never be anything more between us. If you cannot accept that, well then I guess we don't have anything else to say to one another."

Chuck pulled his keys out of his pocket and walked to the driver's side door. Sebastian signed shotgun and jumped into the front seat, but Sarah stopped him and guided him towards the back seat, not wanting to get Chuck in trouble with the law. As she waited for Sebastian to put on his seatbelt, she watched the shock on Jill's face turn to red-hot anger, and she couldn't prevent a smile coming to her ruby red lips. And she didn't want to.

"Bye, Jen!" she said to give the knife one final twist as she slid into the front seat.

Through the rear-view mirror, Chuck could see Jill stomping back to her car. He made his way down the esplanade as they drove towards their destination. He wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Hey guys, I'm…I'm sorry," he muttered. Both Sarah and Sebastian looked at Chuck at the same time "I want to apologize for everything that went on back there. I know I don't have to, but I also want to apologize for Jill. She is not normally that aggressive. I have turned her down before, but she just can't seem to take the hint and she never gives up."

He gave both of them a quick glance and realized he would be better off just moving on. "But enough about that today is your day. Look out the window to your left and you will see our destination."

Sarah and Sebastian turned their heads and noticed that they were coming up on Dodger Stadium. Sarah looked back at Sebastian and reached into the back and grasped his hand when she saw how tense he was, even though he was trying to put on a brave face.

As Chuck pulled into the parking lot and paid for his parking pass, he felt the tension coming from the rest of the car. He looked to his right and saw Sarah consoling her brother. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he was hoping he hadn't done something wrong.

"Sebastian, are you OK?" Chuck asked while seeing the tears pooling in his young friend's eyes.

Sebastian's hands started flying, trying to sign the right answer. But he was going so fast that even Chuck could not understand him.

"Seb, Seb…it's OK, calm down. You're not disappointing anyone, I promise. But I need you to slow down. I can't understand what you're signing to me."

After another few moments Chuck had the basic idea of what was wrong. He thought he had a solution, but he needed to talk to Sarah for a moment by himself. He got out of the car and motioned for Sarah to join him outside.

"Sarah, look. I know you don't know me really well, but I swear I didn't know this was going to happen…I guess I should have talked to you about it first."

"Chuck, I…"

He put his hands up quickly. "Please, Sarah. I can fix this. I swear I have a little experience with this. Everything will be OK in a few minutes, just please give me this chance to fix things."

As Chuck walked towards Sebastian his fingertips brushed against Sarah's knuckles and yet again there was a huge surge of energy. The first time it had happened was when their hands touched in her apartment; Sarah thought it was a fluke that only she had felt. However, as Chuck walked over to the passenger side door, she saw him rubbing his fingers together and looking at his hand.

_So it is mutual,_ she thought to herself.

Sarah moved a safe distance back to give the two their privacy but still see their lips moving..

Chuck walked over to the passenger side door and opened it up. Sebastian's teary, red-eyed face turned towards him and Chuck slowly kneeled down, grasping the sides of the car and the door to help his descent. The change in the weather from the prior day's rainstorm wasn't helping his injury one bit.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" Sebastian was hesitant. "Whatever you say to me will stay between us, OK? I won't share it with your sister unless you ask me to. But if you could, I need you to keep taking deep breaths and sign slowly to me. It will make it easier for me to understand you, OK? Just take your time."

Sebastian nodded his head. _It's OK if you talk to Sara; she already knows. _

"Were you remembering your times of coming to the ball park with your dad? Was he a big baseball fan?"

_Yes. He always took me to games during the season. He was a Padres fan so we always went to their home games but when the Padres would play the Dodgers down here we would come down and stay and bring me with him as well. It was one of the only things that we ever did together just us. _

"Sebastian, I wish you would have told me this the other day, but that's OK. I don't want to reopen old wounds. If anything, you should embrace those memories and remember them every day. Use them to remember your father before the accident. Whenever you're down, just remember a time your dad took you here.

He looked up and rubbed his hands on his pants the grabbed Sebastian's hand and placed it on his chest. "Do you feel your heart? As long as it beets you won't forget them."

"You know, both my dad and my mom left me and my sister Ellie when we were very young. Well, I was young. And for a long time I thought it was my fault, that I did something to drive them away. Now I know that's not the same as your parents being taken away from you, but I can tell you when I was your age it hurt all the same. My sister taught me to latch onto the good times and to remember them when times were tough or I just missed them. It didn't always work, but there were times were it was all I needed to keep the nightmares away."

Chuck shifted on his feet and his eye sight caught Sarah watching him intently and noticed she was trying to see what he was saying. He shifted his feet a bit and got down lower so she couldn't see him anymore. Sarah tried to reposition herself without Chuck seeing her but was unable to. She backed off a bit and decided she trusted Chuck enough to grant them their privacy.

"There was something else that happened, and I haven't really talked to anyone about it and please don't share this with your sister, OK?" He waited for Sebastian to nod before continuing. "I dated this beautiful woman once. In fact, we were planning to get married. She… she died on 9/11. Like you, she was ripped away from me by someone who has no respect for human life. A part of me died that day. To be honest, most of me died that day, and I don't know if I will ever get it back. But I'm trying as best as I can to surround myself with good people. You are truly my first friend since her death. So for as much as I'm helping you, you are helping me just the same."

Sebastian nodded. He wiped his face off with his sleeve. "Now come on and let's have a great day with your sister, OK?"

Sarah watched as Chuck spoke gently to her brother and after a few moments she saw the little smile on his face and his tears completely gone as he got out of the car. She knew exactly what was bothering her brother but she didn't know how to help him deal with it. There were just too many things that were going to remind them of their family and today was just the beginning. She vowed to learn to be a better big sister and help Sebastian through this.

The trio began to walk towards the ballpark when Chuck led them past the main entrance and headed towards the rear of the stadium.

"Umm, Chuck? Where are we going? The entrance to the stadium was that way," Sarah inquired.

"Indeed it is, but where we are going is just around the corner over here."

Sarah was quiet for a moment but then she needed to say something to Chuck. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Chuck glanced at her in confusion. "Uh, sure. Hey Sebastian, can you run ahead? We are going to the Will Call window."

Sebastian nodded and started to make his way ahead. Chuck waited until he was a few feet away. "What's up Sarah?"

Sarah bit her lower lip and grabbed Chuck's arm to pull him closer to her. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for talking to Sebastian," she said gently into his ear, suddenly not wanting to let go of him. "I'm still not very good at this parenting thing, but I'm going to get there."

"I have no doubt you will, and if you need any help, I'm always a phone call away." Chuck had that same smile on his face. It wasn't an ear-to-ear grin, but it made Sarah's heart race. It was the sort of smile you saw from a person you wanted to be with. A smile you wanted to look at day after day.

They had stopped walking just a few feet behind Sebastian and Chuck realized where they were. "Hey, give me a second. I need to go over to the window. I'll be right back."

"OK," Sarah said as she tried to contain the blush threatening to creep up her neck. All of a sudden she felt a tug on her shirt. She turned and saw Sebastian. He started signing slowly to her.

"What? I don't like Chuck… Well of course I think he could be a friend but we technically just met…No, I don't have a crush on him. Listen; just keep your fingers shut, OK? IF and when that time comes, I will let you know, so shhh!"

Chuck walked up to them clasping his hands together with a huge grin on his face.

"What is so funny, Mr. Bartowski?" Sarah raised an eyebrow, pretending to be upset. "And when do we get to go inside?"

"Well…"

He was interrupted by a voice coming from behind them. "As I live and breathe! Officer Charles Bartowski!"

They all turned to see a stunning, sultry young woman walking up to them, her raven hair glistening in the sunlight and her tanned skin glowing like a native Californian.

She walked up to Chuck and smacked him in the ass. "So all this time I've been hoping you'd call me for a date, and the one time you finally do all you want is baseball tickets. Is there something wrong with me, Chuck, or have you just been holding out on me because I'm too hot for you?"

Chuck laughed. "No, not at all. Elena Quintanilla, please meet Ms. Sarah Walker and her brother, Sebastian."

Elena walked around them keeping one eye on them and one on Chuck. She had noticed the blonde beauty's reaction when she had smacked Chuck's ass and now she just wanted to mess with her a bit.

Sarah looked from the woman in front of her draped all over Chuck to Chuck himself, whose face was getting redder by the moment. She stuck her hand out in front of her and smiled. "Sarah Walker, nice to meet you."

Elena slid her right arm through Chuck's and accepted the handshake. She did her best to hide the fact that the woman in front of her had a strong grip and she felt her fingers being squeezed rather tightly until the woman had let go.

While rubbing her hand she knelt down in front of Sebastian and spoke directly to him. "Well hello there. My name is Elena, nice to meet you." She signed the same words to Sebastian, who couldn't keep a smile to himself.

Sarah's eyebrow quirked and Elena looked up and winked at her while Chuck just bashfully shrugged his shoulders "Elena is the stadium's Language and Special Needs Coordinator."

Elena stood up straight and turned again towards Sarah. "Would it be OK if I took Sebastian for a while?" Sarah was a bit surprised; Elena went from flirty to friendly and professional in an instant. "I promise you can trust me. I'm going to teach him more sign language and I have a few other surprises for him."

Although her spy senses were going overboard, she had to concede that could just have been her reaction to the woman and Chuck. Seeing Chuck nod his head, Sarah reluctantly agreed and told Sebastian to go ahead and have a good time.

Elena slapped her hand on Chuck's chest. She let her fingers glide seductively down Chuck's chest, but he busied himself catching the two tickets she left behind. With a wink, she walked over and grasped Sebastian's hand in hers.

As she passed Sarah she leaned closer to her. "Make your move soon, sweetie," she warned with a whisper. "Otherwise, next time he'll take a lot more than my tickets and peanuts."

With that, Sebastian and she turned and headed towards an office part of the complex. Chuck looked down at the two tickets in his hand and began to slide them into his back pocket when he glanced at Sarah and noticed the peculiar look she had on her face.

So…" they both tried to speak at the same time. They smiled and Chuck gestured for her to go first. "Please, go right ahead," Sarah sharply replied. "I would love to hear about this."

"OK, but how about we make our way inside and grab a bite to eat?"

Chuck gestured towards the gates of the ballpark. Sarah turned and made her way to the ticket collector. Once inside they grabbed a cheeseburger with extra pickles and a Diet Coke for Sarah and a few Dodger Dogs with chili and cheese and a beer for Chuck. They sat at one of the tables overlooking the field and ate in relative silence for a few minutes.

Chuck took a long slow swig of his beer and gasped as the bottle left his parched lips. "Mmm, that's good."

Chuck placed the bottle down and looked into the brightest blue eyes he had ever seen. It dawned on him that he had been thinking that a lot since he had met the gorgeous blonde sitting in front of him. He placed both hands on the table and leaned back in his chair a bit and started again.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound like an alcoholic. It's just this is the first beer I've had since the incident, and since the hawk cleverly disguised as my sister isn't watching me today, I'm sneaking one in."

Chuck gave a slight chuckle but the look on his companion's face told him he had better start talking and fast. _Wow, she could make any hardened criminal spill their guts instantly with that glare,_ he thought. "Just 4 months out of the Academy, I was off-duty and coming off a run down by the beach. I came up to this BMW parked on the side of the street. Then I noticed this kid was trying to get into the car. As I ran past, he was sliding a bar into the window trying to jimmy the lock. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings so I doubled back and caught him by surprise. Once caught, he begged and pleaded with me to not take him to jail. Trying to scare the young kid, I asked him about his family and what would they think about him being a thief. He told me that he lived with his sister and that his home life was not the best. I have to admit I identified with what he was going through and decided to give him a second chance. After telling where his sister worked, I dragged him down to the stadium and brought him to her. When she found out what he did, I almost had to arrest her for beating him in front of me."

Sarah wiped her mouth with her napkin…not because of anything messy on her face but because sitting here listening to Chuck's story was making her mouth water. Every time something happened that would make her hate Chuck, the story turned around and made her want him even more. She had to keep herself from staring at his lips too long; otherwise she would get in trouble. She grabbed another bite of her burger and motioned for Chuck to go on.

"That's pretty much it. Now I check on her brother, Jose, every now and again to make sure that he stays on the straight and narrow, and she lightly flirts with me when she sees me. She knows my history and knows nothing will ever happen, but she likes to try."

Before asking the obvious question Sarah looked intently into Chuck's eyes and saw the honesty in them. She also noticed a glob of chili on the side of his mouth. She tried to get him to notice it by discreetly gesturing with her eyes. But when that didn't work, she rose from her seat, took her thumb, and wiped it off of his cheek. It was a brazen thing to do, but the look on his face was priceless. She figured now it was time to go in for the kill.

_Why he won't just ask me out?_ Sarah wondered to herself. _Maybe if I press the question, to which I already know the answer in the back of my mind, he might open up and ask me._

"So Chuck, what kind of history might that be?" Sarah asked with a bit of a coquettish lilt to her voice, making sure she gave him the full-on baby blues. "Are you a player, Chuck? Should I be worried what you might be teaching my little brother? I mean, first that brunette this morning, Jen, and now Elena. That's two in one day, Chuck."

Sarah sat there as she took a long draw from her drink, gently massaging the straw between her lips to the point where it could very well be interpreted certain ways. And given the priceless look on his face, she knew she was getting under his skin.

Chuck choking on his beer at that could also be a sign, too. "No, I'm not a player," Chuck rasped as he tried to regain his composure. "They're just friends, no benefits of any kind."

Chuck took a napkin to wipe his mouth and the tears that had rolled down his cheeks from coughing profusely a moment ago. It wasn't lost on Chuck that Sarah had again called Jill a name other than her own, but as he was trying to not lose his lunch he decided to let it go.

_God she is so beautiful_, he thought. _I should just ask her out, but I really should speak with her brother first before I try. _

"OK, so you're not a player. Then what history could you possibly have?"

Chuck was about to reply when he looked at the field and noticed that the game was about to start. He looked at his watch and realized that they had been talking for the better part of an hour. Batting practice had ended and the game was getting ready to start. He then noticed Sebastian and Elena making their way towards them from behind Sarah. "Perhaps another time. It looks like your brother is coming back. Here, let me get the trash."

Chuck hurriedly grabbed the trays and took them to the trash as Sebastian and Elena joined them. Sebastian was gesturing animatedly at the autographed ball and bat that he had been given. The ball was signed by the entire team and the bat was signed by both Fred McGriff and Robin Ventura, two Future Hall of Famers. He also told them how he was on the field for the entire batting practice and even caught a fly ball from The Crime Dog.

"I also gave him some pointers about his sign language and how to make sure everyone can understand him," Elena added. "I taught him a little trick to do with his foot so he knows not to go too fast." Elena placed her hands on his shoulders. "He is a very special kid."

"Thank you," Sarah said sincerely. She pulled the young woman in front of her in for a quick thank you hug. At least that's what it looked like to Chuck.

"Just so you know, you will never get that chance," Sarah whispered in a slightly alarming tone before pulling back and smiling at her.

Elena steadied her features before turning to Chuck with a smile on her face. "And you," she said as she poked her finger into his chest. "Don't wait too long to call me again or I will come find you." She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "She's a keeper. Don't be a fool like you were with me and let her get away."

Chuck blushed a bit as he rubbed his chest. "What do you mean?" All Chuck heard was a snort as she walked away.

The rest of the day went beautifully, even though the Dodgers lost the game. As they walked back to the courtyard later that afternoon, Chuck reminded Sebastian that he would be at the apartment early the next morning for his lesson and then they would go out and do something together. He asked Sarah if she wanted to join them but she had to decline she had a meeting with her attorney which would probably take all day. However, she added she would be free the following day if they had something planned. Unfortunately, Chuck told her he would be heading up to Stanford to take some tests, but he would talk to her after he got back.

They said their goodbyes and Chuck made his way to Ellie's apartment while Sarah and Sebastian went towards theirs. As Chuck entered the apartment, Sarah stopped on the steps for a brief moment and stared at the man who in just a short period of time had become as important to her as he was to her brother. As his door shut, Sarah made her way up the stairs lost in thought. For once in her life, she wondered what the future might bring.

* * *

_**Thursday September 4th, 2003 - 8:00 PM – Echo Park**_

Sarah locked the door behind Sebastian and herself. They had just come back from the Griffith Observatory where Sebastian learned about astronomy…and Sarah learned quite a bit herself…before they spent the remainder of the day on the boardwalk. Chuck had stopped by early to give Sebastian his lesson as he promised. But when her appointment with her lawyer finished just before noon, she decided to join them, much to Chuck's, and hers delight.

Sarah hung up her coat and the rest of the day came flooding back to her. She sat down on the couch for a few minutes, her long day with Chuck bringing a smile to her face, when her cell phone had rung for the third time that day. Every time it was the same number, and she didn't recognize it. But since it could have been a teaching assignment, she decided to answer it this time. She motioned for Chuck and Sebastian to keep walking but they stopped in the hallway as she answered her phone.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hi. Is this Sarah Walker?"

She placed a finger in her left ear and spoke a little louder. "Yes, this is Sarah Walker. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi. This is Bryce. Remember, we met at the party for Chuck and you agreed to go on a date with me?"

Sarah glanced at Chuck who was tossing a piece of popcorn in his mouth and Sebastian was trying to emulate him. "Uh, yeah, I remember."

"Well you said we could go out on the 6th and that's what this Saturday is, so I was hoping we could go out to dinner and a movie?"

"Uhh look, things have changed. I….."

"…Aww come on, beautiful," Bryce interrupted, much to Sarah's dismay. "You promised me a date. I guarantee if you don't like it, I will never ask again."

Sarah glanced at Chuck and moved herself away just out of earshot. "Fine," she replied through gritted teeth, even as her stomach started to turn itself into knots.

"OK, great. I will pick…." Sarah hung up the phone quickly as she sensed someone coming up behind her. She turned to find Chuck and Sebastian walking back in her direction.

"Hey, is everything OK?"

_Why did I do that?_ Sarah thought, although she tried to keep the anguish from her face. She couldn't handle looking into those warm, brown eyes that were so full of genuine concern for her. She only accepted the date to get Bryce off of her back, and she did make that promise. A promise she had regretted ever since.

Sarah feigned a headache and asked if they could cut the rest of the night short. Ever the gentleman, Chuck understood completely and headed for the door. The knots she felt earlier threatened to make her cry. She wanted to come up with a way to tell Chuck about Bryce.

"Chuck?"

"Yes, Sarah?" Chuck asked as he turned back to her.

Sarah was ready to admit the truth. But those trusting eyes made her falter. "Study hard tomorrow and let us know how you do on Saturday. We're pulling for you."

"Thanks," he replied with a smile. Sarah wasn't sure, but this smile felt a bit different. More than his ear-to-ear grin's that she found so adorable, his face gave away the look of…promise, perhaps?

She walked up to him and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek, her hand gently gliding against his other cheek to hold him there momentarily. "Good night," she whispered softly into his ear.

Chuck signed good night to Sebastian and pulled the door open. Stepping out of the apartment, Sarah lingered for a brief second before gently closing the door. Chuck stood for a moment as the image of the long slope of Sarah's neck and her cascading blonde hair filled his vision. He felt it against his cheek when she kissed him, and he prayed he didn't look as flushed when they said goodbye as he felt right now.

He descended the stairs and walked across the courtyard to Ellie's and Devon's apartment. As he put his hand on the doorknob, the door flew open.

"Dude, how about a game of Call of _Duty_ and grape soda?"

Chuck shook his head and smiled. Clearly Morgan decided to take advantage of Ellie and Awesome working tonight. He put his hands on Morgan's shoulders and pushed him inside. "Sure, I could use something to take my mind off of studying tomorrow. But aren't you DJ'ing tonight?"

"Yeah, but I don't have to be there 'til eleven so I'm free to spend some time with my best bud!"

Chuck exhaled and plopped down on the couch in front of the TV. Morgan handed him a controller and a can of grape soda. At least some things still felt the same.

* * *

_**Saturday September 6th, 2003 - 8:45 AM - Stanford University**_

The ride to Palo Alto wasn't too bad for Chuck. He was in the passenger seat of his sister's Mustang convertible with the top down and she had volunteered to drive him up there. In fact, Devon even Morgan had volunteered to bring him back or even accompany them to the school. But it was odd that Bryce never made the same offer. Actually, Chuck hadn't heard from him in several days.

But now wasn't the time to think about it. He had to keep his mind in the game, as Awesome would say. It wasn't until they turned onto Palm Drive and he saw The Oval with the quad behind it that his stomach began to get queasy.

Sensing his discomfort, Ellie placed a supportive hand on top of his and patted it. "Chuck, please. It's going to be OK. Don't hyperventilate and keep your eyes on the prize. You can get through this, and then we'll deal with the rest."

Ellie looked at Chuck. Both of his hands were pulling at his hair and the sweat from his brow was evident, even though it was a cool morning. Ellie could see tears forming in the corner of his eyes. She immediately pulled over and turned the car off. She got out of the car and ran around the front of the car to open the passenger side door.

"Chuck, look at me." Chuck just stared straight ahead as the tears streamed down his face. "Little brother, please look at me."

Chuck started trembling uncontrollably. Ellie suddenly grabbed his shoulders and slammed him back against the seat.

"CHARLES IRVING BARTOWSKI! YOU KEEP YOUR EYES ON MINE!" That shook Chuck out of his panic. "You can get through this! You will get this done! Not only for yourself but for Kayla as well!"

She paused and looked into Chuck's eyes. She saw a fire behind them. She wasn't sure if it was anger or determination, but the tears were still coming and both of his fists where clenched so hard together that his knuckles were turning white and she could see the skin beginning to give way underneath his nails.

She took his hands and squeezed him tightly, her voice becoming much softer. "Chuck, I know this place is as bad of a place in your mind as anywhere that you spent time with Kayla. But this today is for you, for your future. Kayla would want you to do this. Now show her and everyone else what I already know. That you are a Bartowski, and that a Bartowski always rises to the challenge. I promise, once this is over we will reminisce and I will give you all of the time that you need. Please? Do this for me, for her, but most of all, do it for you."

Ellie could feel the tension begin to leave his body. It was then she dug into her pocket and produced a locket, placing it in Chuck's hand. Chuck wiped his eyes and looked down at the golden trinket that was resting inside of his left hand. He carefully pried open the edges to reveal two pictures on the inside. One was of him and Kayla together and the other was of Kayla by herself with that sultry smile that he loved so much. It took him a moment to realize Ellie was speaking to him again.

"Chuck, I'm giving this to you not to make you more depressed but to give you inspiration and hope. Keep this locket close to your heart and take strength in knowing that Kayla will be with you always. And before you ask, no you don't have to wear it al of the time. I know it's kind of girly but use it as a symbol for today."

For the first time since they had left the hotel where they stayed the night to drive to the campus, Ellie saw the slightest hint of a smile. He ran his finger over the picture of Kayla and used his sleeve to wipe his nose and looked up at the one woman who was always there for him.

"You are right, Ellie. Let's get to the testing center and begin to put this behind us."

He pulled his door shut and Ellie made her way back to the driver's side and started the car. They drove the remaining half-mile to the testing center. As Ellie pulled up to the door, a woman in a gray pencil thin skirt and a purple blouse came outside. Before Chuck could even blink, Ellie was out of the car and embracing the woman in a hug. Chuck sat there with a what-the-hell look on his face until Ellie turned from the woman and waved for him to get out of the car.

"Excuse me, Dean Lewis, you remember the reason that we are here. This is my younger brother, Chuck."

Chuck went to shake the dean's hand when she surprised him with a hug. "Welcome back, Charles. You know, once your tests are done and we await your grades, I still have some furniture for you to move back into my office."

Chuck's face got a little red at the mini-flashback going through his mind and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes ma'am, anything you wish."

"Ma'am?" Dean Lewis was incredulous. "Boy what in the hell has happened to you that you're showing me so much respect?"

"Well, ma'am, I actually joined the police department after everything that happened."

"Oh, I know that. Your sister keeps me updated with your exploits. Including saving those nice people at the expense of your kidney."

Chuck glanced at his sister, who apparently was watching the clouds. He returned his attention towards Dean Lewis when she again took him by surprise. "Come, Charles. It's good to have you back. Let's get you inside and get these tests over with so we can then sit down and have a little chat."

"That sounds good, ma'am." Chuck looked at his sister and gave her a this-isn't-over glare. To her credit, Ellie remained oblivious to his discomfiture as she looked under her nails to see if there was any dirt.

The trio walked and Chuck was introduced the two professors who would be giving moderating and grading his exams: Dr. Diane Turner and Professor Turgeson. Ellie gave Chuck a hug and left with Dean Lewis to go and catch up while Chuck took a seat, turned to the professors and smiled.

* * *

_**Saturday September 6th, 2003 - 12:00 PM - Stanford University**_

Chuck exited the testing center and stretched his arms. He looked down the hall to find his sister and his former dean seated on one of the benches. They were engrossed in conversation, but as he walked up to them his shadow caught the eye of the dean. Ellie turned and looked at her brother.

"Well, how did it go?"

"They said I should know by Monday, so I thanked them for their time and then I came out here."

"OK, how do you think you did?"

Chuck shrugged his shoulders. "It is what it is."

"Charles, your sister is just curious. Let's all go over to the Starbucks in the student union and get a coffee and talk for a bit," the dean replied.

* * *

_**Saturday September 6th, 2003 - 6:45 PM – Interstate 405**_

They had been driving for almost an hour, and the radio had been on some mindless station that seemed to be repeating the same pop songs every five minutes. Ellie kept repeating the same action she had as well: staring at her younger brother, who was mindlessly staring out the window as the scenery of the trees and other cars on the road as they passed by.

Ellie returned her eyes on the road and her mind drifted back to about an hour ago when the pair pulled up in front of Chuck's old apartment in Palo Alto. It was the apartment that he had shared with his fiancée, Kayla. At first, he wouldn't get out of the car. Ellie could understand that, so she sat outside the car on the bumper and gave him all the time that he needed.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but in actuality it was only a few minutes, the passenger side door opened and Chuck emerged. He took a deep breath and let his eyes take in the entire building. He was noticing every crevice and how the ivy from the garden had steadily been growing up the side of the complex. He walked up the front door of the building and ran his fingers over the porch tresses. Ellie could only begin to wonder what memory the porch was bringing up in her brother. She placed her finger to her lips and began chewing on her fingernails as she watched him delicately trace the overhang with his finger. A moment later, an older man came out of the entrance, and as Chuck noticed him the older man took him into an embrace.

Ellie noticed her brother mouth 'help' to her, so she came over and shook the older man's hand. She couldn't help but notice as her brother's gaze went back to the overhang. She also noticed that his PDA levels had reverted back to his pre-Kayla days. The older man brought them inside and let them into the apartment, which wasn't being rented at the moment.

They stood back to give Chuck room as he stood in the doorway. Blinking back tears, his eyes scanned the room and the memories flooded into his mind. Everywhere he looked he saw memories that he shared with Kayla; their first kiss in their apartment, the first place they made love, then the second, the moment he caught her staring out the window under the bright moonlight looking at her engagement ring. Finally it was too much for him and Ellie couldn't let him relive it by himself any longer. She walked up and took him in her arms, holding him close as he cried the tears that hadn't been shed in over two years. He had kept his emotions tight to the vest for so long that they came in waves making his whole body shake

That was well over an hour ago. Now Ellie once again felt her gaze drifting back towards her brother. But as her eyes again returned to the cars in front of her, she heard something she never expected to ever hear again.

"Do you think that there is only one person meant for us?" Chuck mumbled, never taking his eyes off of the scenery going by.

"Umm, do you mean do I think we are destined to only have one true love in life?"

"Yeah."

Ellie bit the inside of her cheek while trying to come up with what he needed to hear. "Honestly Chuck, I don't know. The only thing I'm positive about above all else is that we aren't meant to live alone or unloved. So whether that means we have one love for our entire lifetime or we have a dozen, as long as we are happy and they are happy, then life is worth living."

The silence returned to the car for a while as they made their way up the 405. "Thanks, El."

"You're welcome, Chuck." Ellie replied not trying to push him too far as this was the deepest conversation they had had in aw while regarding his personal life.

After another mile, which took a bit of time as they hit Saturday evening traffic in Los Angeles, the air of tension was broken again by Chuck. "Ask it," he said with a long exhale.

"Ask what?" Ellie replied innocently.

"What you're dying to ask me."

Ellie massaged the steering wheel trying to play it cool. "Chuck, I truly don't know what you mean."

Chuck gave a derisive snort while wiping a tear from his eye. The culmination of the past two weeks finally hit home today on the drive with his sister.

"Chuck? Come on, sweetie, you can tell me what's on your mind."

Chuck turned to look at his sister. "I…I…" Chuck sighed and ran his fingers through his hair and faced the window again. He took a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, because if you would have asked me this question a few weeks ago, I would have said that I would be alone forever until I joined Kayla."

Ellie felt the tears well up in her eyes but fought with every ounce of to not let them fall as her hands wrapped tighter onto the steering wheel, her knuckles becoming white with anticipation.

"But…"

_Oh God. What now?!_ Ellie's conscious screamed.

"I can't ask her out yet."

"Ask who out?"

"Well I'm her brother's friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship, so I have to ask him first. If he says yes, then I will ask her out"

Ellie's inner girl was doing the happy dance as she tried to keep down an ear-piercing scream she was dying to let out. "Chuck, you mean you want to…"

"Ask Sarah out, yeah sis. We've gotten to know one another quite well over the last few weeks and she's been on my mind for almost all of it."

"When are you planning on asking her out?"

"Tonight, as soon as we get back."

Chuck was about to say something else when all of a sudden he was slammed back into his seat from Ellie gunning the V-8 engine in her Mustang. "Hey, Captain Kirk! What's with going to warp speed? Are you trying to kill us?"

"I'm getting you home, so just sit back and hang on."

Chuck grabbed the bar just above the glove compartment, finally understanding why it was called the _Oh Shit!_ bar. "If you don't mind, I'd like to arrive there in one piece and without my shorts being soiled. Not to mention, you do realize you are driving with a police officer, right? Do you want me to make you pull over and give you a ticket?"

Ellie turned and gave him a Bronx cheer. "You're on leave, little brother, so you can't give me a ticket even if you wanted to. And you've been alone long enough Chuck. I want to see you happy."

"I don't know about happy, El. It's just one date. I mean, do you really think Kayla would mind me moving on?"

"Chuck, the number of dates you've been on since you lost Kayla I can count on one hand and have fingers to spare. Let me tell you something. One, she would absolutely not mind. I knew her well enough to believe she would not want you being alone and unhappy the rest of your life. And more importantly, you've never even kissed one of those dates goodnight and you're already thinking of Sarah as more than just a potential date. You deserve to be happy. And I really hope Sarah is the one who can make you happy."

Chuck looked down at the floor and couldn't help but smile. Ellie always looked out for him. She was there for the good times and all of the bad. And now that the long tunnel of darkness that was the last two years of his life had a small flicker of light ahead, she was going to make sure the train kept heading towards it.

"Thanks, Ellie. Thanks for everything that you have done for me. I wouldn't have made it through the last two years without you."

Ellie reached over and gently squeezed his shoulder. "You're worth all the effort, Chuck."

* * *

_**Saturday September 6th, 2003 - 7:30 PM – Echo Park**_

Sarah wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror. Her towel was wrapped tightly around her waist as the shower continued to pour hot steam into the bathroom. Her arms were locked tightly gripping the sink with her head bowed down. She didn't want her brother to hear any noise coming from the bathroom so she turned the shower to full stream. She ran her hand through her damp blonde mane and stared at her face through the steam building back up on the mirror. The image staring back was one she did not want to see.

Why did she answer that phone call? How was she going to look Chuck in the eye the next time she saw him when she went out on a date with his best friend? She knew nothing would become of the date. This Bryce was all surface and zero substance. But more than that, she had grown strong feelings for Chuck. Feelings that had only intensified over the last two weeks at seeing his caring and nurturing side with her brother. Someone who could only trust his big sister until this gentle giant of a police officer came into both of their lives. He not only got Sebastian to be more open and social he also taught him how to communicate and how to get back out there in life. There were so many times where she wanted to ask him out, but she held off. She desperately wanted him to make a move, but he never did. He stayed true to his word to prove to Sebastian that he wasn't helping him just to get to his older sister. And it was driving her crazy.

Sarah stepped into the shower and let the hot streaming water pelt her body. Every time she thought about Chuck her stomach twisted into more knots.

"Why am I going through with this?! I was a CIA Agent" she screamed at herself out loud as the water streamed down her face. She knew why she was going. Firstly, she wanted to get Bryce off of her back, knowing he wouldn't let up until they went out. Tragically, that was the only way to deal with guys like him and even though she was an agent and could come up with a number of ways to get out of the date she realized that she really needed this date with Bryce because she hadn't been out on a date in ages, and she needed to know if her feelings for Chuck were real and it wasn't just a desperate need to have a romantic relationship with someone.

She shook her head. That last excuse sounded very weak. How could she think she simply wanted to be with someone when every last thought in the last few weeks was for that cute neighbor who lived with his sister and her fiancé? He was just so kind to her brother's situation and he took the time to honestly listen to her, and he got her. Sure they had met before for five minutes, but those five minutes left a lasting impression on her. True, they hadn't been alone together except when he was teaching her sign language but even in the little things that he noticed and remembered that she liked or didn't like made her realize he understood her. He found the girl that the CIA had tried to bury without even trying. Even now, as she prepared to go out with someone else, all she could think about was Chuck and that scared her more than any mission that she had ever been on.

She was broken out of her thoughts as she heard a knocking on the door outside. She exited the shower and dried off. She began to get ready.

* * *

_**Saturday September 6th, 2003 - 7:45 PM – Echo Park**_

Ellie pulled the car into the parking spot and turned off the ignition. She turned and saw that her brother's gaze was focused on the front door of Sarah Walker's apartment. He sighed and slumped down in the seat.

"Chuck, just go," Ellie prompted. "Don't wait; otherwise you'll lose your nerve."

Chuck opened the door and limped his way across the courtyard making his way towards the stairs. Ellie sat in her car, put her hands together, and looked up into the sky. She wasn't a very religious person, but she figured short of saving someone's life, there wasn't a better time to bring out the big guns. Really, two lives might be saved tonight.

"Lord, these two kids have been dealt a terrible blow. I know everything you do that you do it for a reason, but hopefully you will find it within your power to give these two kids the kind of happiness that you have given me and Devon. They deserve it."

Ellie returned her gaze towards her brother as he slowly made his way up the stairs, his hand on his side, holding it as he made his way to the door.

Sebastian got off the couch when he heard someone knocking on the door. He knew his sister was in the shower so he went to the window and peered outside. He recognized the man at the door and opened it up enthusiastically.

As the door opened he looked up and saw Sebastian answering the door. _It's now or never._ "Uh, hey Sebastian. Do you mind if we talk for a minute?"

Sebastian enthusiastically waved his hands for Chuck to come in and he then went right to work with the sign language asking Chuck how his tests went.

A thin smile appeared on his lips. "They went OK, but it's going to be a few days before I know if I passed them or not. That's not why I'm really here. Do you mind if we sit on the couch and talk for a minute."

Sebastian walked over to the couch and sat down. "Look Sebastian, I would like to ask you a question, and I want you to understand that if you say no, I will respect that and nothing will change between us. I mean, my friendship with you is paramount to me, but….."

Sebastian interrupted Chuck. _You want to ask my sister to be your girlfriend_, he signed with a slightly goofy smile.

"Sebastian, I would like…wait what?" Chuck's eyes went wide with shock.

_I maybe young but I'm not blind, Chuck. Every time you guys are together, it just seems right. My sister never smiles as brightly unless you are around. What I'd like to know is what took you so long?_

"Well, uh…it's….um…

_Don't tell me I'm too young to understand. You like her and she likes you. It seems pretty simple to me. Just ask her to be your girlfriend, I know she's wants you to. If you don't I'm gonna tell her to ask you._

_You like her and she likes you and I just want my sister and my friend to be happy like my parents were. So just ask her already._

Chuck stared in shock for a moment before a huge grin erupted across his face, which Sebastian matched. "Thanks buddy. Um, where is your sister anyway?"

_She's in the bathroom._

"Ah, OK. Well, I will just wait for her to come out," Chuck replied as he wiped his now sweaty hands on his jeans, nerves getting the better of him.

There was another knock at the front door. He patted Sebastian's knee and told him that he would get it.

Just as he was about to answer the door he heard the bathroom door open. His hand held the doorknob as he turned. He felt his heart race as he caught sight of a vision of loveliness. Sarah emerged from the bathroom tossing her hair back, wearing a tight form fitting red shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. Her whole ensemble showing off the delicate and sexy curves that put together a fantastic package that culminated with a kind heart and a sharp mind.

As she saw him, he noticed a frown form on her face. Without realizing it, he finished pulling the door open. He slowly took his eyes off of Sarah and looked at the person on the other side of the door. His mouth dropped open.

"Uh Bryce, hey."

* * *

A/N2: Please don't hate me for the way this chapter ends. i know that it is a cliff hanger but i promise the next chapter will explain the end and set up the next arc. I promise not to let this next chapter take another 6 months.


	15. Chapter 15: Searching for Answers

A/N: From Bdaddydl: I am really interested in seeing the response on this chapter. When Supesfan told me about it, I knew how pivotal it would be, and I do not think it will disappoint. Our favorite couple are getting closer to being able to handle a relationship. Please enjoy as they take a few steps in that direction.

For those that are finding issue with Sarah, please remember that even in this AU Sarah sucks when dealing with emotions. Hopefully you enjoy the resolution.

There will be another A/N at the end thanks.

* * *

Chapter 15 Searching For Answers and Rash Decisions

**WALKER RESIDENCE (7:50pm)**

"Bryce what are you doing here?" Chuck almost balked as his suave friend slipped into the house and around him. He also noticed that Bryce was wearing his getting lucky clothes.

"Chuck ummm" Sarah began to say as a blush began creep up into her cheeks as again her eyes ventured up and down his body and what he was wearing, but she was cut off.

"I am here to take this beautiful lady out Chuck. Are you here to babysit the little guy here?" Bryce went to rub his hand into Sebastian's hair, but Sebastian backed away and went to the kitchen. Once there he began scribbling something down furiously.

"So you two are going out on a date?" Chuck almost choked on his owns words.

"Yeah Buddy, I mean you don't have a problem with that do you?" Bryce asked.

"No, no, no why would I? I just stopped by to give Sebastian an update, but I guess I'll be going. Sebastian, I will see you later ok bud."

It was at that moment that Sarah found her voice and she croaked out "Chuck wait, were you here to talk about the test" Her heart fluttering a bit thinking he may have been there for something else.

Chuck looked back at her while opening the front door. "Yeah, something like that. Don't worry we can talk about it another time, you kids have fun tonight. Oh and Sarah you look great tonight, but blue would have been a better choice."

With that Chuck walked out of the door and shut it. Instead of waiting for his heart to break bit by bit again he just limped down the stairs as fast as he could and completely by passed Ellie's place. Once he made his way out of the courtyard to the city streets, he turned the corner looking for a cab to flag down.

Back in the apartment Sarah schooled her features as to not let her disdain for the man in front of her show. She had to make it thru the evening, she had to find out, and then she could get passed it. She noticed the hurt that was clearly evident and that had flashed across Chuck's face. She had also noticed Sebastian placing rather forcefully something into her purse as Bryce was talking about the night that he had planned for them.

Bryce looked at his watch and motioned for them to leave. Sarah walked up to Sebastian and gave him a kiss, telling him to contact her if he needed her and she would answer right away. She also reminded him that if there were any other problems that Ellie and Chuck were right down stairs. He signed that he knew and that he would be ok.

"Don't stay up too late, I will be home early ok Seb." Sebastian nodded but as they were leaving out the door, Bryce opened the door for himself and went out leaving Sarah to leave second and close the door behind her. As they finished walking out he had the nerve to say out loud, "Well not too early" and just laughed as the door shut.

_Well that's another tick against him. He didn't even open the door for me, just himself. Chuck always opens the door for me, or Sebastian or anyone really before he will let himself in any _place_. That's just another Check mark For Chuck._ Sarah followed Bryce to his Car. Her senses keeping an eye out for everything and anything, yet her mind kept going back to those brown eyes.

After several awkward moments where no one spoke in the car, the pressure to say something built up till she said. "So Bryce, where are we going?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out pretty lady." Bryce replied smooth and full of swagger his cockiness making him oblivious to his passengers look of disgust

* * *

**The Blue room bar 8:20pm**

Chuck looked up into the sky and saw the storm clouds getting ready to surge. Like the hole that had been reopened in his heart that had snuck up on him out of nowhere.

Shaking his head he walked up to the door that the cab dropped him off at, and once opened he was immediately hit by the smell of alcohol and smoke, along with the blaring sounds of _Hotel California_ being played from the juke box.

He walked up to the bar and found a seat and quickly got the attention of the bartender and asked for a Killian's Irish Red.

After having received his beer Chuck turned around on his bar stool and leaned his elbows back against the bar rail and held his beer in his right hand. His foot tapping to the song that was ending as the DJ for the night came back to the micro phone and welcomed everyone back to karaoke night, upon hearing this Chuck turned back towards the bar and placed his arms on the bar table around his beer as he went over the nights events in his head.

_How had he misread the situation so badly? Maybe it was his growing feelings that he kept denying were the problem. After Kayla he didn't think he would ever even open himself up to these kinds of feelings again. Were his instincts that far off that he was imagining Sarah's interest? He didn't think so, yet he was out of practice with this type of thing. That…smug look on Bryce's face. I just wanted to hit him. I can't be too jealous, it's not like I told him I was interested but damn. _Chuck shook his head as he thought. _Maybe I waited too long and missed my opportunity, and why did I make that crack about the color of her shirt._

He had been there for about 45minutes when he had polished off his second beer and waved to the bartender. "Can I get another beer and two shots of Johnny Walker"

"You must be trying to forget something awful fast?' The bartender asked while grabbing a bottle of The Black Label when he was waived off of the regular and began pouring it into two shot glasses.

"Something?" Chuck chuckled, "Actually a whole lotta something's."

Chuck downed the first shot quickly and slammed the glass down as the bartender replied "It can't be that bad. Hey have you been in here before? You look so familiar."

Shaking his head "Naah, I get that a lot, I just needed to go someplace people wouldn't look for me for a while." Just then a rumble of thunder could be heard over the voice of the current singer who was making William Hung of American Idol fame sound like a Grammy award winner.

Chuck was about to place the second shot to his lips when he was bumped by the guy muscling his way between people to grab the seat next to him. His shot spilling all over him and the bar, Chuck responded quickly "Hey ya big ape watch where you're sitting."

The big burly man turned his head slightly at Chuck and growled lightly while pulling his cap tighter down on his head hiding his eyes from view. He folded his hands together, his Naval Academy Ring gleaming in the light and waited for the bartender.

The bartender wiped up the mess and repoured Chucks drink and Chuck slid a five over to the bartender as a way to say thank you, while the gruff man next to him made his order. As he was about to down his second shot he made the comment, "I guess manners aren't taught where you're from huh!"

The man next to him flexed his arms out, his massive forearms and biceps tightening up and as he does his shirt sleeve slides up and displays a tattoo. Chuck downed his shot and slammed the glass down again and noticed his tattoo. It was a common tattoo after 9/11 that says we shall never forget and from what he could make out from under the sleeve it had the bent steel girders and the American flag rising from the debris.

Chuck took a big sip from his beer and just had to open his mouth once again "So did you just get that because everyone else was getting them?"

The man sitting next to him slowly put his shot glass down and turned towards Chuck with surprising speed, grabbing him by the shirt and growled at him. "What do you have a problem with people remembering 9/11 kid?"

Just as fast Chuck slammed his fist down onto the counter. "Yeah, yeah I do, I have a **huge** problem with people jumping on the band wagon after something horrible happens, before the tragedy they could have cared less about the people or the country that it happened to. Do you want to make something of it? If you're afraid of doing something in here we can always take this outside."

The bigger man's shirt strained against his muscles as he poked him in the chest and leaned in real close. His face was not 3 inches from his face. Meanwhile he did not raise his voice, and kept it almost as low as a whisper. "Listen kid, I don't care if you're passionate or not. Do. Not Ever. Disrespect my love for my country; I have served my country with distinction while you were still a glimmer in your ole man's eye. On top of that moron, don't ever disrespect the memory of those who fell that day, putting their lives on the line to save slackers who couldn't help themselves, and paid the ultimate price."

"What do you know about it old man?"

With that the stranger cocked his hand back to strike him, but the bartender coughed loudly. When the two men looked at the sound said "I have no interest in kicking you two out of this place.

The rain could be heard pounding on the tin roof of the building as the two men settled down, then turning back into the bar and grabbing their beers. As the big man took a sip of his draft the bartender walked back up to them and slapped the counter.

"I remember you now. You're that off duty cop from the papers; the one who was wounded saving the people in that liquor store. Chuck sighed and nodded his head. "Man the news said that you were severely wounded taking on three guys by yourself. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do for us."

"Thanks." Chuck replied shaking the man's hand before lowering his head back into his own hands. The bartender poured him another shot and said "The drinks are on me."

Chuck lifted his head up and held up his hands, "No that's not necessary, I was just doing my job. I pay my way. "

"Injured in the line of duty huh." The stoic man next to him spoke loudly over the noise in the bar.

"Yeah, but honestly I was just doing the job I was trained to do. It wasn't anything special."

After a few minutes of silence from the man who took another sip from his draft. "Been there myself" a brief pause before he continued. "Casey"

"Excuse me?" A look of confusion set upon the young cops face.

"My name is Casey, John Casey."

"Chuck Bartowski." They shook hands and returned to their drinks.

Neither man spoke for a bit but then the silence was broken by the bigger man. "To fallen friends and comrades."

Over the loud speaker it was announced that the bar would now be performing spotlight karaoke where were ever the light landed that person had to sing.

Chuck raised his glass and downed the shot. Both men returning to their drinks and settling into a comfortable silence until it was broken again "Look I lost someone special to me that day and I am a little touchy on the subject, that coupled with a bad night and I am a hair trigger waiting to happen."

"Which branch did you serve?"

"Force Recon..."

Chuck's eyes opened wide, "Did you…." However he was cut short when he felt the warmth of the spotlight hit his back. He shut his eyes and slowly lowered his head. He could feel all of the eyes in the room fall upon him. He silently cursed realizing that he hadn't really paid the announcement any attention and didn't even look at any of the promotional posters when he entered the bar. HE felt a tap on his shoulder, and when he turned and saw the MC for the night standing near him saying "It's your turn to be a STAR!"

"No thanks, I am honestly here just to enjoy a drink with my friend here, and then I was going to be going."

But the MC would not take no for an answer. "Listen buddy it's ok to have a little stage fright. It's no big deal, just come on up and show us what you have got."

Again trying to refuse the MC gently Chuck again shook his head and turned back towards his drink.

"Well folks it looks like we have a stubborn one here tonight." He turned and faced the crowd egging them on." How about you help me sway his decision." He then started a chant of "SING" "SING' "SING".

The crowd began to get louder with the chant as Chuck noticed a shot being placed in front of him. He looked up to see the bartender mouth the words "Sorry". Chuck picked up the shot and drained the dark liquid down his throat.. Then stood up and turned to the MC and gestured towards the stage. The crowd erupted in applause as they were finally going to get to hear the man trying to turn down the stage.

Chuck grabbed the bar stool and placed it at the front of the stage and turned to the MC and said loudly for everyone to hear. "Do you have a guitar?"

The MC looked around and saw the Bar manager shake his head yes and he headed towards the bar office. A moment later a Guitar was brought to the stage and handed to Chuck.

Chuck then turned again to the MC and whispered something to him. The Dj's eyes widened and he slowly rose the mike to his lips and said "Ladies and gentlemen we apparently have a brave soul in front of us who thinks he is going to put on a performance for us with no music or background singing at all so let's give… Hey what's your name?"

"Chuck"

"Chuck a round of applause."

The crowd erupted in cheers and a few sneers from the guys who thought he was just putting on a show.

He then pulled the mike a little closer and took a deep breath. His fingers lightly at first strumming the guitar in a slightly familiar cord, fingers effortlessly gliding across the frets and strings and the first riff was completed.

Chuck lowly at first started to sing the first chorus to the song. After shutting his eyes and just letting the images in his mind take the pressure off the prying eyes from the crowd that would see into his soul if he opened them he slowly felt his voice gaining confidence as he began to belt out the song softly but strong.

_Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven?  
Would you feel the same  
If I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on  
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven  
_  
As the second verse of the song began Casey turned towards the man with whom he had just met and noticed a single tear begin to drop from the young man's closed eye, and he looked out over into the crowd. The women in the bar were in complete amazement and entranced as the soft melodic voice bringing them all to an emotional ride. . The rawness being poured out of him was powerful indeed. The scene in the bar was almost serene. There was not one sound made. Even the bartenders stopped the glasses from clinking as the display of raw emotion before them drew everyone into the music that was being played..

_Would you hold my hand  
If I saw you in heaven?  
Would you help me stand  
If I saw you in heaven?  
I'll find my way through night and day  
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven_

While glancing at the stage Casey felt his Motorola StarTAC phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled the sleek flip phone out of his pocket and flipped it open and saw the name on the screen. After a brief noncommittal grunt, he clicked accept and put his phone to his ear and said. "Commander."

"Good evening Colonel Casey, have you arrived in California yet?"

"Yes Ma'am, I have."

"Good, why don't you come meet me at the Precinct in about thirty minutes and we can meet on the offer that I have for you."

"Sounds good Commander, I will see you soon."

"Good I look forward to seeing you, Beckman out."

Casey downed his scotch and glanced at the young man on the stage one more time.

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees  
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

_Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure  
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven_

He then adjusted his hat and made his way through the silent crowd towards the entrance when he nearly collided with a young Blonde woman who seemed out of sorts, but somehow completely avoided him in a very slick slide move. He held the door open for her and then left out the same door as another crack of thunder belted through the night's sky.

Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven?  
Would you feel the same  
If I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

* * *

**(Justin Timberlake's **_**Rock your Body**_** began to blare from the speakers as he starts his car) 8:20pm**

Sarah and Bryce drove down the street in an uncomfortable silence towards their destination. They had been driving for about a half an hour now, and at first there was lite chit chat, but that had fallen into that uncomfortable quiet when everything in the conversation was turning back towards the driver, and not the woman he should have been trying to get to know. Sarah sat there in the passenger seat in deep thought.

She found herself replaying moments from the last half an hour. When they walked out to Bryce's stylish sleek black BMW Z4 he walked to his side of the car and got in while Sarah had been expecting him to open the door for her. When it was clear that he wasn't going to get out of the car and come open her door she looked up to the sky and saw the clouds forming and sighed. She opened the door and slid in.

Maybe she was expecting too much, she had never been in a relationship per say. Her longest relationship was one from a mission, and that was not even remotely real, which was why she needed to this. How had in such a short period of time Chuck spoiled her so much? _He always opened the door for both her and Sebastian. Sebastian would give him a playful glare but let him do it. That's just how he is. After all he was raised by his sister and she instilled manners in her younger brother._

However, as they were in the car Sarah's training had her noticing the little things as they were driving. She never really paid attention to these things before, as she was mostly on missions and in her downtime, as rare as it was, mostly spent by herself reading or the rare visit to her family. But she made sure to keep a mental note of everything she saw. The cars they drove by where the guy did or didn't open to door for his date, or whether they opened the door to the restaurant.

_Chuck does all of these things and we aren't even dating. Chuck even lets us pick what's on his radio, unless there is something that he thinks we should try and hear. God why am I here, when I want to be somewhere else with someone else. No. I need to know if what I am feeling is real, even though this could lead to me never getting what I truly want._

"Uhmm" Sarah was broken out of her thoughts by her date sitting next to her. "Hey babe we are here."

Sarah looked to the car window as the valet opened the door for her. She accepted the hand in front of her and saw the sign "SPAGO"

She turned as she felt an arm glide around her midsection and she almost led off with a right hook until she noticed it was Bryce.

"Bryce it was really nice of you to bring me here, but we could have gone someplace less fancy. I am not exactly dressed for dining in a place like this."

"Nonsense the Crème De la crème dine here. Besides, you will have every man's jaw dropping as we walk in, and every woman mad at you. You outshine them like no one will have ever done before, and to think, you will be on my arm. This night is going to be perfect."

"Right this way my lady" Bryce gestured with his hand.

Sarah went in the direction she was lead to go and to no surprise of her, Bryce opened the door, but he then stepped in himself and let the door go as the attendant caught it and gestured for her to go in. "Thank you." she whispered.

The older man nodded and closed the door behind her.

As the Matre de' took Bryce's name and confirmed his reservation, he signaled for a waiter to come over. He handed him two menus, and he motioned for the two diners to follow him. Bryce slipped his arm thru Sarah's and they made their way thru the crowded restaurant.

As Bryce predicted almost all of the eyes fell on the gorgeous couple walking thru to their table. It was a slightly secluded table in the corner. Sarah took the wall seat out of habit, and scanned the room for entry and exit points.

Once Bryce was seated, the waiter took their drink orders and made his way to the bar station. Sarah had asked for a white wine and glass of ice water before Bryce could even speak. He then huffed for a moment and placed his napkin on his lap and began to butter a piece of bread.

Once he had calmed down enough "You know I was going to order us a bottle of Dom"

"It's ok; I'm really more of a beer and wine girl, besides I wanted the wine instead. I'm not much of a champagne drinker. Thanks for the thought."

They settled into small talk about each other's jobs and then the silence fell again. Sarah again felt her emotions and mind going back to Chuck. She picked up a bread stick out of the basket and absent mindedly began just playing with it by twirling it in her fingers as she thought back to that day at the ball park. There was something about Elena's message that she knew she was not kidding about. If she didn't make her move soon then she could lose him forever.

Bryce excused himself for a moment to use the restroom and left the table. Sarah gasped for just a second as she took the breath that she hadn't even realized she had been holding in as she was lost in thought and took the moment to open her purse and pull the note out that Sebastian had placed inside of there. _Chuck had come here to ask my permission to ask you out but then you went out on a date with this loser, way to go sis._ Sarah's hand flew to her mouth as she read the note as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She carefully folded the note up and slid it back in her purse just as she heard a noise coming from in front of her.

Bryce cleared his throat again and spoke "So have you found anything you like?"

Sarah looked up slightly startled and replied "Oh from the menu?"

Bryce smiled a cheesy grin and said "The Company could be an option as well."

Bryce scooted his chair over and Sarah caught the move out of her left eye, but let him keep going to see where he was going with it, while she was trying to keep her emotions in check from what she had just found out. _Had she blown it was it too late_?

Bryce leaned into her and his cologne hit her full force. Trying not to gag by the over powering smell of _Obsession_ she listened as she perused the menu.

"You know the company your with is a lot more interesting if you participate more in the conversation."

"Oh I am sorry Bryce; I was just looking at the menu."

"No need pretty lady; I know exactly what you want." With that he snapped his fingers to the waiter and grabbed the menu from her not noticing the daggers coming from his dates eyes.

After ordering their meals and appetizers Bryce tried to intertwine his fingers with hers. She closed her fist tightly and Bryce's ring finger and pinky got caught within her grasp. A slight crack could be heard and a pained expression flashed across his face as she relaxed her grip and he pulled his finger free.

"That's quite a grip you have their Sarah, do you exercise a lot?"

"You would be surprised with what I can do Bryce"

"Oh I bet I would" Bryce replied as he leaned in a little closer sliding his hand across the back of her chair. Sarah leaned into the table a little more so his hand could not make contact with her back.

The waiter came back to the table and placed a plate of oysters in between the two dining companions and along with refill of her glass of wine. Sarah picked up the glass and took a long sip before returning her gaze to her date.

"You know oysters are the aphrodisiac to life"

Sarah's smile faltered and replied. "Bryce, did you order these and bring me here to try and impress me and get me into bed? Because if you did, you can take me home right now, I am not that type of woman, and I don't appreciate being treated in this manner, as a matter of fact."

Bryce sat back in his chair and for the first time that night looked at the woman sitting next to him. He brought his napkin to his mouth and wiped the corners and then tossed it back on the plate.

"You're not even going to give this a chance are you? You don't even want to be here with me."

"I…."

"No, no excuses. Look, if you're thinking about who I think you have been distracted with all night tonight, then go, go to him."

Sarah didn't even look back into his eyes as she calmly replied "Thank you Bryce"

She noticed he didn't respond and flagged the waiter down. Bryce paid for the meal even though she insisted on paying for half and they made their way out to the car. The car took off from the side of the street as Bryce gunned the car into gear and jolted toward the highway. The car ride was made in virtual silence aside from the shifting of the gears and the windshield wipers as the storm really kicked into gear.

Even though she was trying not to push her luck as he was driving her to meet another man, when Sarah could not hold it in any longer she said "Bryce speed up, this can't wait." She noticed the wince that came from his face and then eery silence came hauntingly back in a hurry.

Sarah had been staring out the window for what seemed like an eternity until she saw the exit sign for Burbank. It was then that she noticed that Bryce had finally started to speak again.

"Look I don't know where he is, but I am willing to bet that he is not at home, which means he went to place to just disappear and hide."

"How do…"

"Regardless of what I did, or the feelings that were or weren't ever spoken about tonight, he is my friend and I know him like I would a brother. There is a row of bars not too far within a short cab ride of your place. I bet you would find him in one of those. As a matter of fact, try to the Blue room bar. It's probably the most remote."

He pulled the car over at the end of the block and pointed to a series of bars. She noticed the name on the sign and picked up her bag.

"Bryce, I really am sorry"

"Yeah. Me to."

With that she got out of the car in the rain and began to make her way down the street. Once she was safely away from the car Bryce pulled out his Nokia phone and hit speed dial six.

"Hey Vivian, it's Bryce, I thought I'd come over and give you some company."

"No. I promise I won't sneak out before you wake up this time. Alright, I'll stop by and bring us a snack." The devilish smile on face said it all as he took off down the street towards his new destination.

* * *

**Outside the Blue Room bar 9:10pm**

Sarah walked up to the bar wiping some of the rain from her face. Just as she reached for the door handle, the door flew open as a big burly man pulled the door open. She deftly slid past him and noticed his reaction to her movements, but let it slide as he exited the bar just as soon as she was past him.

She entered the packed bar wiping the rain form her face and trying to ring her long hair out on the matted floor when she noticed that bar was free of the normal noise and clatter. It was then that she heard the voice, the voice that had been haunting her all night.

She looked up and saw the man she was looking for, possibly for her entire life siting on a bar stool strumming the guitar and singing a ballad. The tunes immediately became engrained in her head as she saw the raw emotion pouring out of him. Her peripheral vision caught the eyes of everyone around her as they were all lasered in on the same thing, the man in front of her.

His eyes were closed and a single tear was making its way down his face as he softly sang the song. She didn't even notice it but she had slowly started to make her way to the stage being drawn in by the voice in front of her.

It was then that his eyes opened and caught hers the second he saw them, their eyes never leaving one another as he sang the last verse of the song.

Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven?  
Would you feel the same  
If I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

He strummed the last two cords of the song and slowly lowered the guitar as he just stood up and made his way into the crowd. The patrons all over the bar erupted in cheers and applause as the DJ tried to interview Chuck, but he just made his way through the crowd, the spotlight following him as he walked up and stood in front of the blonde that had appeared as if by magic.

He walked up and stood in front of her and instinctively placed his palms on the side of her face. Nothing at this moment was going to deter him. He felt her shiver under his touch, but his hands tangled with the wet hair behind her ears and he slowly lowered his head and gently touched his lips with hers.

At first it was a gentle kiss. Sarah's breath caught in her throat but didn't want to gasp to break the spell that they were both under. Her hands slid to his back and ran up to his head and made their way up and down. Slowly she parted her lips and he applied a little more pressure and slowly slid his tongue into her mouth and the kiss intensified. She had been kissed before but never with this kind of passion and hunger. It was like they were becoming one mind and soul.

She wanted it all.

Their mouths greedily enveloping one another as their hands clawed at each other. Sarah almost leapt up into his embrace, but out of shear will remembered where they were. Slowly, their lips parted both red and swollen from the passion and force of the kiss that they had just shared. Both lightly panting, lips nipping at one another's, their foreheads touching as they both remember where they were and the red Hugh spread through both of their cheeks.

Chuck again looks into her eyes and saw all her barriers and walls crumbling. In the process his eyes closed shut. His body tensed for the briefest of moments. When his eyes opened Sarah was shocked by the intense sadness in them. He stepped back, and just uttered one thing…..

"I am sorry, I thought I was ready, I, I, I just can't" and he made his way out of the bar as fast as he could.

It took Sarah a few minutes to gather herself. Her fingers still lingering over her lips as the electricity began to subside but not fade away. She strode out of the bar ignoring the whistles and cat calls.

* * *

A/N2: SO another Chapter down. Thanks for everyone who has read and pmed and reviewed. the comments have helped. for those of you who have issue with Sarah i am Sorry. But please remember Sarah as an Agent is awesome Sarah in relationships well in cannon or non she sucks its plain and simple and she is learning as her relationship with Chuck Blossoms. I know this ending is another cliffy and for that i apologize but the next chapter which could be considered thebookend of the trilogy of the last three will be worth it. That said the next chapter will probably not be out for awhile as i am still in the writing stages on it. BUt i wanted to get this one out as fast as i could. Please do not over read into these chapters, and try and read between the lines. that said i need to that Peteroinnj, MY buddy Bdaddydl and Michael66 and also Esardi for there invaluable help with this chapter. It has been a long timecoming and hopefully you will like it. let me know. Lastly as always thanks to my lovely wife and daughter for their love and support


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